Archive » September 2017 » Columns

by Dennis Sullivan

Do you use irony in your conversations? It’s when you say the opposite of what you mean.

For example, on vacation you get to your room at the hotel and look out the window and there, 30 feet from your nose, is a solid brick wall. You say: Oh, look: Another great view of America!

To mask your disappointment — let’s call it that — you say the opposite of what you mean, the literary lexicons say for “humorous or emphatic effect.”  

Anyone hearing you knows you did not get what you wanted or hoped for. You were looking for a scenic view and got industrial brick.  

But I’m betting that understanding the nature and purpose of irony in your life is not on your bucket list as it’s not on the list of many others.

But that’s a poor approach to reality because the pervasiveness of irony in the cultural and social institutions of America today, especially through literature and television, is adversely affecting our efforts to forge a new national identity. We don’t know what people mean.

But I should point out that irony is a two-edged sword in that it can have a freeing function while other times, like now in the United States, it has morphed into a corroding sarcastic cynicism.

In a 1987 essay on the poet John Berryman, Lewis Hyde said, as a tool, “Irony has only emergency use. Carried over time, it is the voice of the trapped who have come to enjoy their cage.” Subscribers are prisoners.

The great American writer of fiction and commanding revolutionary essays, David Foster Wallace (1962-2008) — he took his life besieged by despair — called irony tyrannical and useless “when it comes to constructing anything to replace the hypocrisies it debunks.” It lacks the power to transcend.

He points to postmodern literature’s love affair with irony but especially to television’s “cynical, irreverent, ironic, absurdist” depiction of social situations steeped in condescending mockery.

Wallace says at some point television swallowed irony whole (as well as its kin sarcasm and cynicism) and once it filtered into every channel it trained viewers “to laugh at characters’ unending put-downs of one another, to view ridicule as both the mode of social intercourse and the ultimate art-form.”

Is not the social commentary program of John Oliver (as was the case with his predecessor Jon Stewart) a savaging session?

When sharp-tongued comics Mort Sahl and Lenny Bruce stepped into the arena in the 1950s, they opened the floodgates of a biting criticism that seemed perfect for the post-World War II generation. They skewered the McCarthy-reeking government and any other institution that held people down.

Over the decades, America’s institutions have taken it on the chin so often and in so many ways that an interloper like Donald Trump can come along and call The New York Times and The Washington Post purveyors of “fake news” and the FBI crooked and unreliable in serving the American people, thereby firing up a cadre of torch-bearing cynics.

That supreme generator of scorn is heralded as a savior for shielding the heapers of scorn from scorn. How can those who cherish the values of honesty and sincerity compete?

And the reason scorn, sarcasm, irony, cynicism, and the like remain “so powerful and so unsatisfying,” Wallace says, “is that an ironist is impossible to pin down. All U.S. irony is based on an implicit ‘I don’t really mean what I’m saying.’”

We have to ask ourselves whether it’s possible to get an ironist to say what he means even when someone “with the heretical gall to ask an ironist what he actually stands for,” Wallace notes, “ends up looking like an hysteric or a prig.”

The mouthing-off ironist, whether personal or corporate, sounds on the surface like a rebel but in truth is an oppressive tyrant because attention is drawn away from his needs and the needs of his neighbor, especially the less-well-off. The primary categories of reality are dismissed as fluff.

How would we ever know what anyone’s needs are when people say what they do not mean and what they mean they do not say?

A great part of the furor of the Trump supporter derives not so much from his supposed dissatisfaction with existing social institutions but from being trapped in a scorn-ridden identity that wears upon his being. He might think lashing out is a source of relief but it creates endless exhaustion for the rest of us.

And enough evidence exists that shows that those afflicted with irony-based despair soon begin to conjure up conspiratorial ghost stories laced with facts that do not exist.

Climate-change-deniers will never be convinced of a historical reality until they deal with the corrosive cynicism they suffer from based on needs not being met. And such cynicism is addictive because it provides a certain kind of neural pleasure; when you’re cutting a fellow citizen down, you feel alive.

What happens in the long run, though, is that the imagination is blunted. The tool that allows us to envision a way out of a morass such as irony, cynicism, and related deep-hole-diggers, loses its grounding.

But the imagination is critical because, as the educational philosopher Maxine Greene points out in “Releasing the Imagination,” it is our means “to invent visions of what should be and what might be in our deficient society, on the streets where we live, in our schools.” Transcendence.

It may sound strange but we must start conversing about topics that cynics have long labeled utopian. Take full-coverage-lifetime-health-care as an example. The American cynic says it cannot work even though France and Canada and a host of other nations have provided such care for their citizens for decades. They shame us.

Impractical? Practical? These words pale in comparison to the corrosiveness of cynicism. With it comes to the practical; we have to remind ourselves of what Oscar Wilde said a century ago: “A practical scheme is either a scheme that is already in existence or a scheme that could be carried out under existing conditions. But it is exactly the existing conditions that one objects to; and any scheme that could accept these conditions is wrong and foolish.”

Is it practical to suggest an annual income for every person in the United States of $100,000, students included because they work like the rest of us?

Is it practical to stipulate that anyone who makes over $1 million a year must hand over every dollar above the million-dollar mark to the national treasury? The Congressional Budget Office can figure out the details.

