Outfoxed. Means outsmarted or tricked. I’ve been reading a book of folktales from around the world, titled “Outfoxing Fear.” The heros and heroines may not always be smart, but they always win. Even the foolish younger brother ends up being smarter than the villain because of his sincerity, honesty, and innocence. But why “outfoxed”?
It turns out that foxes and humans have been close associates for several million years. In 2013, a fox fossil was discovered in South Africa that indicates it to have been living at the same time as Australopithecus, one of humanity’s earliest ancestors.
Foxes seem to have migrated all over the Earth, and there are stories from Ghana and Mali to China, Hungary, and Peru, not to mention North America. Foxes go back three- to five-million years, all the way to the ice ages and before.
Foxes were, and still are, noted for being adaptable and intelligent. There are stories from China and Japan depicting fox as a shapeshifter, capable of changing into female human form to marry unsuspecting men. They are magical, and may have as many as nine tails. The Japanese word for fox, kitsune, can mean either come and sleep or always returns, and they are mentioned as early as 749 CE.
In Europe as well as the Orient, there have been times when foxes were associated with the devil, and with witches. They were used as messengers by Mesopotamian goddesses. In Peru, they were warriors who never struck a blow, using only intelligence as a weapon. Finnish foxes outwit both wolf and bear, again demonstrating the superiority of smarts over brute strength and ill will. The Irish word “shenanigans” in Gaelic means “to play the fox.”
North American Native Peoples depict the fox as a trickster, who can benefit man by bringing him fire, or depriving him through thievery, but always using his brain rather than brawn. Aesop’s fables show the fox’s ability to think himself out of disappointment; when he cannot reach the grapes, he assures himself they were probably sour. Uncle Remus, in the American South, used Brer Fox in his tales, along with the even smarter Brer Rabbit.
Throughout the world, the consensus is the same: Fox is both a lesson in humility for the boastful and unkind, and an occasional helper of man, whether he realizes it or not. Fox demonstrates the power of intellect, but also its limitations. Smart is a powerful tool, but likewise it can “outfox” those who rely on it too much.
Coming up
You can ask all your questions about fox legends on the upcoming trip to the Festival of Nations in Albany on Oct. 23. The bus will leave the Berne senior center at 1 p.m., and will return at 5 p.m. Tickets are $4, and can be paid when you board the bus, but you need to sign up at the senior center, or call Phyllis at 872-9370 to register.
The senior shopping bus will make its bi-weekly trip on Oct. 5. Call CDTA at 437-5161 to reserve a spot and arrange for pickup. The bus goes to Walmart, and to Whole Foods at Colonie Center.
There will be a presentation titled “Understanding Medicare Open Enrollment and the Elderly Pharmaceutical Insurance Coverage (EPIC) Program” on Wednesday, Oct. 5 at the Carondelet Hospitality Center in Latham from 9 a.m. to noon The program is free, but you must register in advance. Call the Albany Guardian Society at 269-3976.
September is not international fox month as far as I know, but it is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Month, Happy Cat Month, International Strategic Thinking Month, and National Mushroom Month.
The week of the 25th is Banned Books Week (go to the library!), National Fall Foliage Week, and the International Sand Sculpting Championships.
Bright Pink Lipstick Day and Gold Star Mother's Day are Sept. 25; Johnny Appleseed Day and National Dumpling Day are the 26th. The 27th brings National Voter Registration Day (Do it!). The 28th is Fish Tank Floorshow Night (I have absolutely no idea...), and National Drink Beer Day. As an alternative, International Coffee Day is the 29th, along with VFW Day (Thank a vet!). The month ends with National Mulled Cider Day.
Menu
Whether you are a foxy lady, a foxy gent, or just one of us old fossils, we have the very smart lunch menu for the next week at the Senior Center. Come swap tales with friends, and enjoy a lunch that you don’t have to cook. Doors open at 11 a.m., and lunch is served promptly at Noon. We also have games, dominoes, and cards on Mondays and Tuesdays.
— Monday, Sept. 26, chicken and vegetables with wheat biscuit, beets with dill, oatmeal cookie, and milk;
— Tuesday, Sept 27, macaroni and cheese, stewed tomatoes, California blend vegetables, wheat bread, and apricots; and milk; and
— Friday, Sept. 30, lemon garlic baked fish, baked sweet potato, spinach, wheat bread, rice pudding with whipped topping, and milk.
Please call Linda Hodges 24 hours in advance to 872-0940 to reserve lunch, or email her at: , or sign up when you come in. Tell us how many are coming, your name, and your telephone number. If you’d just like to come and help out, give Mary Moller a call at 861-6253, or email her at , and put “volunteer” in the subject line.
Lunches are provided by Helderberg Senior Services, the Albany County Department of Aging, and Senior Services of Albany. The Town of Berne Community and Senior Services Center is located at 1360 Helderberg Trail (Route 443) in Berne.
The Sept. 10 meeting of the Hilltown Seniors was attended by 52 members. We had three new members.
Birthday greetings were sung to Shirley Wright, Linda McDermott, and Rob Moser. There were no anniversaries not that I didn't try. The Remmers declined my invitation. So I will try again next month.
Hard to get help and find housing
During our concerns and comment period, Martin Grossman said that he was looking for help around his home. Then the discussion began about getting help and the cost of help. We are all having the same problem.
Then the discussion of housing started. The only thing they are building are luxury apartments. They are out to make money, which is the way of the world.
Coming events
The travel committee is planning an Octoberfest to the Log Cabin.
Our November Thanksgiving dinner will be at the Reformed Church in Berne. Sign-up will be next month.
Sept. 29, at Saratoga Racino, the book club will meet and discuss our book plus help Roz Moser celebrate her birthday. It should be a good time and I hope a winning one.
