Archive » April 2018 » Columns

Tuesday, April 17, 2018: Where the blankity, blank, blank is spring? This year it is tough to prove global warming.

To get to the Home Front Café in Altamont and back over the hill to home, some of the Old Men of the Mountain thought they should bring chains (just in case) as the snow was falling at a pretty good clip.

The OFs are still carping about fish.

Some of the OFs have ponds on their land; one OF has his stocked with fish. Some of the fish were brought by birds, which is a big question mark, and some of these fish are carp.

Some ponds are built and are not stocked with fish but they come anyway and so do frogs and turtles. The frogs and turtles the OFs can understand, but fish?  

Anyway, this OF feeds the fish and they know when it is feeding time. The carp will come right up out of the water to grab food that falls close to shore. The OF says the carp will come up out of the water on their own and make quite a racket flopping their way back into the water.

The next carp tale was told by another OF, and briefly mentioned last week. On a trip to Williamsburg Virginia, with friends, he stayed in the village of Williamsburg, in the Williamsburg Inn. In back of the hotel were two ponds, both filled with huge carp.

There was a bridge separating the two ponds. The upper pond had carp at least two to three feet long and these carp still had some gold scales on them. The lower pond had smaller carp about 18 inches to two feet.

In this pond the OF and the son of one of the friends (both were early risers) went with a couple loaves of bread to the bridge and proceeded to feed the carp. The friend’s son started tossing bread on the riprap (loose stone used to form a foundation for a breakwater) at one end of the bridge and the carp came right up out of the water to get the bread. The fish made a sucking sound as they flapped on the rocks, grabbed the bread, and returned to the water.

The next morning, the OF’s friend tossed the bread to the fish, increasing the distance further up the rocks, and the carp kept climbing the rocks and getting the bread. Just as the previous OF told how the carp behaved at his pond and how, at times, they did leave the water on their own, this OF at Williamsburg said he could not confirm, but wouldn’t doubt, that some of the carp he fed in Williamsburg might come out of the water on their own.

The moral of these stories is carpe diem. Enjoy yourself while you have the chance.

A dangerous question

Who is old? That was a question put to the OMOTM. What kind of question is that to ask a whole bunch of OFs?

One OF said that anyone 10 years older than you is old and he started giving examples. For instance, if you are 30 then someone 40 is old, and if you are 50 then someone 60 is old.

When he arrived at the age of 70, the OFs present said, “Hold on, wait a minute!”

This OF was getting into dangerous territory. The OF defended himself by saying, “You guys are not old.”   By his criteria, someone 90 is then old.

The OFs continued with their, “Hold on a bit; the ice is still thin. You are going to have to shoot for 100 to cover this group and then still have to use some numbers instead of zeros.”

Thrifty history

The OFs went back into history when they were first employed, how much they made, and what they were able to do with it. The time period the OFs were talking about was when $25 was a ton of money. If your employer at that time gave a 50-cent raise, it was time to get down and kiss the ground the employer walked on.

The OFs were talking $40 to $50 a week. The OFs did everything on that amount of money. They purchased homes and cars, maintained them, went to the movies, took vacations — everything.

One OF started adding up how today it is so easy just to spend a $100 in one day on entertaining. The OF said he took the family to McDonalds, and the movies, and filled the car with gas, nothing special or extravagant, and over 100 bucks was gone in just about four hours.

Another OF mentioned that pretty soon we won’t have to carry wallets; we will need wheelbarrows to carry money around if we are going to pay in cash.

Watch out for Jersey drivers

Somehow the OFs started a little discussion on when and how we took our driving tests and what we had to do to pass these tests. Still going backwards in time, many OFs took their tests in Schoharie County in front of Lasell Hall on Main Street in Schoharie.

One OF related how his kids took their road tests now in New Jersey and what a snap these tests were. The OFs took their road tests on the streets and had to dodge traffic; however, in New Jersey, the OF’s kids took theirs on a closed course.

They were the only one on this course. It was a laid-out area; parallel parking was between cones, and the stop sign had no cars coming either way and all the driver had to do was stop. No worry about checking right or left.

At no time did the one taking the test have to worry about cars or trucks, or even motorcycles coming out of nowhere trying to attack you, as the OFs complained happened, when they were taking their driving tests.

