On a crisp June 14 morning, with temperatures (at some of the Old Men of the Mountain domiciles) in the middle to upper thirties and the winds a bit more than a stiff breeze — it was wind not a breeze — the OMOTM headed to the Country Café on Main Street in Schoharie.
The OFs used the beginning of a gorgeous day to comment on living in the Northeast. The area on the globe where the OFs hang their hats has darn few days where the humidity is low, the sky is blue, the temperature is reasonable, and wind may be at 4 to 8 miles per hour.
That is what one OF said makes these few days so great — they are like playing golf. The OF said he only gets two or three good shots in a round; the rest of his shots are all over the place.
He said it is the good ones that keep him coming back, trying to drop that tiny ball in a small cup that is hundreds of yards away in as few whacks as possible. It is the same thing with our weather; it is the few good days that keep us here, so the OFs put up with all the miserable days just for a day like Tuesday.
However, the miserable days of June are not unusual. In “100 years ago today” (as reported in this paper), there was a baseball game between the Altamont team and a team for Delmar. The Altamont team complained that their loss was due to nobody there in the stands at the fairgrounds, and the miserable cold weather.
The miserable weather kept the fans away, and hobbled the play in the field. That was on June 9, 1916. Times have not changed in regards to the weather, but the OFs bet the catcher’s mitt sure has changed.
Ketchup bottleneck
One OF, like many of the OFs, enjoys ketchup with his eggs, or homefries. This one OF was shaking a newly filled ketchup bottle, trying to get the ketchup to come out but nothing was happening, so the OF shook harder and faster.
A second OF had enough of that and got up and went over to the OF shaking the ketchup and said, “Here, let me show you how to get ketchup out of a full bottle,” and he took the ketchup from the OF.
With one whack of the ketchup bottle on his wrist, half the bottle of that red sauce plopped on the omelet.
“The secret,” the OF said, “is to stop the bottle from going forward. The ketchup inside the bottle still has forward momentum and out it comes.”
This little report is from the week prior; this past Tuesday, the same two OFs sat at the same table, eyeball to eyeball. The one OF ordered the bacon-and-cheese omelet with homefries and the ketchup came with the meal, only this time it was in a squirt bottle so the OFs did not get to see how the other OF got the ketchup out of a bottle because this Tuesday all the OF had to do was squeeze. Problem solved.
Cross-country trek
One OF reported that his son is walking from Plymouth, Massachusetts to San Diego, California. This is quite an undertaking. The OF said his son is keeping a regular journal, and a photographic journal of his trip.
So far, the OF said, the hardest walk has been the hill up Route 30A from Route 20 in Sloansville, New York. He then took Route 162 to Canajoharie to do the walking path on the defunct railroad, and then went to the Erie Canal walk as he headed further west. The son reported to the OF that this climb out of Sloansville was more difficult than any he encountered in the Berkshires coming across Massachusetts.
The OF said his son is taking all his gear with him, and will be camping out. Some of the OFs wished they had guts enough to do this when they were younger; now it is completely out of the question. Funny how life has gotten in the way of filling many adventures in the OF’s bucket list.
Owning solar
Another OF, who is an attendee of this group but really not an OF “yet,” is one of the progressive people. His home has solar power. The OF said it is not the rented type of solar system — the OF owns it.
This OF also has a totally electric automobile. With all the tax incentives and rebates, the solar system did not really cost that much and, according to the OF’s calculations, in approximately three to four years, all his power, even running his electric car, will be free because the system will be paid off.
On the car issue, the OF does have two cars because on his electric car the range is not hundreds of miles, but it is quite adequate for around town, and short trips. For longer runs, like up to Lake George, this particular electric car the OF has will not make it. This OF is a great advertisement for solar power.
Many of the OFs feel they are too old to go the solar bit. However, one OF said that his house is going to go to his kids and he will probably be pushing up daisies before he had a solar system paid off.
Another OF said he is putting off getting solar power now because something better may come along in the not-too-distant future. This OF feels that magnetism might be the next advancement and that will be the end of fossil fuels, electric cars, and the whole ball of wax, so this OF is going to wait.
Those OFs that made it to the Country Café, on Main Street in Schoharie, in anything but a horse and buggy were: John Rossmann, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Bill Whitbeck, Roger Shafer, Chuck Aelesio, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Bill Lichliter, Miner Stevens, Harold Guest, Otis Lawyer, Jim Rissacher, Jack Norray, Lou Schenck, Wayne Gaul, Mace Porter, Carl Walls, Art Frament, Herb Sawotka, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Duncan Bellinger, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Rich Vanderbilt, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
Quite a group of Old Men of the Mountain shook out of bed on Tuesday, June 6. The thunder of this event almost matched the Richter scale measurement of the earthquake on June 6 in the Adirondacks. That quake measured 2.2; the OMOTM getting out of bed was only 1.8. Some of the quakes recorded in the Helderbergs are just the OFs tumbling out of bed to get to the breakfast.
This time of the year, many trees and plants are producing pollen so there will be more trees and plants. The OFs had a brief discussion on this yearly event. With the OFs, the Benadryl, Claritin, Visine, Flonase, saline solutions, and all kinds of sprays are flying off the shelves just so the OFs can breathe.
Some of the OFs complained that all their outdoor furniture, decks, and even their cars are yellow with the pollen of the pine trees. This stuff is so fine that even with the windows up, there are traces of that yellow powder inside their homes and cars.