On Sept. 25, a music day will be held from 2 to 5 p.m. at the Gallupville Methodist Church.
The Westerlo Reformed Church has started hosting lunch the fourth Thursday of each month.
A NEAT (Not Eating Alone Tonight) dinner is scheduled for this coming Monday.
A blood drive will be held at the Berne-Knox-Westerlo school on Sept. 29.
Enjoy the rest of the month and the beautiful fall in upstate New York.
Think about this: In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular!
The autumnal equinox is upon us, and virtually every tribe and religion has a harvest festival of some kind to thank God, the Gods and/or Goddesses, or the other spirits of life and plenty for the past seasons. It is one of the balance points, when day and night are equal, and the year turns toward rest and sleep and death, only to awaken again in spring.
Excerpts from the website Lectionary Bible Notes provides this commentary: “Harvest is one of the most wonderful times of celebration in the church year. Nobody gets killed, there is just unbridled joy at the beauty and providence of creation... At harvest time we thank God, for all of the gifts which have been given to us, and all of the opportunities made available to us from the world and its resources.
“Yet this planet is not ours to do what we want with. It is made by God and we are privileged to have a time here to look after and enjoy it. The expectation is that we will pass it on to our children in a better condition than we found it... No harvest festival service should ever take place without a time of prayer when we think of the shocking conditions prevalent in parts of the world where people die for lack of resources which we routinely throw away.”
The Jewish harvest festival is known as Succoth or the Feast of the Tabernacles. Its purpose is twofold. It has agricultural significance as stated in the Book of Exodus, and in Leviticus, it is also intended as a reminiscence of the type of fragile dwellings in which the Israelites dwelt during their 40 years of travel in the desert after the Exodus from slavery in Egypt.
Throughout the holiday, meals are eaten inside the sukkah, a hut roofed with branches, and many people sleep there as well. Among its symbols are the etrog fruit, which resembles a lemon, and a sheaf of leaves, known as a lulav, made of palm, willow, and myrtle branches. The palm stands for uprightness, the willow stands for humility, and the myrtle stands for faithfulness. Together they stand for brotherhood and peace.
Wiccans celebrate the feast of Mabon, and use a red altar cloth, with fall vegetables, grains, and fruits to symbolize the harvest, and give thanks to the Goddess. It marks an important transition of the year, as plants die, animals hibernate, and the Earth rests in preparation for the cycle of rebirth in spring.
The ancient Chinese observed that the movement of the moon had a close relationship with changes of the seasons and agricultural production. Hence, to express their thanks to the moon and celebrate the harvest, they offered a sacrifice to the moon on autumn days. For the holiday, special sweet “Moon Cakes” are baked and eaten.
In the United States, Thanksgiving was originally held on Oct. 3. In Canada, it is the second Monday in October.
Thanks to all the faiths, paths, and people, the one harvest we all share is gratitude.
Coming up
September is Baby Safety Month, Cholesterol Education Month, Fall Hat Month, International Women's Friendship Month, National Service Dog Month, and Self Improvement Month.
The coming week, Sept. 18 through 23 is the International Week of the Deaf, Deaf Dog Awareness Week, Sea Otter Awareness Week, Remember to Register to Vote Week, International Air Ambulance Week, National Clean Hands Week, and National Farm & Ranch Safety and Health Week.
National Ceiling Fan Day, and Wife Appreciation Day are on Sept. 18. The 19th is Talk Like A Pirate Day. The Autumnal Equinox is Sept. 22 at 10:21 a.m. EDT, as well as Hobbit Day, and Ice Cream Cone Day. Checkers Day or Dogs in Politics Day is the 23rd. The 24th is International Lace Day, and International Rabbit Day.
A trip is planned to the Festival of Nations in Albany on Sunday, Oct. 23. Cost (including transportation) is a whopping $4. Enjoy foods, dances, and crafts from many countries. Sign up at the senior center, or call Phyllis at 872-9370.
There will be a presentation titled “Understanding Medicare Open Enrollment and the Elderly Pharmaceutical Insurance Coverage (EPIC) Program” on Wednesday, Oct. 5 at the Carondelet Hospitality Center in Latham from 9 a.m. to noon. The program is free, but you must register in advance. Call the Albany Guardian Society at 269-3976.
Lunches have started up again at the Westerlo Reformed Church, on Route 143 in the village, on the fourth Thursday of each month.
There will be a basket-weaving class at the Knox town hall on Monday, Sept. 26. Call Pat Lightbody at 872-9400 for more information.
Menu
We are also grateful for the harvest of lunches that will be served next week at the Helderberg Senior Center. Come swap tales with friends, and enjoy a lunch that you don’t have to cook. Doors open at 11 a.m., and lunch is served promptly at noon.
— Monday, Sept. 19, spaghetti with meatballs, romaine salad, wheat bread, fruit salad, and milk;
— Tuesday, Sept. 20, chicken cacciatore, broccoli, egg noodles, wheat bread, Mandarin oranges, and milk; and
— Friday, Sept. 23, turkey tetrazzini with peas, Brussels sprouts, wheat bread, vanilla pudding with whipped topping, and milk.
Please call Linda Hodges 24 hours in advance to 872-0940 to reserve lunch, or email her at: , or sign up when you come in. Tell us how many are coming, your name, and your telephone number. If you’d just like to come and help out, give Mary Moller a call at 861-6253, or email her at , and put “volunteer” in the subject line.
Lunches are provided by Helderberg Senior Services, the Albany County Department of Aging, and Senior Services of Albany. The Town of Berne Community and Senior Services Center is located at 1360 Helderberg Trail (Route 443) in Berne.
I know that advertisers have a lot of leeway in what they say, and some go over the line with their claims, but how dumb do they think we are? I was watching television (probably my first error), and a commercial came on for cat and dog food featuring “Real Ingredients!”
