Archive » April 2024 » Columns

by Frank L. Palmeri

One time, I got stuck in a doctor’s office with a paucity of reading materials while I endured the inevitable wait to be seen. So I picked up a bridal magazine. Beggars can’t be choosy, haha.

The well-worn magazine was as thick as a catalog. Upon scanning this beast, I realized that everything was about The Dress. It was endless advertisements for dresses, then articles about dresses, then more articles on what goes well with dresses.

Considering all the other topics a potential bride should care about — like marrying the right person — I found this emphasis on only one aspect of marriage to be a little questionable at best and quite distracting at worst. There is much more to getting married than choosing the right dress, obviously.

The reason I bring this up is because, since I started learning to play guitar a few years ago, I look at a lot of guitar magazines. If someone who knew nothing about guitars picked up a guitar magazine, they would think it’s all about The Guitar.

Just like in bridal magazines with The Dress, in guitar magazines it’s pages and pages (though not nearly as many as bridal magazines) of ads for guitars, then articles about guitars, and then articles and ads of what goes well with guitars.

It’s like, if you see a picture of Lindsay Buckingham holding a certain guitar, they want you to think if you buy it you’ll sound like him on one of his many Fleetwood Mac hits. Trust me, it doesn't work that way.

I can’t speak for what brides need besides The Dress, but, after playing guitar now for several years, I can speak for what anyone interested in playing guitar really needs in order to do well on this most versatile and fun instrument.

If you’re retired like me and have a little extra time on your hands, here are 10 things you need to get in order to start playing guitar (wish I’d had this list when I started):

—1. A guitar.

You can get a decent acoustic guitar for around $200. Go to a music store, try out a bunch, and get the one that feels good in your hands. We’re all different sizes and shapes, so take time to find one that fits you.

Sit on a stool or a chair with no arms, thighs parallel to the ground, and put the guitar on your lap. Throw your arm over it and hug it to your chest. It should just feel right.

If it doesn’t, try another one. If you’d like to try an electric guitar, go ahead, but realize then you also need an amplifier and cable. My advice for a beginner would be to start with a simple acoustic guitar, just because you don’t have to worry about electronics when you’re first starting.

Also, even new guitars can benefit from a “setup.” This usually involves lighter strings and some critical adjustments that can make even a low price point guitar sound and, more importantly, feel like a much more expensive one;

— 2. A tuner.

I can show you in two minutes how to tune a guitar to itself, but at some point you’re going to be playing with others, so you need to learn how to properly tune a guitar. You can get a clip-on guitar tuner for $15, or you can use an app on your phone.

No matter how you do it, learning to tune your guitar is essential. Guitars are made of wood, which expands and contracts depending on humidity, so tuning correctly and frequently is a fact of life if you want to play guitar;

— 3. A strap.

Sit with your guitar on a chair with no arms or a stool, thighs parallel to the floor. Once you are comfortable, attach a strap to your guitar, such that when you stand up, the guitar is in the exact same position on your body as when you are sitting down. Doing this will make the transition from playing while sitting to playing while standing much, much easier.

Newer guitar straps have a self-locking feature. If your strap doesn’t, spend a couple of bucks on some strap locks. Having a guitar fall out of your hands while playing is never fun;

— 4. A music stand.

What do these five famous musicians have in common: Eric Clapton, The Beatles, Taylor Swift, Elvis Presley, and Jimmy Page? Despite being master song writers, none of them — not one — knows how to read or write music. They have someone else transcribe it for them.

Don’t be like them. I mean it. If you know the first seven letters of the alphabet and you can count to four, you can learn to read and write music. So get a good music stand and use it when you practice from books, sheet music, or “guitar tab.” You will never regret learning even just the basics of reading and writing music;

— 5. A metronome.

Music is all about rhythm. Without rhythm, there is no music. A metronome lets you develop your sense of rhythm such that you can play with others and keep “the beat.”

Say you’re working on a new chord change or a new piece of music. You set the metronome to something slow, like 40 BPM (Beats Per Minute). The metronome will then emit a beep 40 times per minute, and you can then count and play one-two-three or one-two-three-four or whatever the music calls for.

Once you get that, increase the BPM little by little until you can play it at the speed it calls for or that you want. If you talk to any real musician, they will tell you that using a metronome consistently is key to learning to keep to the beat and play with others. You can find them for around 20 bucks or as an app on your phone;

— 6. A lesson book.

Yes you can bounce around YouTube and find everyone and their sister giving guitar lessons, but a good beginning guitar lesson book is something you can really use well to get better and better at playing guitar.

I’d recommend a group lesson first, like those offered in adult continuing-education courses, and then a good book to work with as you keep practicing. In fact, if you take private lessons, the teacher will often recommend a good book to work with.

Here’s a tip: Whatever book you get, take it to an office-supply store and spend a few bucks to have a spiral binding put in. This will allow the book to lie flat on your music stand, which is a huge help;

— 7. A guitar case.

Sooner or later, you’re going to want to take your guitar on the road. Don’t even think about just throwing it in the back seat or the trunk. Get a good case so it’s protected when you travel.

They come in all price ranges and materials. Shop around and get a good one. Your guitar will thank you very much;

— 8. A guitar stand.

Get a guitar stand to keep your guitar safely stored while not in use. Put it in a place in your house where you’ll see it every day. The more you see it, the more likely you are to pick it up and start practicing or playing.

Big tip: Try to touch the guitar for at least five minutes every day. You will not believe how much consistency helps with learning to play;

— 9. Fingernail maintenance.

If you want to play guitar, accept the fact that you now have fingernail maintenance to worry about. The fingernails on your fretting hand need to be kept short. This allows you to use just the tips of your fingers to fret the notes, which is key to getting a clean, buzz-free sound.

On your picking hand, you want to grow out your nails so you can use them to pick the strings. “Fingerpicking” an acoustic guitar is one of the great joys in life. The price for that joy is near constant fingernail trimming, filing, and cleaning. Artists do have to suffer for their art, haha; and

— 10. Picks.

A pick, or plectrum, is a little piece of plastic shaped like a slice of pie that you use to pick the strings. They come in all kinds of materials and various thicknesses. How can a beginner possibly choose the right one? Get an assortment, they don’t cost much, and find one that is not too soft, not too hard, and feels good to you.

Fun fact: The great Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top uses a good old American quarter to play his many hits. Just find a pick that works for you.

These 10 things are what you need if you want to learn to play the guitar. There is of course one more thing you need — lots of practice — and we’ll talk about that some other time.

If you are interested in learning to play guitar, consider the Guilderland Guitar Group. We meet on the first Wednesday of the month at the Guilderland Public Library in one of the community rooms. There is a lot of competition for these rooms, so the time unfortunately can vary, but we try for 7 p.m. most months. All are welcome, it’s a lot of fun, so stop by, and get your groove on.

Post date: 
April 26, 2024

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by Mary Ellen Johnson

— Photo from the Guilderland Historical Society

Guilderland Center’s churches were not only important in the hamlet for their religious services and organizations such as Sunday School and women’s groups, but also for the socializing that was provided for the community when they held many fundraising events. St Mark’s had socials featuring homemade ice cream on Saturdays in the summer while the Helderberg Reformed Church was famous for its clam bakes. Here church members bake clams, potatoes and corn at the rear of the church.

