Hilltowns Senior News for Friday, August 19, 2016
What do normal people wonder about? I wonder about things like: What is the difference between a foil and an epee? Why learn to use a foil if it always has a flat tip? What good does it do you? Maybe it’s like people who do “catch and release” fishing; you spend all that time learning to cast, troll, tie flies, and whatever, and then never even get a fish sandwich out of it.
I suppose, under the same rules, you could chide me for reading fiction. It’s not terribly useful, but that’s why I was wondering about epees. See, in this spy novel, the heroine has studied fencing in college, so when the bad guy attacked her in her storage unit, she grabbed one of her old foils and trounced him, except that it was a lot harder because foils don’t have pointed tips.
It’s the same with trebuchets; are they the same thing as a catapult, or just “catapult” in French? I was perusing my copy of “The Hungry Scientists Handbook,” which has a chapter on making marshmallow ammunition. The instructions for making the marshmallows were very precise, but, when it came to the launch, they inserted a picture of a medieval throwing machine called a trebuchet. It looked just like a catapult to me, so what’s the difference? And now that I have all those marshmallows, what do I do with them?
I could always look it up in my Oxford English Dictionary, (known to its fans as the “OED”) which is one of my most prized possessions. The only trouble is, the entire set runs to somewhere between 14 and 20 volumes (yes, volumes), and costs about the same as a new Mercedes (OK, I’m exaggerating. You could probably get one for the price of a Corolla).
Unfortunately, I didn’t have that kind of walking around money, so I bought the “condensed” version. This is a single volume about the size of six bars of gold bullion, and weighs about the same amount. It is printed in microfiche, with nine pages shrunk down to fit on one 10-by-14 page.
Obviously, it is impossible to read, so the publisher thoughtfully includes a 10-power magnifier with the book. This is fine, except that the magnifier is round on the top, and only about three inches in diameter, which means you can read about four words at a time, because the fish-eye effect makes all the other words slide out of shape like a fun-house mirror.
So why don’t I just get a larger magnifying glass, you ask? Because they don’t make them! You can buy entire sheet-sized magnifiers, except that they are all two or three power, which is no help at all. If you go looking for 10 power and higher, you start getting ads for microscopes, and there’s no way you’re going to get that book under a lens smaller than the one at Mount Palomar.
Wait a minute! Maybe if I call the Corning Glass factory, which made the Palomar lens, they could come up with something, except I’m afraid that it would cost more than a full set of the dictionary. This makes using it almost more trouble than it’s worth, except the OED is the only place that you will get an answer of sufficient detail. So where was I? Oh, yes, foils and trebuchets.
Of course, that’s just today’s questions. I still need to look up “Greek fire” and the difference between centrifugal and centripetal force; I used to know that.
(’Scuse me, I just had to go look it up: Catapults are any device that throws an object, although it commonly refers to the medieval siege weapon. Trebuchets are a type of catapult, using gravity, with a counterweight or traction, to propel the arm.) Don’t you feel better now?
Coming up
The Hilltown Seniors met last Saturday at the senior center, and a good time was had by all. They meet the second Saturday of every month for discussions, birthday and anniversary congratulations, and signups for their ever-popular trips.
Upcoming this week on Thursday is a trip to the Bear Pond Winery and Fly Creek Cider Mill. The cost is $20 for members and $30 for non-members. There are still a couple of seats left, so call Shirley Slingerland at 797-3467 to snag your spot.
The next trip on the agenda is to New York City on Sept. 14 to visit the 9/11 Memorial. Admission to the memorial is free for all veterans. Call Linda Carman at 872-2448 to reserve; cost is $65 for members.
Coming next month is an Octoberfest food and fun event on Oct. 18 at the Log Cabin in Holyoke, Mass., which costs $55 for members, and $75 for non-members. Call Shirley at 797-3467 for more information.
Menu
All of this has nothing to do with lunch, unless you’re planning a food fight using your catapult, which you don’t want to do this week because the menu is really impressive:
— Monday, Aug. 22, lasagna roll-up with marinara sauce, cauliflower, wheat roll, fruit salad, and milk;
— Tuesday, Aug. 23, orange glazed chicken with orzo, roasted zucchini and tomato, apple juice, rye bread, Tapioca pudding with whipped cream, and milk; and
— Friday, Aug. 26, shrimp scampi over pasta, broccoli, romaine salad, Italian bread, milk, and citrus ambrosia.
After lunch, we have cards, games, and dominoes, so come have some fun along with your food.
Please call Linda Hodges 24 hours in advance to 872-0940 to reserve lunch, or email her at: , or sign up when you come in. Tell us how many are coming, your name, and your telephone number. If you’d just like to come and help out, give Mary Moller a call at 861-6253, or email her at , and put “volunteer” in the subject line.
Lunches are provided by Helderberg Senior Services, the Albany County Department of Aging, and Senior Services of Albany. The Town of Berne Community and Senior Services Center is located at 1360 Helderberg Trail (Route 443) in Berne.