Excuse me?
Since an ingredient is defined as “something that enters as an element into a mixture,” or “a constituent element of anything,” then do they mean that the dog food is not imaginary? What is a “real” ingredient, anyway?
If real means genuine, and not fictitious, then the manufacturer is saying that there is actually a mixture of sincere, existing things in that bag. Did the manufacturer think that we needed to be reassured that we were not purchasing an empty bag?
If an ingredient is a component, and real means genuine, then the manufacturer is saying that we can be assured that genuine something went into that food. Like what? Old boots? Iron filings? Sewer water?
But please notice, the company is in perfect compliance with the law; at no time did it say anything that was untrue. Nonsense, yes, but never untrue.
And while we are on the topic of absurdity, how about “natural”? We all know what is being implied: It is that gentle, honest, healthy world and lifestyle under the benevolent care of Mother Nature.
The only small problem is that Mother Nature is a lot more like “Mommy Dearest”; it is all explained in an amusing, informative, but disturbing book titled “Mother Nature is Trying to Kill You,” by Dan Riskin, Ph.D., who is the host of Animal Planet’s show, “Monsters Inside Me.”
At this point in time, if a lion lies down with a lamb, the lamb is lunch. Nature can lie, cheat, and steal with the worst of us. Some male cuttlefish go “in drag” by changing their colors so they look like females to avoid attack by other male cuttlefish.
The Loggerhead shrike puts its kills (or parts of them) on barbed-wire fences to scare off intruders, rather like Vlad the Impaler or dark ages monarchs putting their enemy’s head on spikes. Hyenas steal kills from cheetahs, and lions steal from anybody they can.
It’s really about survival, both long- and short-term. Each creature does whatever it has to, to keep itself and its progeny alive. A new alpha male in a group is seldom nurturing. Everybody and everything gets one-upped by somebody else, from bacteria to brachiopods.
The closest thing to kindness is practiced by an unlikely candidate, the vampire bat. Bats will feed each other if one has had an unproductive night, but they expect the recipient to return the favor when called upon.
Many plants are poisonous; it’s self-defense. A lovely tea of poppies and poison ivy is certainly natural, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Many reptiles and amphibians have venom, and insects can sting. (Scorpions are arachnids, and they and their spider cousins can do a lot of damage, too.) Flowers look and smell nice to attract pollinators.
Nature isn’t evil; it’s an ecosystem. In an ecosystem, some things survive, and others do not, often as a result of changing conditions. Tornadoes and copperheads are as much a part of nature as bunny rabbits and sunshine.
So, while Nature may be “natural,” I’m not reassured when it’s touted by some curvaceous babe or slicked-down gent as the reason I should buy what they are selling. ’Nuff said.
Coming up
Hopefully, nothing will bite you if you join the seniors on one or more of their upcoming trips. The Hilltown Seniors will be going to the 9/11 memorial in New York City on Wednesday, September 14th. Cost is $65, and no refunds. Call Linda Carman at 872-2448 to sign up.
Hilltown Seniors will also be joining an L&S Journeys trip to Amish country on October 5th and 6th. The trip includes an overnight stay, an Amish dinner, visits to Amish sites, and a buffet lunch at a popular restaurant, gift shop, and farmers’ market. Costs vary depending on motel needs (single, double, etc), and range from $220 for a member triple room to $305 for a non-member double. Call Shirley Slingerland at 707-3467 for info and reservations. Shirley is also taking reservations for an Octoberfest visit to the Log Cabin in Holyoke, MA, on October 18th. Cost is $55 for members, and $65 for others.
September is Children’s Good Manners Month, National Guide Dogs Month, International Square Dancing Month, and National Honey Month. This week (Sept. 4-10) includes Popcorn Days and National North West Cider Week. Be Late For Something Day and Labor Day are on the 5th. Grandma Moses Day, National Attention Deficit Disorder Awareness Day, and Salami Day are the 6th. International Literacy Day is the 8th, and the 9th has been designated Wonderful Weirdos Day, Banana Day, and Stand Up To Cancer Day.
Whatever days you choose to celebrate, come join us for lunch this week. Swap tales with friends, and enjoy a lunch that you don’t have to cook.
Menu
No lunch will be served on Monday, Labor Day. Lunch at the Senior Center for next week will be:
— Tuesday, Sept. 6, meatloaf with tomato gravy, garlic mashed potatoes, spinach, rye bread, milk, and birthday cake for a monthly celebration; and
— Friday, Sept. 9, baked fish with tomato, mushroom, and peppers, roasted summer squash, rice, wheat roll, tapioca pudding with whipped topping, and milk.
Doors open at 11 a.m., and lunch is served promptly at noon. Remember, no lunch on Labor Day, Sept. 5. We also have games, dominoes, and cards after lunch most days.
Please call Linda Hodges 24 hours in advance to 872-0940 to reserve lunch, or email her at: , or sign up when you come in. Tell us how many are coming, your name, and your telephone number. If you’d just like to come and help out, give Mary Moller a call at 861-6253, or email her at , and put “volunteer” in the subject line.
Lunches are provided by Helderberg Senior Services, the Albany County Department of Aging, and Senior Services of Albany. The Town of Berne Community and Senior Services Center is located at 1360 Helderberg Trail (State Route 443) in Berne.
Several decades ago, some friends of mine started a business called the Acme Worry Service. The idea was that you could hire them to do all your worrying.
Membership entitled you to a nifty membership card (genuine plastic!) And an unlimited number of worries that you could turn over to their highly-trained staff.
Concerned about the mortgage? Your love life? An upcoming interview? Give it to Acme, and they would worry about it for you. Finito!
You could then go on with your life, secure in the knowledge that all your worries were getting the attention they deserved. It gave you permission to go ahead and live your life unburdened by all those things that kept you from focusing, or doing a good job with all the tasks at hand.
