The first day of September this year was on a Tuesday, and, through a haze mixed with fog, some OFs had to use their windshield wipers (on their way to the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg) in the early morning because of the temperature inversion. 

The flood of Tropical Storm Irene four years ago (almost to the day) is still causing problems. Some of the localities have seen some improvement and a lot of work has been done but most of this work was done by people helping people.

To recover from all the havoc caused by this storm, it is easy to understand that complete recovery from Irene, like the complete recovery from Katrina, may never happen. What about all these other natural catastrophes all over the planet? Is “recovery” a good word at all?

This discussion was brought about by the work that has been halted on the little Schoharie creek because the work was not being done to specifications, or maybe the contractor was doing what he thought was right but the oversight was poor and the contractor was never made aware of all the mistakes that were being made.

What prompted this dialogue came from the OFs who live in Schoharie County.  They are concerned about how the county is going to raise the $10 million to finish this work. The population of Schoharie “tain’t that big McGee.”

How old is an antique?

The OFs talked a bit on a subject they know well, and that would be antiques, especially if something 50 years old is being discussed.

Many people call a particular item an antique. The OFs call them “well-used” because the OFs are antiques themselves and they probably used the item when it was new.

To the OFs, this is not an antique. An antique to the OFs has to be at least 100 years old.

Replacement parts

The OFs included cars in this conversation and how many cars have gone by the wayside. One OF said he thought manufacturers had to make replacement parts for cars for only seven years. The OF wasn’t too sure about this but he seemed pretty sure.

Another OF said he thought that it depended on what the object was. “That meant,” the OF said, “if you owned a car made in 2008, it was not necessary for the manufacture to manufacture parts for that car now.”

This is going to send the scribe on a little research trek.

This scribe started looking (googling) into this allegation, and by using the words “seven year requirement on parts” found that this phrase is so ambiguous that even using it as a generic term is not too smart. This scribe found that, in looking (googling) up the information, it is so convoluted a Philadelphia lawyer would have problems, and also probably would give up, as this scribe did. 

The OFs started mentioning a few of the cars that they remembered, and some of the OFs had these vehicles, or their parents did, and neither parents nor vehicles are still around. These  include Nash, Hudson, Packard, Studebaker, Auburn, Hupmobile, LaSalle, and more.

Modern names are gone too, i.e., Oldsmobile, Plymouth, Saturn, Pontiac, Mercury, which are a few of the later-year car models. The OFs think they might have even missed some because one OF said that they had a Maxwell, and another a Graham Page.

One OF said, “Remember the Jack Benny show, and Rochester driving the Maxwell?”  

How about the White and Reo trucks?  They were good old, dependable farm trucks. 

One OF said, “Throw in the makes of tractors that have disappeared and we have quite a list of major business that have either been gobbled up by other companies or have just closed the doors.” A lot of household names of companies have come and gone in 70-plus years, and many of these were large companies too.

Historic sites

The OFs chatted about the Old Stone Fort in Schoharie and how some of the OFs have just completed jobs around the fort that they volunteered for. Many historical places need these types of volunteers because they represent what and how this area came to be.

Unfortunately, many are under-funded but very important to our local history. In addition to that, only a small section of the populace is even interested in going to these places and supporting them.

The OFs, as stated, are antiques themselves so therefore can equate to the plight of many of these historical sites, locally and around the state. The OFs are all underfunded, and can comprehend exactly what these sites are going through. Some OFs have to apply for a grant so the OF can purchase a new set of bibs. 

The OFs can remember $5 jeans, 10-cent coffee, a quarter for a gallon of gas, and, in 1940 or so, a four-door Ford sedan was about $700 brand new. Then one OF interjected the following: “I remember making 50 cents an hour and that was good.”

Another OF said he moved up and was given a raise to $88 every two weeks. “On that,” the OF said, “we went out and bought a house.”

This OF said he and his wife said, if they ever made $100 a week, they could live like millionaires. 

