It looks like one of our biggest concerns is coming true — this is going to be a year where the bad weather will fall on a Tuesday.
On Tuesday, Feb. 16, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Your Way Café in Schoharie and the roads were not in great shape. One OF thought there was a temperature inversion, because the temperature on the Hill was in the 40s, and the temperature in the valley at 6:45 a.m. was 27 degrees.
The parking lot at the restaurant was solid ice and very slippery. The OFs hung on to each other as they did their Tim Conway shuffle to the restaurant. The plows were out doing their thing, so the OFs were pretty sure that, when they left the Your Way Café, the roads (like the week before) would be in better shape. (Scribe’s note, at least for those in our vehicle, the roads were better.)
Stained-glass reverie
The OFs touched on an unusual topic for them; it was stained-glass windows. The real old-fashioned stained-glass windows cost and arm and a leg, plus maybe a scalp, an ear, and an eye to have cleaned and repaired.
Of course, this is depending on the size of the window. The cost, which may be understandable, is prohibitive in many cases and small churches simply cannot afford to have this done.
What many churches are doing is covering the stained glass window with clear glass, or storm windows, in order to protect the stained-glass window. The way the OFs understand it, the new stained glass windows are regular colored glass, which is generally applied over a pane of regular glass, not like the old-fashioned stained-glass window that was cut and then leaded to separate the colors that were fitted like a jigsaw puzzle.
The OFs thought the old-fashioned way must have been painstakingly slow and meticulous. First, a sketch to fit the opening; then, locating or making the colored glass; then, cutting; and now it is time to make the window.
Red-winged scouts
Two OFs have reported seeing red-winged blackbirds in our area already. One OF saw the birds in Colonie, and another right in the town of Knox. This is a little early for these birds to make a showing.
Those birds may have had a few scouts in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania and reported back that the fury rodent said spring would be early this year. Now they are hauling butt back north to take advantage of the seeds that should be on the ground from last fall.
The OFs know that, when the birds first show up, they attack the backyard feeders by the drove. It is only mid-winter and we could get a ton of snow between now and April, but maybe these birds know something we don’t.
The better half wins out
Most of the OFs who are still married are easy-going types. These OFs acquiesce to their partners on many occasions. More often than not it costs the OF time or money.
One OF reported that recently he picked out tiles for under their woodstove that were effective, would do the trick, and looked good. These tiles were 12-by-12 inches and only 97 cents each.
The OF and his wife piled in the truck and headed to the one of the big-box stores that have everything for the home DIY, OF. They were ready to purchase the tiles when a salesman suggested a different tile to the wife that he thought might work better.
Then he went on to show them other decorative tiles. The original selection the OF and the better half decided on when they left the house were 12-by-12 inches and 97 cents each; the fancy ones they came home with were 6-by-6 inches and $7.37 each.
A simple little job that would have cost about 16 or so dollars, wound up costing the OF over $450. You gals are lucky to have these OFs to lean on. We acquiesce to prevent days of whines and pouts.
No throw-away culture
Our normal patter about old stuff generally pops in the conversation at one time or another at every breakfast. Tuesday’s breakfast was no different.
The OFs compared old tractor engines, and engines in general, to the newer ones. This topic was geared to how good the international engines were in the Farmall tractors. (These tractors are the red ones).
One OF mentioned that he was using his Farmall cub tractor when he heard a loud bang. The OF said nothing looked out of place, the tires were fine, and tractor ran great so he had no idea what it was.
The OF told us he used the tractor for three days around his place and it started and worked as it should. Then the other day he walked by it and noticed that the whole top of the battery had blown off, but the cables were still connected. If that had happened on one of the newer tractors or in your vehicle, there would probably be one heck of a fire.
Back in the day, there was a product most every farm kept on hand which was like tar in a can. This product was used to repair cracks in batteries, and this scribe can attest to this invention because on our farm we had an old GP John Deere tractor that had a patched battery and it was the only battery that tractor ever had that this scribe can recall.
The OFs remember filling the batteries with distilled water at times and even adding battery acid. Today, changing batteries is rather routine, and they are not cheap, Magee, just part of our current throw-away culture.
Those OFs who made it to the Your Way Café in Schoharie, and sat at their tables without falling down on the ice, were: Bill Lichliter, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Roger Chapman, Roger Shafer, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, John Rossmann, Gerry Irwin, Jay Francis, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Lou Schenck, Wayne Gaul, Jim Rissacher, Ted Willsey, and me.
Location:
On Feb. 9, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Country Café in Schoharie. This was a Tuesday, and on Tuesday, December 29, the weather was a tad nasty, and then on this Tuesday, the OFs had to content with about two inches of nuisance snow. Is this going be a year where the bad weather will happen on a Tuesday? Maybe.
Well, the Country Café was warm, and cheery — a welcome place to be early on a Tuesday morning.
The first topic was an OF’s complaint: Why did Time Warner jack up the bill by as much as 30 bucks? How do they get away with that?
One OF said that is not so much; it is a buck a day.
The other OFs said, you may be made of money but we aren’t. One OF said, if everyone thought like that and jacked up their prices only a buck a day, it would take only 10 suppliers of this, that, or the other thing to do this and, by the end of the year, we are talking big bucks, like $3,650 for the year. How do you make that up on a fixed income?
This scribe does not know how or if the subject transitioned at this time to if things are better now or when we were young. The OFs thought not, but the scribe said, yes, in most cases things are better now than then. So this scribe did a little checking, the key word here is little.
In 1970, when the United States had 203 million people, there were 16,000 murders, 350,000 robberies and 28,000 rapes.
A decade later, with a population of 225 million, there were 23,000 murders, 565,000 robberies, and 83,000 rapes.
The following decade, in 1990, there were 250 million people, again 23,000 murders, 639,000 robberies, and 84,000 rapes.