What about the provision of a comfortable abode for everyone? How might such a system work? And this would include home-repair and home-replacement for every U.S. resident done in by a storm, even U.S. citizens in the Virgin Islands.

We must include cynics in our discussions forward but must remind them that the agenda is about needs, the rightful needs of all. This means that cynicism must be checked at the door like they used to do with guns in the Old West.

Location:

Post date: 
September 28, 2017

Print this page

by John R. Williams

If it weren’t for church on Sunday, and The Old Men of the Mountain on Tuesday, this scribe would not know what day of the week it was. So with that reckoning, this scribe knows it was Tuesday, Sept. 19, that The Old Men of the Mountain met at the Chuck Wagon Diner on Route 20 in Princetown.

It would seem to be that only the early arrivers had the opportunity to enjoy the nostalgic feeling with the smells of the early morning, just a slight breeze, and a thin veil of fog filling the air, but this same atmosphere was there even for the late arrivers. Time for the OFs to just stand outside of the diner and take it in. And many OFs did, not even knowing they were doing what they were doing.

Often this time of year takes the farmers of the OMOTM back to mornings like this and walking to the barn and then sliding the barn door back to catch the sounds of the cows as they stir. The stanchions were making their own noise as the cows stood up, and the barn cats were stretching out and jumping from the cows’ backs and scurrying to the turned-over old milk-can covers waiting for their first splash of warm milk.

Those were the days!

The OFs said you did not lock your doors, and people weren’t shooting people in the streets. Where and when did this type of culture come into our society?

One OF said we brought it on ourselves with the eye in the living room called a TV.   According to this OG’s opinion, that’s when this country went to Hell in a handbasket.

“Technology,” the OF said, “for all the good it does, it is also responsible in many ways for all the bad that is going on.”

Another OF thought that it doesn’t make sense to put all the blame in one pot. This scribe thought of the movie, “The Gods Must Be Crazy,” which showed trouble in a close, tight-knit society that basically had no problems until the introduction of a simple Coke bottle. This Coke bottle completely interrupted this society’s social structure. In this movie, there was so much tension, squabbles, and unhappiness the only thing to do was to get rid of the Coke bottle.

Messy geese

This is also the time of year when not only the OFs but many people notice the familiar “V”s of the Canada geese flying south, only many OFs say they don’t go that far south. One OF said they don’t go much further south than Poughkeepsie, or Red Hook, or Wappingers Falls.

Some of the OFs who are OF transplants and once were Long Islanders (although one started out in the hills of Schoharie) said the geese do go a little further down — like Long Island — and are a complete nuisance there.

Wherever these birds decide to camp, they make a mess. One OF said on a golf course on Long Island there is what is known as the “goose poop” trap. So many geese hang out in this particular part of the course that, if you are not a very good golfer and make a short drive off the tee and land short of the poop, you might take another shot over this untidiness.

On the other hand, if some golfers think they are good golfers and plan on shooting over the poop area, you had better be darn good because, if the ball lands in that goose dropping area, that golfer is deep trouble.

Why? Number one, the droppings look like golf balls and therefore it might take half an hour to find it. The other thing that is discouraging is that swinging through all that “stuff,” the club now has to be washed because that “stuff” sprays all over.

Many golfers, if they land in the goose poop trap, take the penalty of taking another whack at the ball, because the final insult is — your shoes are ruined.

Another Island OF said that particular golf course wasn’t the only place the geese have discovered, and he started naming parking lots, and beaches that those flying manure-spreaders made completely unusable. One OF mentioned one of these places brought in dogs to shoo the geese away, but that was only a temporary fix.

Another OF said social status makes no difference. This OF said he was at one of the classiest hotels in the country where the lobby was part museum-part hotel. The OF made it clear he was not staying at the hotel but he was just perusing the museum part.

The OF said there was a beautiful large pond and fountains in the back of the hotel and no one was there. The OF said he took one step outside and saw why. The walkways around the pond were purple with goose droppings; it was almost impossible to pick your way through the field of droppings to get to the venue in the back of the hotel.

Travel talk

As we have mentioned several times, many of the OFs are travelers. This time, the chit chat was about the Grand Canyon and how this scar on the Earth takes one’s breath away. Some said that it was one thing they would like to go back to and enjoy the wonder of these vistas from the scouring of the river below, which created all the colorful rock formations.

The OFs were not too enamored with the cities of Tucson, Mesa, or Phoenix, but Flagstaff was another story. For the temperature to get much over 80 degrees in Flagstaff is unusual; however, in the other three places, 100 degrees is a good starting point.

The OFs say that is too hot. But, as one put it, it is just like anyplace else. It may be possible to get used to weather conditions anywhere — some even like Alaska. Lots of people do like Arizona.

Those OFs who made it to the Chuck Wagon in Princetown, regardless of the weather, were: Dave Williams, Bill Bartholomew, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Marty Herzog, Pete Whitbeck, John Rossmann, Wayne Gaul, Ted Feurer, Jake Hundley, Harold Guest, Roger Shafer, Otis Lawyer, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Mike Willsey, Duane Wagonbaugh, Bob Lassome, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.

Location:

Post date: 
September 28, 2017

Print this page

by Michael Seinberg

 

My wife and I recently went through the semi-traumatic process of replacing a car. We had the car for 13 years, so it was like saying goodbye to a mildly-liked pet that drinks really expensive food and gets sick periodically requiring very expensive trips to the vet.