Countless vehicles pass through Guilderland Center daily, unlike centuries ago when small numbers of Native Americans hunted and fished in this area for the abundant wildlife that abounded along the Black Creek. Change began in the early 18th Century when Palatine Germans on their way to Schoharie trekked along what was likely a Native American trail paralleling the creek.

Within a few years, colonists began to settle along the creek and as early as 1734 it is estimated the earliest section of what is now known as the Freeman House was built. Nearby, the original trail became a narrow dirt road.

A 1767 map of the West Manor of Rensselaerwyck illustrated the road with a dwelling labeled “Robt. Freeman.” This was the beginning of what would become Guilderland Center.

By1788, Barent Mynderse, his family, and probably enslaved people had moved into the house and began to farm the lands that went with it. Census records beginning in 1790 show three or four enslaved persons living and working there.

A Revolutionary War veteran, Mynderse had been awarded freehold ownership instead of being forced to lease the land and pay rent to the Van Rensselaers. The house and sizable farm remained in the Mynderse family until the1860s when it was sold to James Crounse. He and later his son farmed the land into the 20th Century.

On adjoining property, Barent’s son Nicholas constructed what is today known as the Mynderse-Frederick House in 1802, operating it as a store and tavern. A young man of promise, Nicholas was elected the first town supervisor in 1803 when Guilderland was established as a separate town.

A year later, as a member of the Federalist Party, he was elected to the New York State Assembly. Sadly, this promising young man died before his two-year term of office ended in 1805.

It is not clear what happened to the store and tavern next, but probably the Mynderse family continued to operate it or they leased it out to someone else. Eventually, it was sold to Michael Frederick and remained in his family until 1941.

 

19th Century

In the meantime, during the early years of the 19th Century, other farms, houses, and taverns were established along what had become known as the Schoharie Road, passing through the tiny community. At some point during these early years, it became known as “Bangall,” based on old tales.

Supposedly some men, fueled by alcohol, got into a brawl when one is supposed to have cried out, “Don’t stop now, let’s bang them all!!!” Or was it the story of a political dispute that became more and more angry; fists began flying, and afterward, one of the fighting men is said to have exclaimed, “Well, this bangs all.”

By 1831, the population of the little hamlet had grown sizable enough for the United States Post Office to set up the third post office in Guilderland, giving it the name Guilderland Centre, a spelling that lasted until officially changed to “Center” in 1893.

Informally the name Bangall lingered on with the implication that Guilderland Center was a pretty wild place. The 1886 Howell & Tenney History of Albany County noted the Centre was also known as Bangall, “so called from the influences of rum, horse racing and rough manners so prevalent there.”

As late as 1950, a feature story about Guilderland Center in an Albany newspaper was headlined, “Bangall, as the Name Hints, Was a 2-Fisted Place Where Horses Went Fast and Mule Whiskey Faster.”

Improvement came to the rutted dirt Schoharie road, passing through Guilderland Center, when in the 1840s investors had the road planked, renaming it the Albany-Schoharie Turnpike, connecting the Western Turnpike with Schoharie.

Even though tolls were now charged, traffic increased and a regular stagecoach connecting Albany and Schoharie was scheduled. A new hotel and tavern named Centre House was built on the site of what is now the entrance to modern-day Park Guilderland.

The Beers Map of 1866 gave a detailed picture of Guilderland Centre showing someone named W. McMiller operating the Centre House, while M.H. Frederick was operating the Mynderse-Frederick House as a “hotel.” There were two blacksmiths, three stores, a shoe shop, a tailor, a saloon, and a school as well as dwellings.

The 1860s brought change. Once the Albany-Susquehanna Railroad began operation, The Albany-Schoharie Turnpike quickly went out of business and Guilderland Center’s main street became a quiet, local street. A new cobblestone school house was erected.

By the end of the decade, Michael Frederick was definitely in charge of the Centre House, later turning it over to his son William. At the eastern end of the community, the Saratoga & Hudson Railroad was constructed. But it quickly became bankrupt and had little effect on the village.

A welcome addition to the village in 1872 was the building of St. Mark’s Lutheran Church next to the Cobblestone School. A parsonage was erected adjacent to St. Marks. After St. Mark’s closed, it eventually became Centrepoint Church.

Back at the eastern end of the village, the roadbed of the defunct Saratoga & Hudson Railroad became part of the route of the newly constructed New York, West Shore & Buffalo Railroad connecting Weehawken, New Jersey, and Buffalo.

Designed to compete with the New York Central Railroad, eventually the line would become the West Shore Division of the New York Central Railroad. Today the CSX tracks follow the same path through Guilderland Center as these early railroads.

The West Shore brought rapid commercial development to the eastern edge of the hamlet. Soon a small railroad depot was erected and a feed mill was put up. A hay press went into operation, giving farmers the opportunity to earn money selling excess hay. Travelers were served by a new hotel built near the tracks.

A second church was built in 1896 when new churches were erected in Altamont and Guilderland Center, this one retaining the name Helderberg Reformed Church. New houses had been added to the main street and from 1888 to 1899 a cigar factory operated there, replaced by a paint shop when it closed. The building remains today containing apartments.

There were two general stores; the Republican one was operated by Philip Petinger while the Democratic owners of the second were the Van Wormer brothers.

Each served as a village post office, depending on the President’s party, as he made postmaster appointments as his privilege, a tradition lasting until Franklin Delano Roosevelt was in office. Even then, the post office continued in the general store in Guilderland Center until the 1960s.

 

20th Century

A third hotel called Fowler’s Hotel also operated on the main street a few doors west of the Centre House. Otherwise Main Street, as it was called then, had an intermingling of houses and businesses plus three farms. When, in 1901, new owner Seymour Borst purchased the Centre House, the exterior was “modernized,” but it continued to be operated as a tavern and hotel.

In 1915, Philip Petinger and his wife donated a sizable building on Main Street to the town of Guilderland, which may have once been the stables and meeting room for Fowler’s Hotel across the street.

Becoming known as “Town Hall,” it was used for the town’s tiny highway department and after 1918 the fire station for the new Guilderland Center Fire Department. Upstairs was a large meeting room used for political caucuses and as a polling place.

It was put to great use as a community gathering place for all sorts of events. The building was eventually taken down in 1958.

The formation of the Guilderland Fire Department in 1918 was a welcome event not only for Guilderland Center, but for the surrounding area, which was also much in need of fire protection as well. Firemen were called out by the clang of a sledge hammer crashing against a suspended locomotive ring, hanging today in front of the department’s modern firehouse on School Road.

The automotive age immediately led to the first complaints of reckless, speedy driving through the hamlet. Petinger’s store, noting profits to be made, installed the first primitive gas pump in front. The rush to ride in cars led to the decline in rail traffic, which in turn led to passenger service being discontinued on the West Shore by the mid 1920s.

By 1941, the old Cobblestone School was considered inadequate for educating the hamlet’s children with the result students began to be bussed to Voorheesville’s central schools. Guilderland Center students eventually returned to Guilderland after the district had centralized in 1950 and constructed new schools.