Restaurants return

The OFs were once concerned that eating establishments on the hill were disappearing but that is now not the case. The OFs talked about two great places to eat on the hill, which are the Township Tavern on Route 146, and Maple on the Lake — the old Scholz- Zwicklbauer’s Hofbrau on Warners Lake Road.

One of the OMOTM plays music on the deck of the Maple on the Lake. So what’s left has been resurrected.

Condolences

The OMOTM would like to offer their condolences and sympathies to Duncan Bellinger and his family on the passing of his wife, Shirley, after 57 years of marriage. 

Those OFs who made it to the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg, where the fine breakfasts that came from the kitchen prompted the talk about food, were: Roger Chapman, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Miner Stevens, Karl Remmers, Roger Shafer, Dave Williams, Bill Bartholomew, Jim Heiser, Chuck Aelesio, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Jay Taylor, Bob Benac, Joe Ketzeka, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Ted Willsey, Duane Wagenbaugh, Rich Donnelly, Bob Lassome, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Harold Grippen, Elwood Vanderbilt, and me.

Location:

— Photo from John R. Williams

Gearing at the head of these dehorning clippers lets them open and close with ease; they are not rusted shut. “The square head bolt, with a square nut have been long gone,” says John R. Williams. The clippers are among old farm tools bought by one of the Old Men of the Mountain.

The Your Way Café in Schoharie was the restaurant under attack by The Old Men of The Mountain on Tuesday, Aug. 25.

Many of the OFs arrived at the Your Way Café at the same time Tuesday morning; four or five cars entered the parking lot just about simultaneously. The OFs unfolded out of their vehicles like most OFs, slowly, and with purpose.

The OFs greeted each other with the congenial “Good morning (enter name), you’re looking good this morning.” Most of the time that was true but there were the occasions when it was a lie.

This is similar to the OF’s reply when other OFs ask, “Hey (enter name), how ya feelin’?” or, “How ya doin’?” The standard reply from the OGs is generally, “Great,” or, “Top shelf,” or, “If I felt any better, I would be dead.”

As a rule, this is a bunch of malarkey, too. Most of the OFs have aches and pains too numerous to mention so listing them all would take way too much time, so “I’m fit as a fiddle” will do.

Old farm tools

An OMOTM breakfast would not be complete if the OFs did not discuss farming. Tuesday morning, the OFs discussed dehorning cattle (mostly cattle); no one mentioned goats or other animals with horns. However, this dehorning is also a practice with them, especially when goats get rambunctious.

What brought this up was the piece of information from one OF who bought perhaps a couple of wagon loads of old farming equipment and one of the items among the “stuff” was an old pair of dehorning shears.

These types of shears are still being used for dehorning today, along with saws, wire, and caustic chemicals. The saw of choice today is a “Sawzall”; however, back in the OFs’ day, it was a hacksaw.

No matter what, farming is a bloody business.

Great Depression recalled

Tuesday was the first morning after the big drop in stocks, and some of the OFs said their spending cash will be a little short, but none of the OFs seemed really concerned. As one OF mentioned, he has so little in the stock market that it doesn’t matter which way Wall Street goes — up or down.

Many of the OFs remember the Big One (Depression Era: 1929 to 1939) and how eventually it took World War II to get us out of it. During World War II, the whole country experienced the process of government rationing.

This was not too hard to take because the rationale of the Depression and not having anything anyway just carried over into a different word for not having anything. Only this post-war time there was money around, but during rationing the OFs had nothing to buy.

Many of the OFs went through this time in our nation’s history, and as one OF said when explaining this part of the home front’s effort in World War II to his grandkids, they had no idea what he was talking about.

The OF said, “What do they teach in school today?”

Another OF said “They teach them how to land a Rover on a moving asteroid that is not very big and it is moving at least a gazillion miles an hour.”

The USA wasn’t the only country that was affected by the Great Depression. It was worldwide.

This recent market drop supposedly started in China, but the OFs say this country has so much Chinese money loaned to us it won’t last long. Another OF said, if they ever ask for their loans back from our country in a hurry, the good ole US of A is in deep do-do.