Skipping to 2014, the most recent since 2015 isn’t yet tallied, there were 319 million people, 14,000 murders, 325,000 robberies, and 84,000 rapes.
So you can see how crime in all major categories, with 116 million more people now than then, is considerably less crime than when there were fewer people. Tires last longer, cars run better and last much longer though they are nowhere near as stylish, and homes are constructed better. Medicine is better by leaps and bounds.
Conservation is beginning to take hold. Back in the day, sewage was untreated and dumped in the rivers, lakes, and streams — and winding up in the ocean. Factories dump what we now know is called hazardous waste anywhere because there were no controls stating they couldn’t.
Even based on average income, cars and houses are relatively proportionate. Food is a tad higher, but two items are way out of whack — tuition and health care cost much more than in the 1950s and proportionately so.
This is one way to look at then and now; however, stats can be bent anyway to prove anything but is some cases facts are facts.
News skews
The reason most of the OFs think times are worse now than in the past is the immediate assimilation of news from all over the world, and most of the reporting is of bad news. Naturally the OFs are going to think everything is bad because that is all they hear today, almost hourly when it happens.
There is TV, Skype, cell phones, and computers. No wonder the OFs think the world is coming to and end and, if you believe the media, it is.
This scribe says: Sit back and relax — this ole sphere has been around a long time and it still will be for a long time to come. There is only one person who knows when it will end and he isn’t telling or leaving any clues.
Talk opens with wallet
This conversation opened up when one OF took out his wallet to leave a tip, and one OF ran to get a fly swatter to swat the moths as they flew out of that wrinkled, old piece of leather. That topic was where some people kept their money.
One OF said that this guy ran a junkyard and did not trust banks so he did everything in cash, and used his money as insulation in the walls of his home. When he retired, he sold the junkyard, and had what the OF called a fire sale, and sold all the junk he could.
There must not have been a clause in the contract that said he couldn’t, and it did happen a while ago, according to this OF. The new owner was really upset when he found that many of the walls in the house were all torn apart with an ax.
Another OF said this same kind of reasoning applied in a story he had heard about an OF who hid his money in a wall behind the stove and, when he finally went to get it out of the wall, all he had was confetti because the mice had gotten into it and made nests.
Highway hazards
The OFs also discussed some of the places where they had worked. Those who had worked on the Thruway said it was dangerous.
The OFs who used this road quite a bit also mentioned the close calls they had on this stretch of highway. One said that it was people not being used to driving at 65 miles per hour, and dealing with the wind that was a big problem. Another problem was inattention of drivers not realizing how much ground is covered going this speed with a machine that weighs on the light side one ton.
The OFs who worked on the Thruway mentioned pulling the steering right or left to adjust for driving with a side wind is one of the problems. After driving at a good clip with this constant pressure on the steering wheel and then coming to a bridge that stops the wind, the vehicle will then dart right or left and, if the driver is not concentrating, the vehicle will smack right into a bridge abutment.
The Old Men of the Mountain who found their way to the Country Café in Schoharie and did not need to drive the Thruway to get there were: Roger Chapman, Bill Lichliter, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Chuck Aelesio, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Roger Shafer, Mace Porter, Lou Schenck, Gerry Irwin, Wayne Gaul, Jack Norray, Ted Willsey, Mike Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
This Tuesday (the day the Old Men of the Mountain met) was the same day that, that rodent weather prognosticator in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania (I got the spelling from the Internet; I ain’t that smart. This is similar to people not being from this area who try to spell local names, like Schenectady, or half the towns on Long Island) was going to advise the whole Northeast what the rest of winter was going to be like.
The OFs say that rodent isn’t necessary because his predictions are generally wrong. Just ask any of the OFs who have lived on the mountain for years; they can tell what the winter will be like right down to number of snowflakes that are going to fall just by looking at the color of hills across the valley precisely at 11:36 a.m., on Jan. 10.
That will be as correct as any rodent shaken out of a great nap by a bunch of Norman Rockwell-type old goats, in tall hats can predict. Howeve,r that groundhog is a lot like a construction worker because they whistle at perspective mates. When the groundhog is awake that is.
Treacherous ice
This brought the OFs to talking about the ice on the ponds and lakes this year, specifically how little there is of it, and, if there is any, how treacherous it may be. One OF reported that there were some ice fishing shanties out on Thompson’s Lake and the ice is so thin at the shoreline that planks are laid down so those stupid enough to go out and fish could go across open water to get to their shanties out on the lake.
One OF said they had better be pretty good swimmers if they do head out to fish. It has been a very open winter so far, and the OFs are hoping we do get substantial snowfall sometime before the winter is out because the wells and reservoirs will need the water.
One OF did mention that, a couple of years ago, we had plenty of snow and still there was a water shortage the following summer. The OFs couldn’t argue with this OG because they were unable to recall this particular weather event.
More than one way to fry an egg
Many of the OFs are good cooks, some because their moms taught them how when they were young, and others by necessity, and some because they went for beauty instead of brains and were forced to learn how. One OF started giving a brief lesson on how to take care of the pots and pans especially when making fried eggs and bacon.
This OF said, “Keep your eye on the bacon and don’t let it burn because once that starts the eggs will stick to the pan where the bacon burned.”
One OF said he didn’t have that problem because he uses two pans. What? Now you have two pans to clean.
Start cooking the bacon first, then throw the eggs in after the bacon is cooked some, that way the bacon grease is used for the eggs.
“Nah,” was a reply. “That way, everything is too greasy. I take the bacon out and put it on some paper towels to soak up the grease.”
“That spoils the whole thing,” came a response. “By the time the eggs are done, the bacon is cold.”
“No, it isn’t,” was the answer. “I cook the eggs in another pan.”
“Not another two-pan job for simply frying up two or three eggs and bacon for breakfast,” was the comment.