One OF wondered if ants and bugs are bothered by this stuff. One would think that their wings would become coated with the pollen and those that breathe through their bodies would have a tough time.
Another OF said, “Pollen doesn’t seem to really have any effect on bugs — they fly up my nose along with the pollen so I get a double dose of a bug up my nose carrying the pollen.”
More of the OFs who have wintered in the South have made it back to where they belong and were renewing old friendships. That brought more talk on travel, which is a common topic with the OFs.
This time it was on how many cars were on the road the last few weeks, and the visible presence of troopers patrolling the roads in all states. One OF mentioned that Pennsylvania takes troop cars that are going out of service because of condition or a pre-planned mileage limit and park them in or around congested areas, or trouble spots and this ploy works. It slows people down because drivers do not know which one will be manned, or unmanned.
One OF from Long Island mentioned that New York tried this trick in Amherst, Long Island. The state even placed a mannequin dressed like a trooper in the car. This did not last long because New York is different; it did not take long before the car was broken into and the mannequin was stolen. The OFs assumed that it is probably in some frat house at a college on Long Island.
One-ups-manship
Quite often, the OFs participate in the age-old verbal competition of “my dog is bigger/smaller than your dog,” or “my kid is smarter than your kid.” This kind of verbal competition is worldwide.
On tuesday, the OFs (who are older, but not much wiser) perused the same comments about their lawn mowers! For instance, ‘My lawn mower cost a ton of money,” to another OF saying he got a great lawn mower “for next to nothing”; the “can you top this” just grows.
However, without this form of rivalry, the OFs would not have much to talk about. And like any chit-chat conversation one topic has another OF’s memory jogged and the OF thinks of something this reminds him of, and this reminds another OF of something and he jumps in the conversation and eventually the original topic is long gone.
So it was on Tuesday morning until! bingo! Here the OFs were starting to talk about cars again! This time the chatter was about what they paid for a vehicle in the forties and what they cost now.
With the OFs, this discussion is not out of some book but firsthand knowledge, down to the penny. The OFs claimed they could afford a new car easier “back then” than they can now.
The OFs were wondering who has the money to purchase these new cars with their high price tags. No OFs really knew — all they knew was their own circumstances.
This discussion sent this scribe back to Google. From what was found out (and this is by no means a deep study), in the forties, between 48 to 50 percent of an OF’s average salary back then could buy a new car. Today it takes 75 percent to 80 percent of an average salary to purchase a new car.
It is even worse when purchasing a home. The OFs are right. Who has this money? The OFs don’t and neither do the OFs have any friends who do.
Hospital rounds
Many of the OFs who wander into the breakfast on Tuesday morning are bionic, so that doctors and hospitals are another regular morning topic.
This morning, one of the OFs who had a knee replacement a couple of weeks ago was at the breakfast. This OF has been through this before and said that the operation is being done so much differently today than before he wonders if things will turn out OK.
Next to no pain, up and about in a short period of time, the OF was in the hospital barely long enough to see two shift changes of nurses and able to pick one to make a pass at. The OF said they sure kick you out in a hurry, but it seems to be working out fine right now.
Another OF said, “If you are sick, you do not want to be in the hospital — get out of that building as fast as you can because that is where the real germs hang out.”
The OFs who were let out of their cages today and all descended on Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh (those that their keepers were kind enough to let go) were: John Rossmann, Bill Bartholomew, George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Robie Osterman, Roger Chapman, Harold Guest, Dave Williams, Henry Witt, Roger Shafer, Duncan Bellinger, Mark Traver, Otis Lawyer, Glenn Patterson, Chuck Aelesio, Mace Porter, Art Frament, Wayne Gaul, Ray Gaul, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Lou Schenck, Don Woods, Pete Whitbeck, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Jim Rissacher, Carl Walls, Elwood Vanderbilt, Richard Vanderbilt, Mike Willsey, Jess Vadney, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
Quite a group of Old Men of the Mountain shook out of bed on Tuesday, June 6. The thunder of this event almost matched the Richter scale measurement of the earthquake on June 6 in the Adirondacks. That quake measured 2.2; the OMOTM getting out of bed was only 1.8. Some of the quakes recorded in the Helderbergs are just the OFs tumbling out of bed to get to the breakfast.
This time of the year, many trees and plants are producing pollen so there will be more trees and plants. The OFs had a brief discussion on this yearly event. With the OFs, the Benadryl, Claritin, Visine, Flonase, saline solutions, and all kinds of sprays are flying off the shelves just so the OFs can breathe.
Some of the OFs complained that all their outdoor furniture, decks, and even their cars are yellow with the pollen of the pine trees. This stuff is so fine that even with the windows up, there are traces of that yellow powder inside their homes and cars.
One OF wondered if ants and bugs are bothered by this stuff. One would think that their wings would become coated with the pollen and those that breathe through their bodies would have a tough time.
Another OF said, “Pollen doesn’t seem to really have any effect on bugs — they fly up my nose along with the pollen so I get a double dose of a bug up my nose carrying the pollen.”
More of the OFs who have wintered in the South have made it back to where they belong and were renewing old friendships. That brought more talk on travel, which is a common topic with the OFs.
This time it was on how many cars were on the road the last few weeks, and the visible presence of troopers patrolling the roads in all states. One OF mentioned that Pennsylvania takes troop cars that are going out of service because of condition or a pre-planned mileage limit and park them in or around congested areas, or trouble spots and this ploy works. It slows people down because drivers do not know which one will be manned, or unmanned.
