Archive » February 2024 » Columns

— Photo from Frank L. Palmeri

Knots, from top to bottom, are clove hitch, fireman’s rescue knot, figure eight on a bight, and sheet bend.

I learned about Boy Scouts while growing up by seeing them on TV shows or reading about them in books. Yet, as far as I know, no one in my family was involved in scouting, no one in my neighborhood either, and no one in any school I attended.

We lived on the borderline between Brooklyn and Queens in the East New York area. That’s a lot of territory, so I’m sure there had to be some scouting going on there, but I never saw it.

As an adult, I did scouting for a few years with my son. The good thing about scouting is the quality father-son time that you get. There is also camping, making new friends, and the skills the kids learn.

Not so sure about the Pinewood Derby, though. I’ve seen too many fathers go to such extremes to win that I wonder what the kids even get out of it at this point. Still, scouting in principle is no doubt a great thing for boys and young men to do with their fathers.

The reason I’m thinking about scouting today is it would have been so handy for me now if I’d have done it. That’s because, as a volunteer firefighter in training, I’m now learning all about ropes and knots.

It would have been so wonderful if I’d have had at least some of these skills already. That would have been one less thing to worry about among the quite extensive training that I’m doing.

Ropes and knots are very important in firefighting. Having these skills can save lives. No joke.

Firefighters are expected to be able to use these skills to haul tools all over the place, tie things down properly, and most importantly, potentially drag someone out of a bad situation. That’s how critical rope and knot skills are.

A rope is strongest when it’s totally straight. Any curve or bend in a rope reduces its strength. That’s why firefighters are always looking for the simplest knots that will do the job.

The simpler the knot — the fewer turns and bends in it — makes for a stronger overall rope. Plus, a simpler knot is easier to untie. That is really important in the heat of the moment, no pun intended.

How does one go about learning to tie knots? A lot of people are visual learners. They need to watch something done to see how it works.

If you’re like that, you can go on the internet and see how every knot is made by all kinds of folks. Unfortunately for me, I’m not a visual learner. I can watch somebody tie a knot, but often they do it so fast I just can’t follow it.

I need to have the making of the knot explained to me in clearly defined words. In fact, if someone was able to clearly state how to tie a new knot to me, I’m sure I’d be able to tie it without even having seen what it looks like first. That is just how my brain works.

It’s just like when I ask my harmonica-playing buddies how they did some “rad” technique on the “harp.” They always say, “I don’t know how I do it, I just do it.”

Some guys — farmers, boaters, and firemen, of course — have been working with rope and knots for decades, and it’s just embedded in their muscle memory at this point. That’s great for them, but I still have to learn how to tie these knots efficiently and effectively.

So now I practice guitar-playing and knot-making every day. Good thing I’m retired.

Four knots

Let’s look at the four knots I made in the picture. On the top, attached to the piece of pipe, is the classic clove-hitch knot.

This knot is so versatile, strong, and easy to make that it’s a mainstay in the fire services, and often becomes a part of more complex knots. Once you learn it, you’ll be surprised at how often it comes in handy for tying things down. The clove hitch is a truly great knot.

The second knot from the top is the fireman’s rescue knot. This knot looks like handcuffs. The idea is you can wrap it around someone’s wrists and pull them out of a dangerous area.

That works and it’s something every firefighter is trained to do, but it does put a lot of strain on a person's wrists. From working with computers for 40 years I’m probably pre pre-carpal tunnel in my wrists at this point, so I’m not sure I’d want to be dragged around with this knot.

Fortunately, besides rope, firefighters also carry strong nylon webbing, like the kind used in ratchet straps, which can be wrapped around a person’s torso and under his or her arms. That might be a better way to pull someone out in many cases.

The third knot from the top is a figure eight on a bight. When you are talking about knots, a bight is any big loop. This knot is very easy to tie and untie, strong, and versatile. It can be used to tie things down, haul things up, etc. Another all-around great knot.

The bottom knot in the picture is a sheet bend. A bend is any knot that unites two ropes. This knot is used to tie ropes or cords of different diameters, like a clothesline and a shoelace, together to make a longer one. Very handy.

Teach knots to kids

These are only some of the knots I’m expected to know how to make. Note that it’s one thing to make these knots in the comfort of your living room while drinking a cup of coffee.

The real challenge is to do them in the cold and dark, while wearing thick fireproof gloves, in the heat of the moment. That is why fire-service professionals have to get to the point where rope and knot skills are just muscle memory. Knowing these skills down pat is that important when you’re talking about saving people’s lives.

When you finish making any knot, you should “dress” the knot. This involves making sure all the elements of the knot are in their proper place, all the slack is removed, and the knot is positioned properly.

Then you apply a little pressure to the knot to make sure it’s stable before you ask it to take the full load. If you think at this point that there is a lot to learn about working with ropes and knots, you would be correct.

I didn’t have the good fortune of being involved in scouting at an early age, so I’m having to learn rope and knot skills for the first time now.

This got me thinking: Why aren’t these kinds of valuable life skills taught to kids in grade school as a matter of course?

Rope and knot skills are really, really handy to have. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just made a big, nasty mess of a knot to tie something down that was inherently weak — too many turns — and impossible to untie.

How I wish I’d have learned these skills when I was younger. All kids, not just the ones who have the benefit of being in scouting, should be taught these skills, period. There is no reason “knot” to, haha.

I always say that, when I volunteer for anything, I get more out of it than I put into it. Doing volunteer firefighting has opened up the fascinating world of ropes and knots to me in a big way. Fantastic.

SCHOHARIE — The snow storm that wasn’t. There are times when the OMOTM are really glad that they are who they are and not those trying to predict what track Mother Nature will take with a particular snow storm.

We expect these meteorologists to tell us how many inches of snow we will get down in the valley, compared to up here in the mountains and Hilltowns. We expect them to tell us when the storm will start and when it will end, and to do all of this days in advance and to do it with 100-percent accuracy. No mistakes, no changing the forecast. Good luck with that.