Computer advice

The OFs who have computers were talking about the “new” operating system, Windows 10. The OFs who do not have Outlook Express think it is great, and in some respects those OFs who do have Outlook Express agree, saying that many aspects of 10 are like Windows 7.

One OF said he still has Windows 7, to which another OF said, “Keep it.”

One OF recommended that, if you have Outlook Express, don’t take Windows 10 until Microsoft arrives at a solution to that problem. It really screws up the email as it will not open any hyperlinks.

Parrott House redone

The OFs realize that The Enterprise is geared to Guilderland, the Hilltowns, New Scotland, Slingerlands, parts of Delmar, and not much to the other side of mountain into Schoharie and that area. However, the OFs’ circle of schools was Berne-Knox-Westerlo, Schoharie, and Middleburgh.

Those who are familiar with this bit of geography know of the Parrott House in Schoharie, and the problems it has been having. Finally someone has taken over this building and appears to be doing extensive work on the structure.

One OF reported that it is being completely gutted all because of the flood from Tropical Storm Irene in 2011. The antiquity of the place, including the bar, has been taken out.

The OFs who are familiar with this situation say that is sad because, if refurbished, the character and history of the Parrott House, once again, could result in quite a tourist attraction for the county.

On the other hand, maybe, if it were clean and new, the Parrot House could start a history of its own. This scribe, as on OF, can see one dining room devoted to the original history of the hotel, and another dining room devoted to history of the hotel after the flood, including pictures of the flood.

The Old Men of the Mountain who were able to make it to the Your Way Café in Schoharie, and bring half their breakfast home to their wives, were: Chuck Aleseio, Roger Shafer, Miner Stevens, Dave Williams, Bill Bartholomew, George Washburn, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Roger Chapman, Robie Osterman, Otis Lawyer, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Frank Pauli, Bill Lichliter, Bob Benac with his guests Kaleb Bsandoin, and Skye Benac, Rich Donnelly, Bob Lassome, Duane Wagenbaugh, Bill Krause,  Charles Jones, Jay Taylor, Art Frament, Joe Ketzeka, Lou Schenck, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Duncan Bellinger, Don Wood, Joe Becker, Ted Willsey, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Harold Grippen, Elwood Vanderbilt, and me.

Location:

The Old Men of the Mountain recently met at the Country Café on Main Street in Schoharie. It was a warm Tuesday morning on Aug. 18 and many of the OFs were at the Café before seven — probably couldn’t sleep, or the wives gave them the boot so they could get their work done in the cool of the morning without the OF in the way.

Last week, the OFs discussed the many ways of reaching the southern climes of the country. Tuesday morning, an OF was relating his trials and tribulations on Route 95.  He was attempting to head to Route 17 and cross over to Route 81 to come up to Albany.

This OF said it took over four hours to get through Richmond and Fredericksburg, Virginia to get to Route 17 and then onto Route 66 and then Route 81. This OF apparently missed last week’s conversation.

Then another OF mentioned that his stepson made it to the Daytona area in just 19 hours a couple of days ago. This scribe checked Google (what else) and found that Google reports it is approximately 1,200 miles and driving straight through is roughly 17-and-a-half hours. Allowing for true departure and arrival points, the 19 hours is not bad.

Rotten tomatoes and sinister snakes

The gardener’s report is that their garden produce is coming along nicely, except for their tomatoes. According to the OFs, the tomatoes are ripening very slowly, and they are having blight, and rot problems. So much for that.

Quite often, the OFs talk about snakes, and how the OFs handle them. Some don’t like them at all, and others consider them quite helpful.

There are a few OFs who place even rattlesnakes and copperheads in the “they are helpful” category. Other OFs think differently when it comes to those that are a tad on the nasty side and can make you sick if they happen to get their fangs into you.

This was brought up again by an OF who said one of his kids caught a coral snake at their place in Florida and had it in a bucket. This OF said it was a coral snake but some of the OFs were skeptical because there is a snake that mimics a coral snake.