“You guys have it all wrong. I throw in half a stick of butter, then the bacon; when that is about ready, I crack in three eggs, and there is about an eighth of an inch of grease in the pan. After that, I put my plate over the pan for a little while (that warms up the plate) then I take the spatula and wave some of that grease over the eggs. When the eggs are the way I like them, I take them out, and the toast off the back of the stove and I am ready to go.”
“All that fat, what about your cholesterol?” was asked.
“What about it?” the reply was. “My last check-up it was 150 which is not that bad.”
“When was that check up?” an OF inquired. “When you were ten years old?”
Droning on
The OFs discussed drones again, and how in the Netherlands the Dutch National Police are training eagles to hunt down drones and attack them.
One OF said, if he sees a drone over his property, if he can’t get his shotgun in time to shoot it down, he will throw rocks at it. If this OF brings down the drone, he better hope that it doesn’t land on someone’s head.
The subject came up again how most technology, not all, but most, generally is an improvement. Tuesday morning, the discussion was on tools. It was mentioned how much safer most tools are these days, and how much easier they are to work with.
One OF mentioned the Hougen magnetic drill and cutters. The OF said they used to have to climb poles and drill holes in steel for the appropriate fastener. This process took two men and a boy to handle the drill to drill the hole, and, when the hole was about through, the bit would catch and the drill would spin and twist your arm, or snap your wrist, or could even knock you off the pole.
Along comes this Hougen tool, and one guy carries it up with little effort, sticks the drill to the steel and just feeds the cutter in and the tool does all the work. No more dangling from a harness because the drill has twisted the OF around and dislodged him from the pole.
Those Old Men of the Mountain who are lucky enough to escape the pitfalls of farming and heavy industry, sundry wars, and the occasional whack with a frying pan and make it to Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh were: Harold Guest, Bill Lichliter, Dave Williams, Roger Chapman, John Rossmann, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Miner Stevens, Glenn Patterson, Chuck Aelesio, Mark Traver, Roger Shafer, Mace Porter, Wayne Gaul, Lou Schenck, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Jim Rissacher, Ted Willsey, Bill Herzog, Ellwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
OK, the clock starts again! The Old Men of the Mountain were at the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh on Tuesday, Jan. 26, and we start the restaurant round again. Right now it takes eight weeks for the OFs to run through our round-robin clock of restaurants.
This can, and has, been changed by adding or deleting eating establishments, but for now it is eight. The OFs like to call it spreading the wealth, and keeping the wealth at home.
The OFs began talking about themselves this morning and commenting on age itself. Age is a relative thing, according to this group. The OFs say your attitude means a lot.
It is possible to be a real OF, 90 years old cranky, and grumble about everything or be 90 years old, smile with your teeth, fake teeth, or no teeth, but take everything in stride and be like a 60-something 90-year old.
The OFs are first to admit getting old brings a lot of baggage as parts of the body decide they don’t want to work like they used to. Many doctors reply to some of the OFs’ complaints by saying, “Well, you are getting older; there is nothing really wrong with you except you are getting older and there is no pill for that yet, so suck it up and live with it.”
Believe it or not, many of the OFs, when they hear this and know their situation is not life threatening, do suck it up and go on about their business.
That doesn’t make it any easier but it is all attitude, and most of the OFs do not escape the maladies of getting older; they just mention these woes as part of their conversation and then go on to something else. Some of the OFs really hurt, are really sick, or have rea,l serious problems but at the breakfast one would never know it.
Age is relative, not a number, which is evidenced by the OMOTM.
Hot air will melt snow
The OFs discussed the storm Jonas that came up the east coast last week, and walloped the major cities along the way. What do they do with all that snow? Miles and miles of streets have to be plowed and where do they put it?
One OF who moved here from Long Island said they are not allowed by law to dump the snow in the river or the ocean. Hey, they are not playing ball: Why not use Yankee stadium, Citi Field, or Central Park? Another thought would be to gather all the politicians and have them stand on the corners of the streets and make speeches on how they are going to help us. All that hot air will melt the snow in no time.
Waitress watch
Last week, the column mentioned some of the waitresses and this week the OFs read the column and expanded on how effective the waitresses are in all the restaurants on our clock.
One OF mentioned that he bumped into one of the waitresses just the other day; she now isn’t on the shift of the OFs’ attendance on Tuesdays. She asked him how we were doing.
The OF mentioned that sometimes waitresses do change and they really do not get to know the OFs, and sometimes the OFs see the same ones for years. One such waitress used to bring her baby to work; the OFs have seen that baby become a toddler, and now he is going to school. The OFs who hang in there long enough may see the same young man wait on them for pin money as he proceeds through high school, maybe even beyond.
Parrott House preserved
The OFs discussed the ongoing work being done at the Parrott House in Schoharie and now this effort is at a standstill because it has to be in compliance with allowable work as authorized by the Historic Preservation authority.
The OFs mentioned places where work done had to be removed and redone to satisfy the Historic Preservation demands once the building is on the Historic Preservation registry. Some of the rules seemed pretty silly and harsh if the OFs understand the demands of the authority correctly.
But the OFs guess the key word is “historic,” and to change what a historic building looked like would not fit the word historic. The OFs assumed that, as radical as it may be, they do have a point.
Pampered pets
Most of the OFs have a cat or a dog, some have a cat and a dog, and some have cats and dogs. Taking care of these animals as the OFs become older is like taking care of kids. Most of them are pampered pets.
On the farm, the OFs remember, the cat or cats, dog or dogs were rarely taken to the vet, and they seemed to have gotten along very well. Today the OFs are running the same animals to the vet more than the OFs are running to the doctor.
The OFs spend good money purchasing fancy food for their pets, and, back when they were on the farm, the animals ate what the OFs ate — scraps from the table. The cats might have a mouse for dessert, and the dog might have a rabbit.