Then we get this system. From the get-go, this was a problem. Will the storm track take the storm far enough south of us with the result being little or no snow? Will it track a little farther north resulting in a few inches of snow, to as much as a foot or more?

Every day, it seemed like the track would move north, then move back south. Add to all this, there are several different weather-expert agencies from all over the place each predicting their own version of what is going to happen when.

The OMOTM don’t have to try to predict the weather; we just have to remember where to show up for breakfast on Tuesdays. This Tuesday it was the Your Way Café in Schoharie. Next week, it will be Gibby’s.

A nice group of us traveled to breakfast over clear and dry roads with smiles on our faces and more than a little amount of relief that there was not a flake of snow to be found anywhere!

The lack of snow and cold this winter did initiate a discussion of how seasonal businesses cope with this season’s unusual weather. If the weather is too warm, there is no ice on the lakes, no snow on the mountain, so those folks who bought a new plow for their pickup truck so they can plow driveways and parking lots are just sitting idle. But they still have to pay the bill for the plow.

Then there are all the companies who stocked up on their winter inventories of products for work or play. Products ranging from a simple snow shovel or ice skates, to snowshoes and skis all the way to big-ticket items like snow blowers and snowmobiles. 

All of this is not limited to wintertime. How about the farmers? A great many OMOTM are more than a little knowledgeable about this topic.

We talked about the service industry, those who earn a living fixing stuff like boat engines or lawn mowers or air-conditioners. We even mentioned all the seasonal workers such as the resort personnel who work at the ski resort restaurants and on and on.

 

Old cats

Such serious talk was thankfully replaced by much more interesting and light-hearted topics such as the advanced age some cats reach. Stories of cats who “adopted” a particular garage but you couldn't get near them, feral cats, I believe.

They would leave food for them, which they ate, but they could never get them to come inside their house. In fact, they really rarely ever saw them.

A couple of OFs  told of their cats reaching well into their 20s. Those were the domestic cats, not the feral cats. Feral cats don’t live very long.

 

A tale of two mailboxes

One OF related the saga of his driveway(s) and mailboxes. Seems this OF has a large lot with several hundred feet of frontage.

At one end of the lot he has a small shop building and at the other end of the property, he built his house. He has a long driveway to his house at one end of his lot, as it is set back from the road quite a ways, and a short driveway ( two or three car lengths) to the shop building, which is located close to the road at the other end.

He was informed in short order that there can only be one driveway per lot. But he needed both.

So as the driveway issues were being worked out, the post office decided that the one mailbox, which was in place for a decade or so, was in a dangerous location for the postal-delivery person and would have to be moved to a safer location.

So the OF moved the mailbox and all was well for another decade. 

Then the post office said that the house was one address and the shop was a different address and mail for one address could not be put into a mailbox of another address. OK, so the OF put up another mailbox — and the story of great postal service and a happy OF postal customer has continued unchecked for another decade.

All is well for the moment; just don’t breathe.

Have I mentioned that there was another learning curve of information regarding culverts and driveways? No? Another story for another time in the life and times of the OMOTM.

Those OMOTM who gathered at the Your Way Café without a snowflake in sight were: Harold Guest, Wally Quest, Roger Shafer, Joe Rack, MarkTraver, Glenn Ptterson, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Elwood Vanderbilt, Bob Donnely, Miner Stevens, Bill Lichliter, Frank Fuss, Marty Herzog, Ed Goff, Rick LaGrange, Jake Herzog, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Cross, John Dabs, Paul Guiton, and me.

— Photo from 58th Presidential Inaugural Committee

The crowd at President Donald Trump’s 2017 inauguration, above, was sparse compared to the crowd at Barack Obama’s 2009 inauguration, estimated at 1.8 million, which filled all of the white rectangular spaces, flowing into the treed areas on either side.

One of the most celebrated research experiments in the field of social psychology is a series of studies the Polish-born Gestalt psychologist Solomon Asch began conducting in 1951 with 50 male students at Swarthmore, a small liberal arts college 10 miles southwest of Philly.

The published results of the experiment and various responses to its findings make up a literature that is referred to as the “Asch conformity experiments” or “the Asch paradigm.”

A lot of psychologists — even people on the street — were interested in the “conformity” aspect of the research because a Cold War was going on at the time and there was considerable talk about brainwashing as a way to control people’s minds.

Asch wanted to know what takes place in the psyche of a person who sees something, is asked to say what he just saw, and then says the exact opposite of what his eyes described — the eyes physical entities that ground us in reality — in other words, why would a person lie about something he knows to be true? 

If Asch used the parlance of today he would say “the liar” was not only treasonous but a generator of “alternative facts,” alternative facts being a gateway drug to fascism.

Asch first shared what he did at Swarthmore in a journal article called “Effects of group pressure on the modification and distortion of judgments.” He describes how the experiment took place in an ordinary conference room where, around a large rectangular table, he situated eight men who had agreed to participate in a psychology “vision test.”

The subjects were told they would be shown pictures on a placard — Picture One to the left and Picture Two beside it — and, after viewing both, were to say what in Picture Two was exactly the same as what was in Picture One. And the content of Picture One was nothing more than a black vertical line against a blank background.

Picture Two had three lines: one was shorter than the line in Picture One, one was longer, and the third exactly the same. The subjects had to call out A, B, or C; it was not a heavy lift.

At Swarthmore, the subjects saw 18 trials, that is, were shown 18 cards one after the other where the length of the line in Picture One varied as well as two of the lines in Picture Two but the third always matched the line in Picture One.

And since eight subjects made a judgment for 18 trials, 144 judgments were made in all. Plus, Asch had the study going on at three other universities in addition to the one at Swarthmore.

But here is the first wrinkle in the story: Before the eight students went into the experiment room, Asch secretly took seven aside and told them — hush-hush — they were going to be part of the research team; they were told what the experiment was all about, that the “vision test” would be rigged, and it was they who were going to rig it by picking a line in Picture Two that did not match the line in Picture One — they were told to speak their choice with confidence and no hesitation.