On the other hand, after these young people took their tests in an atmosphere like that, they are then dumped out onto the streets of New Jersey and New York City. No wonder the theme in our neck of the woods is to watch out for Jersey drivers, especially now that we know how some of them got their licenses. They think they are the only ones on the road.

When most of the OFs got their licenses, they were put through their paces, but many of them had been driving farm trucks, tractors, and horses since they were about 10 years old. At that time, there was no power steering, the brakes were mechanical, and there were no automatic transmissions.

The OFs were accustomed to using a clutch, so the test for the farm boys was not much as long as they obeyed the rules and didn’t think they were Barney Oldfield (who was the first man to drive 60 miles per hour).

Those OFs who made it to the Home Front Café, and were glad some fish made it out of the water for good, were: Roger Chapman, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Dave Williams, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Karl Remmers, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Jack Norray, Lou Schenck, Herb Bahrmann, Mace Porter, Otis Lawyer, Mark Traver, Joe Rack, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Henry Whipple, Bill Rice, Allen DeFazio, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.

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“Caritas,” which means “Charity,” was drawn by Pieter Bruegel in 1599. Dennis Sullivan writes that the work “portrays neighbors meeting the needs of each other with a reflective tenderness.”

I don’t know what your history classes were like in school but, when you studied the Civil War, were you taught the South had the “bad guys?”

It’s more than 150 years since the war and some southerners still say the North has the bad guys. Last summer, a band of Confederate-based, Nazi-leaning demonstrators in Charlottesville, Virginia waged a pitched battle on that city’s streets against citizens demonstrating for peace. One ill-witted Confederate cut down a living flower with the bumper of his car.

And some southerners still say the South was inches away from winning the first time. Terry L. Jones in a March 2015 article in The New York Times, “Could the South Have Won the War?,” quotes sources saying that, if Lee had tweaked his military strategies here and there, we’d all be singing Dixie.

In a comedy bit on the last week of the Letterman Show in 2015, Norm MacDonald opined that, when Germany went to war with “the world,” it was close. With a few turns in Wehrmacht fortune, we’d be goose-steppers.

During an interview with Elliot Mintz in 2015, as part of a celebration marking his 90th birthday, the social satirist Mort Sahl — the first modern stand-up in history — expressed concern about how the current civil war in America is going.

With a tone of pained uncertainty, he non-rhetorically asked the interviewer: Don’t the good guys always win? Isn’t that how things turn out in history? It was a latent fear of fascism’s growing claim on America.   

Early in his career, Democrats accused Sahl of being a conservative, Republicans said he was a Commie. In “Last Man Standing: Mort Sahl and the Birth of Modern Comedy,” the wonderfully-written new biography of the comic, author James Curtis quotes Sahl as saying both camps were wrong; he said: I’m a radical.

Radical in the sense that he kept his satirical light shining on the powerful as they stepped on the dignity and well-being of people whose needs they dismissed as unworthy of attention.

Sahl hoped that, because a person has a particular race, color, creed, gender, or some other defining attribute, he would not be excluded from being treated as fully human. Consider the two black men arrested at a Starbucks in the City of Brotherly Love two weeks ago as they waited for a friend inside the café.

The satirist also used a word seemingly out of character for him; he said Americans have lost their commitment to “nobility.” In saying so, he sounded like the great 20th-Century poet Wallace Stevens who in his classic essay, “The Noble Rider,” addressed the nobility of the poet, laying out the requirements for being noble.

Stevens says the poet fulfills that function when he offers up his imagination to the community so the community can find the courage to delve into its unconscious ways and examine the justifications that induce people to become “bad guys.”

Those who persevere in the process develop an acute sense of human dignity, dignity as a political-economic variable that equates with a person’s worth.

Stevens said withstanding the abrasive assaults of bad guys requires “a mind of winter.” That’s what his beloved poem “The Snow Man” is about, standing up to the incursions of power, the deadly winter we create for ourselves.

I’ve mentioned the ongoing civil war in this country before. Some people seem unable to grasp its cultural context; a few say it’s a touch of conspiracy.

A person picks up a gun and shoots another dead. We see the death, we see the gun, we see the war. But today people obliterate each other ideologically, as when someone says to another: You’re dead, you’re of no account, your point of view is nothing, you’re a bad guy — and there’s nothing you can do for redemption.