One OF from Long Island mentioned that New York tried this trick in Amherst, Long Island. The state even placed a mannequin dressed like a trooper in the car. This did not last long because New York is different; it did not take long before the car was broken into and the mannequin was stolen. The OFs assumed that it is probably in some frat house at a college on Long Island.
One-ups-manship
Quite often, the OFs participate in the age-old verbal competition of “my dog is bigger/smaller than your dog,” or “my kid is smarter than your kid.” This kind of verbal competition is worldwide.
On tuesday, the OFs (who are older, but not much wiser) perused the same comments about their lawn mowers! For instance, ‘My lawn mower cost a ton of money,” to another OF saying he got a great lawn mower “for next to nothing”; the “can you top this” just grows.
However, without this form of rivalry, the OFs would not have much to talk about. And like any chit-chat conversation one topic has another OF’s memory jogged and the OF thinks of something this reminds him of, and this reminds another OF of something and he jumps in the conversation and eventually the original topic is long gone.
So it was on Tuesday morning until! bingo! Here the OFs were starting to talk about cars again! This time the chatter was about what they paid for a vehicle in the forties and what they cost now.
With the OFs, this discussion is not out of some book but firsthand knowledge, down to the penny. The OFs claimed they could afford a new car easier “back then” than they can now.
The OFs were wondering who has the money to purchase these new cars with their high price tags. No OFs really knew — all they knew was their own circumstances.
This discussion sent this scribe back to Google. From what was found out (and this is by no means a deep study), in the forties, between 48 to 50 percent of an OF’s average salary back then could buy a new car. Today it takes 75 percent to 80 percent of an average salary to purchase a new car.
It is even worse when purchasing a home. The OFs are right. Who has this money? The OFs don’t and neither do the OFs have any friends who do.
Hospital rounds
Many of the OFs who wander into the breakfast on Tuesday morning are bionic, so that doctors and hospitals are another regular morning topic.
This morning, one of the OFs who had a knee replacement a couple of weeks ago was at the breakfast. This OF has been through this before and said that the operation is being done so much differently today than before he wonders if things will turn out OK.
Next to no pain, up and about in a short period of time, the OF was in the hospital barely long enough to see two shift changes of nurses and able to pick one to make a pass at. The OF said they sure kick you out in a hurry, but it seems to be working out fine right now.
Another OF said, “If you are sick, you do not want to be in the hospital — get out of that building as fast as you can because that is where the real germs hang out.”
The OFs who were let out of their cages today and all descended on Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh (those that their keepers were kind enough to let go) were: John Rossmann, Bill Bartholomew, George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Robie Osterman, Roger Chapman, Harold Guest, Dave Williams, Henry Witt, Roger Shafer, Duncan Bellinger, Mark Traver, Otis Lawyer, Glenn Patterson, Chuck Aelesio, Mace Porter, Art Frament, Wayne Gaul, Ray Gaul, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Lou Schenck, Don Woods, Pete Whitbeck, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Jim Rissacher, Carl Walls, Elwood Vanderbilt, Richard Vanderbilt, Mike Willsey, Jess Vadney, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
The end of May was on a Tuesday and the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh.
There was one OMOTM not there and it was this scribe. This was known in advance so a substitute roll-caller was asked if he would gather all the chickens in the coop and let this scribe know so he could protect the innocent by having the roll call at the end of the column.
The stand-in OMOTM said he could do this and he performed the task in spades. This scribe received not only the names that attended the breakfast but many of those who did not, all on a spreadsheet. This scribe doesn’t even know how to make a spreadsheet. Like we keep reminding everyone, there are many talents in this group of OFs.
None of what follows happened at the breakfast at the Middleburgh Diner. This scribe used his little blue book where he takes notes and he made use of notes in this report that have not been included in reports from breakfasts in the past. This scribe does not take the conversations or names and place them on a spreadsheet — he scribbles them in a little cheap pocket spiral notebook.
Some of these notes are as terse as just two words and, when this scribe gets home and tries to put these words to a conversation, there is much consternation when nothing comes to mind that will tie these words into what was said. Unfortunately, now they just become wasted words because this scribe can’t remember them and so can’t use them to form a conversation and report on what was said; these exchanges might have been some of the cleverest discussions of the whole morning.
Big ears and noses
Wrinkles! The OFs have discussed wrinkles before, but the big ears and noses that accompany getting old is a note scribbled on this scribe’s cheap note pad, but not included in a previous column. The OFs did not complain about their ears getting larger because the process is so slow that early on it’s hardly noticeable.
Now some of the OFs in their middle to high eighties notice how large their ears are, and they wonder if the ear stays the same and the face gets so wrinkled that it shrinks. One OF mentioned that, if he kept on practicing wiggling his ears, he could probably now be able to flap them and fly.
Another OF said he did not really notice his until he was shaving one day and said his ears reminded him of Dumbo (the elephant).
Even with the larger ears on the outside, the inside seems to do the opposite and shrink because many of the OFs have to use hearing aids. This bit of information has been reported many times because this is one invention that seems to work at certain times and at other times hearing aids only seem to make the situation worse.
One OF said it is not only his ears that looked larger but his nose was wide enough to use as a hangar and park a small plane in it. To go along with the size was the lament that breathing wasn’t any easier. As a matter of fact, the OF said his outsized nose now was even plugged up more, and he went through a box of tissues in a week.
This scribe checked out information about the nose and ears growing as we age. This really doesn’t happen — it is just gravity, like the OFs’ butts and guts. Gravity takes over because the cartilage relaxes as we age.