The purpose of the project was to see whether the eighth subject whom they would meet in the experiment room shortly — a foil or dupe — would go along with their crazy choices and deny the veracity of his own eyes.

All the dupe knew was that he would take part in an experiment with seven other students, that the group would be shown pictures — Picture One and Picture Two — and after scanning them, would make a judgment about their contents.

The research team arranged the seating so the dupe was at the end of the table and the last to voice his opinion.

Here’s the second wrinkle: When the first two sets of pictures were shown, the seven confederates picked the line in Picture Two that was the perfect match for the line in Picture One. They did not lie, so the dupe was led to believe the test a no-brainer.

But, starting with the third set of cards, the seven confederates dissimulated, picking the wrong line in Picture Two trial after trial, and their boldness in saying so rattled the dupe who began questioning his own eyes.

What takes place in a person’s mind who decides to cave to a lie?

And it should be pointed out that none of Asch’s subjects suffered from a visual disability like agnosia, which would radically alter what they saw. (I have in mind a patient of the late great neurologist Oliver Sacks who suffered from agnosia and once, after leaving Sacks’s office, grabbed his wife’s head thinking it was his hat on the hat rack — which Sacks describes in his wonderful book “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat.”)

When Asch examined all his data together, he saw, “One-third of all the estimates in the critical group [the critical group being the dupes] were errors identical with or in the direction of the distorted estimates of the majority [the lies of the confederates].” That is, a third of the time the dupe denied what his eyes were telling him.

But more importantly perhaps was that Asch found “one quarter of the subjects [dupes] were completely independent and never agreed with the erroneous judgments of the majority.” They believed what their eyes said and mustered the courage “to recover from doubt and to re-establish their equilibrium … it was their obligation to call the play as they saw it.”

In several of his trials Asch introduced a ringer, a subject who disagreed with the confederates outright — which gave the dupe the courage to speak the truth as well.

And to test whether caving under pressure was the operative variable, Asch assembled a control group of subjects who were told they could write down their responses in private — under these conditions the dupes made a correct judgment 99 percent of the time.

As a social psychologist, Asch had to limit his conclusions to what took place in the experiment room; he never extrapolated to a family, a neighborhood, community, or society where a group or groups of people publicly contradict what people say they’re seeing — and when power’s involved — the contradiction has the force of a command.

On Saturday, Jan. 21, 2017, the day after Donald Trump was inaugurated as president of the United States, his side-show man, Sean Spicer, came to the mic and said the president drew the biggest crowd in inauguration history — even though photos taken from the Washington Monument the day before showed Trump’s crowd paled severely in comparison to the president’s before him.

When NBC’s Chuck Todd asked the new president’s other side-show sophist, Kellyanne Conway, why Spicer would lie like that, she said, “Don’t be so overly dramatic about it, Chuck. You’re saying it’s a falsehood, and they’re giving — our press secretary, Sean Spicer, gave alternative facts.” 

The man behind the Orwellian lie added, “What you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening” as if a confederate in Asch’s study.

Trump’s crime is not that he stuck a knife in the heart of the American Republic but that he took that knife and slashed the DNA of homo sapiens — a species whose eyes have evolved to near perfection in seeing what sits before them. The dupes threw over the advances of human evolution.

The result, as we know, is half a country that suffers from fascist aphasia aggravated by the fact that so many of the sufferers have nothing to lose. 

Some days I wake up and feel like a French existentialist imprisoned in a fifties film noire called “No Exit.”

— Photo from the Guilderland Historical Society

Fort Hunter School as it was is shown with the 1935 two-room school and the 1953 eleven-classroom building attached. Within a year of opening, it was overcrowded. However, with a later decline in enrollment, this building was closed in 1972 and demolished in 1999. Today a senior apartment complex stands on the Carman Road site.

V-E Day, V-J Day, the war was over, the boys were returning home! And the babies started coming, and coming — the Baby Boom had begun.

Guilderland was one of New York’s many rural communities that quickly experienced rapid housing development and population growth in the post-war years. Yet townspeople were still relying on an antiquated education system of one- and two-room common schools with Altamont the only Union Free District offering an old, overcrowded high school.

The late 1940s found Guilderland’s schools jammed with children also attending classes in church or school basements, in one case in a private home or being bused out of town to Draper and Bigsbee schools in Rotterdam, or Schenectady, or Albany and Voorheesville schools.

The time had come for a serious discussion about uniting the 10 school districts of Altamont, Dunnsville, Fort Hunter, Fullers, Guilderland, Guilderland Center, McKownville, North Bethlehem, Osborn Corners, and Parkers Corners.

A steering committee, having been organized, aimed to put centralization to a vote by July 1950. In advance, a series of informational public meetings emphasized the need for better schools as well as a discussion of the costs.

The proposal presented at these public meetings included a junior-senior high school with three elementary schools — at Fort Hunter, Altamont, and McKownville — to cost $2,600,000 to be raised by a bond issue. A petition had been sent to the state’s education commissioner to set a date to vote on the proposal to centralize the 10 districts into Guilderland Central School District, No.2.

Scheduled for June 20, 1950, from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., a public meeting to vote on the proposal to centralize was to take place at the Brownell Bros. Albany-Schenectady Bus Line Inc. garage in Guilderland Village. If the measure passed, a school board was to be elected at the meeting.

When the votes were counted, out of the 2,007 cast, 1,302 were in favor with 703 opposed and 2 void votes. A board of education was then elected with 1-, 2-, and 3-year terms to be led by William D. Borden.

The original 10 districts turned over any surplus funds to the new central district. Ralph Westervelt, principal of Altamont High School, was named supervising principal of the new district at a salary of $5,500.

Teachers would be kept on, but would begin in September 1950 to earn years toward tenure, although any teacher with five or more years in one of the 10 districts would be given one year toward tenure. A second vote in September agreed to the purchase of five new school buses for a total of $31,000.