I love it! Because, as we all know, worrying doesn’t change a thing; it only makes us nervous and miserable. What will happen, will happen, regardless of our misery or the amount of time we waste thinking about it.
Of course, there are things we can influence and control, but they are comparatively few, and generally involve some definitive action on our part. Worry is not action; it’s putting the car in neutral, stepping on the brake, and racing the engine.
So why do we spend so much time in that giant hamster wheel? Somewhere along the line we have come to believe that worrying is the responsible thing to do. If someone is not worried about the state of the world, we conclude that they are irresponsible, immature, or selfish.
It’s as though we assume that worry is the necessary precursor to action, and that somehow, if we can’t or don’t act, worrying is an acceptable substitute. Did you ever bring homework on the weekend, do nothing with it, and then say, “Yeah, but at least I thought about it?”
Perhaps it goes back to those ancient arguments over whether thoughts are the same as actions. You know; if you think about punching your neighbor in the nose, you are just as guilty as if you had done it.
I personally do not subscribe to that philosophy; I find that thinking about something is often a good way to bleed off a lot of the anger and frustration that might otherwise have turned into unfortunate action.
I once bought a book titled “Spite, Malice, and Revenge.” It’s an awful book; it consists of pages and pages of nasty, underhanded, and possibly criminal things you can do to someone who has somehow displeased you. I never actually read it, but it makes me feel better that, if I really wanted to cause upset and trouble, I could. Believing that I could is enough, so I never have to go any further.
Another way of looking at it was posted on the wall of a retreat center I visited. It said, “If you have so many problems that you can’t sleep, give them to God. He’s going to be up all night anyways.”
Coming events
Regardless, there are no worries about what to do for the senior community; there are trips to take, holidays to celebrate, and lunches to eat for all of us.
August is Happiness Happens Month, Boomers Making A Difference Month, and National Panini Month. This week is Be Kind To Humankind Week, and the 28th is Pony Express Day, Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day (I have no clue), and Go Topless Day. The 30th is International Cabernet Sauvignon Day, International Whale Shark Day, and National Toasted Marshmallow Day.
September is Library Card Sign-up Month, AKC Responsible Dog Ownership Month, and All American Breakfast Month. Aug. 1 is Building and Code Staff Appreciation Day and Random Acts of Kindness Day. Aug. 2 is V-J Day, Cow Chip Throwing Day, and National Lazy Mom's Day.
The Hilltown Seniors have a bus trip to the 9/11 memorial in New York City on Wednesday, Sept. 14. The cost is $65, and no refunds. Call Linda Carman at 872-2448 to sign up.
Hilltown Seniors will be joining a planned L&S Journeys trip to Amish country on Oct. 5 and 6. Trip includes an overnight stay, Amish dinner, visits to Amish sites, and a buffet lunch at a popular restaurant, gift shop, and farmers’ market. Costs vary depending on motel needs (single, double, etc.), and range from $220 for a member triple room to $305 for a non-member double. Call Shirley Slingerland at 707-3467 for info and reservations.
Shirley is also taking reservations for an Octoberfest visit to the Log Cabin in Holyoke, MA, on Oct. 18. Cost is $55 for members, and $65 for others.
Menu
Lunch at the Senior Center for next week will be:
— Monday, Aug. 29, chicken Parmesan, spaghetti, Romaine salad, wheat bread, citrus ambrosia with whipped cream, and milk;
— Tuesday, Aug. 30, chicken Parmesan, spaghetti, Romaine salad, wheat bread, citrus ambrosia with whipped cream, and milk; and
— Friday, Sept. 2, baked ziti with cheese, Italian vegetable blend, wheat roll, applesauce, and milk.
Doors open at 11 a.m., and lunch is served promptly at noon. Remember, no lunch on Labor Day, Sept. 5. We also have games, dominoes, and cards after lunch most days.
Please call Linda Hodges 24 hours in advance to 872-0940 to reserve lunch, or email her at: , or sign up when you come in. Tell us how many are coming, your name, and your telephone number. If you’d just like to come and help out, give Mary Moller a call at 861-6253, or email her at , and put “volunteer” in the subject line.
Lunches are provided by Helderberg Senior Services, the Albany County Department of Aging, and Senior Services of Albany. The Town of Berne Community and Senior Services Center is located at 1360 Helderberg Trail (State Route 443) in Berne.
Location:
When it rains, it pours. But we did so badly need the rain.
Just as long as it doesn't rain on the Altamont Fair. I remember, as kids, we only went on the fair Tuesday or Thursday because that's when they gave the bikes away. So we were really concerned about the weather. The last week of school we would address envelopes and wait all summer for our fair tickets
Last year, we went to the fair on Wednesday, Senior Day. I know it’s not the same as when we grew up, but maybe it’s because we see things differently. When we were kids, we went to the fair and spent the whole day and night. We walked a million times around the fairgrounds. Of course the nights were better; that's when all our friends would come.
Later on in life, we went at night and sat at the St. Lucy's restaurant and talked with the Orsinis and old friends walking by. It was like once a year we renewed old friendships. We would talk about the car and horse races (we didn't have pig races), the wonderful craft buildings, and the 4-H groups.
The guy in the back of the truck would try to sell us things. And the man with his monkey was there. We would see our Aunt Lena selling sloppy joes from the VFW tent. They were homemade and not from the can. And the Altamont Fair french fries — mmmmm. When we go someplace and they have those fries, we always say, "Altamont Fair French fries."
People think we are crazy.
Like I said, we went last year and we did not walk around the fair but once. We saw some friends, ate some food (no more good fries), and got some fried dough.