Ever replaced a fuel pump on your cat? Serious money there.

As we went through the process of research, test driving, and fending off rabid sales pitches, I began to notice something about the new cars we were looking at. They all had varying levels of technology that I found variously to be silly, interesting, intimidating, frightening, and overwhelming.

There’s a lot of talk today about distracted driving and rightly so. But here’s the funny thing: We keep blaming cell phones, makeup, food, and other external factors. Has anyone looked at just how distracting a modern car is, by itself?

Take the “infotainment” systems in today’s cars. They offer everything including a wireless interface with your phone, satellite radio, AM/FM (for nostalgia buffs), CD players (for Luddites), backup cameras, front-facing cameras, navigation systems, and enough driving and environmental information to write a book.

If you ignore that, just the traditional dashboard is enough to make your brain ooze into overload. Our hybrid cars have screens that look more like video games that tell us how we’re doing mpg-wise, how charged the batteries are, what our range is, and whether or not we’re charging when we put on the brakes.

Most cars now tell you your speed and some still sport tachometers to give you a read on the engine RPMs. There are also lights for tire inflation; inside and outside temperature; time; date; time zone; your current blood pressure; stock-market reports; and. of course, a video system to keep the kiddies in the back seat entertained (unless they’re busy staring at their smart phones).

There are buttons everywhere. The driver’s side door on my car has more buttons than my first car had in total. My steering wheel looks more like the control yoke on a fighter jet what with remote buttons for the phone, the stereo, and the environmental controls.

The center console that controls most of the car looks like those desks NASA guys sit at to launch a rocket into orbit and there are sockets strewn around to plug in phones, iPods, iPads, computers, and probably hair dryers, for all I know.

New cars now have fobs, not keys. The fob has multiple buttons to lock, unlock, set off the alarm, start the air conditioner (seriously) 10 minutes before you get in on a hot day, open hatches, close doors, and there’s even a hidden key inside in case you get locked out.

To start the car, the fob simply needs to be with you and you just touch an on/off switch. Oh, and if you lose the fob, it only costs one or two mortgage payments to replace.

The sun shields now sport lighted makeup mirrors and a panel above the rearview mirror has lighting controls and storage for sunglasses as well as controls for sunroofs, moonroofs (not sure what the difference is), and just random buttons that you need an owner’s manual the size of “War and Peace” to figure out.

Our new car has a 600-page main manual plus four or five other smaller ones. It’s like it came with its own version of “Encyclopedia Britannica.”

Even the lowly windshield wiper stalk now has built-in controls for speed, fluid, rear wiper, front wiper, and piano metronome (to make better use of the beat). And let’s not forget seat controls, heated seats, cooled seats, and a joystick plus buttons to control the side-view mirrors.

We won’t even get into the new features such as self-parking, out-of-lane alarms, radar, sonar and an aiming screen for anti-ballistic missiles built into a heads-up display that shines data onto the windshield just like a fighter jet (really, well, maybe not missiles).

In an effort to make cars safer, they’ve now jammed so much technology into them you literally have to take lessons at the dealers in order to get the car home safely and not start a world war just trying to adjust your seat.

I like technology, possibly more than most people in that I make my living through and with technology. But there should be limits. I think maybe car-makers should back off until they’re ready to just give us a true self-driving car. Until then, cut back on all the gizmos and shiny lights and switches and leave all that to the fighter pilots.

If you’re older than 40, think about what your first car was like. Mine had no air, no power windows, no door locks, or anything else. It had a stereo that played the radio and cassette tapes. It got decent mileage and didn’t cost more than a house.

It lasted me 10 years till I sold it still running and, oh yeah, it had a stick shift. Nowadays, I’m told that less than 20 percent of the United States driving population can handle a vehicle with a stick shift. Pretty sad, as the popular saying goes. Of course, back in the day, we were too busy driving to tweet.

Editor’s note: Michael Seinberg says he has has been driving a computer since 1977, a motorcycle since 1979, and a car since 1981. His current motorcycle is 21 years old and has no technology. His current car is smarter than his first computer.

Location:

Post date: 
September 28, 2017

Print this page

by John R. William

On Sept. 12, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg.

“We are finally having a decent stretch of weather,” some of the OMOTM said.

One OF commented, “Hey, we are at least entitled to two or three days of nice weather out of 365.  After what happens in other parts of the world and even in our own country, I will take the two or three days.”

He continued, “Others can have their sunshine. The other places have too many hurricanes, tornados, tsunamis, mosquitoes, spiders, snakes, cockroaches, beetles, and ants. I will take the clouds and the occasional blizzard.”

Models morph

The following question came up in our next discussion: When did cars morph into just one car?

he OFs say when they look at one model 2017 vehicle, they have seen them all. The cars now all look alike, especially the SUV, midsize, and sedans.

Even the pickup trucks are similar, particularly viewing them from the side. Some OFs picked 1970 or 1980 when the morphing started. The OFs were separated by 10 years.

The discussion led this scribe to the internet, and, if acting like a judge, this scribe would have to pick the seventies. Roughly in that time period, anyone worth his salt could tell a DeSoto from a Cadillac, or a Plymouth from a Chevy even from two miles away.