The OFs remember the fur of the animals being shiny, their teeth and claws being sharp and in good shape. Now the OFs say some even brush their dog’s teeth. Say what?
One OF commented, “If you tried brushing my dog’s teeth, you would be missing a few fingers. Our barn cats never saw the inside of the house; they were out when it was 20 below and were more healthy than those pampered pets are today.”
An OF did say, if they really became ill or hurt, it was off to the vet then and they would patch them up. Sometimes, one OF said, if the vet was coming to the farm, he would have the vet check out the dog or dogs while he was there, maybe the cats if he could round them up in one place and keep them there.
The old saying that it is impossible trying to herd cats is very true. The best way to handle a bunch of cats is grab one at a time and stow it in a box until all the cats that might need attention are caught. The OFs say, don’t try to catch a cat; coax that feline to where you can catch it with food.
An OF remarked that he should rename his fat cat “Useless.” That says it all.
The OMOTM who were coaxed to the Middleburgh Diner by food were: Robie Osterman, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Chuck Aelesio, David Williams, Roger Shafer, Glenn Patterson, George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Miner Stevens, Roger Chapman, Gerry Irwin, Wayne Gaul, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Lou Schenck, Don Wood, Ted Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Bill Herzog, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
It is already Jan. 19, and a Tuesday when the Old Men of the Mountain braved the wind and single-digit temperatures to meet at the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville.
Wouldn’t you know it — Murphy’s Law applied. As good as the Hilltown Café is, it is the restaurant with the highest elevation the OFs have on their list, and Tuesday was the worst day of the year so far.
Two hands on the wheel or the vehicle could be blown into the ditch, and there the OFs would be stuck, with a temperature, figuring in wind chill, of 20-degrees below zero, in the middle of nowhere hoping another carload of OFs would come by and pick them up.
It’s wrong to be always right
The OFs found that it was time to pick on those who think that they are always right. An argument between two people who think they know it all and who are always right the OFs consider a waste of time. Generally neither one is right.
The term “my way or the highway” is one phrase the OFs say fits right in this discussion. The OFs said we all know people like this.
One OF said, “Yeah, we have a room full of them right now.” This OF continued, “I know I am right on this. Which one of you guys is going to admit they are not right? Starting a sentence with, ‘I may be wrong, but “xyz”’ doesn’t count because it really means the OF thinks he is right.”
In most cases, there is more than one way to get a job done. As long as the job is done and it works, there is no right way; any way was the right way, the job is done, so what, who cares how it was done.
Travel with cash
One OF mentioned that, when traveling now, it is a good idea to bring some cash. Some banks and credit card companies will prevent you from using your card if the place where it is being used is an unusual situation for you.
One OF reported that his identity was stolen and the credit card was being used to buy lumber in California. The credit-card company stopped payment right away, and would not honor it. The company contacted the OF to see if he was there and, of course, he was not there, he was still here in New York. The OF then obtained a new credit card, making the original one useless.
But the OF said, “Suppose you were in California and really needed to use the credit card and the bank put a stop on it and you had no cash?” Whoops — now what kind of hoops would you have to go through?
The OFs said that it is a good idea to notify your bank if you are going to travel and inform them of where you are going ahead of time. That sounded like a good idea to the OFs.
Diet advice
Another topic the OFs touched on Tuesday morning was diets. As long as the OFs have been around, diets (going on and off diets) have been a national source for conversations, articles, and cookbooks.
How many ways can you fry a potato? The OFs have found a diet that seems to work and was prescribed by a physician — just a regular M.D. trying to help someone lose weight. The OF relating the advice the doctor offered said that, on a plate of meat, potatoes, and veggies, start with the protein first, and then chew, chew, chew.
Many of the OFs have their breakfast gone in a manner of minutes. The reasoning is they like to eat their food while it is still warm. To these OFs, if you spend all your time chewing, it takes too long and the food cools off.
That may be part of the secret of this diet plan; if the food is cold the eater will eat less — hmmmm. Some OFs do chew their food but shape-wise, the mix of OFs who chew, or gulp proves nothing.
The other part of this diet is to drink water. Sounds simple enough to this scribe who might take heed; apparently, it is not what you eat but how you eat. Hey, it is worth a shot.
The last piece of advice was not about dieting but should be added to the regimen and that is: Get some exercise. How much and exactly what type of exercise was not mentioned.
This scribe thinks good long walks should be sufficient. Although, at the ages of some of the OFs, the arthritis, along with other aches and implants, prevent the OFs from these long walks. Some sort of exercise for these OFs should be doctor recommended.
This brought up the notice of how many of the OFs use their elbows or hands to push on tables to get up. Some of the OFs prefer to sit in chairs with arms so they can use the elbows, and some even sit with their elbows and shoulders under pressure on the arms of chairs because they are unknowingly supporting their backs even while sitting down.
Tips on tipping
The OFs brought up the adding of 18 percent to the bill for a tip. The OFs say they don’t trust a lot of the managers of these restaurants to pass that money along.
The OFs would rather leave it or hand it to the server than have it automatically collected. A few of the OFs have been so disgusted in a restaurant (these OFs had to admit it was just a few times) that they left the traditional penny to indicate their displeasure.
Now, an OF said, the waiter or waitress can just sling the plate at you, and forget to even ask if everything is OK, or if you need anything else and they still get a tip. This is wrong, according to the OFs.
Most of the OFs leave a pretty good tip when they are happy and now they won’t even get that chance.
The OFs wonder what planet these politicians live on. Social Security saw no increases this year because the cost of living has not risen — say what? Have the people who run that governmental department been in a grocery store lately? The OFs doubt it. How this got into talking about tips, this scribe does not know.