The justification for this military incursion comes from a deserts-based view of reality. You hear it all the time: Hey, you don’t deserve this, you’re a Mexican! You’re nobody! Hey, you don’t deserve this, you’re a woman, you’re not equal! You’re a non-deserver too.

Civil war always has to do with deserts, over who deserves what according to pre-assigned value. If those who assert “conspiracy” wish to address value, they can deconstruct sexism, racism, ageism, classicism, cultural chic-ism, and all the efforts of the powerful to enforce modern-day versions of — shall we say: Aryan supremacy?

As our civil war continues, people of different ilk blame Donald Trump for pouring kerosene on the fire. But it’s not “Trump” because, if he had not come along, somebody else would have, so disconsolate is the Confederacy to find a secessionist standard-bearer.

Trump is a mirror for America to look at herself to determine how long she will allow her citizens to flail away at each other with unbridled id; Trump’s the clarion call for a secession-nation that devalues American commonweal. The lie promulgated by such an assault is that social institutions do not require benevolence for sustainability.

You can see why terms like “conservative” and “liberal” no longer have meaning. They’re like worn-out prize fighters banging at each other’s head to seize the title of: Assigner of Value and Worth.

And while the rights of all — including clouds and rivers — always require protection, the political economic map of a sustainable American future is rooted in needs, in communities across the country finding ways to meet the needs of all their citizens.

The nagging big-elephant-question in our national room then is: Are you a good guy or are you a bad guy? How do you know?

Outside the political boundaries of left and right there is indeed a measure to determine if you’re good: To what extent have you dedicated yourself to relieving the pain and suffering of others by tending to their needs? And do you support programs designed to do so?

Good guys are like living-hospice-morphine-drips, first listening to what people say their needs are, and then taking steps to meet them. In his 1559 drawing “Caritas,” Pieter Bruegel portrays neighbors meeting the needs of each other with a reflective tenderness. Is that not what their faces show?

If a person has one meal today and you come along with two, that person has three; it’s measurable. If a person is living in squalid conditions and you provide quarters that support the dignity of the person so he can sit quietly and ponder with gratitude the life he was given, it’s measurable.

Call yourself what you will — left, right, down, up in the air — the new American dream calls for needs-meeters, relievers of the pain and suffering of fellow Americans without charging for offered aid.

The decision to “form a more perfect union” and to “secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity,” as the Preamble to our Constitution says, is formed in the national unconscious. How a person handles the darkness there determines whether he becomes a good guy or a bad guy.

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Doodlebugs, made from worn out cars or trucks, were common on the farm in the ’30s, and ’40s.

Where were you on April 10 between the hours of 6 a.m. and 9 a.m.? This scribe knows where he and 22 other guys were. We were at the Chuck Wagon Diner in Princetown, New York where absolutely nothing happened.

One question an OF put to another OF was, “Do I look old to you?”

Boy, talk about putting a guy on the spot.

“Hey we are all old,” the OF replied, and the first OF pressed on, further questioning, “Come on, do I look old to you?”

The other OF said, “Well, your ears are long like mine,” still trying to get out of it.

The first OF dropped the inquiry and continued to tell stories of how he and his wife were treated on a trip to Hungary. The other OF said after the stories were told that many of the OFs should be proud to carry the badge of age when they carry it well.

Some people realize all too soon they will be old, so they treat age with respect. And, in some cultures, age demands respect and the youth are taught that. Conversely, in other cultures, the young think they will never be old and treat age as a nuisance and the elderly are just in the way.

Many of the OFs have trouble with being old and trying to keep up with how everything is changing so fast. The wife of this scribe sums it up very nicely when she says, “All I want is an on and off switch,” and the OFs agree.

Trying to remember all the buttons to push to operate a microwave, or the kitchen stove and in the proper sequence can drive you nuts. Even a simple thing like a clock radio, let alone the newer vehicles, all have ways of operating them that are so far out the OFs need instructions on how to just turn these things on and get them started.

Change sometimes is necessary and the OFs understand that, but change just for change’s sake does not make much sense to the OFs.

Yeah, I guess the OFs are old but that is not a bad thing. Within each gray hair and each wrinkle is a storehouse of experience that perpetuates change, which all the young ones think is theirs alone.