Automobile death rates due to collisions at grade-level crossings between cars and trains had become a serious problem, the statistics including a double fatality at the Guilderland Center crossing in 1919 leading to state legislation requiring rail lines to erect overpasses or underpasses at busy crossings.

In Guilderland Center, overpasses were put up in 1927 on what is now Route 146 and at Frenchs Mills Road, now closed. The Route 146 overpass was to the west of the original grade-level road, now dead-end Wagner Road.

Gone were the little West Shore station, the hay press, the hotel and feed mill, the last two having burned in 1926 and 1927.

With international tensions rising in the late 1930s, the federal government quietly began buying up farmland in the vicinity of the railroad tracks stretching toward New Scotland, using eminent domain if necessary.

The plan was to construct a great center for receiving armaments, then reshipping them to coastal ports to be sent overseas for Roosevelt’s Lend Lease program. Formally named the Voorheesville Holding and Reconsignment Center, locally known as the Army Depot, it began operation in late 1941.

Once the United States entered World War II, over 5,000 workers were employed there. Even after the war’s end, the depot continued in operation through the Korean War until finally closing in 1962.

By 1969, it reopened as the Northeastern Industrial Park, which continues in operation to this day.

The community was almost burned by a wind-driven wild fire in 1947. At the western edge of the hamlet, Fruitdale Farm lost 1,000 fruit trees, barns, and equipment, but between the many firefighters who turned out and the water available from the Black Creek, the hamlet was saved.

The early 1950s brought construction of a new community hall and firehouse on what is now called School Road. After the town’s highway department was moved to its present location, the Old Town Hall was demolished in 1958, replaced by a residence.

In 1954, the new Guilderland Junior-Senior High School and the district’s bus garage opened, hence the name School Road.

Huge change was coming in 1969 when Fortunato Realty Company of Long Island purchased Joseph C. Banks’ tavern, originally the Centre House, with 32 acres, announcing they planned to develop a large apartment complex in the midst of Guilderland Center.

With construction underway in 1972, they next proposed a strip mall in front of the apartments. In the meantime, on the opposite corner, Empie’s Store, which once had been Petinger’s, was demolished to be replaced by a gas station.

At this time, the town of Guilderland acquired the historic Mynderse-Frederick House, opening it to the public and as a site for meetings of the newly formed historical society and garden Club. St. Mark’s closed, but is today Centrepoint Church.

Coming in 1985, was the reconstruction of the railroad overpass and a relocation of the entrance to Northeastern Industrial Park from Depot Road to Van Buren Boulevard off of Route 146. The next year brought great loss to the community when an arsonist caused the destruction of the historic Helderberg Reformed Church, replaced by the congregation with a modern church.

Today, except for the endless traffic, the community still retains the air of a country village with the difference that the population has grown and no longer is everyone acquainted with everyone else as they would have been long ago.

Post date: 
April 26, 2024

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by R. Douglas Marshall

The days are getting longer, or at least are starting earlier. Driving west over Cotton Hill Road to Middleburgh on Tuesday morning was a pure joy. I saw the sunrise, I saw deer and turkeys and flowers and green grass and blue skies and of course, the Helderberg Mountains.

By the way, did you know the Helderberg Mountains are 417 million years old? The Rocky Mountains are only 55 to 80 million years old. Maybe we should change our name to the Old Men Of The Old Mountains!

Anyway, it was a good morning to be alive and I was looking forward to joining my OMOTM friends for breakfast at Mrs. K’s Kitchen.

I knew it was going to be a lively breakfast when two of the OFs changed their usual coffee order from decaf to regular, or was it the other way around? At any rate, Angela, who, like all of our favorite people who know how to take care of us as we travel from place to place, knows our names, what kind of coffee we order and what we usually order.

Take me for example; I always have an English muffin with breakfast. Therefore, she had to question them, “Do you really want your coffee that way?”

This placing of our respective breakfast orders moved smoothly into a discussion of how to cook oatmeal. You have to be careful; if left too long in the boiling water, it will boil over and create a mess that you really don’t clean up with one swipe of a paper towel!

One OF was telling a story of someone he knew who made his oatmeal in a cup and put it in the microwave for about four minutes, whereupon another OF exclaimed, “Wow, four minutes? That cup would be really hot! How did he pick the cup up?”

The OF telling the story reached out with his hand and demonstrated the technique by extending his forefinger and thumb and picked up his coffee cup and said “About like this.”

At this point, the table broke out laughing. It is somewhat humorous to read about that exchange, but I have to ask you visualize a couple of OFs sitting at a long table with a bunch of other OFs with their white hair, or no hair, hearing aids and flannel shirts, sort of listening in to this conversation, and then watching one OF extend his arm across the table to demonstrate how to pick up a coffee cup!

And if that visualization doesn't make you at least smile, then try to visualize Tim Conway explaining this to Harvey Korman on the Carol Burnett Show.

 

Old cars

We gracefully moved on from that moment to look at some pictures of an older (1950-ish) Hudson car, which prompted memories of some of the names of the  models that Hudson used for its cars.

I didn’t catch or write down the names but I did hear some of the descriptions, such as, “That was the sedan,” or “That was their fast hot one.”

One of the OFs, who evidently has an older car or two, says he would tell those who he would take for a ride in one of his cars, “Bring a pair of good walking shoes and your cellphone.” I guess some of these cars would take you out, but may not bring you back.

 

Big fish and headless meters

Speaking of cellphone pictures, another OF proudly showed us some pictures of his grandson holding some really big fish he had caught and the OF was heard to say, “Now the student is telling the teacher how it is done!”

One last discussion involved the parking meters in front of Mrs. K’s. Two or three car lengths up the street is a pipe standing there with no meter on top.

That is where this OF likes to park so he can save the 25 cents. Of course another OF asked him if he dropped a quarter down the pipe anyway, quick as a flash the car-parking OF replied “Of course!”

Name game

OK. Time for the Final Paragraph. Going to be different this week. Remember how I sort of messed up a name on the attendance a few weeks ago? And the grief I took for it?

Well, here is your chance, fellow OFs. Can you match the first names with last names of this week’s OFs in attendance?

The attendance list consists of two columns side by side.

The column on the left is called “A.” It contains the first names of those OFs who were here at Mrs. K’s on Tuesday.

The column on the right is called “B.” It contains the last names.

Each row is numbered. Let’s say in column A, row 1 is the name John, and let’s say in column B, row 12, is the name Williams

Row 1: A1 + B12 = John Williams.

If you think that is the right first name (John) that goes with that last name (Williams) then your answer for this row #1 would be A1 + B12. The answer for row 2 might be A2 & B17, and so on. Match the first names from column A with the last names from column B. Don’t write the names, just match column A with column B.

(By the way, John Williams is not allowed to participate. He is too smart and knows everything. Doug Marshall is not allowed either. He is not stupid; he just has the answer key.)

Give me your written answers over the next couple of breakfast meetings, and I will put all the correct answers in a hat or something. The Scribe will draw the winner. There is a very desirable monetary prize for the winner.