So the big ears and noses that are already with us are neatly packed with youth, then age takes over and all that youth tightness just sags. The OFs will just have to live with it; there is no exercise or magic pill that is going to hold back gravity. The OFs are just going to have to get used to big ears and large noses and watch out when shaving that these larger appendages are not nicked in the process.
Those OFs that made it to the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh (and this scribe has no idea how they got there) for this report were: Roger Chapman, Robie Osterman, Miner Stevens, George Washburn, Don Wood, Glenn Patterson, Bill Lichliter, Roger Schafer, Harold Guest, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Lou Schenck (Thank You Lou), Art Frament, Ted Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Elwood Vanderbilt, Richard Vanderbilt, Chuck Aelesio, Duncan Bellinger, Joe Bender, Warren Willsey and guest Danielle, Harold Grippen, and not me.
Location:
— Photo by John R. Williams
Simple pleasures: Kim’s West Winds Diner in Preston Hollow provides outdoor seating where some of The Old Men of the Mountain enjoy the spring weather. Next time they visit the eatery, some of them plan to bring fishing poles.
On Tuesday, May 24, the Old Men of the Mountain met at Kim’s West Winds Diner in Preston Hollow. Kim’s sits practically in the Catskill Creek because this creek flows so close to the back of the diner.
On a tree on the bank of the creek about 30 feet from the diner, at the edge of the of the diner’s parking lot, is a small sign the reads “Fishing Permitted.” When fish is ordered at the diner, it should be fresh. Creeks are fun and quite romantic until they flood; then they become angry torrents.
Some of the OFs lingered as they left the restaurant and enjoyed the early morning hours at the tables outside the diner. They discussed many topics while listening to the sounds of the creek as it is wending its way to the Hudson.
Ah! Some of the simple pleasures of being retired. At this age, the OFs are not wasting time chasing women, running off to play ball, or just going to work. The OFs are out enjoying what God has put here for the OFs’ pleasure.
No longer naïve
As usual, at the table Tuesday morning, much of the discussion centered around what the OFs did when they were working, even prior to that, or in the military. Some of the OFs mentioned how life is different in larger cities and how most of them found this out while in the military.
The Hilltown OFs did not realize how naïve they were, nor how poor they were, until they ran into these guys. One OF said that at home no one locked their doors, or locked their cars, but in the service this one OF said you had to put your shoes on fast or others would steal the socks right off your feet. These experiences are carried over till this day.
Another OF mentioned that his experiences in the military ran along the same lines and originally caused a camaraderie between the city folk banding together and the country folk doing the same. The OF said it took awhile before the country folk and city folk could sort each other out, and friendships began to develop across the city-country cultures.
However, this OF said that to him the tag of “country hick” stuck with many of the hay foot-straw foots even after many of the country boys turned out to be better soldiers, sailors, or marines, than the city slickers.
Stereotypes are earned
Stereotypes, they are traits that are earned!
For instance, the Welsh can sing, the Irish can fight, the French can love and cook, and the Spanish can paint. The Italians can cook but, unlike the French, love is not what they are noted for — all they can do, so the stereotype goes, is pinch.
However, we all know a Welshman that can’t sing a note, an Irishman that won’t fight, a Spaniard that can’t draw a straight line, an Italian that can’t boil water or won’t pinch even if the opportunity presented itself, and a Frenchman — well, maybe that one is hard to top. The OFs think all French are good at their designated stereotype.
Applying the past to the present
The OFs talked about taking the experiences they accrued over their lifetime so far and applying it to how they live life today.
One OF thought his mind hasn’t changed much, but there are certain things he did “back then” that he does do differently today, while another OF said he can’t remember how he did it “back then”; he only knows how he does it today. This OF claimed he does not dwell on the past; he claims today is all that counts.
Then the other OFs said, “Well, how did you know how to do what you do today if you didn’t do some version of it ‘back then’ and altered it?”
The OF retorted, “If you clutter your pea-pickin’ brain up with all the way-back-whens, it gets in the way of learning anything new. I am not going to be an OF that says, ‘Well, that ain’t how we used to do it.’ Forget how we used to do it, do it the way it is done today, so there!”
Another OF said, “I agree with that OF who says it’s not the way we used to do it. If the key to start the car is always on the righthand side of the wheel, don’t go sticking it on the left. I had enough trouble learning that to dim the headlights when I didn’t have to push a little button on the floor between the clutch and the brake.”
Yet another OF said, “Hey, you still holler, ‘Whoa!’ and pull on the steering wheel when you go to stop your truck.”
To which one more OF interjected, “We get too young stupid, and too old smart.”
Those OFs who made it to Kim’s West Winds Diner in Preston Hollow (and when Kim’s restaurant’s time comes again in the OFs’ rotation of fine eating establishment, they are going to bring their fishing poles) were: Dave Williams, Harold Grippen, Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Robie Osterman, Don Wood, George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Roger Shafer, Otis Lawyer, Mark Traver, Lou Schenck, Art Frament, Mace Porter, Wayne Gaul, Gerry Irwin, Ted Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Pete Whitbeck, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Elwood Vanderbilt, Jess Vadney, Harold Grippen, Harold N. Guest Jr., and me.
Location:
It’s Tuesday May 17, and it’s me again Margret (heh-heh-heh) with the weekly report of the Old Men of the Mountain.