 

Planning

In the meantime, 56 volunteers formed the Citizen Planning Committee, dividing into five subcommittees, which worked on the areas relating to population growth, facilities, program, finance, and public relations.

They suggested three new elementary schools to serve kindergarten through sixth grade. The committee found the current Altamont school building “wasn’t adaptable.” In McKownville and in Fort Hunter, the two-room schools built in 1935 were to be used.

Students in grades 7 to 12 would attend a new junior-senior high school, site to be determined.

The committee did not recommend one K-12 school, but rather favored community elementary schools for a variety of reasons. “The District is in a strategic area, when all of our children might be exposed to a single bomb attack if housed in one school,” the committee said.

This thinking may seem ludicrous today, but was made when the trauma of World War II still lingered, the Korean War was raging, and Joseph Stalin’s Soviet Union had recently developed the atomic bomb, while in the midst of Guilderland was a very active Army depot.

These reports were sent to households followed by four informational meetings in different parts of town. Citizens’ main questions revolved around taxation issues and building sites, 18 of which had been reviewed by one of the subcommittees. Considerations were drainage, adequate water supply, preparation of the site for building, and access to public transportation.

 

Opposition

Remember those 703 voters opposed to centralizing the ten districts? They hadn’t gone anywhere.

A group of them, chiefly Westmere residents under the leadership of two men, George E. Craft and Edward T. Zeronda, had hired attorney Thomas J. Mahoney to represent them in dealings with the board of education.

The district’s annual meeting, held at the bus garage, showed the undercurrent of opposition from the Westmere group whose leaders kept claiming to favor centralization, but opposed higher taxes.

A $60,000 surplus the board had hoped to save as a “cushion” to keep taxes lower once building began was voted down by a big margin, the attitude being, “Why should present residents who may move away pay for something to be used by others, some of them newcomers?”

The sites to be voted on, on July 24, included a very few acres to add to the school property at the existing Fort Hunter School.

The McKownville K-6 choice was either the Van Loan parcel on Route 20 opposite the intersection with Fuller Road or the Loeper site on Johnston Road in Westmere.

The junior-senior high school choice was between the Matulewicz site in Guilderland Center or the Crapser-Mattice-Heckroth site at McCormacks Corners. This site at McCormacks Corners would have to be legally condemned because the owner of the largest parcel was reluctant to sell.

Shortly before the site vote, a large paid notice appeared in the July 13 Enterprise placed by Marvin Armstrong, a disgruntled man who was anxious to sell his parcel west of the Crapser site further out Route 20.

He led off with the real-estate plans the Crapser-Mattice interests had in place for land that would be condemned, stating, “The owners plan to fight to the last ditch. Maybe they will lose, but it will be costly to the district.”

Of his own acreage on offer, Armstrong asked, “Wouldn’t it be better than gamble on a comparable site at possibly FOUR OR FIVE TIMES THE COST?”

A response from the board’s counsel, Borden H. Mills, noted that Armstrong’s site had ravines needing extensive grading, lacked a reliable water supply, and was not on a public-service route plus the further distance meant longer times on school buses coming from the outer areas of the district.

Voters on July 24 chose the Matulewicz site in Guilderland Center for the junior-senior high and the Loeber site on Johnston Road for the McKownville K-6 school, approving the purchase the few acres at Fort Hunter plus a bond issue for the purchases.

Out of 1,550 votes cast, there were 270 void on the elementary school vote and 243 void votes on the junior-senior high sites.

The Westmere group’s leaders immediately challenged the outcome, claiming site ballots were “ambiguous and confusing” and “did not give a fair chance to vote in the negative.” The appeal to overturn the election was sent to the state’s education commissioner.

The Westmere men claimed their citizens group had “widespread support in the community” with the citizens group opposed to “the high costs.” The discontented taxpayers claimed there should be a “compromise,” admitting the present education was “wholly inadequate,” but that centralized proposals were “financially unrealistic.”

Board Counsel Borden H. Mills contradicted the contention that the ballots were “flawed” with the wording published in three different newspapers previous to the voting.

Then he commented on a mimeographed sheet labeled “School Taxes” left at his home shortly before the site vote which urged in large type: “VOTE NO – ALL THE WAY.”

 

Revote

After a Sept. 10 hearing, Education Commissioner James Edward Allen Jr., who later served as President Richard Nixon’s Commissioner of Education, set aside the votes for both the McKownville elementary and the junior-senior high sites, the basis for his decision being, “voters desiring one site did not have the chance to vote against the other.”

He ruled he must see the sealed votes to determine if the Fort Hunter and bond issue votes stood. Later he upheld these two results.

In October, the Guilderland School Board set Nov. 14 for the second vote to choose sites.

In the meantime, the Citizens Planning Committee extended an invitation to the Westmere men whose appeal to the commissioner had thrown out the original vote to discuss the question at a public town meeting where they were arranging a moderator.

The group’s spokesman refused any discussion at this time being as “unwise and not conducive to an understanding.”

The attorney for the Westmere group, whether expressing his own ideas or giving voice to the group’s members, suggested putting all the elementary students in the Fort Hunter school and cutting the cost of the junior-senior high school. Quickly rejected because too many small children would have very long bus rides, it was never considered.

On Nov. 14, not only was the choice simpler, but an actual sample ballot was published, unlike the previous vote on sites when the ballots were more complicated.

Days before the vote, the school board recommended a “yes” vote, reassuring voters that, even though the Matulewicz site was adjacent to the Army depot, they should have no fear of it being bombed.

This time, it was either “yes” or “no” on purchasing the 19-acre Loeber site for the elementary school and the 62-acre Matulewicz site for both the junior-senior high school and a bus garage. When all the votes were tallied, 965 voted in favor while 388 were opposed and 13 ballots were void.

 

New schools open

Plans for the new school buildings were released in January 1952 with a bond issue vote planned to fund their construction. School floor plans and exterior images of finished buildings plus a 12-bus garage were published.

The bond issue totaled $3,204,900.