 

 

Harold    Whipple
Glenn    Cross
Jake    Norray
Dave    Tozer
George    Bahrmann
Ed    Guiton
Jack    Schenck
Wally    Francis
Elwood    Dab
Mary    Donnelly
Dick    Lichliter
Herb    Vanderbilt
Bill    Rack
Marty    Shafer
Ken    Hodgetts
Lou    Gaul
Paul    Goff
Bob    Herzog
Joe    Feurer
Roger    Washburn
Roland    Parks
Henry    Herzog
Jake    Guest
Ted    Traver
Wayne    Lederman
Gerry    Guest
Pastor Jay    Patterson
John    Dexter

 

 

Post date: 
April 25, 2024

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by R. Douglas Marshall

— Photo by Cynthia St. Jean

The Diamond Ring Effect: R. Douglas Marshall’s daughter took this photograph on April 8 at Sugarloaf Mountain in Maine’s Carrabassett Valley.

MIDDLEBURGH — We met the day after the April 8 eclipse. This clearly was the topic of the day at the Middleburgh Diner, with pictures being passed around from just about every OF present.

I showed off the iconic picture of a total eclipse that my daughter took from the Sugarloaf Ski Resort in Maine. She said it was a totally cloudless day with a blue sky, perfect for watching and taking pictures of the eclipse.

I will quote from her email to me that kind of sums up the whole experience. “When the totality was about to hit, there were shimmers on the snow, waves of light,” she wrote. “It was really cold when the sun was hidden, and a very surreal twilight time, with a 360 degree sunset on the horizon. Just the most amazing thing.”

One of the funniest comments of the morning came early on before many of the OFs had arrived and it was made by one OF expressing his concern for all the farmers having to run around putting the special eclipse glasses on all their cows!

Later I heard someone say, “The cows don’t care.”

Someone else didn’t think the sheep cared either. Very serious discussions these OMOTM engage in at times.

We all had the similar experience of good viewing early with very few clouds, and then, just as the big moment was arriving, so did the clouds! We here in the mountains, up and away from the Hudson and Mohawk river valleys, had some really good and clear views of the 97-percent total eclipse.

Kind of appropriate in a way, the clouds came just at the peak of the eclipse, thus making it seem darker than it might otherwise have been. Then the clouds sort of broke up and came and went while we enjoyed the moon exiting stage left.

We did get to see the eclipse at around 95 to 96 percent; I don’t suppose we could have really seen the difference between 95 percent and 97 percent anyhow.

Since we were pretty much all stay-at-home OFs, we did indulge in some head shaking when talking about the people who traveled hundreds of miles or more, getting married, or even getting in an airplane to get above the clouds, all to get a good view.

Then, after all that, there was the heavy traffic to deal with going home. Witness what my daughter and her husband did, driving from Manchester, New Hampshire to Sugarloaf Mountain in Maine; they just stayed a few nights in their Solis Pocket van in the Sugarloaf parking lot until traffic had passed. But that really is a great picture!

 

From handlebars to fishing poles

The conversations did turn back to the regular topics of springtime with which the OMOTM are much more comfortable, such as motorcycles and fishing boats and bird feeders.

As an example, one OF said he either has ordered or is thinking about ordering new handlebars for his cycle. The new handlebars would be somewhat taller and closer together than the regular stock ones that are on the bike now.

This prompted the question by a non-biker about how this would help or hinder the bike’s handling on corners.

I didn’t hear the answer because another OF was talking about putting grape jelly out with the bird feeders specifically for Baltimore orioles. He says they love it and he buys many jars of grape jelly each year.

So, by the time I got through listening to the grape jelly / Baltimore oriole discussion, the motorcycle-raised-handlebar question was answered and had moved on to fishing boats. Not just any old bass fishing boats mind you, but serious boats equipped with down riggers, trolling motors, full canvas so as to go fishing in inclement weather with a little heater for when it got cold and with at least a 150 horsepower engine.

This craft is probably somewhat bigger than the average bass boat or regular (whatever that would be) fishing boat found on Thompsons or Warners Lake. I have no idea how the conversation went from handlebars to fishing poles so fast.

 

Interpreting noise levels

Last week, an OF made two interesting comments, or at least they were interesting to me. The first comment was about how comparatively quiet it was at that particular moment.

“Must be everyone is eating,” he said.

The second comment was, of course, a little while later. He observed that it was pretty noisy, “Must be all done eating; it’s getting noisy in here. Must be about time I went home.”

I put that to the test this week; sure enough, the OMOTM breakfast can be divided into three segments: noisy, not nearly so noisy, and noisy. Just goes to show, there is always something to learn at an OMOTM Tuesday morning breakfast. You just gotta listen.

Don’t forget, here comes the Final Paragraph for this week and the Scribe and the Pinch Hitter have something planned for next week’s Final Paragraph. Here is a hint or two or three or four: It is painless, could be fun, might be hard, definitely different! Oh, one more hint, it can't be done at one breakfast, at least two, maybe three before it is over.

Those OFs who contribute so much of their wealth of mostly useless information who enjoyed their breakfast at the Middleburgh Diner were Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Miner Stevens, Ed Goff, Paul Whitbeck, Marty Herzog, Russ Pokorny, Jake Herzog, George Washburn, Wm Lichliter, Gerry Cross, Jack Norray, Herb Bahrmann, and me.

Post date: 
April 19, 2024

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by R. Douglas Marshall

PRINCETOWN — This week, the OMOTM gathered at Chris's Chuck Wagon Diner in Princetown. We were treated to another fantastic sunrise which portends some lousy weather is on the way to us, but not before we enjoyed another fine breakfast with plenty of fresh hot coffee delivered to us almost before we sat down.

This feat is made flawlessly and routinely by Ron, who received a special proclamation praising his efforts that was read out loud in front of the entire group. Congratulations to Ron; he certainly deserves it. If we OMOTM don’t have our good, hot coffee before, during, and then after breakfast, we get grumpy, and, as I have told you before, you know what happens when the OFs get grumpy. It is not pretty.

Along with acknowledging the great service from Ron, we had a truly extra-special surprise to all of the OMOTM: John R. Williams, the Scribe himself, walked in and sat down in his regular spot and ordered breakfast after first receiving his hot cup of coffee from you know who!

I don’t want to over-do this, or be too dramatic, but it did take the Scribe some time to eat his breakfast while being welcomed back by a roomful of smiling and happy OFs, who were very glad to see him where he belongs on a Tuesday morning.

The Pinch Hitter, me, was among those welcoming the Scribe back. I handed him the list of OFs present and my notes of the meeting. I should say I tried to hand him these things, as he politely declined my attempts to retire back to the bench. Let me just tell the regular readers of this column a quick story concerning the Scribe that happened just today.

A regular customer at the Chuck Wagon, Richard R., happened to be eating breakfast there this morning. He took note of the group of OFs, 27 of us this morning, in the other room eating breakfast and having a good time.

He recognized us for, as he put it in an email to the editor of The Altamont Enterprise, “He had only read about The Legendary OMOTM!” and here they were! He even said he thought about asking for autographs! That would have been fun.

The point I am trying to make is this: The OMOTM are what they are because of two things, one, because The Altamont Enterprise has been printing this column for all these years and two, because the Scribe, John Williams, has been writing this column for all these years. If any one OF is legendary, it is you, Scribe, it is you.