On May 17, the Old Men of the Mountain were as high as they get at any restaurant they visit because the restaurant was the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville. As usual, the OMOTM have their morning greetings and weather reports, and this morning it was mentioned that not many of the OFs had ventured out the past week because of the wind, and the fact that they were cold.
The OFs bet that the hummingbirds that have returned wish they stayed down south a tad longer.
This is a continuation of one of the discussions of the Tuesday prior (really many Tuesdays) only this further dialogue delved into other things besides just cars, tractors, and trucks.
This chatting was the lack of being able to work on, and repair, many appliances that the OFs used to repair with common household tools. Parts for the appliances could be bought at the hardware store or where the appliance was purchased.
It used to be (what a worn-out phrase but true) the OF could put brushes in an electric motor or power tool, or change a trigger, or replace a lead. Now the OFs can’t even find the screws to take the things apart.
One OF said the reason they can’t find the screws is because there aren’t any — a lot of these appliances and tools (once the innards are done) are encased in plastic; there is no way to take them apart. So then you can just chuck it in the trash can.
Raise the hood of a car, and the OFs say they need $10,000 worth of special tools just to get at what needs repair. The backyard mechanic is long gone.
To work on just about any small appliance today, the OFs say it is necessary to apprentice somewhere, go to a factory training school, or attend BOCES to learn how to do appliance maintenance or repair.
One OF had a new energy-efficient furnace installed with a small stack that was just warm to the touch when the furnace was running. The original oil man looked at it and said, “Don’t call me to fix this thing. It looks like a TV set inside that cover.”
The OF said it used to be (note the phrase) that he could put a new nozzle on the burner and adjust the air by himself; now half the repairmen who come have to call in an expert even when they are supposed to be heating and air-conditioning technicians themselves.
One OF said that many small appliances, and economically priced tools are not meant to be repaired — they are throw-aways.
Another OF said that goes for cars, too. Some of the upholstered roller skates they call automobiles these day are throw-aways. It costs more to fix them than the car cost.
NEAT dinner is really neat
Some of the OFs live alone, like many seniors, and they travel around to find meals that are cheap or free.
One they find particularly good is the NEAT (Not Eating Alone Tonight) dinner at the Reformed Church in Berne. According to the OFs, the NEAT dinner is really neat and they look forward to that one on the third Monday of the month.
This scribe did a little follow-up on this and found that the meal is served at 5 p.m., and requires a phone call to say you are coming. That phone call is really appreciated. They have room for 95 people, and it is just one setting.
This meal is by donation. If you can afford it, drop something in the bucket; if not don’t worry about it, that is really what the meal is for.
Brother’s keeper
Walking to school: Here is a topic one can only appreciate if you are of a certain age. The OFs go back a ways (1930s to ’40s) to when the Hilltowns were dotted with one-room school houses and the OFs had to walk to school.
One OF said that, on his way to school in the springtime, the swamp on the side of the road would fill up with the spring rains and snow runoff, then the swamp would cover the road. This OF said his older brother would carry him and his other siblings through the swamp. The older brother went to school wet while all his brothers were nice and dry.
Some OFs were picked up by horse and wagon and sleighs in the wintertime, and some trudged their way two miles or so to go to school.
Back then, most of the one-room schools also had only one outhouse, so LGBT was not a problem — just lock the door. Also back then, not many bothered locking the doors; they were farm kids and nature was natural to them.
The outhouses did not have heat either so there was no lingering when you got permission to go to the privy in the wintertime. There was no running water either; there were hand pumps with a bucket and a dipper. Some teachers gave the job of getting water from a creek to various students.
In the wintertime, some students were also given the job to go to school early to start the fire, and make sure the ice was broken if the water were frozen. No wonder many OFs look at the kids of today and say, “What a pampered bunch.”
One OF mentioned one winter was so bad that the school was held at his house for about two weeks. The house was on flat ground and the teacher and the kids could get that far. No snow days back then.
But now, when the OFs go to the hospital, they want the best of the “pampered bunch” to go and grab his laser to operate on the OFs back even if the doctor performing the operation isn’t old enough to shave. Go figure.
Those OFs who made it through their one-room schoolhouse days and who found their way to the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville in their late-model chariots were: Miner Stevens, Roger Chapman, Robie Osterman, Bill Lichliter, Harold Guest, Ted Willsey, Karl Remmers, Bob Snyder, Lou Schenck, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Otis Lawyer, Chuck Aelesio, Glenn Patterson, Jim Rissacher, Art Frament, Bill Rice, Henry Whipple, Elwood Vanderbilt, Richard Vanderbilt, Gerry Chartier, Mike Willsey, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
It is May 10, and it is a Tuesday, and any old man worth his salt is at the Old Men of the Mountain breakfast at the Home Front Café in Altamont.
Except for the cold, the OMOTM had clear driving on their way to the Home Front; however, some of the OFs had early morning temperatures in the low twenties. That will get your attention, especially in mid May. (Almost).
The OFs being just that — OFs — were youngsters during the Great Depression (1929 to 1939). Those whose parents were farmers got along (for the most part) pretty well. Most were poor but didn’t know it because everyone else was poor by today’s standards.
A couple of the OFs never even knew there was a depression because their parents had pretty good jobs during the whole event.
One OF said his relatives made marine engines out of Harley engines and these engines, even then, were in demand. This OF also said his uncle had one of the fastest racing boats in the country for 29 years, and, according to this OF, he was never beaten even by company-sponsored boats.