And snicker a tad when they have to show an OF how to set his TV.  Just wait until there is a massive power outage and none of the young ones’ electronic toys work, and the OFs have to show them what to do just to stay alive.

“Don’t sell the younger generation short,” an OF interjected. “The way they are going, the grid will only be used for large manufacturing plants. Solar power and small wind-powered generators will be able to keep the home fires burning.

“Even electric cars that can be charged at home with your own home-generated power will keep the younger generation (and us) on the road. Food will be sustainable with the farms that have their own power plants. The same will go for small and light industries. Even large buildings can share their own local power source.”

This OF maintains in the not-to-distant future fossil fuels will not be required.

No fuelin’

In previous columns it has been noted how much extra fuel the OFs say has been necessary to keep the old homestead comfy this year. One OF commented that he has operated his wood-burning furnace so much more this year that his woodpile is down to the base.

He is now burning old wood, some of which has sunk into the ground, and is years old. The OF said he has had to bundle up and go out to the woodlot and do a little logging in snow up to his knees to keep the home fires burning.

“Never had to do that before,” the OF said.

Doodlebugs

Another OF commented that he had made a purchase of a Model A doodlebug with steel wheels. This is going back a ways. Doodlebugs were common on the farm in the ’30s, and ’40s, and maybe even later.

When a car or truck began to wear out, many farmers and the farmers’ kids turned the thing into a doodlebug. Not only was it fun but the usefulness of the tired old vehicle carried on doing farm chores (and all it had was an off and on switch).  Sears and Roebuck even had a kit for turning Model A’s into doodlebugs.

Of carp and kayaking

The OFs were literally all over the map this Tuesday, speaking on their different topics. The topics went from fly fishing, to making their own flies, to kayaks and kayaking, to feeding and catching carp, to China, Russia, and Hungary.

For the OFs at the table, the kayaking bit was when they were younger. The OFs discussed kayaking in the Schoharie Creek. If any of the readers know the creek from Boucks Falls in the town of Fulton, downstream to Old Central Bridge, they will know a popular area for kayaking.

One OF said he would put his kayak in on Vlaie Pond, which is just outside of Middleburgh on Route 145 south.  (Google tells me Vlaie or Vly is a word for swamp that comes from the Dutch settlers of the area). The OFs said that putting a kayak in at Middleburgh and taking it out at Old Central Bridge is a nice day trip, and it is downstream.

The OFs next discussed carp and how it is quite an interesting fish. One OF said he feeds the fish in his pond and some are carp.

Another OF said that in Williamsburg, Virginia (where the world’s largest living history museum is located) there used to be two good-sized carp ponds that held nothing but overgrown goldfish. However, this was in the seventies so he is not sure if these ponds are still in use there.

Stories to be continued….

The Old Men of the Mountain who enjoyed the early morning at the Chuck Wagon Café were: Roger Chapman, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Chuck Aelesio, Ray Frank,Wayne Gaul, Ted Feurer, Jake Lederman, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Otis Lawyer, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Gerry Chartier, Mike Willsey, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen and me.

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Beginning this month, Medicare is mailing new cards to everyone with Medicare. With over 55 million Medicare beneficiaries, this changeover takes time; not everyone will get the new cards at once. The new Medicare cards will be sent out over the next 12 months.

A new law prompted this move by requiring that Social Security numbers be removed from Medicare cards. The purpose is to help keep your Social Security number safe. The new cards will have a mix of numbers and letters as identifiers.

You don’t need to do anything. As long as your address is up-to-date, your card will be mailed automatically. The new card does not change your coverage or benefits.

If you have other insurance in addition to Medicare, including a Medicare Advantage Plan, keep that Plan ID card too. Once you receive it, carry your new Medicare card with you as well, in case you are asked to show it at the doctor’s office.

You might be surprised that the new card is paper; that makes it easier for medical offices to make a copy. As always, only give your new Medicare number to doctors, pharmacists, other healthcare providers, your insurers, or to people you trust to work with Medicare on your behalf.

Be aware of scams: Medicare will never call you uninvited and ask you to give personal or private information to receive a new Medicare number and card. If someone asks you for your personal information or for money or threatens to cancel your health benefits if you don’t share it, hang up and call 1-800-MEDICARE (1-800-633-4227).