Today, to tell whether a certain vehicle is a RAV 4 or a CRV, or any other SUV, it is necessary to be right by the vehicle to read the emblem.

Morning remedies

We stopped the car talk to catch our breath and change subjects. To hear the remedies the OFs have for cutting down the aches and pains of getting up in the morning, the OFs should write a collective book on their solutions.

To one OF, it was make his way to the bathroom and take a good hot shower. To another, it was sit on the edge of the bed and wiggle his toes, then his feet, then swing his legs, then the OF would try to bend his back four or five times.

To still another, it was grab his cane and take a short walk down the hall. Yet to another, it was say, “Oh d---, another day,” then inch his way to the kitchen and nurse a cup of coffee, hoping the aches would go away — but they don’t!

A few of the OFs say, “Get the pills down, especially the Aleve,” and only then are they ready to face the day.

The conclusion is — none of this stuff works! These old “friends” — aches and pains — may fade a little but the OFs still have them for the rest of the day. However, when they are at the Tuesday breakfast, there is something about opening the restaurant door, and entering the restaurant.

That makes the following hour or so pain free. The aches and pains are finally gone!

Irma aftermath

Just like anybody in the Northeast, the OFs have friends or relatives in Florida, or they themselves have second homes in Florida. This brought out many conversations of concern for those who were involved one way or another with Hurricane Irma.

This scribe did not get into all the conversations, but the gist is that the outcome is all over the map; from nothing to slight damage to — well, we will have to find another place to rent.

The OFs know that all this is preliminary and it will take weeks just to sort things out and find out what, where, and when things will really be known. Just like Irene.

One OF said some streets in Florida look just like Schoharie did after Irene. Another OF noted the OFs have been talking about hurricanes ever since Irene came into our area and that was late August 2011.

Six years ago and this event is still in the back of the minds of many in the valley. The OFs mused about how many years the people of Florida will be remembering this hurricane.

One OF added, “Only until the next one. No big whoop for those guys — they go through it all the time.  We, on the other hand, might see something like Irene only every 100 years; now that makes it something to remember.”

This scribe does not know how the OFs knew this but the OFs said that they were under the impression that the owners of most shrimp boats stay with their boats. The boaters of the group said that is so they can control the lines as the water surges come and go.

The shrimpers are also used to rough seas, and most own their own boats. These guys are not going to abandon their means of making a living. So far, we have not heard of any of them losing their lives or boats yet.

One OF said he might watch a documentary (if one was made) on the people who do shrimp. How they live and handle adversity at sea and in hurricanes would be most interesting.

Those Old Men of the Mountain who made it to the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg and all made it in basically the same vehicle, except those who come by truck, were: Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Bill Lichliter, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Richard Frank, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Bob Benac, Art Frament, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Ted Feurer, Wayne Gaul, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Otis Lawyer, Lou Schenck, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Herb Bahrmann, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.

Location:

Post date: 
September 21, 2017

Print this page

by Dennis Sullivan

— Photo by Luca Galuzzi - www.galuzzi.it

Stillness predominates in the Sahara, writes Paul Bowles in “Baptism of Solitude.”

In the April 14, 2017 edition of the “Independent,” an article appeared by Katie Foster called “Children as young as 13 attending ‘smartphone rehab’ as concerns grow over screen time.”

Anyone who’s lived in the United States for more than an hour knows the United Kingdom is not alone in this “fight.” There are tables in every food court in every mall in the country where four or five young adults are sitting, eyes glued to the screens of some electronic device withholding presence from their comrades.

I have long wondered what the quality of silence is like in their homes. Is there any? Do members of their family or any family have a time and place for solitude? Are periods of solitude encouraged? Do family members read books of a meditative nature that help them sort life’s plaguing details?

I am especially aware of these issues at the moment because I’m reading a book of essays by the expat American writer Paul Bowles, “Travels: Collected Writings, 1950-1993.”

Bowles died in 1999 at 81 and, though an inveterate traveler, called Tangier, Morocco his home for more than 50 years. As a person attentive to what is, he began to absorb the bare bones reality of Africa, especially the silence one finds upon entering the Sahara.

In describing that silence Bowles hints as why those addicted to media-screen realities refuse to adjust their lives to include solitude. It’d require going cold turkey.

In a piece he wrote for “Holiday” in 1953 called “Baptism of Solitude,” Bowles says that, whether a person has gone into the Sahara once or 10 times, the first thing that commands his attention is the “stillness.” In that “hard stony place ... an incredible, absolute silence prevails.”

Even in the busy marketplaces, he says, “a conscious force [exists] which [resents] the intrusion of sound.” The underlying silence is so great that noise is minimized and eventually dispersed. Even the sky at night joins in; it “never really grows dark” but remains “an intense and burning blue” as if silence will not let the pilgrim go.

Then Bowles points to an inevitable conflict. He says, once you step outside “the gate of the fort or town” you’re staying in, you either “shiver and hurry back inside the walls, or you will go on standing there and let something very peculiar happen to you.”

The French have a phrase for the latter; they call it “le baptême de solitude,” the baptism of solitude.

It’s an experience of aloneness but has nothing to do with loneliness because loneliness presumes memory. Out there in that “wholly mineral landscape lighted by stars like flares,” Bowles says, “even memory disappears.” A person doesn’t know if he’s coming or going.