But the kids still enjoy it. I hope they will also have fond memories. Wednesday is free for seniors again this year, so cross your fingers that it doesn't rain
Trips ahead
We are still looking for people to go to New York City to see the 9/11 site with us. The cost is $65 for non-members and $45 for members. We’ll eat dinner on the way home at an Olive Garden. We will be leaving the Berne Senior Center at 7 a.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 14, and leaving New York City at 3 p.m.
We are also going to Turning Stone on Monday, Aug. 15, which is Senior Day. We will leave the Berne Senior Center at 9 a.m. and leave the casino at 5 p.m. The cost is $30, which is returned to you in coupons.
For both trips, call me at 872-2448.
Good fellowship
Well, at this week’s meeting it didn't rain, but it was hot and humid. We had the fans going, but it was not enough. We looks like drowned rats when we left to go home.
But the fellowship was good and the food hit the spot. We had 62 seniors present. More memories were shared about school days. Next month is remembering Christmas.
We approved giving the Helderberg Rescue Squad a donation of $100. The squad shows up every month to take blood pressures and we really appreciate this service.
The town has new rules for using the center that we went over. Some corrections need to be brought up regarding our use of the center and use of property.
Coming up
Community events coming up, all on Aug. 27, are:
— Berne Reformed Church is having a tag sale starting at 9 a.m. and lunch;
— Helderberg Church is holding a breakfast from 8 to 11 a.m.; and
— The town of Berne is having its Summerfest at the town park from noon until fireworks.
So, ladies if you plan this right, you won't have to cook all day.
Remember
Let your smile change the world, but don't let the world change your smile. Amen!
What do normal people wonder about? I wonder about things like: What is the difference between a foil and an epee? Why learn to use a foil if it always has a flat tip? What good does it do you? Maybe it’s like people who do “catch and release” fishing; you spend all that time learning to cast, troll, tie flies, and whatever, and then never even get a fish sandwich out of it.
I suppose, under the same rules, you could chide me for reading fiction. It’s not terribly useful, but that’s why I was wondering about epees. See, in this spy novel, the heroine has studied fencing in college, so when the bad guy attacked her in her storage unit, she grabbed one of her old foils and trounced him, except that it was a lot harder because foils don’t have pointed tips.
It’s the same with trebuchets; are they the same thing as a catapult, or just “catapult” in French? I was perusing my copy of “The Hungry Scientists Handbook,” which has a chapter on making marshmallow ammunition. The instructions for making the marshmallows were very precise, but, when it came to the launch, they inserted a picture of a medieval throwing machine called a trebuchet. It looked just like a catapult to me, so what’s the difference? And now that I have all those marshmallows, what do I do with them?
I could always look it up in my Oxford English Dictionary, (known to its fans as the “OED”) which is one of my most prized possessions. The only trouble is, the entire set runs to somewhere between 14 and 20 volumes (yes, volumes), and costs about the same as a new Mercedes (OK, I’m exaggerating. You could probably get one for the price of a Corolla).
Unfortunately, I didn’t have that kind of walking around money, so I bought the “condensed” version. This is a single volume about the size of six bars of gold bullion, and weighs about the same amount. It is printed in microfiche, with nine pages shrunk down to fit on one 10-by-14 page.
Obviously, it is impossible to read, so the publisher thoughtfully includes a 10-power magnifier with the book. This is fine, except that the magnifier is round on the top, and only about three inches in diameter, which means you can read about four words at a time, because the fish-eye effect makes all the other words slide out of shape like a fun-house mirror.
So why don’t I just get a larger magnifying glass, you ask? Because they don’t make them! You can buy entire sheet-sized magnifiers, except that they are all two or three power, which is no help at all. If you go looking for 10 power and higher, you start getting ads for microscopes, and there’s no way you’re going to get that book under a lens smaller than the one at Mount Palomar.
Wait a minute! Maybe if I call the Corning Glass factory, which made the Palomar lens, they could come up with something, except I’m afraid that it would cost more than a full set of the dictionary. This makes using it almost more trouble than it’s worth, except the OED is the only place that you will get an answer of sufficient detail. So where was I? Oh, yes, foils and trebuchets.
Of course, that’s just today’s questions. I still need to look up “Greek fire” and the difference between centrifugal and centripetal force; I used to know that.
(’Scuse me, I just had to go look it up: Catapults are any device that throws an object, although it commonly refers to the medieval siege weapon. Trebuchets are a type of catapult, using gravity, with a counterweight or traction, to propel the arm.) Don’t you feel better now?
Coming up
The Hilltown Seniors met last Saturday at the senior center, and a good time was had by all. They meet the second Saturday of every month for discussions, birthday and anniversary congratulations, and signups for their ever-popular trips.
Upcoming this week on Thursday is a trip to the Bear Pond Winery and Fly Creek Cider Mill. The cost is $20 for members and $30 for non-members. There are still a couple of seats left, so call Shirley Slingerland at 797-3467 to snag your spot.
The next trip on the agenda is to New York City on Sept. 14 to visit the 9/11 Memorial. Admission to the memorial is free for all veterans. Call Linda Carman at 872-2448 to reserve; cost is $65 for members.
Coming next month is an Octoberfest food and fun event on Oct. 18 at the Log Cabin in Holyoke, Mass., which costs $55 for members, and $75 for non-members. Call Shirley at 797-3467 for more information.
Menu
All of this has nothing to do with lunch, unless you’re planning a food fight using your catapult, which you don’t want to do this week because the menu is really impressive:
— Monday, Aug. 22, lasagna roll-up with marinara sauce, cauliflower, wheat roll, fruit salad, and milk;
— Tuesday, Aug. 23, orange glazed chicken with orzo, roasted zucchini and tomato, apple juice, rye bread, Tapioca pudding with whipped cream, and milk; and
— Friday, Aug. 26, shrimp scampi over pasta, broccoli, romaine salad, Italian bread, milk, and citrus ambrosia.