The OF said that most of the boats used a nitro combination in their engines as did his uncle. The OF said his uncle used a higher nitro combination without damaging the engine.
His secret came from farming. Instead of using the pistons that came with the engine, his uncle removed them and replaced them with Oliver tractor engine pistons, which were much more rugged than OEM (Original Equipment Manufacturer) pistons, so he could burn this higher nitro ratio. His uncle’s boat recorded speeds up to 134 miles per hour on water way back then.
Collectors or hoarders?
Now there are OFs who are collectors, and there are OFs who just have stuff. Then there are OFs who have accrued many items over the years that is neither hoarding or collecting; it is just bits and pieces of leftover items purchased in order to do a project of some sort and all of the material was not used and just put away for future use.
Then there are items that their kids have given the OFs over the years that the OFs didn’t have the heart to get rid of. Parts to this, that, and the other thing, just put on a shelf with the thought of using it later, and later still hasn’t arrived.
There are tons of clothes that the OFs have grown out of and still take up space in the closet. Eventually sheds, cellars, garages, and barns are nothing more than paths that the OFs wind their way through to find a place to stash something else.
The OFs maintain that they know just about where everything is squirreled away, and if and when something is needed, what path to go down and retrieve it.
The OF thinks someday he may use those old lawn-mower wheels; unfortunately this scribe thinks that “someday” is not in the OF’s future — so — some of the OFs were talking about downsizing. How this was going to happen never materialized. The term “garage sale” was never mentioned.
The beauty of retirement
There are a plethora of clichés pertaining to those who are joining the ranks of OFs, i.e., better on this side of the grass, age brings wisdom, (scribe’s comment: not necessarily smarts) etc., etc. One thing age does bring is retirement.
Some of the OFs are retired, and some still work after retiring, especially those who were in business for themselves, or those who had a saleable hobby, or interest.
A few OFs retired and proceeded directly into working at these hobbies or interests. The word “retired” makes working at these jobs practically stress free.
If the OFs want to go to their grandkid’s graduation, they go; if they want to go fishing they go, if they want to go to the Adirondacks to do a hike, they go.
Those working for themselves can tell their customers, “When it is done, it is done; I’ll call ya.” If working for someone else and the boss starts piling on the pressure, the OF can say,“Hey, buddy, take this job and shove it.” Oh the beauty of retirement.
However, the OFs left out all the aches and pains that go with the age of retirement, and the desire to not want to get out of bed because, in lying there, the OF realizes it is the best he is going to feel all day.
Another thing the OFs mentioned was that, when working at something that they really enjoy, they do not have to worry about deadlines; the craftsmanship goes up exponentially with age. But one OF said that is until the eyes dim, or the hands start to shake, or everything becomes an effort, just brushing you teeth is a chore.
“I don’t worry about that,” one OF said. “I just take them out of the Efferdent.”
The Old Men of the Mountain who sat at the tables at the Home Front Café in Altamont, and were tempted by the proprietor to talk about politics (but the OFs in their OF wisdom did not take the bait) were: Miner Stevens, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Roger Chapman, Bill Lichliter, Dave Williams, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Chuck Aelesio, Jim Heiser, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Jack Norray, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Wayne Gaul, Andy Tinning, Ted Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Bill Rice, Henry Whipple, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Elwood Vanderbilt, Richard Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
On May 3, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Chuck Wagon Diner in Princetown. Again, the OMOTM must report on the weather because for the drivers it was another miserable Tuesday morning.
It seems that for some time now the weather has been in the dumps on Tuesdays. Maybe our winter has spoiled the OFs but many say they feel colder now than they did in mid-winter. It is raw and damp the thermostats have been bumped up, the furnaces and wood stoves are still running, and even cranked up a degree or two higher than what the OFs had them set at during the winter months.
The OFs are getting too familiar with funeral homes, and the OFs started talking about friends that have passed and how some are really missed. This feeling is about good friends as well as relatives.
Many of the OFs’ relatives have moved away and are seen only on special occasions, like weddings, births, graduations, and, yes, even funerals. To take their place, many friendships are deeper than relative connections and the death of one of those friends hits harder than a relative. When a relative of a friend (who the OFs hung out with on a regular basis) passes on, the hole that is left is harder to fill.
Some of the OFs mentioned that the bond became so great, that years later when the OF wanted to go here or there, or do this or that, and that person or those persons are not around, there is the empty feeling of why isn’t so-and-so around so we could do this or that together. It is no fun doing it alone.
Cultivating new friends to fill the void is hard and not even thought of while the good times were rolling on with the friends we had in the past. Then we all get old and life changes.
Breeding bigger, better fish
One table of OFs discussed the work that SUNY Cobleskill is doing with raising fish, and cross-breeding the fish to make them larger and more tasteful.
One OF who worked at the college said that this research has been going on for some time, and now they have a new large building to house the work they are doing. The OFs thought this is extremely needed work as the population of the planet continues to grow.
The work at Cobleskill is for research, but the growing of fish on fish farms in the ocean, and in places like the fish farm in Coxsackie is for consumption and we are supposed to eat more fish.
Rent before you buy?
A conversation that included three topics that did not seem to go together (only the OFs combined them) is a routine conversation like they were all saying the same thing. They spoke about motor homes, then rocket ships, then submarines, and regular ships — all at the same time. Only the OFs could tie this all together.
The only real story told about motor homes was how a friend of one of the OFs decided motor homing would be the thing for them so they purchased one — neither a fancy one nor an inexpensive one, just a motor home in the medium price range.