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Community Caregivers Inc. is a not-for-profit organization that provides non-medical services including transportation and caregiver support at no charge to residents of Guilderland, Bethlehem, Altamont, New Scotland, Berne, Knox, and the city of Albany through a strong volunteer pool of dedicated individuals with a desire to assist their neighbors.

Our funding is derived in part from the Albany County Department for Aging, the New York State Office for the Aging, and the United States Administration on Aging. To find out more about our services, as well as volunteer opportunities, please visit www.communitycaregivers.org or call us at 518-456-2898.

Editor’s note: Linda Miller is the Outreach and Education coordinator for Community Caregivers.

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It is Tuesday again — funny how fast the days come around as the OFs get older and older.

This Tuesday, April 3, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg. April is going to be the month of the Green Moon; all the planets that are whirling around are going to line up and the moon will turn green.

Those who want to see this phenomenon will have to watch it now because it won’t happen again for another 420 years. The OFs won’t be around for the next Green Moon — they will be lucky if they make it to the next breakfast.

This scribe is getting a little tired of having to report the OMOTM’s main topic of conversation. Lately, it is the redundant yakking about the weather.

It is miserable at least in the OFs’ locale. The OFs know the sun is up there.  How do they know this? It’s because, when the OFs fly anywhere, once they are above the clouds, there’s the sun.

The OFs feel it is about time those clouds find some place else to go, giving us at least a couple of days in a row of sun with no, or at least very little, wind. We don’t want the wind blowing the OMOTM’s hats off and down the road.

There! That is two-thirds of the conversation that took place.

Some conversations were, in a roundabout way, connected to the weather and that connection is the way the OFs were talking about how they have used more fuel this year than they normally do.

One OF said, “It isn’t over yet.”

The OFs also are already complaining about how muddy it is going to be especially on the Hill as one OF retorted. Another OF said, “What makes you guys think you are going to be so special? It is going to be muddy in the valley, too.”

Yet another OF commented that he has already purchased some cheap throw-away rugs to put on the floor of his mud room because, where he lives, the mud is clay and sticks to his shoes. The OF said his feet get so much clay stuck to them in just an hour that he adds 10 pounds; just lifting his feet tires him out, lugging all that mud around on his shoes.

A few OFs complained that snowplowing their driveways has turned their lawns into major spring projects. Now they’re putting the lawns back together where the plows dug in because the ground didn’t have much frost in it — if any.

Disappearing senses

A topic came up out of the blue, and this scribe is trying to remember how it started. One OF asked if the other OFs had lost any of their senses as they got older.

The answer was yes, the most common being eyesight, but the sense of smell seemed dulled, and the sense of when their feet were hitting the ground was a different one. The combination of the sense of smell and taste in concert was another one, and the OF who mentioned this said smell and taste were both about gone.

But this OF said it came after an event of some sort that this scribe wasn’t quick enough to write down. Catching that might indicate the reflex senses are not what they used to be.

One OF thought all our senses tire out as we age; that is why they make hearing aids, glasses, and canes. Another OF agreed with him.

This OF said his mind tells him he can hurry across the street and the OF thinks he is hurrying but all he can manage is the “Tim Conway” shuffle. One OF said that if he has to hurry all he can do is hope he passes gas and get an assisted boost from the pressure release of the gas.

Another OF said, “If wasn’t for that little pressure assist, I couldn’t get out of a chair. Is that natural phenomenon a sense that increases with age or is it a sense at all?”

One OF recited the old farmer saying: “A farting horse is the horse to hire, for a farting horse will never tire.”  To which yet another OF said he has worked behind horses like that.

Calling veterans to parade

For Memorial Day, the Hilltowns of Berne, Knox, Westerlo, and Rensselaerville are having a parade on May 28. If you are a veteran and would like to participate and join some of the OFs, call Zenie Gladieux at 518-894-8589 or, if you are computer literate, you can email her at zeniegladieux@gmail.com and indicate if you want to ride, or prefer to walk, or are in a wheelchair.

Because the OFs are of an age many veterans are, you can indicate if you need assistance getting in or out of a vehicle. The OFs understand this because for many of them walking any distance is a chore, yet for some of them their exercise is taking a walk, while for others just lifting the fork up and down at breakfast is their exercise.