This time, voting at Guilderland’s Willow Street School on March 1, there were 1,406 votes cast with 1,232 voting yes with only 164 voting no and 10 void ballots.

By September 1953, the Fort Hunter, Altamont, and McKownville-Westmere elementary schools opened. Although there was still completion work to be done, it did not interfere with the educational program.

The days of the one-room schools had ended.

For one more year, secondary students would be sent out to Draper, Albany, Voorheesville, or Schenectady. Finally, in September 1954, Guilderland Junior-Senior High School opened when 650 seventh- through 12th-graders arrived at a school with the most up-to-date facilities.

With the explosive student growth over the next years, these schools were soon overcrowded and the bond issue and building process had to begin anew.

It had been “an uphill effort” to centralize and provide modern education facilities and programs for Guilderland’s rapidly growing school population.

From the vote to centralize to finally opening four new schools, it was thanks to the efforts of volunteers from school board members, committee members, and all those people who helped with the various votes that had taken place to accomplish this.

Board members of that day — who dealt with questions of whether or not to include agriculture as a high school program or dealt with fear of bombing raids — could hardly imagine the issues facing today’s board of education.

However, there has been one constant from 1950 to the present day: disgruntled taxpayers.

MIDDLEBURGH — Sunshine! Finally, we see the sun and blue skies but we felt the February chill of winter as the OMOTM woke up to temperatures in the mid-teens. Besides that, it is still dark at 5:30 a.m. and there is still plenty of white stuff around with more to surely arrive before winter releases us from its grip as this is only the beginning of February.

We journeyed to Mrs K’s Kitchen this week. Next week, we will meet at the Your Way Café in Schoharie followed by Gibby’s Diner before finishing up our northerly trek at the Chuck Wagon.

During last week’s breakfast there was a comment, or maybe two, that the size of the print in the email that was sent to all of the OFs was kind of small and maybe it should be a little larger which would make it easier to read. So this week, the email font size was increased — substantially.

Now the comments were not about the size of the words, but rather the amount of paper it took to print out a copy of the column so they could save it and add it to the ever-growing pile of saved OMOTM columns. 

This led to a general discussion of saving stuff like this column, and the National Geographic magazine or Playboy (for the articles) for years.

Other OFs agreed with stories of family reunions, and saving the lists of relatives and getting copies of photographs of the current and past relatives that usually wind up in a drawer at best, or a box at worst, to be brought out when next we meet.

That led to the popular topic of researching our own ancestry, using one of several methods currently available on the web, like Ancestry.com that some of the OMOTM are using.

 

Competitive

bird-watching

Many of the OFs have bird feeders in the winter, which give us enjoyment as we watch all the different species of birds. Several OFs would write down the different kinds of birds that we could identify.

It is a substantial list by the end of winter and spring arrives. Because some OMOTM are somewhat competitive, they would notice that their friends and neighbors might have more birds at their feeders than they had, which would prompt another trip to the local feed store to buy the latest and greatest in seeds and feeders.

One thing that one OF enjoyed doing was to put their Christmas tree out on the deck after the holidays, and throw a bunch of different kinds of seed in it. The birds loved it.

His back deck was up one story because he had a walk-out basement, which he thought attracted more birds. When a hawk or other predator bird was in the area, he always knew it because all the little birds would suddenly disappear into the Christmas tree and be very still until the danger had passed.

He also put out water in a heated tray, which might have attracted more birds than the food. It certainly attracted the squirrels.

One year, he had a wild female turkey fly in to eat and drink, then she would glide down to the ground to eat the seeds that fell from the feeders. She hung around for a couple of weeks.

There were some large shrubs and pine trees in his yard that the birds would stay in at night and when the predators were around. His family called those bushes “the Dormitories.”

There would be dozens of birds of many species in those co-ed dorms at any given time, especially after a snow storm when there would be only two or three entrances. He said it was fun watching the constant comings and goings of the different birds from those limited number of openings. It was a safe haven for them, and they sure knew it.

Sometimes there is competition for the bird food, such as squirrels, raccoons, big birds versus little birds — and just before, and right after, hibernation, the occasional bear. How to deal with those issues is a story left for a future column.

 

Staying strong

Exercise was a topic at the table. These OMOTM were not particularly concerned with losing weight, but more along the lines of losing our balance.

The OFs really don’t like falling down. It can hurt, and it is embarrassing.

It has been pretty well established that the proper exercise can help this situation a lot. And guess what, there is a whole industry devoted to helping us accomplish becoming much less susceptible to falling due to lack of balance.

It’s OK to slip on a banana peel; just don't fall because we lose our balance for the hell of it.

From long ago, do you remember the little tests the “Officer” might ask us to perform, like balancing on one foot, or walking in a straight line? Some of us had trouble with that when we were young and stone-cold sober, and now that we are “senior citizens” — anyway, exercise just may be a really good thing.

The clumsy, unbalanced OMOTM who enjoyed good conversation and great food on Tuesday morning were: Wally Guest, Harold Guest, Ed Goff, Rick LaGrange, Mark Traver, Glen Patterson, Joe Rack, Wayne Gaul, Jake Lederman, Ted Feurer, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Roland Tozer, George Washburn, Michael Kruzinski, Bill Lichliter, Jake Herzog, Marty Herzog, Herb Bahrmann, Lou Schenck, Dick Dexter, Jack Norray, Gerry Cross, Bob Donnelly, Dave Hodgetts, Elwood Vanderbilt, Paul Guiton, John Dab, and me.

Just about my entire family recently went to Florida to get some fun in the sun and hang out with the grandkids. This means I had to “batch it” for two whole weeks.

I couldn’t join everyone at the big beach rental house because I’m heavily involved in volunteer firefighter training these days. I did go last year, and I’ll probably go next year, but for now, duty calls.

So, bachelor life for me for two whole weeks. What a change after 38 years of marriage.

I actually have a lot of things to keep me busy all year round, but especially in the winter. So with my wife gone I had a lot of time for practicing guitar, ordering motorcycle parts, and fixing things around the house.