After lunch, we have cards, games, and dominoes, so come have some fun along with your food.
Please call Linda Hodges 24 hours in advance to 872-0940 to reserve lunch, or email her at: , or sign up when you come in. Tell us how many are coming, your name, and your telephone number. If you’d just like to come and help out, give Mary Moller a call at 861-6253, or email her at , and put “volunteer” in the subject line.
Lunches are provided by Helderberg Senior Services, the Albany County Department of Aging, and Senior Services of Albany. The Town of Berne Community and Senior Services Center is located at 1360 Helderberg Trail (Route 443) in Berne.
I’ve had it with the food channels. In the early days, television stations would occasionally have a cooking show, where someone who looked like your Aunt Frieda would make a delicious pork roast in a Dutch oven, accompanied by crispy potatoes and green beans.
They would run the recipe on the screen, and actually give you time to copy it down. If you had arthritis, or double vision, you could call the station and they would send you all the recipes from today’s show. For free.
Now, there are the food channels, where you get to watch people tying minuscule strips of scallion into butterflies to garnish a dish made of owl’s ears with truffle butter. I am not impressed. Have you looked at the price of owl’s ears lately?
Oh, no, you say, they also have real cooking shows, where some hyperactive bipolar woman on the up side of the manic scale demonstrates how you can make a 14-course meal in 22-and-one-half minutes (allowing for commercials). Of course, they don’t show you the crew of eight underpaid sous-chefs who have been in that kitchen since 4:30 a.m. the previous morning slicing, dicing, and carving baby carrots into swans.
And do you know anyone who owns 34 tiny, unbreakable glass bowls to hold all those quarter-teaspoons of coriander? And what is fenugreek, anyways?
Then there are what I refer to as the show-off shows, where two, or 13, amateur chefs make wallaby-citrus cupcakes frosted with an entire Nativity scene carved out of walnuts, and decorated with spun-sugar angels. Really! Do these people have lives, or do they just spend their days in subterranean kitchens reading the “Encyclopedia Culinaria” in the original middle Italian?
Then there are the “gross-out” shows, where people are shown trying to eat five-pound hamburgers in Duluth (or was that Kalamazoo?) just so they can get their pictures on the wall of gluttony maintained conveniently near the restroom. Or chowing down on fermented yak meat that has been soaked for four days in goat urine (“it gives it a piquancy that is difficult to describe…”).
Not for me! Bring back Betty Crocker, or even Justin Wilson from the Louisiana swamps. People who cook with real pans, using pronounceable ingredients, and who do not want you to purchase the entire 12-volume set (updated annually) of every recipe every research assistant has been able to find on the internet. Besides, I already own three bookcases of cookbooks so, if you need a recipe for grilled guinea pig, just call me.
Coming up
August is American Adventures Month, National Read A Romance Month, Get Ready for Kindergarten Month, National Truancy Prevention Month (do I notice a trend here?), and World Mutt-i-grees Rescue Month. The week of the Aug. 14 through 20 is National Motorcycle Week, National Chef's Appreciation Week, and National Aviation Week (the week of Orville Wright's Birthday on 19th). V-J Day is the 14th, as is National Navajo Code Talkers Day.
Aug. 15 is National Relaxation Day, and the 16th is National Roller Coaster Day. Black Cat Appreciation Day is the 17th, along with National Medical Dosimetrist Day. The 20th is World Honey Bee Day, International Tongue Twister Day, and National Radio Day. Enjoy!
Free bus to the fair
There will be a free bus to the Altamont Fair on Wednesday, Aug. 17, which is Senior Citizens Day at the Fair. All we seniors get in for free.
The bus will leave the Berne Community and Senior Services Center at 9:30 a.m., stop off at the Knox town hall to pick up our neighbors, and then go on the fair. It will return at 2:30 p.m. to pick us up, and take us back the way we came.
Bring a lunch, or enjoy some of the delicious food at the fair (I’m partial to those sausage sandwiches with peppers and onions).
Menu
Now, however, we have some actual, real, tasty and recognizable food at the senior lunch program. There are also dominoes, games, and useful programs from time to time.
— Monday, Aug. 15, chicken and vegetables with biscuit, beets with dill, pineapple, and milk;
— Tuesday, Aug. 16, macaroni and cheese, stewed tomatoes, California blend vegetables, wheat bread, apricots, and milk; and
— Friday, Aug. 19, lemon garlic fish, baked sweet potatoes, spinach, wheat bread, and rice pudding with whipped cream.
Please call Linda Hodges 24 hours in advance to 872-0940 to reserve lunch, or email her at: , or sign up when you come in. Tell us how many are coming, your name, and your telephone number. If you’d just like to come and help out, give Mary Moller a call at 861-6253, or email her at , and put “volunteer” in the subject line.
Lunches are provided by Helderberg Senior Services, the Albany County Department of Aging, and Senior Services of Albany. The Town of Berne Community and Senior Services Center is located at 1360 Helderberg Trail (Route 443) in Berne.
What did your grandmother’s parlor smell like? Got it? You are instantly back in that room, and you can even see what color the upholstery is on the settee. (It was blue, right?) Mine always smelled like those little round pastel mints that came in spearmint and wintergreen.
Odors can bring back emotional images, feelings, and experiences. A number of behavioral studies have demonstrated that smells trigger more vivid memories, and are better than pictures at inducing that feeling of “being brought back in time.”
Odor memories have been described as stronger than memories evoked by words. Most odor-cued memories are tied to the first 10 years of life, whereas memories associated with verbal and visual cues peak in the teenage years. The sense of smell is functional at birth.
The power of odors to trigger the memory of experiences has been called the “Proust phenomenon,” because the writer Marcel Proust described the flavor of a madeleine cake dipped into a cup of tea that caused him to recall an old upsetting memory.