The Old Men of the Mountain who made it to the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg, and none of them who walked to the restaurant, were: Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Bill Lichliter, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Dave Williams, Roger Shafer, Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Chuck Aelesio, Ray Frank, Karl Remmers, Mark Traver, Otis Lawyer, Glenn Patterson, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Herb Bahrmann, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Elwood Vanderbilt, Richard Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.

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— Photo from Guilderland Historical Society

Trained bears and their wandering keepers, very possibly part of a traveling Gypsy group, were photographed as they performed for members of the Cook family, who summered at their farm on Dunnsville Road. Always attracting curious onlookers, the men were hoping for coins to reward their performance.

Any strangers observed passing through Guilderland during the late 19th and early 20th centuries were quickly spotted and carefully observed by the locals who were familiar with their own friends and neighbors. Respectable travelers and salesmen presented no problem, but certain other groups of transients were scrutinized warily: Gypsies, tramps, and thieves.

Gypsies, who today prefer to be called Roma, began immigrating to the United States from eastern Europe in large numbers after 1880. With the arrival of warm weather, bands of Gypsies, moving about in their brightly colored wagons, arrived on country roads, telling fortunes and trading horses.

Local columnists in The Enterprise often noted the presence of Gypsies, signaling to people in nearby communities that Gypsies were nearby and may be heading your way next. As early as 1886, the Guilderland column noted “plenty of Gypsies on the road nowadays.” People living along the Western Turnpike or Schoharie Road, Guilderland’s main roads at that time, were most likely to see outsiders wandering through.

Gypsies were regarded with both fascination and fear. The fascination was fueled by such stories as some printed in the early editions of  The Enterprise with titles like “The Gypsy Queen” (1884), “The Gypsy’s Story” (1887), and “A Gypsy’s Sad Life and Death” (1888).

Their reputation as fortune tellers attracted curious people to seek them out and for a time they set up fortune-telling tents at the Altamont Fair. Their mobile lifestyle, exotic dress, tents, and travel in their painted wagons may have even made local hard-working men and women leading their somewhat dull lives slightly envious of the excitement and constant change of scenery experienced by the Gypsies.

But there was also a dark side that caused communities to be quite wary. This may have been that era’s version of an urban legend, but children were seriously warned to beware of being kidnapped by the Gypsies, especially if there was one of their encampments in the area.

There was also fear of being cheated in sales, particularly that of horses. The story from South Berne of the man there who bargained for a horse from the Gypsies, and only “a few days after found the horse dead in the stable,” was enough to cause area farmers to be reluctant to have any business dealings with the Gypsies. When in 1908 the Guilderland Center correspondent noted that Gypsies were camping just outside the village near Becker’s Bridge, it may have been a coded warning.

Tramps were scorned or pitied

Tramps, the homeless men of that day who made up the second group of wanderers going through town singly or in groups, were greeted by the local residents with varying degrees of pity, scorn, and suspicion.

A Parkers Corners writer questioned, “Who will take care of all the tramps that are traveling the road and stopping at every house? They should be looked after by someone.”

In the opinion of the Fullers correspondent, “The alms house is the place for them.”

In one pathetic case, the body of a man characterized as an “imbecile tramp” who had been wandering in the area acting in a “strange and threatening manner,” was found on James B. Hilton’s farm near Altamont. After the coroner ruled that the unfortunate man probably died in a fit, he was interred in the Potter’s Field portion of Fairview Cemetery.

The Enterprise printed a piece of humor of the day, originating from an outside source written by a man who offered “a tramp suppressing or tramp dispensing device.” He suggested the tramp’s greatest fear is that of soap and water. Forcing a tramp to wash up will cause him to “dance, howl, shriek, and beat against his prison bars.” Once free he’ll make a “beeline” out of town, chalking a mark, warning away other tramps.

Tramps were viewed as nuisances, stopping by homes along the roads to ask for food. Their reputation for chalking mysterious symbols on fences or piling rocks a certain way to signal that food was usually available at this or that house was well known. Sometimes camping on farmers’ land, tramps caused problems as the one that occurred when their campfire set Ira Hurst’s woods on fire.

Suspicion was that, if opportunity presented itself, tramps would steal from householders and farmers. People in Fullers got the warning to “lock up your buildings as three or four old tramps are seen on the road daily.”