I was able to read several books which is always good, and even try out a few recipes. A good bachelor tip: Even when cooking for one, cook the entire recipe. Then you have leftovers for some other nights. Cook, make a mess, clean, and eat. Then for the other nights just eat. Gotta love that.

What about laundry while my better half was gone? Good question.

Rather than try and figure out the whole process, I just stretched out the time I would wear my pants, T-shirts, etc. By changing less often, I was able to go the entire two weeks without doing laundry.

“But Frank,” you ask, “you did at least wash the sheets on the bed, didn’t you?”

No, I did not. Me and the bedbugs got along perfectly fine the entire time, thank you very much.

I did vacuum and mop the floor, so it’s not like I’m a total slouch. I figure, I do the cars and motorcycles, the house repair, and the outside work. She gets the bills and the laundry. We share the cooking. Works for me.

So everything was going fine during my two-week-long bachelor sojourn when, very faintly, I started to hear some crying. I stopped in my tracks to really listen, and sure enough, it was the sound of someone crying.

Right away, I got my phone out to see if somehow I had some kind of inane cat video playing. But that wasn’t it. So then I walked around the house to try and find out where the crying was coming from.

Then I found it: The crying sound was coming from the garage. I went in, and there was my wife’s Honda Insight, having a total meltdown:

“Waagh, waagh, waagh.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I miss Charlotte! Boohoohoo!”

“Hey, I miss her too, but suck it up. She’ll be back soon.”

I really miss her! Sobsobsob.”

“Look, I miss having the three of us in bed at night, but she has to be allowed to vacation with the grandkids.”

“What do you mean, three of you in bed? Is something going on that I don’t know about?”

“No, just that I miss having the three of us in bed at night: Charlotte, me, and my CPAP hose. Now it’s just me and my hose, all alone, and, if that sounds pretty bad, let me assure you it’s even worse.”

“Yeah, that does sound pathetic.”

“Still, you don’t see me crying and coming all undone like you.”

“But I miss how she drives me.”

“Oh yeah? I kind of got the feeling that she spends so much time running all over creation doing errands and whatnot that you were getting sick of her.”

“Not at all. For one thing, she drives very carefully. In fact, did you know she was Driver of the Year in high school?”

“Yes, I’ve been told that numerous times. Mostly after I cut someone off or tailgate, haha.”

“So you already know how she drives. She never speeds, she never tailgates, and she always has either the classical station or the Christian station on the radio. Oh, how I miss her! BooHooHoo, sobsobsob!”

“Look, I feel your pain. How about I take you out for a ride today? There’s supposed to be a new Chick-Fil-A in the area. Let’s go there for lunch and see what all the hype’s about.”

“No.”

“No? What do you mean, no? I’m offering to take you on a nice ride to a nice place for lunch. What’s wrong with that?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes, I really do?”

“Promise you won’t get mad?”

“For Pete’s sake, what could a 2019 Honda Insight possibly say to me to get me mad?”

“OK, then. I don’t want you driving me for three reasons. One, you drive too fast. Two, you play my radio too loud. And three, worst of all, you pass too much gas, and I don’t mean driving by gas stations, either.”

“Ouch. Let’s go through them one by one. Truly, I don’t drive nearly as fast as I used to, but I certainly drive faster than Charlotte, so you’ve got me there. As for the radio, what are you supposed to do when ZZ Top comes on? Rock ’n’ roll, baby! As for the gas thing, all I can say is, when people get older their digestive systems don’t always work the way they used to.”

“You’re telling me! Half the time I’m dying here!”

“Please forgive me. I’m trying a new fiber supplement that I hope will solve this particular problem.”

“Listen, I didn’t mean to upset you. I actually like it when you do my oil changes. Not only do you take the time to warm up my engine so the old oil gets nice and hot and flows out easily, but you always put rubber protection on my CV joint boots so they’ll last longer and keep my delicate joints in great shape. Not even dealerships or quickie lube joints do that during an oil change.”

“Glad you appreciate it. You actually have given Charlotte great service over the years, so it’s an honor to take care of you.”

“I just hope she comes back home soon.”

“You and me both. Now stop crying and let’s go grab some chicken for lunch.”

“You did take that fiber supplement?”

“Yes.”

“OK, let’s go.”

Bachelor life for a couple of weeks during the dead of winter while everyone parties in Florida is all right by me. It’s cold, I’m old, but, for at least a little while, I get to be bold. Rock on! 

Snow storm. While not a full-blown Nor’easter, it was big enough to test the winter driving skills of any of the OFs if they happened to be out between football games on Sunday. But when you want some pizza, you want some pizza!

Sunday’s snow made Monday the Let’s See If the Snowblower Still Works Day. Sometimes I feel as if it is a race to see which of us will run out of gas sooner, me or the snowblower, as we are both about the same age!

I suspect that more than one OF, after finishing his own personal snow-removal duties, looked around and promptly helped his neighbor. Just like what was said last week, “It’s what we do. It’s who we are.”

After all that exercise, the OFs staggered slowly back to their homes, built a fire in the fireplace, and then promptly fell asleep for a little winter’s nap.

Sure enough, a discussion of naps was overheard at the table with comments and questions regarding favorite chairs that seem to automatically recline to an almost horizontal position with absolutely no help from the OF sitting in them.

Of course there was no help from an already napping OF. Someone wanted to know if the chairs were heated.

That question was answered with a “yes,” which prompted a story about an OF and his wife having a pair of heated recliner chairs they used while on vacation at their campsite. Some people just naturally do it right.

Snowy ride, hearty breakfast

On to the business at hand. This past Tuesday morning found us gathering at the Middleburgh Diner for a hearty breakfast. Next week we will descend upon Mrs. K’s Kitchen.

One OF, who usually travels over Cotton Hill Road to get to the Middleburgh Diner, decided not to tempt Fate and instead took the longer way through Schoharie using the straighter big roads that have guardrails and everything.