We may choose not to look at something, but unless we hold our breath we will still be affected by the scent associated with events. Olfactory, or odor, memories can be unpleasant as well as pleasurable. They can forcefully bring back traumatic events like a car crash, or battle smells for a soldier with post-traumatic stress disorder. This type of learning helped our early ancestors avoid those threatening situations in the future.
There is also some evidence that suggests that what you think you’re smelling affects your response to an odor. An identical odor may seem more pleasant when it is given a positive association or label (like Parmesan cheese) rather than a negative label (stomach flu).
Biologically, the olfactory bulb receives the sensory information from our nose and mouth. It is part of the brain's limbic system, an area so closely associated with memory and feeling it’s sometimes called the “emotional brain.” The olfactory bulb has access to the amygdala, which processes emotion, and the hippocampus, which is responsible for associative learning.
Despite the tight wiring, however, smells would not trigger memories if it weren't for conditioned responses. When you first smell a new scent, you link it to an event, a person, a thing, or even a moment. Your brain creates a link between the smell and the memory. When you encounter the smell again, the link is already there to evoke the same reaction.
Scent marketing is one of the newer advertising tricks. These scents are subtle, and almost imperceptible to the unwitting sniffer.
In 2006, the California Milk Processor Board tried a scent advertising campaign to go along with its “Got Milk?” slogan. The city of San Francisco received so many complaints that it called for an immediate removal of the cookie-scented add-ons.
Real-estate agents set out fresh bread or cookies to make a house seem welcoming. The scent industry now produces sprays and other artificial scent-producers to create the same impressions. Hotels, stores and car dealers are turning to customized scents to help set a mood and create an impression.
You can even try your hand at sharing some of your own scent memories. California artist Brian Goeltzenleuchter has initiated the Olfactory Memoirs participatory art project.
In cooperation with San Diego Writers Ink, creative writing workshops are held in which participants think of a scent from childhood and then write a memory piece to describe it. Brian says he began it because he has always been interested in other people’s passions, their stories, and the things they collect.
He is quoted by Emily Grosvenor in Perfume Week as saying, “Scent is wondrous. It represents, but not in the way an image or a sound represents. The volatile molecules of an odor change over time, which give it a temporal dimension. And, of course, the fact that it is the only sense that directly interfaces with our central system means that it’s the only sense in which emotion precedes cognition.”
Olfactory recollections are much less linear than written narratives, and can bypass the sort of editing we do when recounting stories about ourselves in a logical order. Sense memory is more like a collage.
Brian’s project will eventually result in a presentation by some of the writers, where their stories will be accompanied by an ingeniously engineered release of scents. Brian has been working with artist and engineer Dave Ghilarducci to design a scent keyboard to disperse scents over an audience using a computer. If you’d like to contribute an olfactory memoir to the project, go to www.olfactorymemoirs.com
Coming up
Moving right along, August is American Artists Appreciation Month, National Catfish Month, National Goat Cheese Month, and Shop Online For Groceries Month. The week of Aug. 7 to 13 is Assistance Dog Week, National Farmers' Market Week, National Fraud Awareness Week, and Elvis Week.
Aug. 7 is Lighthouse Day and National Doll Day; the eighth is International Cat Day, and Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night. Paul Bunyan Day is the 10th. The 12th is Kool-Aid Day, Vinyl Record Day, and World Elephant Day. The week ends with National Garage Sale Day on Aug. 13.
Don’t forget the Hilltown Seniors meeting on Saturday, Aug. 13, at the Berne senior and community center. The meeting begins at 10:30 a.m., and lunch is served at noon.
Menu
To create some of your own new olfactory memories, join the hungry guests at the Helderberg senior lunch program. Enjoy a hot lunch, good friends, great discussions, and dominoes and other games afterwards.
— Monday, Aug. 8, spaghetti with meat sauce, Romaine salad, wheat roll, fruit salad, and milk;
— Tuesday, Aug. 9, chicken cacciatore, rice, broccoli, wheat bread, Mandarin oranges, and milk; and
— Friday, Aug. 12, turkey tetrazzini with peas and spaghetti, Brussels sprouts, melon, wheat bread, vanilla pudding, and milk.
Please call Linda Hodges 24 hours in advance to 872-0940 to reserve lunch, or email her at: , or sign up when you come in. Tell us how many are coming, your name, and your telephone number. If you’d just like to come and help out, give Mary Moller a call at 861-6253, or email her at , and put “volunteer” in the subject line.
Lunches are provided by Helderberg Senior Services, the Albany County Department of Aging, and Senior Services of Albany. The town of Berne senior and community center is located at 1360 Helderberg Trail (Route 443) in Berne.
Do not let your senior dog drive the car — at least not at night. His night vision decreases as he ages, and he can’t see as well as he used to. Animals age along with their human companions, and, like humans, certain changes occur that we should all be aware of.
According to Dr. Holly Cheever, of the Village Animal Clinic in Voorheesville, there are some strong similarities as well as some significant differences between them and us. In mammals like cats and dogs, they begin to go gray around the muzzle. Dogs especially are prone to developing spinal arthritis, sway backs, and bowed legs. Cats may sleep more, not that you will necessarily notice, since they already sleep up to 18 hours a day.
Genetics plays a part as well, although we are talking about thousands of years, not just parental lifespans. Fido’s ancestors were medium-sized, like coyotes and wolves.
Because their genes are “plastic,” and more adaptable to change, they can more easily be bred for certain traits. The average lifespan of a medium-sized dog is around 15 to 16 years; very large breeds a bit shorter, as in nine to 11 years. Little dogs may live 13 to 15 years.