This OF should know the difference though because he has been in Florida quite some time.  There is a rhyme that goes: Red touches black, safe for Jack. Red touches yellow, kills a fellow. (Let alone the rhyme, don’t mess with either one).

Also, with the coral snake, the round-eye allegory is out the window. This scribe was taught, at least up in the Northeast, if a snake has a round eye, it is harmless but, if a snake has a flat eye, leave it alone.  Who is going to get down and look a snake in the eye to check that one out?

Mystery drink

The OFs began an unusual conversation about the drink Mathusalem. No OF knew how to spell it and what was in it.

The OFs sent this scribe to Google once more. (“Google” is now a verb.) The scribe found there is such a drink and it is champagne and is very expensive. In 2012, at auction, a bottle of 1996 Don Peron Rose Gold Mathusalem went for $500,000 to a buyer in Hong Kong.

This champagne is made from well-ripened nectarines and “wild” strawberries. The OFs should get a case of this drink and give it out as Christmas presents.

Road edges

The OFs observed how many people have time on their hands (and an expensive lawn mower). Just traveling around this area, the OFs wonder who has the money for gas to mow the edges of the road so they look like manicured lawns for thousands of feet. Not that the OFs are complaining because it makes the highway look like the OF is driving through a park, but it is also safer, especially on turns.

This year, the sweet clover grew like trees and at times does hamper the OFs’ vision. The asters, like everything else in the plant world this year, are prolific and taller than usual. These plants grow along the side of the highway and are tough.

If only grass could take the weather changes like these two plants. This year, the OFs commented that the sides of the roads not mowed are like driving down the aisles in a florist shop — more so than previous years.

Chains recalled

With the temperature 90 degrees outside, the OFs were talking about the winter and how the roads are maintained differently now than they were in the 1950s and ’60s or even the ’70s. Back then, most cars, trucks, and buses carried chains, and used them.

Today, many young drivers don’t even know what chains are. (They think “chains” are something you wear around your neck.)

One OF attributed this to the over-use of salt on highways, which the OFs maintain ruins the roads.  Not only does the initial price of salt cost the taxpayers tons of money, but so does repairing the roads and filling potholes because of using so much salt.

One OF mentioned that he thought, up north, especially at the Tug Hill Plateau, they use mostly sand and let the snow pack down and these areas seem to get along very well without using a lot of salt. The OF also added, “Up there, they get snow.”

Those OFs who made it to the Country Café in Schoharie without having to put on chains to get there, were: Miner Stevens, Dave Williams, Bill Bartholomew, Chuck Aelesio, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Harold Guest, Frank Pauli, Jim Heiser, Duncan Bellinger, Roger Shafer, Lou Schenck, Gerry Irwin, Jack Norray, Art Frament, Jay Taylor, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Roger Fairchild, Bob Benac, Joe Ketzeko, Mark Hollobaugh, Duane Wagenbaugh, Rich Donnelly, Ted Willsey, Bob Lassome, Bill Krause, Mike Willsey, Harold Grippen, Elwood Vanderbilt, Gerry Chartier, and me.

Location:

On a wet, and rainy (is that really a word) Tuesday, Aug. 11, the Old Men of the Mountain met at Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh.

This scribe must report that he was not there. This scribe was called by someone higher to be someplace else.

However, this scribe took a few notes at previous breakfasts concerning what the OFs are talking about, what they have done, what they plan on doing, and their opinions on this and that. Many times, there are too many topics to include in this OF report.

This scribe tries to keep it to five typed pages, but this scribe’s wife says that is too many; she maintains that two paragraphs is all that is needed to say anything these OGs have to say.

What this scribe is getting at is that, in this report, it will cover a few of the topics that did not make other reports. Also, while the scribe is making a confession of sorts, some of the notes jotted down are not suitable for a family paper.

Maybe the notes would be suitable for the National Enquirer, but not The Altamont Enterprise. OK!  Now for some past topics which will bring us up to date.