“A suspicious character” was noticed lurking around Meadowdale’s general store. Harvey A. Vosburgh, Overseer of the Poor, fed a tramp one night who repaid his hospitality by stealing money from the pocket of Vosburgh’s hired man, then sneaking away. In one of the few cases where a thief was actually apprehended, the tramp was taken before Esq. McKown who sentenced him to three months in the penitentiary.

In quest of a good meal, tramps commonly made thefts of defenseless hens leading many farmers to keep a goose or two whose loud honking would give warning if an unwanted visitor entered the henhouse after dark.

Thieves: local or professional

Reports of thefts occurring in various parts of town were noted in The Enterprise’s local columns sporadically over the years. The perpetrators seemed to fall into three categories: tramps, light fingered locals and professional thieves.

 A Meadowdale housewife, upon discovering a tramp climbing out through a window of her home, gave chase only to have him get away with two gold rings. Many of the petty thefts like this from houses and barns noted in local columns were likely to have been tramps who kept on the move and were never caught.

Some of the thefts were definitely pulled off by local neighbors. Someone absconded with a turkey from Keenholts’ Altamont market. The Village & Town column in the next issue of  The Enterprise carried a sharp warning to the mystery person that he was well know and better either return the turkey or $2 by Saturday or “he will be exposed by one who saw him do it.”

When Emmit Blessing’s watch was stolen from his house, suspicion “pointed to a young man living near here.” Then there was the Guilderland Center man who pulled a switch, substituting an old pump for a new one at H. Van Auken’s well. “We know who you are,” was the blunt statement in the next Guilderland Center column, warning the culprit to return the pump to save himself trouble and embarrassment.

The threat of public humiliation and ruined reputation was probably enough of a deterrent to keep most of the neighbors honest.

Major break-ins must have been the work of professional criminals. Petinger’s Guilderland Center general store was burglarized by blowing open the safe, netting the criminals $35 in silver and a large number of postage stamps.

Another time, burglars used explosives to crack the safe at Guilderland Foundry. For all their effort, their haul was a disappointing $8.

W.S. Pitts’ general store in Altamont was broken into through a side window. The three men who did it carried off a goodly quantity of merchandise and, even though witnesses saw them flee, they managed to get away.

Thieves in McKownville hit the jackpot when in one night they managed to enter the Albany Country Club’s Clubhouse, Witbeck’s Hotel, and the schoolhouse, removing $150 worth of valuable silverware, clothing, and cigars.

In the years before World War I, thefts and break-ins targeted chiefly homes, barns, and businesses, but schools, railroad depots, and St. Lucy’s Chapel were also victims at one time or another. Commonly taken were things like cash, postage stamps, jewelry, men’s clothing and shoes, harnesses, and horse blankets.

But who stole the altar wine from St. Lucy’s? Books were carried off from schools on Settles Hill and from Guilderland, while at Altamont High School the most bizarre loot was pilfered — all the drawing compasses in the school! Various general stores and the foundry had been burglarized multiple times over the years.

Townsmen blustered in print about the consequences if the “miscreants,”  “Midnight marauders,” or the “chicken thief fraternity” were to be apprehended. Threats came from all over town that “house revolvers should be kept handy” and “if captured (he) will be summarily dealt with” or “A warm reception awaits the next company of midnight marauders.”

One man stormed, “If he caught the fellow who did it, he would make it hot for him.” Another advised, “Our citizens should oil their rusty revolvers and be ready for business.”

Frank Spurr seemed to be the only man to actually manage to fire off shots at a fleeing burglar who had broken into the barber shop and store in Guilderland. He missed!

Year by year, in those horse-and-buggy days, life in Guilderland was actually very safe and quiet, but every now and again unwelcome strangers caused some excitement, giving the local residents something interesting to talk about over the back fence, after church, or around the potbelly stove at the local general store.  Comfortable with each other, they did not regard unwelcome strangers kindly.

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What a sunrise on Tuesday morning, March 27! Most of the Old Men of the Mountain mentioned it when they arrived at the Your Way Café in Schoharie.

As the OMOTM funnel into the café from their homes scattered about, they have been on the road from about 6 to 7:30 a.m. and many headed west. At this time of day, the OMOTM encounter many vehicles driving in the other direction on their way to work. One OF suggested these cars should be saluted because they are probably loaded with working people who are contributing to Social Security, which right now keeps the OFs afloat.