The OMOTM that were at the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville and being served by a waitress with a ready smile and laugh along with proficiency that earned her money and tips were: Roger Chapman, Bill Lichliter, George Washburn, John Rossmann, Robie Osterman, Harold Guest, Chuck Aelesio, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Lou Schenck, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Bill Herzog, Jim Rissacher, Bill Rice, Henry Whipple, Mike Willsey, Ted Willsey, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, Wayne Gaul, and me.
Location:
— Photo by John R. Williams
The ambience at Altamont’s Home Front Café, said owner Cindy Pollard, is based on her memories of her mother’s kitchen during World War II. The place is filled with memorabilia, and many veterans congregate there.
Tuesday, Jan. 12, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Home Front Café in Altamont. For the usual weekly weather report, last Tuesday went from spring to winter in one day. The OFs arrived at the Home Front Tuesday morning bundled up for the trip outside.
As the readers must suspect by now, the OFs sit together at the restaurants we favor. Though the times the OFs arrive at the restaurants may vary, it is within half an hour for most of them to take their place at the table.
This means the OFs leave in just about the same order they come in, except for a few that hang in the restaurant until lunch time. When it comes time to leave, the grunting and groaning of the OFs as they get up from the table is almost like a concert.
This is similar to, but not as gross as, the campfire scene in “Blazing Saddles” where those sitting around the campfire select Alex Karas as Mongo to go and take care of the sheriff. “Let Mongo do it” is the collective decision of the cowboys in “Blazing Saddles.”
The OFs, being no different than anyone else, have a goodly number just coming down with, in the middle of, or just getting rid of colds. So added to the musical selection of grunts and groans getting up, is the hacking and sniffling of colds going around and now you have an idea of the sounds of the Old Men of the Mountain in concert.
Old stuff is useful
The OFs began talking about all the old stuff they have lying around which doesn’t work. Once the conversation started, it was discovered that, not only do the OFs do a lot of things in concert, we can add this trait to the mix.
The scribe thinks it has to do with the era the OFs were brought up in. Most of the OFs were in their formative years when nobody had many material things, and what they had they hung on to.
The other lessons learned were that the OFs made do with what they had and threw nothing away because, if something broke, it could be cobbled up to work with something else that would make it work.
This is so embedded in the OF’s psyche that it has never left. Younger people may think: What is the old goat doing with all that junk? It is not junk to the OF. What the younger people think is junk may be a part that will repair another piece of so-called junk and put that piece back in operating condition.
New stuff can be excessive
The OFs talked again about treating our finite planet as an infinite planet and it isn’t. This was brought about by a brief conversation on fracking and what happens when the entire product is removed from under the ground. What happens to that space?
The OFs think that eventually we will take so much from under us many parts of the Earth’s crust will just cave in. A few of the OFs feel that some of what is being done to the planet in the name of progress is anything but.
Then there is always the argument that, as there are more people inhabiting the Earth, they have to be taken care of. However, some of the OFs think we don’t really need three televisions, two and three cars, a pickup truck, a couple of ATVs, plus a couple of snowmobiles, and houses the size of hotels.
Some OFs say that making and selling all this “stuff” is what keeps people working and, in their opinion, that is the important thing. They, too, have a point.
What to do? What to do?
One OF said, “We do not need Viagra; we should be using ‘saltpeter’ in the water instead of fluoride.”
This OF thinks we are going about it the wrong way. His thought is, if we cut down on population growth all over the planet, then there would be fewer people to consume food, water, and stuff. (Scribe aside: Saltpeter has nothing to do with the male libido; that is an old wives’ tale.)
Starting cars in the cold
Standard wintertime discussion is starting vehicles with the OFs. The OFs notice that most new cars start right up even in cold temperatures and with weak batteries. The battery has to be completely drained for the newer vehicles not to start.
Some OFs do not have newer vehicles and have to put up with the ominous deep sounding whirrrrrr, whirrrrr of the starter motor sucking up all the juice and not leaving any for the spark plugs. That is a sickening sound on a cold day when it is necessary to be someplace.
The OFs start pumping the gas pedal and either cussing at, or cajoling the d--- car to start, when deep down it is the OF’s own fault for the vehicle not to do so. The OFs discussed all the remedies from covering the engine with blankets, to using lead lights, to getting out the ether, to bringing the battery in the house.
The OFs don’t see much of this anymore, if at all. This is one place where the OFs agree technology has paid off in making life easier.
Travelers’ perspective
The OFs who have traveled to the western part of the country talked about what the terrain and climate was in that section of the United States. One of the things they discussed is the Four Corners where visitors are able to (if they want to look like a spider, as one OF put it) be in four states at the same time.
The four states are Colorado, Utah, Arizona, and New Mexico. It is interesting to visit these areas, but the OFs thought it was always good to get back home. Conversely, if visitors originally from the wide-open spaces of the Southwest came to New York, they probably would be just as glad to get back home.
Those OFs who are quasi-glad to be back home, and were able to attend the breakfast at the Home Front Café in Altamont, were: Roger Chapman, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Roger Shafer, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Glenn Patterson, Chuck Aelesio, Otis Lawyer, Mark Traver, Jack Norray, Lou Schenck, Mack Porter, Wayne Gaul, Gerry Irwin, Bill Rice, Henry Whipple, Jim Rissacher, Ted Willsey, Marty Herzog, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen and me.
Location:
Eating at the Chuck Wagon Diner is like going back in time. The restored diner was wheeled across the state to its current home in Princetown.
It was cold last Tuesday morning! It has been colder by a lot, but for some reason the OFs thought it was really cold when they got to the Chuck Wagon Diner in Princetown. The OFs are not yet conditioned for single-digit numbers, above and below the zero mark.
There are up-sides to misery at times. This time it was the clear, cold early morning, with no wind, plus there was a great feel to the air; then, when looking up and seeing the crescent moon and bright stars running away to make room for the sun to arrive, this feeling seemed to take some of the cold away. Great start for the first Old Men of the Mountain breakfast in 2016.