All this genetic plasticity is what has allowed humans to breed all those specific “show dog” characteristics, sometimes to the detriment of the dog. The distinctive face of the pug or bulldog can make it harder for them to breathe, because their respiratory system has been smushed up like an accordion. (That was my word, not Dr. Cheever’s.)
Less efficient breathing can shorten lifespan, so show pugs and Pekingese have more trouble delivering pups, and have more difficulty eating because of the changes in their teeth brought about by selective breeding. As a result, they may not live as long, thanks to humans ideas of beauty. It reminds me of ancient Chinese foot-binding, although mercifully that never became an inherited trait.
In these summer months, hydration is even more important for dogs than for people. Dogs can’t sweat, and sweating is one of the mechanisms humans use to cool down.
Dogs can only pant, so more heat builds up more quickly. You’ve heard this before, and I’m going to say it again: Do not leave the dog in the car, even with the windows cracked! Heat will kill them faster than it would a person, so the five minutes that we might tolerate with some discomfort can be fatal to a dog or cat.
If you see an animal suffering in a hot car, call the police. Breaking windows is against the law, and may have unpleasant consequences, although your choice of action is up to you.
If your pet becomes overheated, try sponging its ears with lukewarm-to-cool water. Put it in a tub of lukewarm water if necessary, but do not use cold or ice water; the shock is too great, and shuts down peripheral circulation as the blood vessels contract. It could also cause a stroke or something worse. If their temperature is over 104 degrees Fahrenheit, get to the vet immediately!
Proper nutrition is also important, and obesity is something that our human society shares with our pets. Dogs are omnivores, which means that they can eat meat, grains, and plant material. It is possible to feed a dog a vegetarian diet, but can be difficult to balance proteins and carbohydrates properly. The ads are right that the first ingredient should be plain meat, poultry, or fish, but “grain free” is not as critical. Natural ingredients and nutritional balance is the key.
Cats are another matter entirely. Cats are “obligate carnivores,” which means that they need meat as their primary source of nutrition. They cannot digest carbohydrates the way dogs can. Dry cat food has more carbs than wet food, so wet food twice a day is better than leaving a bowl of dry food out for all-day snacking (imagine an endless bowl of of potato chips on the counter).
Obesity is even worse for cats than it is for humans and dogs. Even “grain free” cat food still contains carbohydrates. And, while we’re on the subject, watch out for all those wet foods aimed at people, not pets.
“Gravy,” if you will recall, is fat, starch, and broth — tasty, but not very nutritious. Kitty will slurp it up like soda pop, and then leave the nutrition-dense meat bites in the bowl. Get the “pate” food, which is at least thoroughly mixed. Obesity makes it difficult to impossible to groom, and how long would you like to go without bathing?
Regular checkups can be more important for pets than people. People whine, and complain, and yell when they hurt; animals don’t. They are closer to the wild than we are, and letting on that you are sick, or weak, gets you killed, not helped.
They can’t tell us how much they hurt, and, the worse it is, the more they will try to hide it; it’s instinctual. Get some bloodwork done from time to time, just so the vet has a baseline for comparison if Fluffy or Fred is unwell.
And when it’s time for them to go on to their next adventure, let them go. They are trapped in that body with no way to ask for help or release. They trust us, and it’s our responsibility to do what’s best for them. Hanging on too long is selfish and cruel; I’ve been there, and I was wrong. It hurts like hell, but that’s why we are the grownups.
Rabbits, ferrets, and even bearded dragons (lizards) need care, too, and require some attention to detail. All pets will live longer indoors than out; sufficient heat, and water, and a safe place to sleep should be their right.
The little furry guys really should have bedding that’s low in dust and aromatics. Ditch the cedar and and try something like “Care Fresh” made of recycled wood fiber instead.
Too much alfalfa can cause bladder stones. Rabbits are prone to tooth problems and abscesses; they also have a very different elimination system, and can re-absorb important nutrients by eating things that we might prefer not to. It’s called coprophagia, and makes a certain degree of nutritional sense in spite of our reaction to the habit.
Environment is key, and that includes temperature, moisture, water, the right food, affection, and us using our larger brains to assure that our friends get what is really best for them, which may not be what we think we would like.
Thanks to Dr. Holly, the Village Animal Clinic, and all the other vets, rescuers, foster “parents,” and workers who care for our companions and for us.
Coming up
Speaking of nutrition, we have the menu for the Helderberg senior lunch next week, and a few interesting holidays to celebrate.
July is the beginning of Dog Days (July 3 to Aug. 11), Hemochromatosis Screening Awareness Month, National Hot Dog Month, as well as Smart Irrigation Month and Social Wellness Month.
The week of the July 23 to 30 is the World Lumberjack Championships, and Single Working Women's Week is July 31 to Aug. 6. National Tequila Day and National Drive-Thru Day are the 24th (margaritas to go, perhaps?) , Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day and Walk on Stilts Day is the 27th, and the 30th is Cheesecake Day, Father-In-Law Day, Paperback Book Day, and the International Day of Friendship.
Menu
— Monday, Aug. 1, barbecue chicken, spinach, mashed sweet potato, wheat bread, and chocolate pudding and whipped cream;
— Tuesday, Aug. 2, roast pork with gravy, mashed potatoes, carrots, stuffing, fresh pear, and birthday cake; and
— Friday, Aug. 5, ham and bean casserole, spinach, corn bread, and pineapple.
Please call Linda Hodges 24 hours in advance to 872-0940 to reserve lunch, or email her at: , or sign up when you come in. Tell us how many are coming, your name, and your telephone number. If you’d just like to come and help out, give Mary Moller a call at 861-6253, or email her at , and put “volunteer” in the subject line.
Lunches are provided by Helderberg Senior Services, the Albany County Department of Aging, and Senior Services of Albany. The town of Berne Senior and Community Center is located at 1360 Helderberg Trail (Route 443) in Berne.