 

Pipe-wrench magnet

One of the OFs had what looked like a bright red miniature pipe wrench (about the size of a large ballpoint pen) in his shirt pocket. I think it was probably a manufacturer’s advertising give-away. I think there was a thermometer located at the other end.

He took it out of his pocket and showed it around the table. Then another OF came by and sat down close by and promptly asked about the bright red miniature pipe wrench in his pocket. Our OF took the “pipe wrench” out of his shirt pocket and showed it to the newcomer and put it back in his pocket.

A few minutes later, you guessed it, yet another OF stopped by to ask a question to someone at the table and noticed the “red pipe wrench” in the shirt pocket and, of course, asked about it.

Again, the OF pulled it out and explained all about it and, as he was putting it back into his shirt pocket, he commented that he had no idea that his little red pipe wrench/thermometer advertising give-away gimmick would be the object of so much conversation.

I wonder if the manufacturer had as much success attracting attention with his advertising give-away as the OF got by having it in his pocket Tuesday morning.

 

Snowbird adventure

A couple of OFs are headed to Florida in the next couple of weeks for a taste of spring and some warm sunshine, as compared to what we are looking at around here for the next few days. This prompted questions about where exactly they were going in Florida — east coast, west coast, etc.

One OF said he used to drive his mother down to Sanibel Island, Florida right after Thanksgiving and then would drive her back in the spring. He bragged about never receiving a speeding ticket in the 10 years or so he made this trip — although he did admit he deserved a few.

He told the story about once, when he was driving through the mountains in Pennsylvania on a four-lane divided highway, he was passing a slower car that was in the passing lane, on the right as they were going around a curve right into a trooper with a radar gun.

The trooper looked up and saw two cars, side by side, one car had a nice young man driving his gray-haired mother in her little baby blue Cadillac in the right lane, and the other car was in the left lane.

The trooper knew somebody was speeding and assumed it had to be the guy in the left passing lane. The OF did slow down and told his mother that he just got caught speeding.

Sure enough, the trooper pulled out with his lights flashing, caught up with them and promptly pulled the slow-moving car that was in the left passing lane over! The OF could just imagine the conversation that occurred between the trooper and the man in the slow car!

All in all, it was another really great breakfast as we welcomed the Scribe back and acknowledged the fine contributions of Ron to our breakfast enjoyment. Tuesday's OFs included John Williams, Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Miner Stevens, Frank Fuss, Marty Herzog, Russ Pokorny, Roger Shafer, Roland Tozer, Jake Herzog, Pastor Jay Francis, John Dab, George Washburn, Wm Lichliter, Michael Kruzinski, Dave Hodgetts, Paul Guiton, Bob Donnelly, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Joe Rack, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Cross, Henry Whipple, Herb Bahrman, and me.

Post date: 
April 11, 2024

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by Kartik Nath

As we progress through life, we are expected to do everything: go to school, get a good education, cultivate a career, raise a family, and so on. With so many things to do and only 24 hours in a day, to fit more into the day, what do we sacrifice? Sleep.
Personally, as a medical student, I and my colleagues were bombarded with so much schoolwork and expected to participate in extracurricular activities that I found myself sacrificing sleep to keep up with everything.

Once I started prioritizing sleep, I found myself more alert, in better moods, with less aches and pains, and I had better school performance. Therefore, I want to convince you that sleep is so important!

Sacrificing sleep is not healthy, especially for older adults.

Why should we care about sleep? According to the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute, sleep helps promote growth and repair in the body, and decreases the risk of developing chronic conditions such as heart disease, high blood pressure, and stroke. Sleep promotes healthy brain functioning!

According to a review published in MEDtube Science, during the sleep phase, the brain “recharges itself,” clearing out detrimental waste products and promoting memory formation. Therefore, sleep should be thought of as maintenance for the body, something that protects our vital organ systems.

It is important to recognize that sleep disorders plague the older population. According to a review published in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, over 30 percent of older adults report insomnia symptoms.

Insomnia is a real problem for older adults: It encompasses issues falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up a lot at night. This can lead to feeling very sleepy throughout the day, which can affect your daily routine.

Be careful with using pharmacological sleep aids or other medicines. Rather, it is important to develop good habits to promote better sleep.

Here are some tips offered by the National Institutes of Aging to promote healthy sleep habits that will help you be at your best every day:

— Try to get seven to nine hours of sleep per night;

— Maintain a schedule and develop a bedtime routine;

— Avoid long naps in the afternoon;

— Avoid television or using smartphones/tablets/computers right before bed;

— Avoid exercise, eating large meals, or caffeine close to bedtime; and

— Ensure that you have a safe place to sleep. Keep your phone charged, home secure, keep a flashlight with you, and do small things to help you feel comfortable.

If you have any issues with sleep, please seek out your health-care provider or other resources. Maintaining good sleep can help you function your best and prevent the development of chronic conditions down the road.

****

Community Caregivers is a not-for-profit agency supported by community donations and grants from the Albany County Department for Aging, the New York State Department of Health and Office for the Aging, and the United States Administration on Aging.

Editor’s note: Kartik Nath, a Community Caregivers volunteer, is a student at Albany Medical College who is slated to graduate in 2026.

Post date: 
April 11, 2024

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by Dennis Sullivan

People who read are constantly asking other people who read what they’re reading — unless they're part of a book club, then everyone knows. 

Speaking of book clubs, the Voorheesville Public Library has had one since 1996 when Suzanne Fisher invited the community to share her love of literature at monthly meetings.

Suzanne was among a small group of librarians The New York Times picked as the best librarians in the United States in 2005. A plaque recognizing her honor hangs in the foyer of the Voorheesville Library.  

And from one who’s interviewed Voorheesville librarians from the earliest days, I’d say Suzanne’s recognition is no small thing.

I remain amazed at the enthusiasm of book-clubbers; kudos to them and every other soul who views books as an integral part of life. 

Book-lovers can speak intelligently about the classics (Ovid’s “Metamorphoses,” James Joyce, and the like) as well as appreciate the book as an object of art. Their interest is not just first editions but the feel of a book’s paper, its dust jacket, the width of its margins, the typeface, even the quality of its index.

When I’ve had a say in how a book would look, I pushed for margins wide enough for the reader to open up a lounge chair to sit and enjoy the show of life — which is what all literature is about.

Book clubs or not, what every American in the country should be reading right now is some insightful work on the life of Julius Caesar — the Rubicon guy, the Gaius who brought the Roman Republic down, the man who destroyed Rome’s democracy to set himself up as king.

And because the republics of Rome and the United States are so often compared, Americans would do well to study how that man managed to destroy a nation’s centuries-old political structure — because a sizeable portion of Americans today are working hard to bring the American republic down.

If he were here right now, General Julius would say he was just the last straw in a bale of politico-fascist generals — like Cornelius Sulla and Lucius Cornelius Cinna (Caesar’s father-in-law) — who already had Rome on her knees. 

The latter two butchered the human flesh of any soul who differed politically; Sulla slaughtered thousands and then hung the heads of the dead on pikes stretched across the Forum.  