Far-flung travels

The good ole U.S. of A. is a large country with some of our states being larger than many countries.  For instance, the country of Italy is just slightly larger than the state of Arizona, yet the OFs talk of traveling to parts of our country as if they were day trips.

It is common to be talking about running to Florida like it is just traveling to Cobleskill for a cup of coffee. Jaunting off to Maine is like running to the post office, or some OFs just hop in the car and pop up to Montreal to go to a ball game.

To take some of the trips in other parts of the world, the OFs would need a pocket full of passports, and a fist full of funny money just to travel from one city to another. In last week’s column, the OFs were talking about this very same phenomenon by discussing the various ways of getting from the Hilltowns to spot “A” in Florida.

Vexing visitors

Another conversation awhile back was on visitors. Some of the OFs are of the type that people just drop in on.

What draws them to a certain OF’s domicile is not really known. Are the dropper-inners, actually freeloaders because the OF always has cold beer in a refrigerator in the garage, or is it just the OF’s karma?

Other OFs said their wives raise quite a fuss if people drop in unannounced and they can’t get the house looking like a page out of Better Homes and Gardens. One OF admitted he was not the type that people dropped in on, saying, “Even my kids are rare visitors.”

Some OFs, though, are just stay-at-home type of guys and don’t care either way.  The OFs were not sure what generated the category a particular OF will fit in, but it is noticeable that this is some kind of observable fact and all the OFs maintain they do have the proper hygiene. 

“A gathering of misfits”

Then the discussion centered on organizations like churches, social clubs, Parent Teacher Associations, ball teams, or whatever, and it was noted these groups all have their own little cliques within the main body of the basic group.

One OF said it is a good idea to join any group with a group of your friends rather than trying to join alone. Another OF likened it to square dancing, saying that it is a good idea to show up at a dance with your own square rather than to show up alone.

This OF said, even if it is just you and another couple, somehow it seems to work better.

One OF added, “This advice works for those from other clubs coming to your dance.”

To this OF, it was OK to show up alone at your own club’s dance.

An OF asked a question out of the blue wondering if “square dancing is now as popular as it once was.”

One OF said that, if any organization becomes too “cliquey” and gets to the point where newcomers really feel unwanted, the whole organization might just fold up.

But another OF said, “Did you ever notice that some people have the type of personality that they will fit in anywhere?”

Then one OF said he understands, and sometime wonders what he is doing “hanging out with all you OFs.

 To which another OFs said, “It is because nobody else wants you, you OG; we are the only ones that will put up with you.”

“I guess you are right,” the OF said. “This whole group is a gathering of misfits.”

To which another OF added, “If this is a gathering of misfits, that’s fine with me; I like this group of misfits who do not prejudge anybody.”

Those OFs who made it to Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh and chatted about who knows what on Aug. 11 — because this scribe was not there to eavesdrop — were: (according to the appointed Chief Assistant Scribe) Harold Guest, Frank Pauli, Roger Chapman, Roger Shafer, Duncan Bellinger, Dave Williams, Chuck Aelesio, Glenn Patterson, Jim Heiser, Otis Lawyer, Steve Kelly, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Bill Bartholomew, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Jay Taylor, Herb Sawotka, Art Frament, Bob Lassome, Bob Benac, Jack Benac, Joe Ketzeko, Ted Willsey, Duane Wagenbaugh, Rich Donnelly, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Lou Schenck, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, but not me.

Location:

Logo logic: The Minnesota Twins baseball team has a TC logo, which stands for Twin Cities — St. Paul and Minneapolis — and was adopted by the Washington Senators in 1961 when the team moved to Minnesota. It’s the same logo as Twin City tractor, which was built by the Minneapolis Steel & Machinery Company until 1929.

The Old Men of the Mountain decided to gather at the Middleburgh Diner, in Middleburgh, on Tuesday, Aug. 4, and already there are a few trees changing color. The OFs think that this is noted every year, and there is nothing unusual about it.

It is a little disheartening, though, to see it and realize, with the shorter days and the beginning of the colors of autumn touching the leaves, that summer is on the wane. Many OFs have not caught up with the wear of last winter’s repairs yet. 