One OF mentioned that he had to advise people to stop sending him email, and why they didn’t get any emails from him for awhile was because he was on vacation. Another OF piped up, “On vacation from what?”

This brought the first OF up short, and he was speechless. What was he on vacation from really? The OF has been retired for years. The OF finally came up with, “From you guys. What else?”

This is true if the OFs go someplace exotic for an extended period of time. It is only a trip. The day after the retirement party, the OFs are on vacation, unless they take another job. If the OFs do that, they are not really retired; they have just left one job on the best of terms to go to another.

The OFs have covered this topic before about those who have breakfast with the OFs, but are not quite in that OF category yet. These are the few that are in business for themselves and are attempting to slow down.

Some of these OFs are having trouble accomplishing that because they are good at what they do. Tuesday morning, they discussed how paperwork in New York is making working as an individual entrepreneur harder than the work. On top of this, collecting money for work done is also becoming harder, and even trying to do business with suppliers on a cash-only basis is getting difficult.

As one OF put it, he likes to purchase parts, pay for them, and leave. Some of his suppliers want it done on a credit basis, paperless, and on the computer.

The OF says the suppliers are confused if he orders a couple hundred dollars worth of parts, and hands them two-hundred dollars. The clerk just looks at him with the look of “now what.”

The OF says he has tried it “their way” with some suppliers and “their way” doesn’t work for him. If one of the parts is bad or doesn’t work, he has to return it for another, and if he has to pick up something else while making the trip to the supplier, things start getting wacky.

This has proven to be true especially if he has other items on backorder. Maybe one of these parts has come in, then the wackiness begins to get worse.

Drivers as dunces

The OFs who have had occasion to work at jobs that required them to work on highways around the state started talking about what foolish mistakes drivers make, and they wonder what in the world these drivers were thinking.

One OF said, “That is the key — they weren’t thinking.”

The dangers highway crews face include just doing routine jobs when along comes some dork and drives right into them. Regardless of all the signs and warnings to move one way or the other because there is road work ahead, some drivers just ignore the signs and keep on cruising right toward the work area.

The OFs who have worked on these roads, summer and winter, said that the workers should get hazardous-pay stipends for doing this work. A couple of the OFs commented that it is getting worse because the new cars are practically driving themselves and drivers are unconscious to the fact they are driving a ton-and-a-half guided missile.

If the vehicle becomes out of control, consciously or unconsciously, there is trouble ahead, Matilda.

Hare warfare

When it was time to pay up for our meal, some of the OFs received their bills with a rabbit picture on the back. This started a rabbit battle as to who got a rabbit and who didn’t.

This scribe thought the OFs were going to come to blows over rabbit or no rabbit. It even came down to who got a smiling rabbit, and who got a mad rabbit.

“My rabbit is not a happy rabbit,” an OF muttered.

“At least you got a rabbit; I didn’t get one,” another OF stated.

Then the no-rabbit OFs started to pester the waitress because they wanted a rabbit. Those OFs had to continue with their pouting because they weren’t going to get a rabbit, so they paid their bill and went home.

One OF offered to pay the OF’s bill across from him so he would have rabbit. The other OF wouldn’t swap even though his bill was higher with the rabbit on it.

This all started because at the restaurant there are two young ladies that take and bring out the orders. On one side of the long tables the OFs sit at, the waitress drew little rabbits on the back of the tabs and the other waitress doesn’t.

As one OF noticed he had a rabbit, all the other OFs started looking at the back of their tabs, and the war was on. The odd thing is no one gets to keep the bill; once paid, it is stuck on that spike by the register.

Those Old Men of the Mountain who made it to the Your Way Café, and who did not drive off the road looking at the sunrise were: Harold Guest, Roger Chapman, Bill Lichliter, George Washburn, John Rossmann, Dave Williams, Robie Osterman, Miner Stevens, Roger Shafer, Chuck Aelesio, Ray Frank, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Joe Rack, Jim Heiser, Allan DeFazio, Marty Herzog, Ted Feurer, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Herb Bahrmann, Warren Willsey, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Henry Whipple, Bill Rice, Gerry Chartier, Mike Willsey with middle daughter Amy, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.