The number of OFs who were at this first breakfast showed (at least this time) that the OFs can deal with the cold, but snow, sleet, and freezing rain kept most of them in the week before. Those OFs with outdoor furnaces have to get up and feed that furnace no matter what the temperature is. So, while they are up and dressed (the OFs are not going to run out at 20-below in the snow and in their PJs to feed the furnace), they might just as well go to breakfast.
Failing eyes or smaller print?
The OFs are in the stage of life now where everything hurts; the ears do not hear as well, and the eyes do not see as well, so this brings the OFs to large print. Most of the OFs say it is not their eyes; they maintain it is the printed matter that has gotten smaller.
One OF said he did a comparison on phone books. He was using an old phone book as a prop. Who hasn’t used a phone book to prop something up? But to leave it there since 1979 is a little unusual. It seems the OF should have fixed whatever it was by now.
However, the OF compared the print in that decades-old book with the print of the newer phone books, and he found there is no comparison. He could read the old phone book with ease, and in the new phone book the names and numbers were just thin black lines.
An OF mentioned he gets the Readers Digest in large print and that large print does make it easier to read. This OF said he doesn’t have the eye strain with this large-print version; however, the OF is still capable of reading the regular Readers Digest but there is eye strain involved after a period of time when reading regular print version.
The OFs surmised that it comes down to dollars and cents (as it usually does). The OFs think publishers can place more information on fewer pages with tiny print, and eye doctors can sell more spectacles.
Distinguishing eggs
This scribe in not a food connoisseur so he is not sure if there is much difference in eggs. For instance, do duck eggs taste different than chicken eggs, or do chicken eggs taste different than goose eggs?
The OFs were kidding another OF with his response to being fed pigeon eggs. How did the OF know they were not eggs from a chicken?
There seems to be the seed of a little survey here. We should try to get a sampling of different bird eggs, and see how they compare.
Those OFs who have tried eating rattlesnake say it tastes like chicken. The rest of the OFs have to take their word for it.
There were not many takers on the survey anyhow. The OFs are meat-and-potato guys, not too adventuresome in the culinary department. The OFs are more of the “Let Mikey have it, he’ll eat anything” variety.
Fickle time
The OFs touched on a subject many people get into. That was: What makes some days go fast, and some days just seem to drag?
One thought was to have an appointment or plan in the not to distant future — good or bad. Some plans being considered were going to the dentist, or going to the hospital for a procedure, when some of your wife’s friends are coming over that you can’t stand.
Time just flies by and the next thing you know the day has flown by. When the OF has a family outing, or fishing or hunting trip, all of a sudden it seems like the fun trip is never going to get here.
A simplified reasoning is: If it is fun, time seems to fly by while you’re doing it; if the OF hates what he is doing, time seems to drag; or, if the future plan is fun, time is also a drag (i.e., the time drags before you can get do it.
One OF mentioned that he enjoys coming to the breakfast and looks forward to them. The OF said that sometimes the time between breakfasts is short, like he just left one breakfast, and is on the way to the next; yet sometimes he wonders to himself will Tuesday ever get here.
Another OF pondered: What if we did not have years, months, weeks, days, hours and minutes — would anything being done collectively get done?
It would be hard but most projects would get done, not in a reasonable time, but, if we were not concerned with time by years, months, weeks, days, hours and minutes, who would know when it was done and who would care because time is not being measured? Whatever it was would just stand there completed whenever.
The OFs do care, and those OFs who care that it was morning, and it was Tuesday and they were at the Chuck Wagon Diner in Princetown, were: Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Roger Chapman, Bill Lichliter, Chuck Aelesio, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Lou Schenck, Gerry Irwin, Jack Norray, Wayne Gaul, Mace Porter, Jim Rissacher, Marty Herzog, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Elwood Vanderbilt, Henry Whipple, Ted Willsey, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
Haven in a storm: On a dark and snowy Tuesday morning, the glow of neon warmly welcomes the Old Men of the Mountain to breakfast at the Duanesburg Diner.
On the last Tuesday of year 2015, Dec. 29, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg. This was the first day that the OFs have even had a hint of winter driving.
Early in the morning, the roads to the Duanesburg Diner had some snow, and it was sleeting by the time the OFs who made it to Duanesburg and were fed. When the time came for the OFs to head home, it was not bad at all.
This scribe discussed the column with a published writer who reads the column but lives waaaay out of the area; he said he understands the problem of writing the column with a semblance of freshness because of the redundancy of conversations the OFs must have. Which, to the OFs, are not redundant, but variations of topics that have been covered many times before.
This makes reporting the fodder fed to the scribe by the OFs difficult. However, it is not unique to the scribe because he, too, is an OF and it all seems relevant and new to him.
One point the scribe failed to bring up in the conversation with the author, is that much of the chatter of the OMOTM is on aging and the problems that tag along with getting older and how the OFs cope. The scribe was taught many years ago the best way to learn anything and retain it was through repetition.
In that regard (and the scribe cites this as an example) the discussion of ticks in different ways, and repetitively, should help those who read the column (and the OFs themselves) to know what to do, how to realize they have been bitten, and how to avoid and understand the world of ticks.
Beaver pelts worthless
Now to the conversations of Tuesday morning.
One OF reported that he was called to remove some beavers from a pond where the beavers were causing a lot of trouble, and property damage. After obtaining the proper permits, the OF harvested five beavers from the pond.
The OF said the beavers were very large and he was glad he had help in getting them out. This OF told the other OFs that, now that Russia is mad at us and not buying the beaver pelts, the bottom has fallen out of the beaver pelt business.
The Chinese demand has not picked up the slack so it is hardly worth the gas money to mess with these animals. That may be way they are proliferating to the point where they really are becoming a nuisance.
