To the Editor:

Just because I live in the village of Altamont, far away from Washington, D.C., doesn’t mean I can’t contribute to political discussions on national issues. I have a newspaper, The Enterprise, that frequently references Trump administration initiatives while editorializing on local issues. I have a pen. I have a phone. And an unlimited long-distance calling plan.

On occasion, I have contacted a majority of United States Senators with my thoughts and suggestions — that is, if you count messages left on their answering machines. I can say with certainty, South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham has, of all surveyed, the most sincere and entertaining recording on his machine.

With patience and persistence, the White House volunteer operators eventfully answer phone calls but they seem pretty well stressed out.

Recently, I've been following the discussions of current political issues by watching on television the young-and-restless afternoon version of the daily press briefing usually led by White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer. I have observed and have been disappointed with the White House Press Corps’ unrelenting bias against the president, along with the mainstream media, that appears won’t stop until President Donald Trump is impeached.

I see Spicer abused, for the most part, by a vicious White House Press Corps that wants to make the administration look bad. Instead of concentrating on real news, the press corps anguishes over topics such as, “Did the president kneel to the King of Saudi Arabia when he received a medal?” The reporters ignore President Trump’s accomplishments, legislative agenda, and policies. Instead, they continuously ask again and again about Russia.

A couple of weeks ago, President Trump returned from a nine-day overseas trip. There was a lot of interest in the Tuesday press conference, the first following his return. Well, I say to Sean Spicer, “Go on offense!”

I share my thoughts with the White House on how Tuesday’s press conference could have gone:

Sean Spicer marches smartly into the crowded pressroom, takes the podium and announces, “We are going to do this differently. Today, I’m asking the questions. First, I call on Jim from CNN. A survey just showed that in a recent CNN 12-hour period, 92 percent of airtime was devoted to Trump and only 8 percent devoted to all other news. During this period, 96 invited anti-Trump guests spoke while only seven pro-Trump guests received air time. Do you think this is unbiased, fair coverage for a major news network?”

Jim from CNN stammers and replies incoherently.

Question two: “Are you proud of your behavior working for such an outfit as CNN?”

Jim tries to answer.

Question three: “Do you understand why White House staff do not give interviews to fake-news networks like CNN?”

Jim really does not care as long as he can continue slinging insults.

Question four: To Jim — “How do you live with yourself?”

Rhetorical question — no answer needed as it’s obvious Jim is a cockroach correspondent.  

Spicer says, “We are moving on.”

The next question goes to John Roberts of Fox News. “When you were passed over at CBS for the evening news position, you quit. Is that true or was there another reason?”

John replies honestly.

“How are things at Fox?”

John rolls his head, takes a deep breath, and nervously replies. He is used to being on the “asking” and not the “receiving” end of questioning.

“You just returned from a nine-day trip with President Trump. How do you describe your feelings about being a White House correspondent with the Trump administration?”

John Roberts suddenly realizes the world's eyes are on him, waiting for his answer. Overwhelmed, he faints and slumps in his chair.  

“Thank you, John.”

Then Sean Spicer announces, “I forgot to mention today is two-question Tuesday. The first question is for all of you. How many of you would rather be asking questions to President Hillary Rodham Clinton’s press secretary? Show me your hands.”

Everyone in the room, save for a groggy John Roberts, raises his or her without hesitation. Sean whips out a camera for a group picture to document the response.  

Sean then says, “All of you who raised your hands have just lost your press credentials.”

“My second question is, ‘Why are you all still here?’” The room empties. “No more questions. We are done here.”

Sean looks out at the deserted room and says “Much better!” He turns to John Roberts of Fox News as he regains consciousness and adds, “It looks like it’s only you and me, kid.” He gives John a big smile and a thumbs up as he steps back from the podium and leaves the room.  

In an otherwise empty room, John Roberts, the lone survivor, grabs the microphone to give a truly exclusive news report for Fox News. Fair and balanced.

Ed Cowley

Altamont