And Caesar had the gall to give a blow-by-blow description — in Commentarii de Bello Civili — of him slaughtering fellow citizens to become top dog in the ancient world.

It must ne’er be forgotten that it was he, not Augustus, who was Rome’s first emperor/king. (He had a little Richard Nixon in him.)

TRIGGER ALERT! Or maybe the correct phrase is caveat lector, which means “let the reader beware of a con,” because last spring a book of mine came out on none other than Julius Caesar. My colleague at The Enterprise, Sean Mulkerrin, introduced it to our readers.

The title of the book is “Veni, Vidi, Trucidavi: Caesar the Killer, The Man Who Destroyed Nations So He Might Be King.”

The first part is a play on Caesar’s oft-quoted slogan Veni Vidi Vici — which the people of Rome first saw on a placard on a float in a parade down Rome’s main street to honor the general’s victory over King Pharnaces II of Pontus at the Battle of Zela in 47. 

The three fricative v’s of Veni, Vidi, Vici sound like the badda-bing of a TV commercial. Remember, Caesar was Italian. Badda-boom.

And scholars are still unsure if Caesar or one of his minions created the text but it did reflect his view of power.

Years ago, every student in any accredited academic high school in America — they didn’t even have to take Latin — knew Veni, Vidi, Vici — maybe not its political implications but had heard it said.

And yet, when I talked to people after my book came out — I conducted a little survey — my subjects said they never heard the phrase and, when I translated it into English, one or two said it sounded vaguely familiar.

By veni Caesar was letting the Senate know he got to the place they had assigned him — for the purpose of waging war. The veni of course is Latin and means “I arrived.” 

The vidi means “I saw,” by which Caesar was saying that, when he arrived at the front, he saw a way Rome could exterminate the blood-poisoning vermin enemy bar-bar without making a dent in the city’s coffers.

And vici is, “Once I got the Roman war machine going, the bar-bars were done faster than a soft-boiled egg.”  (An accurate translation.) 

The viewers of Caesar’s parade that day — which the Romans called a triumph — were stunned at the hubris; he was saying, “See how fast I brought a king down, step out of line and you’re next.”   

The title of my book is a play on the three V’s except, instead of vici, I use trucidavi — the Latin verb to slaughter — thus “I came, I saw, I slaughtered.” By the time of the parade, Caesar was already Rome’s slaughterer-in-chief having destroyed untold tribes (sovereign nations!) in Gaul for nine consecutive years. In my book, I call Caesar carnifex Gallorum, the butcher of the peoples of France.

He carnifexed as well tribes in Germany, Spain, Britain, Portugal, the Netherlands, and elsewhere.

In the 25th chapter of Book Seven of his “Natural History,” Pliny the Elder says, “I would not myself count it to his [Caesar’s] glory that in addition to conquering his fellow-citizens [in a civil war] he killed in his battles 1,192,000 human beings, a prodigious even if unavoidable wrong inflicted on the human race, as he himself confessed it to be by not publishing the casualties of the civil wars.” 

That million number puts the general in the league of Mao, Stalin, and even Hitler.

And for all the light the ancient documents still shine on the man, it’s hard to get hold of a personality that’s rife with such complexity of thought; the scholar who’s gotten closest is the Swiss-German classical historian Matthias Gelzer (1886-1974) in his “Caesar, der Politiker und Staatsmann” which appeared in German in 1921. How embarrassing it took until 1968 before the English “Caesar: Politician and Statesman” came out.

Toward the end of this classic (page 290), Gelzer says that, once the general had the commonweal under his thumb, “the number of decrees which he [Caesar] issued was so great that there was not enough time to keep to the usual complicated procedure …  he often shortened the transactions of the Senate by simply informing the senior members of what he was going to do and, if he called a meeting of the whole body, he simply announced his decisions and without any discussion, they were entered in the archives as senatorial decrees.” 

Caesar didn’t care if you were a red state or blue state, he wanted control of your Roman body a là Michel Foucault.

He decreed that no one could travel outside of Rome but, if it did happen, how long the traveler could stay; then he started telling his fellow Romans the kinds of clothes they could wear. 

The great historian Suetonius (Div 43.1-2) says he outlawed “litters [taxi cabs] and the wearing of scarlet robes or pearls to all except those of a designated position and age, and on set days.”   

He moved in for the kill when he made decrees “against extravagance, [which included] stationing watchmen in various parts of the market, to seize and bring to him dainties which were exposed for sale in violation of the law … sometimes he sent … soldiers to take from a dining-room any articles which had escaped the vigilance of his watchmen, even after they had been served.” 

Imagine sitting at home eating dinner and a soldier barges in and rips from your mouth the piece of pork you’re chewing on; you can see why Brutus and Cassius planned a surprise party for the fascist on the Ides of March.

How sad that, in the United States of America today, two-thousand years later, we have Julius Caesar Redux in our midst; it’s just as Yogi predicted, “déjà vu all over again.”

Post date: 
April 11, 2024

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by John Rowen

— Photo by C. Borts

Colin Borst displays a selection of the sizes and colors of Zebra midge nymphs. The larger flies are size 14, the smaller ones are size 18.

My 2024 trout fishing season started, paradoxically, indoors.

For the last few years, Black Dog Outdoor Sports in Glenville has hosted a “Fly Tying Social” in the months before fishing starts. I started attending the social in 2023. The experience improved my fly-tying skills. It also allowed me to tie some fly patterns that met local fishing conditions better than commercially tied flies

This year, at a February session of the social, I sat next to Josh Lazarus. When I mentioned a chance to fish in Colorado, he said, “The Zebra midge nymph pattern is effective in Colorado waters.” A nymph, for readers new to angling, is a fly that is fished below the water, like a lure or bait.

By the time of the Colorado trip, I had tied two Zebra midges and had a few that my friend Dennis Greninger gave me. While fishing a number 12 black Zebra midge on a front Range river in Colorado, I caught and released a nice cutthroat trout.

If a person wants to fish with more than one fly, to see what the most attractive fly is to a fish — or to use a dry fly as a strike indicator for a wet fly, many fly-fishing books advise preparing a leader with one or two pieces of monofilament extending from the main leader. 

This is done by tying each section of the leader with a surgeon’s knot and leaving four to six inches of leader sticking out from the knot, instead of cutting it off. A fly can then be tied at the end of the leader and then one or two flies can be tied on the extended piece or pieces of the leader. These are called “dropper flies.”

In Colorado, the staff at St. Peter’s Fly Shop advised another way to fish with more than one fly. They suggested tying the larger of two flies to the end of the leader, tying a segment of leader to the bend of that fly’s hook and then tying a smaller fly at the end of this piece of leader.

While fishing in Colorado, I had the number 12 Zebra midge as the larger fly and a number 20 Dorsey’s Top-Secret Midge as the smaller fly, with the Top-Secret Midge joined to the larger fly with a piece of leader tied to the bend of the number 12 Zebra midge. 

On April 2, when back in New York, I decided on the spur of the moment to go fishing on a Rensselaer County stream. I did not want to stop for worms and use my usual plan of fishing with a spinning reel and worms. I wanted to just go and I grabbed all the tackle from the Colorado trip.