Then a strange interior “reintegration” occurs and “you have the choice of fighting against it, and insisting on remaining the person you have always been, or letting it take its course.” It’s the scriptural paradox: Unless the grain of wheat dies, it will not have life but, if it accedes to reality, it will live and multiply.

Bowles is speaking about the Sahara, of course, but he’s also speaking about the experience of solitude and silence anywhere. When a person encounters silence he’s not “quite the same as when he came.”

William Wadsworth, the poet, spoke of his need for this way of being. Social intercourse with friends and neighbors might be fine, he says in his famed poem “Personal Talk,” but:

 

Better than such discourse doth silence long,

Long, barren silence, square with my desire;

To sit without emotion, hope, or aim,

In the loved presence of my cottage-fire,

And listen to the flapping of the flame,

Or kettle whispering its faint undersong.
 

The Trappist monk, Thomas Merton, who was one of the 20th-Century’s champions of solitude, was more prescriptive. He said, when silence and solitude are absent from our lives, we never become the person we were meant to be. The latter requires a trip to the desert.

In his “The Silent Life,” Merton says all people “need silence and solitude in their lives to enable the deep inner voice of their own true self to be heard at least occasionally. When that inner voice is not heard, when man cannot attain to the spiritual peace that comes from becoming perfectly at one with his own true self, his life is always miserable and exhausting.”

No one can remain happy for long, he says “unless he is in contact with the springs of spiritual life which are hidden in the depths of his own soul.” He treats it as a law of nature.

How would you begin to explain such a process to one of the screen-addicted teens at the mall? One study said half the teens in the United States send 50 or more texts in a day, while one in three send more than 100; that’s 3,000 a month. The numbers seem high but the study noted as well that 15 percent of the teens surveyed send more than 200 texts a day. Twelve texts an hour?

The screen. A study by Common Sense says that, when added up, teens are logged onto a screen of some sort nearly nine hours a day, with those in the tween category logging in at six, almost as much as they sleep at night.

This oblique disregard for solitude manifests itself in how teens do homework. They have the TV on, and take breaks to text or network in some fashion. One study says three-quarters of teens listen to music while doing homework.

What can be the quality of such work? What can be the depth of thought? Maybe it’s better to ask: How much better could that person’s work be if done with greater thought and concentration, in studious solitude?

Psychologist Ester Buchholz in “The Call of Solitude” links solitude to creativity. In an article she wrote for “Psychology Today,” she says, “Research on creative and talented teenagers suggests that the most talented youngsters are those who treasure solitude.”

By delving into the depths of the unconscious, solitude helps a person “unravel problems ... figure things out ... emerge with new discoveries ... unearth original answers.”

On this point, Merton keeps hammering away. Without solitude, he says, a person is “no longer moved from within, but only from outside himself. He no longer makes decisions for himself, he lets them be made for him. He no longer acts upon the outside world. But lets it act upon him. He is propelled through life by a series of collisions with outside forces. His is no longer the life of a human being but the existence of a sentient billiard ball, a being without purpose and without any deeply valid response to reality.”

Bowles saw how sentient billiard balls begin to carom when silence is rejected. People cling to a phantasm of who they are rather than the person they are meant to be.

 

Post date: 
September 14, 2017

Print this page

by John R. Williams

On Tuesday, Sept. 5, the school routine was already is in place in many institutions of learning.  

The Old Men of the Mountain met at the Your Way Café in Schoharie and had their frequent-eater card stamped. Just like frequent miles, there are rewards at the Your Way Cafe for having a card and getting it stamped.

Enough stamps and the bearer of the card is entitled to a free breakfast. It is a good thing some of the OFs eat at the Your Way Café during the week; otherwise, if the group showed up with cards stamped sufficiently to receive a free breakfast at the same time, poor Darcy would go broke.

The OFs were fired up Tuesday morning on the “bait and switch” ads in the paper, even with coupons. This scribe did not realize so many of the OFs encountered this practice and what they did about it.  

Two of the best tales were about a major chain that has been around a long time. It seems that one of the OFs saw a car battery advertised in the paper for a really good price and since he owned an old clunker, which he used mainly to run around and go to work with, he knew the old car was in need of a battery.

“Perfect,” he told himself. “The sale is tomorrow and I am going down early in the morning before work and get one.”

The OF showed up with the ad and asked the clerk for the battery on sale because there were none on the sales floor. The OF said the clerk asked him what kind of car he drove and the OF told him.

The clerk said that battery would not fit in his car so they couldn’t sell him one. The OF said he blew up because the clerk had no idea what the battery was being used for. The OF said he could be using the battery to operate running lights for crabbing on his boat; it was none of the clerk’s business what the battery was going to used for.

He then asked for the manager. The manager came and said he was sorry but that particular battery was all sold out.

The OF said he pointed out to the manager that he (the OF) was the first one in the store. He told the manager to look around — there was only the OF, the manager, and the clerk there.

Where is everyone who bought the battery?  He didn’t see anyone leaving the store when he came in. The OF said he threatened to sue them individually and the store, and he was coming back with a cop.

The manager finally admitted there were no batteries, and sold him a better battery at the sale price. The customer has to stand his ground.

The next is the same store chain, and this OF says it was in an ad this store used off and on. The ad says the store has a tool chest full of tools for a ridiculously low price.