The drive was still pretty spectacular, with the new snow all around. Another OF did travel the Cotton Hill Road and said it was perfect.

However, he is a man of the cloth and so may have had an advantage over the rest of us.

The somewhat numerically smaller group of OFs, caused not only by the new snow, but also by the siren song of sunshine, warm temperatures, swimming pools, of warm water, and maybe even a golf course or two just might have accounted for the absence of some of the rest of us.

On the lighter side

The weather was discussed with someone wondering if it was possible to have a January thaw if there has not been a January freeze to speak of. This brought forth memories of winters gone by when the temperature never got above zero for an entire week.

One OF recalled the early days of some towns putting sand on the roads during and after a snow storm by hand! There would be a couple of men with shovels, standing in the back of a truck full of sand, tossing shovelfuls of sand on the road as the truck drove slowly along.

This prompted another comment of: “Can you imagine what today’s OSHA would say about that?”

The story ended with the truck, having reached the end of the street, backing up to turn around when the one side of the truck sort of went into a ditch, causing the truck to tip over, sending the men, shovels, and sand in all directions! Maybe this is why there is an OSHA today.

On the serious side

Also overheard around the table was a discussion regarding an OF’s successful efforts to reduce his carbon footprint to virtually nothing. He has a windmill. Not a great big one, a small one that is designed for a single home.

It has a 100-foot-tall pole (a typical power pole is around 60 feet tall) with the blades only five feet or so in length. The question was asked if there was a “governor” on it to prevent damage from high winds? Yes and no. Not a “governor” per se, but a system that turns the blades away from the very high winds and therefore slows them down. Sort of like a weather vane.

This is not the only thing that this OF has working for him; he has photoelectric solar panels as well. Again, not great big ones, and not acres of them; he is just trying to reduce his carbon footprint.

The end result of his efforts? He does not have to purchase any electricity from the utilities at all.

Good for him, between the combined capacities of the windmill and the solar panels, both of which use only renewable resources, he has reduced his carbon footprint to zero.

By the way, he does not “sell” any leftover electricity back to the power company. With a final tongue-in-cheek comment, he said, if he had any excess electricity, he would probably go out and buy something that uses electricity and run it!

Those OMOTM who enjoyed the snowy scenery and were not worried about getting sunburned were: Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Ed Goff, Russ Pokorny, Warren Willsey, Ted Feurer, Jake Lederman, Pastor Jay Francis, George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Roland Tozer, Herb Bahrmann, Jack Norray, Dick Dexter, Lou Schenck, and me.

Think of me as a pinch hitter, or designated interim column writer while our first-string scribe, John R. Williams, is sidelined briefly.

As happens so often, as many of you know from your own experience, if you go too often to a meeting or function, of any sort, at some point someone is going to say something like, “I nominate him or her to do that.”

Well, here I am, the “Him,” because there is no “Her” in the OMOTM ranks. Do you have any idea what it feels like to be an 81-year-old rookie? I really thought I left this kind of stress behind me when I retired.

This Tuesday morning, Jan. 23, found the OMOTM gathering at the Chuck Wagon Diner in Duanesburg and talking about the early origins of the OMOTM, which was started by three men in the kitchen of a home of an OF.

I am sure the Scribe can fill in all the gaps in my knowledge of the subject.

I do remember reading in an early column, written by the Scribe, about the OMOTM in The Altamont Enterprise, that the wife of the OF whose house the first few breakfasts took place in soon tired of this arrangement, doing all the cooking, preparing, cleaning up, etc., with the predictable result of the OFs soon adjourning to a nearby diner to enjoy their breakfast.

Thus, a tradition was born and a marriage was saved, to go on and last for many more years. Maybe this is why the OMOTM travel to a different eating establishment each week so as not to wear out our welcome at any one of them too quickly.

 

Snow job

Recent discussions touched on the services we all sometimes take for granted. Such as snow removal.

Whether it is our own driveways with our own snow blowers, or the streets and roads in front of our homes and neighborhoods sometimes being cleared before we are even enjoying our first cup of coffee, or an entire football stadium and parking lots being cleared of over three feet of snow in less than 24 hours. All this so we can watch the football game in person or just on TV.

This was an amazing accomplishment that was done two weeks in a row! We take that as normal, if you live in Buffalo.

Sometimes, however, our equipment breaks down and we need special parts to repair it, which led to a discussion of where to buy the parts and why we do business with particular businesses.

One OF told the story of the fine service he received from an auto-supply company in England. He was able to call the company (an 800 number, so no charge), they had the parts, and he received his order in one business day. Granted, there was a weekend involved. Just a company doing business the right way.

That led to other stories of local companies doing business the old-fashioned right way. Often a handshake will do, if that. Just doing business, not trying to retire on each job. From repairing a snowblower to getting parts for a car to a pump for a well that is 300 feet down.

That part of the discussion led to “douser” stories, at which point someone cautioned us to be “careful about believing all that we might hear at an OMOTM breakfast.”

 

Constructive worry

All talk was not about such serious topics however. At one table, a discussion ensued concerning an OF who had recently taken a high paying job ($250,000) with a large corporation as a vice president in charge of being a Creative and Constructive Worrier. This is a very important and prestigious position in this corporation, as is evidenced by the substantial salary.

Someone at the table asked the lucky new V.P. how he was going to be paid all this money, and he replied that he didn’t know and that he was “very worried about that.” Obviously, he is already on the job, and doing great at it. He is a natural.

 

Best DMV

About that time, as the breakfast was winding down, an OF said he had to get going as he wanted to get to the local Department of Motor Vehicles office right as it opened, which promptly started a discussion as to the relative merits of the various DMV offices around the area.

The local DMV office in Schoharie was acknowledged as being at the top of that list. The same long-standing values of doing business was applied to those businesses that provide their service with good, friendly, knowledgeable people who just do their job the old-fashioned way with no hassles.