With hands on the wheel, they headed out on their first trip to Florida. They set up in a nice park that catered to motor homes but also had permanent homes as well. According to the OF, it rained almost all the time they were there, so their friends could not leave unless they used the motor home.
It wasn’t long before they decided this was not what they thought RVing was going to be like; however, there was a permanent home in the park they liked and it came up for sale. They purchased this home and found it to be more to their liking.
Now there is a motor home for sale that has only one trip to Florida registered on the odometer. What a deal for someone who wants to try their hand at motor homing.
As with many large investments of this type, it was suggested by some that maybe they should have rented instead of buying for their first try with one of these RVs. One OF said he has done this with cars — he rents a make and model he was thinking of purchasing to make sure he likes the vehicle before he buys one like it.
Another OF said, “Hey, that is not a bad idea; how about renting a wife and trying her out before taking the plunge and buying the license and hauling her home?”
Another OF thought renting kids would also be a good idea to see if you wanted any of your own. He figured that might cut down on the population explosion after that little trial worked its way out.
“You know,” one OF said, “The renting of the wife could work in reverse. The gals may want to rent you to see if you fill the bill, and you — you old goat - wouldn’t. You’re ugly and don’t have any money.”
“Well,” the retort came, “I have a nice, late model car. I don’t drive around in something like that old rat trap of a vehicle you call a car that still has pedals in it.”
Oops. Time to put the pedal to the metal and end that conversation.
Those OFs who made it to the Chuck Wagon Diner in Princetown (and some had quite a pedal to get there) were: Miner Stevens, Roger Chapman, Bill Lichliter, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Roger Shafer, John Rossmann, Chuck Aelesio, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Harold Guest, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Wayne Gaul, Mace Porter, Andy Tinning, Duncan Bellinger, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Ted Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
On Tuesday, April 26, The Old Men of the Mountain met at the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg. Fog and rain, snow, sleet, and hail do not deter the Old Men of the Mountain from reaching the appointed eating establishment for the week. This week was such a Tuesday — lousy weather — and we had a full house.
As the OFs report to the breakfast each Tuesday, they are greeted with a hearty “good morning.” Sometimes the name of the OF joining the group is also greeted by his name (if he is arriving by himself) or maybe just a couple of OGs arriving together will have their names included in the greeting by the OFs who are already there.
The later the OFs arrive, the more “good mornings” are expressed. Most of the OFs being greeted have a reply, and some just wave.
On Tuesday morning, one OF came in and was welcomed with the round of “good mornings” along with his name. When all the greetings were done, the arriving OF replied, “To your misfortune I am here.” Now that was different.
Zeros and ones
Redundancy is something this scribe tries to keep at a minimum; however, this scribe is dealing with OFs and it is hard. At times, although the topic may be redundant, the approach is different, or the circumstances related to a topic are new.
That was the case with a topic Tuesday morning on technology and how much and how fast it alters the way we do things, especially for the OFs who did not grow up with the technology of today from the toddler stage in their life.
What the OFs talked about was the routine, low end of the work force that has been replaced by technology. For instance, the OFs were referring to jobs like file clerks.
It took many workers to shuffle and file paper that was once necessary to keep on hand, but these records are now being taken care of by machines. Many of the people who are now titled learning-disabled but could handle this type of job easily are no longer working.
The OFs say that, no matter how hard many people try, they are just unable to grasp much of what is going on, but they are definitely not dumb or stupid. The OFs know many of these types of kids who have fallen through a crack large enough to sink an ocean liner.
One OF said that he did not mind all the technology; he maintained that things (for him anyway) are now so much better. Medicine, construction, solar energy, plus so much more are tons better thanks to those zeros and ones.
Then the OFs noted that many of today’s vehicles have so much technological garbage on them that has no real function in making the vehicle go, steer, or stop, which makes it more frustrating when something goes wrong like the Global Positioning System.
“Hey,” the OF said, “I know how to read a map.”
An OF added that, when the light comes on in cold weather to tell you your tires are soft, they may not be. Why do I need that thing when I can see if a tire is soft or not? Those things are more expensive to fix than a new tire.
One OF said, just put a piece of black friction tape over it and forget it. Another OF said that, if you drive a car that has automatic braking on the vehicle, as an operator of such a car, the OF would probably become so used to the car stopping by itself when that little feature failed, whoa — what happens now? — one huge rear-ender.
Yet another OF said he remembers when automatic transmissions came out (and electric windows, and power steering, along with power brakes, and tubeless tires), the same things were said. He continued, “Go with the flow; give me all that new stuff. Anything that makes my life easier, I am all for even if it is nothing more than zeros and ones.”
Small engines, big headaches
The OFs also talked a lot about lawn tractors, small engines and lawn mowers. The gist of the conversation was small engines are not like tractor engines, or car engines.
The mechanics in the group all agreed that repairing small engines can be frustrating and regular mechanics do not even want to mess with them.
This brought up the new phenomenon of lawn-tractor planters. The OFs noticed in many yards, when a lawn tractor decides to quit, it is just left where it died and the homeowner trots out and buys a new one.
When approaching the tractor (left where it quit) the lawn is just mowed around it and there it sits as a piece of lawn sculpture, or a potted plant is plopped on the seat and it is now a planter.
Heartfelt condolences
In closing this week’s column, the Old Men of the Mountain would like to offer their heartfelt condolences to two families of our members — the Porter family, and the Stevens Family on the loss of Pauline Gaige, and Donna Porter.