Many Rensselaer County streams were running high, fast, and discolored from the recent snow and rain. However, I found a spot high up in the watershed of a small stream where the water moved more slowly and was not so high and discolored.

After what seemed like the jillion-th cast, and when I was ready to reel in, I lifted the rod tip — and suddenly felt a fish on the end of the line!

A six-inch brown trout had taken the Top-Secret Midge. While releasing the fish, I lost the fly. 

In the great tradition of angling detection, I decided that, if the fish took a small fly, I should try another small fly. I tied on one of the number 16 Zebra Midges, tied in red material, that Dennis had given me.

In quick succession, I caught and released two small brook trout. Unlike the brown trout that subtly took the Top-Secret Midge, the brook trout took Dennis’s Zebra Midge with a strong hit, similar to the way a trout will take a lure or bait. 

After releasing the second fish, I left the pool, assuming the commotion caused any other fish to stop feeding. 

Arriving at another stream, I saw high, fast, and discolored water up close. This stream, which has pleasant flows and many “trouty” looking places to fish during most of the year, was a flat sheet of fast water that was impossible to wade. After a few casts near the bank, I reeled in and went home.

The Zebra midge is a good fly to include in a fly box. It is a very easy fly to tie. If you are not as lucky as I was to have sat next to an experienced fly-tyer such as Josh, there are many instructional videos for this fly on YouTube. 

If you do not tie your own flies, Black Dog Outdoor Sports stocks this fly in different sizes and colors. When I called the store last week to see if it stocked the fly, Colin Borst told me that the bins containing the Zebra midge are labeled “hot fly.” 

It was satisfying to write this column and relive the fun and surprise of catching the fish described above. It was also satisfying to catch a fish on a fly that I tied myself and to catch other fish on a fly that my friend Dennis had tied.

More importantly, for readers, my experiences suggest general factors to increase your success in early season trout fishing. 

First, before leaving, have a Plan A, a Plan B, and maybe even a Plan C for places to fish. If your first destination is not fishable, your trip is less likely to be a washout.

Second, be willing to experiment. Nearly all of us drive when we fish. Even a compact car has room for extra gear. If you like to fly fish, take a spinning rod and some lures or bait. If you like to spin fish and have a fly rod, take that. If one method does not work, perhaps the other will.

Finally, even if it does not look like a great day to fish, if you have the time, go anyway. With preparation and luck, you may have more success than you expect!

Post date: 
April 11, 2024

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by R. Douglas Marshall

DELANSON — By the end of March, most of OMOTM are ready for winter to be over and we are looking forward to the warm weather and sunshine. So when last weekend's rain / sleet / ice / snow storm arrived, it really didn't bother us too much that most of the storm with its 18 inches of snow went just a little north of us.

Sure, we had some power outages, and some ice, but most of us only had four to six inches of snow and brief power interruptions. It did, however, provide us with the excuse to run the gas out of the snowblower one last time before the end of the season.

A couple of OFs did have issues with their heating systems however. We have been around for a while and have, over the course of our lifetimes, dealt with our furnace issues ourselves.

For the most part, the systems are so dependable and trouble free that we sort of take them for granted. Until they stop working. Then we get cold. Then we turn up the thermostat with negative results. We get colder.

Knowing that we really do not know very much, if anything, about the heating system, we set out to fix it anyway. Just like we did 15 or 20 years ago. Is it working? No. Got power? Yes.

Oh, look, there is a little door thing. What is behind it? How do I open it? Oh, OK, the hinge is on the bottom, I guess I’ll pull down from the top. Good, it is open.

What do I see? A flashing blinking light; wonder what that means? Probably not good. Wait, what is that little red button over there next to the word “Reset?” OK, I'll press it. Flashing light stops, heating system starts running. This is a good thing.

The next two steps are critically important to the whole project. The first step is to close that little door, straighten up and tuck your shirt in.

The second step is to make sure it is still running; if it is, then stand straighter, shoulders back, chest out, walk confidently into the room with the fireplace and announce that it is all going to be OK, you have fixed the heating system and have saved the day. Again.

You are still the hero she married so long ago. All is good. Until the washing machine breaks. The OMOTM don’t even know where that is located, and what is that big thing next to it? Oh, the dryer.

 

When a steak dinner

cost a dollar

One of the OFs brought in a show-and-tell prop for the memory discussions. It was the menu from the late 1950s for Mike’s Log Cabin on North Swan Street in Albany.

Several OFs remembered Mike’s as a popular watering hole where they didn’t check too closely about your age. Back in those days, the drinking age was 18!

You had to be 18 years old to drive at night so they must have assumed that if you drove there, you were old enough to drink. Worked for us!

A bottle of Bud was 35 cents, Schaefer was 30. A steak dinner with French fries and a vegetable was $1.00. Shrimp cocktail was 65 cents and a hamburger was 25 cents. This started a lot of memories, as you can imagine.

 

Good old days?

One OF recalled a summer job he had at Thacher Park. He would get there early in the morning and his job was picking up stuff to make the pool area look good.

One morning, he came upon a couple who were engaged in some research involving what they had learned in Biology 101 — not Advanced Biology mind you, just freshman 101 Biology. The stuff you learn in summer jobs!

Somehow this led the conversation to early TVs. Small black-and-white screens packaged in great big cabinets with only three or four channels, if you could adjust the rabbit-ear antennas just right.

You actually had to get up and walk to the TV to change the channel and then adjust the antenna each time. We found out that aluminum foil worked pretty good to help the reception.

Those great big cabinets held a whole bunch of tubes, which took a while to warm up and, when one would go bad, you had to try to figure out which one it was and replace it. This was a trial-and-error method that required several trips to the TV store to test the tubes.

If you had a great big 21-inch TV, you were very popular. Of course, it took two men and a boy to carry or move one of those TVs!

Good old days? Not so much. Some things are better today. However, Biology 101 remains as popular as ever today. Why is that?

 

Well wishes

On a much more serious note, one of our more senior members, Mike Willsey, fell and broke his leg this past weekend. He had already had an operation to replace the ball in his hip (the socket did not need replacement) and Mike is recovering at St. Peter’s Hospital in Albany.

Warren tells me that his father will soon be terrorizing the nurses in the finest tradition of the Old Men Of the Mountain. We were sorry to hear of Mike’s fall and we all wish him the speediest of recoveries.

There is a rumor floating around that involves the attendance report. This rumor, which only the Scribe and the Pinch Hitter know about at present, will manifest itself in a few weeks and will involve all the OMOTM present at a particular breakfast. Maybe even those OFs not present.

At any rate, we had a nice turnout of OFs on March 26 at Gibby’s Diner in Delanson / Duanesburg, and they were; Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Ed Goff, Pastor Jay Francis, Marty Herzog, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Jake Lederman, Ed Feurer, Wayne Gaul, Frank Fuss, Miner Stevens, Jake Herzog, George Washburn, William Lichliter, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Joe Rack, Ken Parkes, Lou Schenck, John Dab, Paul Guiton, Gerry Cross, Jack Norray, Bob Donnelly, Dave Hodgetts, Herb Bahrmann, Nick Smith, Michael Kruzinski, Henry Whipple, and me.

