To the Editor:

I’ve long known that — generally speaking — local news is the most valuable form of journalism.  Altamont Enterprise reporting has repeatedly proven itself indispensable, whether in rallying the community to preserve cherished landscapes or in publicizing the exploits of fledgling businesses.

Long have I also known that perusing your publication online is no substitute for reading the print edition. Certainly, social media’s single-serving articles or your website’s expansive collection of historical reporting make the targeted consumption of news more efficient. Yet much still slips through the cracks when not reading “the paper” on paper.

That’s why I amass weekly print editions of The Enterprise and then dedicate one Sunday per quarter to reviewing all those past copies, to ensure I’m up to speed on the goings-on in my native New Scotland.

And it was during this latest “catch up” session that The Enterprise educated me on a particularly critical nugget, to wit, that Sean Mulkerrin is a horrible friend.

That’s right, Madam Publisher: New Scotland beat reporter Sean Mulkerrin may be a fine journalist, but he’s a horrid friend. As his employer, you’re complicit in Mr. Mulkerrin’s abject betrayal of our fraternal bond.

On Thursday, May 11, 2023, you published reporting by Mr. Mulkerrin which revealed the existence of Boozy Moo! Ice Cream — a local enterprise slated for arrival in the town of New Scotland. The article revealed that this enterprising ice creamery was soon to relocate to the very jurisdiction which inspires my eponymous whiskey company. Mr. Mulkerrin described Boozy Moo! as a “hand-crafted, alcohol-infused ice cream.”

I’d missed this article online; I shudder to imagine what might’ve happened had I hadn’t the time to read those critical back issues. Notably, I was less shocked to discover this potential for the perfect joint venture than I was to discover that Mr. Mulkerrin hadn’t given me a courtesy heads-up.

Has he not a phone, Madam Publisher? Or does he just lack all social grace?

Were mountainous heights of arrogance responsible for Mr. Mulkerrin’s presumption that I would read his article, or was this just a test he’d cynically designed for me to fail?

Much about the journalism profession has changed in the past three decades. But in today’s me-focused entitlement culture, the standard in local news is clear: Readers/viewers/listeners/consumers have every right to expect personal calls from reporters to ensure critical stories aren’t missed.  

Mr. Mulkerrin failed in that fiduciary duty. Grotesquely so.

I come bearing receipts.  Appended to this submission is a screenshot of my recent text exchange with Mr. Mulkerrin, which unfolded thusly:

Victim: Hey, I need your help on something real quick. I’m going to ask three questions, please answer yes or no.  1) Are you aware that I own a whiskey company?

[Silence for 45 seconds.]

Victim: You’re ignoring me.

Mr. Mulkerrin: I am aware.

Victim: 2) Are you aware that there shall soon exist in New Scotland an ice creamery which serves alcohol-infused ice cream?

Mr. Mulkerrin: Ha, no.

Victim: This won’t work if you lie, Sean.

Mr. Mulkerrin: I did not know.  No.

Victim: BUT DO YOU KNOW NOW?! You literally wrote an article about it!!!!

Mr. Mulkerrin: Right… Over in New Salem.

Victim: OK. Thank you. 3) Are you currently suffering from any medical or physical defect that might’ve prevented you from calling or texting me to inform me of such?

Mr. Mulkerrin: No, and yes.

Victim: Well whatever you’re still the worst.

Mr. Mulkerrin: I appreciate you buddy.  You’re pretty awful yourself.

As you can see, in the above exchange, Mr. Mulkerrin is combative, untruthful, slow to respond, and engages in ad hominem attacks. Behavior like this compels questions as to what type of operation you, Madam Publisher, are running over there.  Sounds like one insufficiently committed to customers.

The good news is that despite Mr. Mulkerrin’s best efforts to hide from me his reporting, I was nonetheless able to reach out to Boozy Moo!’s proprietor and arrange a meeting that I hope will ripen into an exciting collaboration between two New Scotland ventures.

It’s my hope that my friends will someday get to enjoy the fruits of this collaboration. Whether Mr. Mulkerrin will be counted among the ranks of those friends very much depends on how he chooses to conduct himself in the months ahead.

In summation, I demand publication of an official apology from The Enterprise for Mr. Mulkerrin’s unconscionable failure to make my interests his topmost priority. I also want certified copies of Mr. Mulkerrin’s medical records so I can further probe the veracity of his text responses. I trust you will not delay in accommodating these requests.

Moreover, be advised that I shan’t hesitate to write another strongly worded letter to your two-bit outfit if ever again The Enterprise fails to cater to my personal wants and preferences. It’s bad enough that I have to pay for your reporting; this is America — I thought the press was supposed to be free.

In fact, now that I think about it, I demand that The Enterprise just go ahead and immediately terminate Sean Mulkerrin. People have been canceled for less, and it’s high time Albany County’s mainstream weekly media be subjected to some measure of accountability. Sad.

Jesse Sommer

Albany

Editor’s note: Jesse Sommer writes the “So swears the New Scot” column for The Enterprise.