Mother and daughter who passed away within days of each other, both are now joining hands in the company of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in a better place.
Flying Dutchman
Those OFs who arrived at the Duanesburg Restaurant in Duanesburg, like the crew of the Flying Dutchman materializing out of the fog, were: Miner Stevens, Roger Chapman, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Dave Williams, Roger Shafer, Jim Heiser, Glenn Patterson, Chuck Aelesio, Mark Traver, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Wayne Gaul, Ted Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Duncan Bellinger, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Mike Willsey, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
On Tuesday, April 19, Primary Day in New York State, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Your Way Café in Schoharie, and the OMOTM thought maybe this would be the end of the circus in New York, or maybe (as one OF mentioned) just the beginning. Ah, we shall see.
If only it weren’t so important. Either way, there is a lot of fodder for the comedians but ain’t funny, Magee.
Then, as another OF said, we should look at the primary with some humor and then realize we have been through this many times and generally it all comes out in the wash. One added none of the candidates have done all they say they have done, or can they do everything they say they are going to do.
“Yeah,” one OF said, “all of them have graduated from the same school that teaches them how to fib and make it sound like the truth.”
“Well,” another OF said, “I learned that in kindergarten along with learning that I learned it is not nice to pick your nose, but I still do both.”
Fat wallets, small watches
The OFs next had a brief discussion on wallets and watches. Now everyone knows that to follow all the current fashion trends all one has to do is stand at the door of the restaurants the OMOTM frequent and notice how patrons are dressed, then go and do likewise.
The OFs have a variety of wallets. Some are thin, and some are fat. The thin ones belong to the OFs who don’t have any money, and the fat ones belong to the OFs who are loaded
Either fat or thin, the OFs say that the wallet is the best place to put things that they can’t find later on. The reason some of the wallets are so fat is they contain gift cards the OFs forget they have, and notes and phone numbers that the OFs don’t know who they are from or who they are for.
One OF still has the picture in his wallet that came with the wallet and people think it is a relative. Some have an appointment cards in their wallets to remind the OFs of an appointment, only the appointment has come and gone.
We still haven’t found the money yet — only credit cards. One OF said his wallet is so fat that he leans to one side to carry it. He also said, if a pickpocket grabbed his fat wallet thinking he had hit the mother lode, he would really be ticked off. Money is the one thing that is not in there.
Watches are another thing; most of the OFs, if not all of them, have not caught up to the latest fad of wearing Big Ben on your wrist. The wrist watches today are so large the OFs expect to see a pendulum and hear it chime the hour and half hour, or at least a miniature bird pop out and chirp coo-coo.
“Wine is like duct tape”
“There’s a Tear in my Beer” by Hank Williams Jr. may become the newest rebirth of a song along with the lack of beer because of the lack of hops. Craft beer, which is booming in popularity now, is using between four and 10 times the amount of hops that industrial-scale brewing uses and this is causing a major hop shortage to develop.
One of the OFs, as we have reported before, is a hop farmer. The hop-house may be coming back on many farms; also, growing barley may make a comeback. It would be great to see some of the land that has grown up to brush be put back to use again and some of the small farms be able to produce a product they can sell
Drinking and driving may be the next farmer mantra, corn for gas, hops and barley for beer, grapes for wine. Help your local farmer; please drink and drive will be the next bumper sticker.
One OF said that will not only help the farmer, but also your local undertaker, and body shop. The OFs really know how to stimulate the economy while stemming the population growth.
It is not only beer that may help the farmer but also wine. With the new interest in wine, especially New York State wine, grapes are now in demand.
“There ya go,” one OF said. “After a tough day, a bottle of beer, or a glass of wine sure takes the edge off.”
Then another OF noted that he saw a very true sign (for him anyway): “Wine is like duct tape; it fixes everything.”
Fishing without bait
This spring has been a spring of contrast. The peepers chirped at night, the birds sang in the morning; as one OF said: Then came the cold. Real cold. Then the sounds of spring became just like winter silence.
One OF said, “Did you ever notice how quiet winter can be?” Not the spring and summer where this OF lives — it is like living inside a bird sanctuary that can be akin to a factory.
He went on to say, “Those feathered fowl can make an awful racket. Then add the peepers (thank goodness they only peep for a short while) and, when those nickel-sized frogs stop their peeping, then the singing insects start wailing their songs, or strumming their legs, and others do whatever they do to make a noise all of which adds to the evening’s din and I am trying to sleep. Oh the silence of winter, I miss that,” the OF mused.
One OF was all tanned up from fishing on the river all weekend. This OF said he fished, and he fished, yet caught only one fish.
Another OF said he thought that is what fishing is all about, just being out and away from it all. Who cares if you catch anything?
Still another OF chimed in to say that, when he goes out fishing, that is what it is all about, just being out, away from it all with a few beers. “Heck,” he said, “When I go fishing, heck, I don’t even bring bait.” Now that is what he calls fishing.
Those OFs who made it to Your Way Café in Schoharie, after telling the wife they’re going out to breakfast with guys and then going fishing, were: Bill Lichliter, Chuck Aelesio, Robie Osterman, Roger Chapman, Dave Williams, John Rossmann, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Harold Guest, Otis Lawyer, Roger Shafer (all tanned up), Henry Witt, Lou Schenck, Gerry Irwin, Jack Norray, Wayne Gaul, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Jim Rissacher, Ted Willsey, Elwood Vanderbilt, Mike Willsey, Harold Grippen, and me.