The OF says twice he tried to take advantage of this ad and both times was told the store were sold out. The next time he saw the ad, he went that evening to the store and saw quite a few of the boxes ready for sale on a table.

The sale was the next day and, just as the OF above (the OFs at that time lived hundreds of miles apart and this was not the same store, but the same chain so conversing with the other OF did not take place), this OF showed up first thing in the morning.

The table was empty and a clerk said he was sorry but they were sold out and offered a similar set at a higher price. This OF raised such a fuss, and insisted they were there and said that he checked it out the night before.

He, too, threatened legal action and they brought the advertised tool set out from the back and sold it to the OF for the advertised price. The OFs stand their ground.

One OF said he likes the way Walmart does it. Whatever the sale item is, it is where it is supposed to be and all wrapped up in plastic.

When it comes time for the sale, the wrapping is removed and the sharks come to the chum. The OF said he was in the right place at the right time, and had no intention of purchasing a TV but was right there when the Walmart employee was removing the wrapping off one of these sales.

The OF said he grabbed one and paid less for that TV than a cheap clock radio cost. The OF still has it and it works great.

The wife saw him later on in the store with the TV in his cart and she asked, “What the heck is this?  We don’t need another TV.”

The OF told his wife the price and took her back to where the TVs were to show her, and they were all gone. The OF said that he was unintentionally one of the Piranhas that just happened to be the first in line.

The OFs say, when messing with seniors and saving a buck, be sure to have your ducks in line because you are messing with a formidable foe.

One OF mentioned that we can’t trust the weatherman, we can’t trust politicians, we can’t trust the news, and we can’t trust ads. He added anyone that pays full price for a mattress must be from another planet.

Another OF mentioned he thinks the real “bait and switch” going on now is the one being perpetrated by National Grid. In this OFs opinion, National Grid wants a 5-percent increase, so the company asks for 11 percent.

The people become furious and get up in arms, the legislators get behind them, and the Public Service Commission reduces the increase to 5 percent. The PSC says, “Look what we did for you.” The legislators say, “Look what we did for you.” National Grid says it listened to the populace and so it accepted the 5-percent rate increase.

The only win would be for a 0-percent increase but that would not help National Grid with its increase in operating expenses. “Lets see how this one plays out,” the OF said.

Those Old Men of the Mountain who met at the Your Way Café in Schoharie (and who can’t wait to get their hands on the next ad for something they need or want) were: George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Robie Osterman, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Richard Frank, Dave Williams, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Pete Whitbeck, Roger Shafer, Bob Benac, Art Frament, Otis Lawyer, Duncan Bellinger, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Wayne Gaul, Duane Wagonbaugh, Bob Lassome, Don Wood, Sonny Mercer, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Warren Willsey, Mike Willsey, Josh Hundley, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.

Post date: 
September 14, 2017

Print this page

by Michael Burgess

In our community and all across the country, older Americans form the backbone of the volunteer corps that keeps our civic, social, health, veterans, community, and faith-based organizations going. Being retired, many are eager to offer their time for programs and causes that they are interested in.

While many retirees volunteer informally when time permits, there are other structured volunteer opportunities like the federally-funded Retired Senior Volunteer Program. Community Caregivers is one of a number of volunteer-based programs that participates in this region’s RSVP.

In recent years, there has been a growing focus on the importance of the “social capital” of older volunteers, that is, the valuable resource that their volunteerism provides in the community.  More and more, there are examples of the importance of using volunteers and peers to address social needs.

New organizations have sprung up like ReServe (www.reserveinc.org), which is now in many larger cities, where older persons with professional skills earn a stipend for working in a community agency.  Using this social capital is increasingly becoming a strategy for organizations working with ReServe, such as a dementia coaching project that has several ReServe volunteers working with a health provider in the New York City area.

Community Caregivers, which started in Altamont as a not-for-profit community organization, has approximately 150 volunteers actively helping their neighbors live independently in the community. For many, volunteering with our organization is not only a service to their neighbors but a personally rewarding and gratifying experience.

And, volunteering also impacts health and wellness. A lot of research shows that volunteering is good for your health and can lead to better health and even perhaps a longer lifespan.

It is important to recognize, support, and honor our volunteers. Like other volunteer organizations, Community Caregivers does so at volunteer recognition events during the year. It is an honor well deserved.

We continue to seek more volunteers and more ways that volunteers can help both their neighbors individually and also further improve the quality of life in the community.

Please consider joining us for a new volunteer session this fall. Adults of all ages and teens with their parents are welcome:

— Volunteer orientations are scheduled at the office of Community Caregivers the first Tuesday of each month at 10 a.m. and third Thursdays at noon, or upon request.

— To register or to request more information, please call (518) 456-2898 or contact us by email:   .

You also may contact the RSVP Coordinator, Susan Napierski, to learn of diverse area volunteer opportunities for volunteers 55 years of age and older. Her number is (518) 459-2857 X308.

Community Caregivers Inc. is a not-for-profit organization that provides non-medical services including transportation and caregiver support at no charge to residents of Guilderland, Bethlehem, Altamont, New  Scotland, Berne, Knox, and the city of Albany through a strong volunteer pool of dedicated individuals with a desire to assist their neighbors.

Our funding is derived in part from the Albany County Department for Aging, the New York State Office for the Aging, and the United States Administration on Aging. To find out more about our services, as well as volunteer opportunities, please visit www.communitycaregivers.org or call us at (518) 456-2898.