Bourbon honey?
Our resident beekeeper reported that one of the honey people he knows is buying used bourbon kegs and filling them with honey. This fellow is going to leave the honey in the kegs for a yet-to-be-determined amount of time.
The prototype apparently showed that the honey will absorb some of the bourbon flavor from the kegs. The alcohol will be long gone so only the flavor will be left and the theory is he will have bourbon-flavored honey.
He hopes this will catch on. It might with the “I’m going to hire a wino to decorate our home” crowd.
Water scarcity
The OFs discussed the reality that more homes being built in some areas of the Hilltowns are affecting the water tables. Residents of some homes (as other houses are being constructed around them) have noticed their well levels have gone down to the point where some have run out of water, or their wells have taken a longer time to recover.
These OFs report that wells that previously delivered 10- to 12-gallons-a-minute water flow are now in jeopardy.
Fish tales
The OFs progressed from this type of water to local streams, and lakes, specifically Warner Lake, and Thompson’s Lake and the stocking of fish. Some of the OFs were pretty sure the process of restocking is still going on, while a few others were not so sure.
An OF mentioned some state hatcheries have been closed and the only reason they could think of was state budget restraints.
The OFs started their fish tales on the size of some of the fish they have in their ponds, or ponds they know of, especially the size of some of the carp and catfish. These two aquatic scavengers do keep the OFs’ ponds clean. One OF mentioned that he has grass-eating catfish in his pond and they are pretty good sized and do gobble up some of the algae.
Name changes
The OFs talked about name changes and some of the OFs’ names are not their real names. The OFs told stories that, when their parents emigrated, quite often their names would be changed at Ellis Island to a more common name so they would be able to find work more easily.
One OF mentioned his father’s name was changed from what it was to a more “Americanized” name so he could do just that — take employment. This OF said that one of his father’s brothers also changed his name and it was different than the one his father took, again for the same reason. His other uncles did not have to change their names because they stayed on the farm.
Social Security and birth records must have a grand time with all this. Anyway, “Hey, you” works for anyone and is gender neutral.
Those braving the weather and making it to the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg and sitting in the warmth of the diner with hot cups of coffee were: Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Roger Chapman, Gerry Irwin, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, and me, and that’s it.
Location:
Tuesday, Dec. 22, the morning temperature at 5:30 was 43 degrees; it was cloudy, and still dark.
The Old Men of the Mountain congregated at Mrs. K’s restaurant in Middleburgh as is the tradition of the breakfast before Christmas. Loretta, as usual, put on a buffet with all kinds of goodies, plus meat and cheese platters, crackers, pickles, and homemade fruitcake. This was a real Christmas spread for the OMOTM to start with, and then the OFs ordered breakfast.
More than one of the OFs is musically bent (meaning they have talent and they are not shaped like the G cleft symbol). One of these OFs has a small group that played for the party at Mrs. K’s.
It is only fair to mention the members of the group, starting with Roger Shafer who is the OF, then Debbie Fish, and, rounding out the trio, Tom White. Many of the OFs are talented in other ways and the OMOTM as a group is quite lucky to have all this knowledge and talent sitting at the same table.
The group played such rousing songs as “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” and one that espoused the fact the OFs do not really enjoy the view they get of themselves without clothes in front of the mirror — “I Just Don’t Look Good Naked Anymore” by Errol Gray.
One OF mentioned he needs a GPS system to follow the wrinkles to find his toes so he can cut his toenails, and then he needs to fire up the chainsaw to do it.
The OFs would like to thank Roger for bringing this little group to the breakfast Tuesday morning and getting the OFs in the Christmas spirit — snow sure is not going to do it this year.
Spring in December
Speaking of snow, many of the OFs reported on how the weather is so much like spring that one OF has a sporadic growth of the yellow flowers of his forsythia blooming, and another OF said that his lilacs are beginning to look green. Still another said that the maple trees by him have the red cast of budding, and one tree, he thought, even had a few green leaves.
A couple of the OFs said the birds are not visiting the feeders either; the birds are around, they noted, but the seed is still there uneaten. One OF said he thinks the birds are getting their fill of what they like best and only come to his feeder for dessert.
The OFs may have reported this before but some have stated they have spotted a few farmers getting the jump on spring plowing. These thrifty farmers might just as well take advantage of the weather, and fuel while it is relatively cheap.
There is a chance come spring the price of fuel will go up or, as one OF said, “It could also go lower.”
To which another OF said, “Don’t count on it. If I was still farming, I would be out there doing the same thing. There is still going to be cold weather so then I would still have time to catch up on repairing equipment, and barn maintenance. Spring might then not catch me by surprise and I only have half my winter chores done.”
Getting dressed
A group of OFs at the end of the table near the kitchen was talking about how they have to get dressed now, and the way they get dressed.
One OF said, whether he is barefoot or has socks on, even when putting on his shorts, quite often a foot becomes caught in one leg or the other and he almost topples over. The other OFs knew exactly what he was talking about because they have the same problem.
Another OF said he has to lean against something now to put on his socks, shorts, and pants. Yet another OF said he pulls his pants halfway up and almost takes a header because invariably he is standing on his suspenders. Another round of grunts and yes-es in agreement.
Next comes the process of putting the OF’s arms through his sleeves. One OG said he can get the left arm in the sleeve then he can’t even find the hole in the sleeve to get the right arm in. He said he is there flipping and flopping the shirt, or sweater, or coat all over the place trying to get the right arm into the sleeve.
Another OF said he has the same problem but solved it somewhat by not pulling his shirt up high before putting his right arm in. Then he hunches his back and kind of flips it up to his shoulders.
Clothes for kids and for the OFs take a beating; it is amazing fabric and thread can be so tough. In the movies, where some seductress rips the shirt off a guy’s back, the shirt must be prop. Tain’t that easy, Magee.