Post date: 
April 5, 2024

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— Photo from Frank L. Palmeri

Frank L. Palmeri is learning to put on his firefighting gear in less than two minutes.

Imagine for a moment that you are a man getting ready to attend a wedding. You hop out of the shower and quickly run a comb through your hair (sorry ladies; it really is that easy for us). Then you begin getting dressed:

— Put on underwear, undershirt, and socks;

— Put on dress shirt;

— Put on pants, tuck shirt in;

— Put on belt;

— Put on tie;

— Put on jacket and maybe a pocket square to match the tie;

— Put wallet, keys, comb, phone, and lucky rabbit’s foot in pockets; and

— Put on shoes.

Pretty straightforward, right? Now imagine you had to do all that in two minutes or less. Think you could do it?

The reason I ask is because I’m doing something very similar in my volunteer firefighter training. It’s called “donning and doffing,” and it is a huge skill that all firefighters need to master. Let’s talk about donning first.

At the firehouse, each firefighter has a locker or cubby where all their “turnout gear” sits waiting for the next call-out. This is the fire-safety clothing and other equipment that we use when responding to a call.

The idea with donning, if you make it all the way to Class A interior firefighter, is to put it all on and be “breathing air” — that is, breathing from a backpack mounted compressed air tank known as SCBA (Self Contained Breathing Apparatus) — in two minutes or less.

I’m currently training to be a Class B exterior firefighter, but I’m aspiring to Class A, so I have practiced donning all the gear many times at this point. My best time was 2 minutes and 25 seconds, so I have some work to do.

Why is there such an emphasis on getting fully dressed in such a short time? Well, a fire can double in size every 30 seconds. Truly, when talking about fighting fires, every second counts. Donning all the gear rapidly and efficiently can be a matter of life and death.

 

Donning

When it comes to donning, each firefighter has little tricks and techniques that help him or her beat the two-minute deadline. I’m so new at this that I’m still finding my way. But here is the procedure I use.

This assumes you are standing in your street clothes, with all your turnout gear laying on the floor in front of you:

— Remove your shoes (slip-on, slip-off shoes are the way to go);

— Put on hood (looks like a ski mask that also covers the neck);

— Step into firefighting boots;

— Pull up bunker pants (they were stored around the boots);

— Fasten waist closures;

— Pull up and fasten suspenders;

— Put on jacket (normal way or overhead flip);

— Secure jacket front up to neck;

— Secure jacket neck protector;

— Turn on the SCBA pack air supply valve;

— Place arms in pack straps, throw pack over your head, secure it on shoulders;

— Jump up in the air while at the same time tugging shoulder straps down to secure backpack high up;

— Tighten pack waist belt;

— Put on face mask and tighten the straps to make an airtight seal;

— Tug hood over face mask on top of head;

— Put on helmet, tighten straps;

— Put on gloves; and

— Install MMR (Mask-Mounted Regulator) from pack onto face mask and rotate ninety degrees.

If you did all of that correctly — hopefully in two minutes or less — you are now breathing air from the tank mounted on your back, and you are ready to go inside burning buildings or attend other events like car fires where toxic gasses are being produced.

Depending on how fit you are and how much air you consume, you have anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes of breathable air to work with.

When you’re on air and running low, the pack has several ways to warn you and your fellow firefighters, from flashing lights to ear piercing alarms. It is not uncommon for a firefighter with his air running low to have his dwindling air tank replaced with a full one by another firefighter so he or she can continue the job.

Also, if one firefighter is running low on air, he or she can piggyback air from another firefighter with a hose and coupling that is included with the pack. That’s a great feature that can potentially save a fellow firefighter’s life.

Each pack also has a PASS (Personal Alert Safety System) alarm. Just hit the red button and a shrieking alarm sound lets others know you need help. What a great feature that is.

There are some guys in Guilderland who have been in volunteer firefighting since they were teenagers. A couple of them told me, when they were young, they could do the donning in less than one minute. Imagine that!

I don’t have the advantage of youth anymore, but there is this mantra from none other than the United States Navy Seals: “Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.” My hope is that a lot of practice will get me to smooth, which will then get me, hopefully, to fast. We shall see.

 

Doffing

Now let’s talk about “doffing.” This is taking all the clothing and equipment off, but there’s a lot more to it than that.

If you were at a fire or other event where toxic gasses were produced, virtually all of your gear needs to be washed and dried. Thankfully, the firehouse has a washer and dryer just for this purpose.

Once your gear is cleaned, dried, and checked out, the idea is to replace it in your stall or cubby such that it is ready to go again at a moment’s notice: pants lowered around boots, helmet and mask ready to go, gloves and hood within easy reach, etc.

The more orderly you are, the more efficient you can be. I just hope no one from the firehouse comes to my house and sees my messy closet, haha.

Currently there are several of us here in Guilderland training at the same time. The training is at a different location, so when we go we have to take packs off a designated apparatus (truck).

This is not really a problem — the remaining trucks have plenty of packs in case a call-out should occur — but in a perfect world there would be training packs available, so in-service packs wouldn’t have to be disturbed.

Unfortunately, everything in firefighting is large, heavy, and expensive. I doubt there are many volunteer fire companies who have the luxury of providing duplicate equipment just for training purposes.

You might be thinking at this point, these packs must be replaced periodically for safety reasons, so why not just save the old, worn-out packs for training? Well, since air packs are critical for the safety of working firemen and firewomen, it would never be appropriate to train with worn-out equipment.

There is just too much at stake. This business is hard enough as it is without worrying about using equipment that is past its service life.

 

The right thing to do

If you have any interest in becoming a volunteer firefighter, you should go down to your local firehouse and talk to the fine people there. You may think you’re too old or don’t have enough skill, experience, or time.

Trust me, I’m old and I had zero experience in this area. If I can do it, so can you.

Volunteer firefighting companies also have auxiliaries, open to women and men also, for folks who just want to support the fire company by helping out with meals, supporting us at events, and many other ways. The auxiliary rocks.

Even if you don’t feel like volunteering, be sure to support those chicken barbecues, Sunday morning breakfasts, flower sales, and other fundraisers that volunteer fire companies frequently do. Every little bit helps in firefighter outreach, retention, training and many other ways. Supporting your local volunteer fire company is just the right thing to do.

Last night, I had just crawled into bed after returning from three hours of firefighter training. Shortly thereafter, the pager let me know that power lines were down at one of the local golf courses.

I got out of bed, put on my pants and shirt (backwards, I might add) and shot down to the firehouse. By the time I got there, one truck had already left, and my crew was on the second truck raring to go when we were notified by radio that the scene had been secured, the utility company was on their way, and we could stand down.

When the first truck returned to the station, we washed it and then had an impromptu staff meeting. All of this after 10 p.m. on a weeknight, when many of these unbelievably dedicated men and women had to work the next day.

The fact that there are so many folks, just regular people, who are willing to get out of bed at all hours of the night to help their fellow community members just blows me away. Good on you, my fellow volunteer firefighters.

I sure hope I can learn to do my donning in under two minutes. Wish me luck.

Post date: 
April 5, 2024

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