Editor’s note: Michael Burgess is a health policy consultant for Community Caregivers Inc.

 

Post date: 
September 14, 2017

Print this page

by John R. Williams

On these waning days of a continual spring (there was no real summer), it was Tuesday, Aug. 29, when the early contingent of the Old Men of the Mountain gathered on the sidewalk in front of the Country Café in Schoharie, waiting for it to open before the men piled in. On the sidewalk, the OFs began discussing many of the topics that would be carried into the Country Café.

A discussion that was typical of the OFs (in manner not in subject) was how some OGs were jawing at another OG about the type of cocoa he served them in his at-home workshop. The OFs were complaining when the OG was trying to get work done, even though the OFs who showed up there (just for someplace to go and visit), that his cocoa was weak and cheap. For goodness sake!

The cocoa was free, the entertainment was free, the parking was free, stools and rickety old chairs were free for the OFs’ use, and yet these visiting OFs have the audacity to complain.

These OGs complained so much that the fellow with the shop had to upgrade his cocoa brand. Through experimentation and the process of elimination, the OF now serves Swiss Miss to the visiting OFs, and these ingrates don’t even chip in.

The next thing you know, the OFs will be asking, “Where are the doughnuts”?

The OF with the shop says he really doesn’t mind too much; the OFs do on occasion bring in some business. They also offer free advice, lots of free advice, none of it right though, he added.

This common scenario of the OMOTM is a clue to the type of summer we in the Northeast have experienced. The OFs claim we never really exited the cocoa-doughnut phase of fall and winter, and now the OFs are right into what should be the cocoa-doughnut, pumpkin, apple pie phase of the year.

The OFs said they never really felt like having watermelon and soft ice-cream this summer.

Disasters everywhere

With all the problems that the southeast coast of Texas is having with Hurricane Harvey, Irene pops up her ugly head, flooding residents of our area with memories, and how close it was in the time of year for these two cataclysmic events. Irene was nasty but the OFs noted how many more people were affected by Harvey.

Although one OF mentioned that, if it happens to you, it is a disaster of one, so whether it is happening to seventy thousand, twenty thousand, or just a few hundred, it is still a disaster to those involved. What do you do when everything you have is swept away in a flood, or burned up in a forest fire, or buried under rubble in an earthquake

It is all mind-numbing for those going through it.

One OF said, “The west coast burns up, the South gets blown away, the center of the country gets sucked into the heavens, and the east coast becomes buried under snow.”

The OF said, “We can run but we can’t hide. Bad weather will find you, and if it is not the weather it is bugs, snakes, and alligators.”

Another OF added, “If it wasn’t for all that, there would be no challenges and life would be boring.”

And one more OF further stated, “Tell that to someone whose house has just burned to the ground.”

Pioneer’s perspective

That started another conversation on how the pioneers lived with no electricity, no air conditioners or refrigerators, and no means of expanded verbal conversation. News traveled only by word of mouth, or on the printed page.

One OF said at least the Indians were one up on us there — they had smoke signals.

It is hard for the younger group of OFs to envision this. The OFs that are 80 or beyond had to do a lot without the accepted conveniences of today and many of the OFs said, “We didn’t miss them because we didn’t have them.”  

However, one OF said, “Things weren’t too bad because we had cars and trucks and even airplanes; we had radios, crystal sets, and we even had the telephone. It is our parents that got along quite well without the conveniences of the 1930s. Look at all the advancements they had in World War I.”

The OF added, “Why, when we were young. we even had Johnny Ray, and Elvis.”

The OFs had to agree (even though some were still farming with horses) that the modern conveniences were around.  Why, we even had F.W. Woolworth's, Kresge’s, Wards, and Sears — what else did the OFs need?

The OFs who gathered at the Country Café on Main Street in Schoharie, with one whipping out his phone to order a part so the OF could repair his lawn tractor, were: Miner Stevens, Josh Buck, Bill Lichliter, George Washburn,  Harold Guest, Robie Osterman, Roger Chapman, Glenn Patterson (who showed all of  the OFs up by hiking to the restaurant, and then he had to hike home), Pete Whitbeck, Chuck Aelesio, Richard Frank, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Roger Shafer, Otis Lawyer, Jim Heiser, Mark Traver, Art Frament, Ray Kennedy, Bob Benac, Herb Sawotka, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Bob Lassome, Duane Wagonbaugh, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Rev. Jay Francis, Elwood Vanderbilt, Richard Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, John Rossmann, Gerry Chartier, Mike Willsey, and me.

 

Post date: 
September 7, 2017

Print this page

by Frank L. Palmeri

Ralph C. Smedley was an education director for the Young Men’s Christian Association when he discovered the need for speech training. In 1924, the program he developed became known as Toastmasters.

Today, Toastmasters International is a global organization devoted to developing leadership and public-speaking skills. All these years later, the program Mr. Smedley invented is still going strong and working wonders.

I first became involved in Toastmasters years ago when I joined a local club. It was a lot of fun because everyone was there to help everyone else and you never knew what someone would decide to speak about.

One lady brought in stunning pictures of her hike through Europe. Another lady spoke about curling, that crazy sport where you sweep the ice with a broom to direct what look like giant bocce balls. I even got to participate in a very spirited debate, which was a lot of fun.