It is not at all surprising that the OFs feel this way about where, and why, they do their business. This applies to where we gather to have our weekly breakfast, as well. It ain't easy to satisfy 20 to 30 grumpy OMOTM who want their coffee now and their breakfast food cooked just a certain way. It is who we are, always has been.

The OFs, serious or not-so-serious, who were present this morning included: Bill Lichliter, George Washburn, Glen Patterson, Mark Traver, Joe Rack, Jake Herzog, Roger Schafer, Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Jack Norray, Lou Schenck, Dick Dexter, Herb Bahrman, Gerry Cross, Paul Bahrman, Ted Ferurer, Jake Lederman, Rev. Jay Francis, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, John Dabb, Paul Guiton, Doug Marshall, Frank Fuss, Michael Kruzinski, and me.

Everyone likes wood. It’s beautiful to look at, feels good to the touch, is relatively affordable, and is easy to work with. It even smells good in many cases.

With all that wood has going for it, it’s no wonder woodworking both as a hobby and vocation is so popular. That’s why I find it so odd that there’s never been a woodworking TV show that doesn’t have significant problems.

Let’s start with “New Yankee Workshop.” This one featured Norm Abram, who was originally on “This Old House” with Bob Vila, the very first home renovation show.

Norm is a nice enough guy and no doubt a master carpenter, but his show always disappointed me for two reasons:

— 1. His large, well lit, heated shop was so big and full of every possible hand and power tool that I was always left with a huge feeling of envy every time I saw the show; and

— 2. Norm always seemed to favor power tools whenever he could use them, even when something simpler would have worked just as well.

I guess if you have a lot of land, money, and skill you can be like Norm, but for a regular guy like me, watching it made me feel like I was just too far down the totem pole to get anything from it.

Then there was “The Woodwright’s Shop” with Roy Underhill. This is like the polar opposite of “New Yankee Workshop.” Where Norm was all about big and modern, Roy was totally old school — no power tools whatsoever and just a small, crowded shop that looked like a converted garage.

While it’s great that Roy can do everything with hand tools — if the Zombie Apocalypse ever comes and we lose power completely he won’t miss a beat — how can you not at this point use a simple electric drill to make a hole?

Power drills are ubiquitous and have been around forever; they’re in no way hi-tech. I find it hard to believe that even the most strict woodworking purist would have a problem with using a simple electric drill to make a hole.

“New Yankee Workshop” and “The Woodwright’s Shop” are the two granddaddies of woodworking shows, but there have been more recent ones.

“American Woodshop” features Scott Phillips. He uses even more power tools than Norm did. Also, he has a habit of yelling really loudly once the tools start running, which is comical at best and annoying more often.

Then there is “Woodsmith Shop” by the editors of “Woodsmith” magazine. These guys assume you have many expensive power tools as well, but do pull out hand tools when appropriate. They always show you where to get the free plans for what they are building, which is a nice touch.

Curiously, they frequently use a woodworking tool you don’t normally think of as a woodworking tool — double-sided tape. Based on the amount of it they use, I should add stock in 3M to my investment portfolio.

A newer woodworking show is “The Garage with Steve Butler.” He’s a New England guy who does basic woodworking with standard hand and power tools that anyone might have.

The problem is some of the things he does are downright dangerous. I’ve contacted him on social media. He says he knows he does this, but sometimes just gets in a hurry. They really should put a disclaimer on this show. Never, ever sacrifice safety to save time. Never.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to come off like I totally dislike all these shows. I love woodworking and the fact that these shows serve to bring it to a large audience is of course a good thing.

My only complaint is they don’t seem to be intended for so-called “normal” guys or gals. What do I mean by that? Well, a normal woodworker:

— Might have only a crowded garage or basement to work in that he or she has to share with other members of the family;

— Would have some basic tools like drills, hand saws, maybe even a table saw, but certainly not every tool that is available no matter the cost like most of these shows imply;

— Would have some basic skills, maybe learned from a shop class or by reading books, but is never going to build some huge fancy whatever like they often show without doing a lot of smaller projects first over many, many years of trial and error.

You might argue that there are folks who have all the tools and the skills and find these shows too simplistic. I’d counter that, if they have that many tools and have that much skill, they shouldn’t be watching these shows anyway. They should be out in the shop building stuff.

One thing the power-tool oriented shows do that is especially annoying is show the host using a power tool to cut some wood, like that in itself is somehow enlightening. The thing is, once the machine is set up to make the cut, you can use the tool to cut one or a hundred boards and they’ll all come out the same.

So it’s not the actual cutting we need to see; pushing a board through a tool is the easy part. It’s how you set up and adjust the tool to make the cut that we need to have explained. The set-up is where the magic happens, yet they never show it.

Mostly it’s a matter of trying the cut over and over on scrap until you get it just right. They probably figure that would be boring and they’d lose viewers. But for anyone who knows anything at all about woodworking, it’s more boring to watch a guy shove a board through a table saw for the thousandth time. So frustrating. All these shows need to do a lot better in this area.

What we really need is a show that assumes the viewer has just average woodworking skills and only owns common tools that any interested woodworker or homeowner would be sure to have. Once you get into big, heavy, expensive tools like planers, jointers, and bandsaws you just about take the normal guys who are still working full-time and raising a family out of it.

Those are all large, expensive tools that take a real commitment to buy, learn how to use safely, and find room for. Maybe the retired guys with a lot of time and, hopefully, money are happy with the current shows, but I’ll bet if there were a show for less fortunate woodworkers a lot more people would be into woodworking.

Of course, these days you can go on YouTube and find someone building anything you can think of, but they might not be doing it correctly or safely. You pays your money and you takes your chances, as they say.

I’ve watched a bunch of these videos and many of them should have the disclaimer “don’t try this at home” flashing in bright red at the bottom. Again, be careful any time you’re working with tools. It’s supposed to be fun and you most certainly want to avoid getting injured.

When there’s a woodworking TV show about a guy who builds a nice Shaker cabinet in his driveway using only basic tools and a couple of saw horses I’ll be really impressed.