Some OFs said they have seen guys get part of their clothing caught in a gear, or spinning drive shaft and it does not tear. Many farmers have been seriously hurt with loose fitting clothing getting caught in unguarded whirling parts.
Those OMOTM attending the party at Mrs. K’s in Middleburgh and offering their thanks to Loretta and her staff for all they do on the Tuesday before Christmas were: Robie Osterman, Steve Kelly, Harold Guest, George Washburn, Roger Chapman, John Rossmann, Henry Witt, Jim Heiser, Miner Stevens, Dave Williams, Karl Remmers, Alvin Latham, Roger Shafer, Chuck Aelesio, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Don Wood, Wayne Gaul, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Ted Willsey, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Jim Rissacher, Marty Herzog, Elwood Vanderbilt, Mike Willsey, Gerry Cartier, Henry Whipple, Harold Grippen and me.
Location:
— Photo by John Williams
The Old Men of the Mountain gathered at the Your Way Café last week. “The OMOTM do not frequent the fanciest of places, only the good ones,” said scribe and photographer John R. Williams.
The Old Men of the Mountain were fortunate enough on Tuesday, Dec. 15, to meet at the Your Way Café in Schoharie.
The OFs were a little nervous because the member who was on duty to call the restaurants ahead of time and warn them that the OFs were coming had received no answer when calling the café. Panicsville erupted.
The caller contacted two other OFs and found out that the café was closed that day so the staff could have its annual Christmas party. Whew — can’t blame them, they are entitled some time off to have fun.
The OFs found out that the staff really had a party; it was a two-day affair. On Sunday they headed to the Turning Stone Casino, had their party and stayed over and returned Monday.
Monday, the OFs are assuming, was the “clear the head day” to get ready for the work week, not knowing until they saw the note on the door that the OMOTM would be there in a few hours. Welcome back — now get to work.
The etiquette of illness
One topic of conversation was keeping track of those OFs who have been ill, or are ill. Sometimes an OF will report on another OF who has missed a few gatherings and the rest of the OFs find out the OF has been really sick, and may have even been in the hospital, or just got out of said establishment.
To some OFs, it is like they are gossipers and don’t want to dwell on other’s misfortunes, while others like to know what’s going on so they can see if there is anything they can do to help.
Other OFs say they have problems with visiting the sick or those who are having real problems health-wise. A few OFs declared they don’t know what to say, and are not much for chitchat, and maybe the OF in the bad situation just wants to be left alone.
One OF said that the OFs who are having problems should not be dropped or deserted. It is good to know (especially when one is under the weather) that people are still thinking of them, whether they are OFs or not.
It is good that the OFs who really know the OFs who are hurting, and will bring this information to the group so the OFs who want to respond in whatever way they feel comfortable can react. None of the OFs are vultures just waiting to feed on others’ misfortunes; it is just the opposite.
Coffee customs
This scribe notices that, at the breakfast, the waitresses keep the coffee cups filled up and hot. The OFs, in their conversations as they sit at the tables, sip their coffee (some do not take coffee) as the conversation rolls on.
When they have reached their fill, they will say, “I’m good,” or, “I’m fine,” or, “No thanks,” but that comes after a considerable amount of the hot, black, liquid has been consumed. When with friends and in pleasant conversation, the sipping of the liquid is not realized, and the OFs wonder why they have to use the restroom when they get ready to leave.
This is another scribe’s, “Well, duh.” The OFs’ bladders tain’t what they used to be.
Ticked off
Many of the OFs are outdoor people, and the problem with ticks comes up time and time again. This time, they were discussing that the warm weather is keeping these buggers active.
Some OFs have reported they are still coming out of the brush with a good number of ticks on them. Most of the OFs say the ticks are on their clothes, not on their bodies, because they are using string or rubber bands around their wrist and ankles, and their collars are buttoned tight.
Droning on
The popularity of a new fad (which the OFs think is more than a fad) came up and that is the use of drones. Like radio-controlled airplanes, these devices can be a lot of fun, and are inexpensive enough for beginners to get into the hobby.
Again, like RCs, once hooked, the hobby can become a lot more expensive and competitive. But the OFs said, like everything else, irresponsible users will spoil it for everyone by making it necessary to develop laws, rules, and regulations to control the hobby.
One OF mentioned that this is already being done because the drones are interfering with planes. Then another OF said that some of these drones are cheap and have cameras that take beautiful pictures, and might be taking pictures that interfere with people’s privacy.
Others, an OF said, could be carrying things like paint bombs the operator could drop on his neighbor’s lawn furniture and think it was funny.
One OF said that, if one of those things flew over his property, he would wait for it and, if it flew over a second time, he’d let it “have it” with his 12 gauge. Another OF said he could see where these things could cause a lot of trouble.
Fun gets complicated
The OFs think we have a hobby that very innocuously is causing problems and that is the use of laser lights in Christmas displays. One OF said he has heard the problem with these lights is, because they are visible from a considerable height in the sky, pilots are confusing them with airport lights, especially the navi lights (red and white lights) that tell a pilot if he is coming in too high or too low, or if his approach is right on.
“Boy,” one OF said, “What seems like normal fun is sure getting complicated.”
Those OFs who made it to the Your Way Café in Schoharie, and seeing that the café was ready for them with just a few hours notice, were: Jim Heiser, Glenn Patterson, Miner Stevens, Bill Lichliter, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, John Rossmann, Dave Williams, Harold Guest, Mark Traver, Chuck Aelesio, Roger Chapman, Roger Shafer (who carries a complete tool box in his pocket), Karl Remmers, Gerry Irwin, Wayne Gaul, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Lou Schenck, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Jim Rissacher, Elwood Vanderbilt, Gerry Chartier, Mike Willsey, Harold Grippen, Ted Willsey, and me.