Then my kids got to the age where they needed to be ferried to various after-school activities all the time so I had to give up the program. Lucky for me, I’ve got a little more free time these days so I joined another Toastmasters club and I’m having a great time. Who says you can’t go back again?

Over the years, I’ve read many times that public speaking is the number-one fear for most people, feared even more than death. That’s why a program like Toastmasters is so wonderful.

Everyone in that room is supportive to the max. No one makes fun of you if you’re not perfect. In fact, after any speech or other activity, you are always provided with constructive feedback meant to help you improve for next time. That’s a great thing if you want to learn how to speak better in public.

Maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “I have no use for Toastmasters because I’m not a TV star or running for office so what do I care about public speaking?”

The thing, is you may not have to speak in a professional manner, but there are so many other public-speaking opportunities that the average person may encounter: at church, town board meetings, weddings, or funerals.

If you really think about it, you’ll realize that, any time you are speaking to anyone, you are engaged in public speaking, so anything that makes you communicate better has to be a good thing.

Here are a couple of examples of public-speaking failures.

My grandmother chose her son-in-law, my uncle, to give the toast at her fiftieth wedding anniversary celebration. So my uncle stands up, raises his glass, says, “Salute,” and sits back down. Even as a kid watching that, I knew there was something missing.

Then I was at a graduation celebration. The speaker spent 15 minutes talking to the graduates, who were sitting behind her on the stage, rather than to the audience. It was like those of us in the audience were witnessing a locker-room pep talk. Both that speaker and my uncle most certainly would have benefited from some Toastmasters training.

Of course, when you start studying public speaking, you do become more tuned in to what speakers do and say. At a cancer survivors’ dinner, the very enthusiastic speaker, a survivor herself, did a wonderful speech that was very well received.

However, several times during the speech she said things like, “As I stand her at this podium” and, “I never would have believed that I’d be here today standing behind this podium.”

If you’re in Toastmasters, you know that when you speak you stand behind the lectern, which itself rests on the podium. After the speech, I tried to think of a nice way to tell the lady this not-so-subtle distinction without looking like a jerk, but in the end I let it go. She’s not the only one who makes this mistake; it happens all the time. So what can you do?

You can go to a Toastmasters’ meeting and just sit there if you want, but it’s much more productive to have a role at the meeting. Some of the roles are speaker, speech evaluator, timer, grammarian, and “ah counter.” This last one requires some explanation.

The role of the ah counter is to listen to each speaker and count each time he or she says some kind of a vocal “crutch,” like ah, um, you know, or some other vocal stumbling block. This is not done to embarrass the speaker.

On the contrary, it’s done because so many people aren’t even aware they’re doing it. It really is a positive thing, yet I spoke to a friend at a party recently and she told me the reason she dropped out of Toastmasters was because she didn’t like having all her “ums” counted.

I felt bad about that, because the feedback is always supposed to be done in a positive and constructive manner. I hope that’s the way it was done with her but I can’t be sure because I wasn’t there.

One of the best things about Toastmasters is the sheer creativity of the speakers. It’s amazing what an otherwise ordinary-looking person can come up with for a speech idea. One young lady at a recent meeting did a speech on pairing wine with food; her speech was as good as anything I’ve ever heard on the subject.

Another spoke of growing up in a different country and struggling just to go to school, often under the threat of starvation, bodily harm, or even rape. I about had tears in my eyes after that one. If you enjoy hearing heartfelt speaking, you will most definitely love Toastmasters.

A really fun thing at a Toastmasters’ meeting is Table Topics. This is where a random subject will be brought up and the speakers will have a minute or two to do a brief speech on the topic. This requires quick thinking and is a great way to keep you on your toes.

Some topics might be “who was your favorite boss and why” or “what was your favorite vacation,” topics that are generic enough that everyone should be able to come up with something interesting. Table Topics are fast and fun, give everyone a very non-threatening way to participate, and are always a highlight of any Toastmasters’ meeting.

As you progress in Toastmasters, you receive various achievements and distinctions. If you complete the speaking and leadership tracks, you can earn your highly coveted Distinguished Toastmaster award. There are folks who earn their DTM and then start the program all over again because they love it so much.

There are also annual speech contests, conventions, and leadership training. I tell you, had I gotten into Toastmasters when I first started working, I’d be a lot higher up in the pecking order than I am now, no doubt about it.

Practicing public speaking and learning how to run meetings and communicate effectively are skills that help you develop into a strong and confident leader. Those skills of course help you in all aspects of life, which is great.

If Toastmasters sounds like something you’d be interested in, just visit Toastmasters.org, put in your ZIP code, and you’ll find a list of local clubs. Some are closed like my current one where only members of an organization can join, but others are open to the public and would gladly welcome visitors.

There are clubs that meet at all different times and places so you can find one that works for you if you’re interested. There is no obligation to join and it’s a lot of fun so I encourage you to check it out if you can.

In these trying times, when it seems like so much of society has devolved into an almost constant us-against-them conflagration, it’s so refreshing to find a group that welcomes anyone who wants to improve their communication and leadership skills.

The fact that it’s so much fun as well is icing on the cake. Thanks to Mr. Smedley for creating such a great program so many years ago, and long live Toastmasters.

 

Post date: 
September 7, 2017

Print this page