Tuesday’s breakfast was catching-up-time with people the OFs remembered from school and work.

One OF would say, “Have you heard how so and so is doing?  I haven’t seen or heard anything about him for years.”

Some other OF might know and fill in the blanks, or maybe all the OFs were in the same boat and the person in question, as far as this discussion goes, could be either dead or alive. If none of the OFs knew, then the one in question just seemed to have evaporated.

Still others were on the “where are they now list,” and an OF might say that they just saw them a little while ago, and would proceed to mention how they were doing.

The OF who inquired would say something like, “Have you got his number?  I would like to get in touch with this OF.”

This scribe noticed, after checking his notes, and trying to recall the conversations (and that is a challenge), that all the inquiries were about men, no requests were made to find where or how the distaff side was doing.

Apt analogy

As the OFs get older, they find out they are more like a machine than first thought. The OFs started putting things together like a tractor.

First the OFs need fuel — that is why the OFs come to a restaurant; it is the body’s gas station. Next thing, we have to do is get started — ah, the battery.

The OFs considered the brain and nervous system the battery and electronics. The stomach is the gas tank, and the heart is the fuel pump, and so it went.

Now the OFs added age to this machine and then things start to wear out ─ like knees, hips, back, eyes, shoulders etc. etc.            

The OFs soon equated doctors to mechanics, and hospitals to garages. The OFs don’t know how fair this is but it seems to them that the analogy was right on the money.

Tinderbox landscape

One OF’s brother was here on a visit from Seattle, Washington and a weather comparison between the Northeast and the far West was a natural. That area of the country has seen “about a quarter inch of rain, if even that much,” the guest said, “since April, and the air is dry.”

No wonder that section of the country is such a tinderbox, the OFs commented.

One OF was told by someone who lived close by to where many of these fires are, that in situations like what is happening now, the pine trees are loaded with “sap” and they become superheated. The weather is bone dry, the fire, as it approaches these trees, heats the trees up more; the closer the fire edges toward a tree or trees, all the heat brings the sap to its flash point then all it takes is one spark or ember and the tree explodes.

The OF said that a firefighter can be in close proximity to one of these trees ready to go and just like a bomb the tree erupts in flames. An OF remarked, “I will take my 10- to 15-below-zero any day rather than go through fire like that.”

Slow-time travel

The Seattle visitor prompted some discussion on the best way to get to Florida. The OFs will have to make their own maps.

The consensus was that they should take the less-traveled road and avoid the stress of the well-used highways. It may take longer — but not much.

The OFs also talked about how they used to make the trip down south by driving straight through. Not now. The OFs take their time and a few more days and stay over.

Now the OFs don’t have a bunch of fussy kids in the car, and some have accrued more money and do not have to make the trip by sustaining themselves on orange juice and crackers.

Twin logos

As most people who read this little gossip piece are aware, some of the OFs collect and restore old tractors. Some of these tractors are really old and the OFs get them cranking and going, brought to life by some tender, loving, care — thrown in among a bevy of colorful cuss words when things don’t go right.

One OF has quite a collection of toy tractors and this OF noticed that the logo for the Twin City tractor, which was produced in the early 1900s had a TC logo. The New York Yankees and Minnesota Twins were recently playing baseball and the toy collector noticed that the Minnesota Twins’ logo and the Twin City tractor logo were identical.

Now there is a bit of information that is totally useless to anybody but the OFs.

For more useless information. the OFs that made it to the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh and again chased all the waitresses away so there was only one left, were: Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Art Williams, George Washburn, John Rossmann, Frank Pauli, Harold Guest, Jim Guest, Glenn Patterson, Miner Stevens, Duncan Bellinger, Robie Osterman, Roger Shafer, Chuck Aelesio, Art Frament, Bob Benac, Joe Ketzeko, Don Wood, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Jack Norray, Lou Schenck, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Herb Sawotka, Roger Fairchild, Elwood Vanderbilt, Ted Willsey, Rich  Donnelly, Bob Lassome, Bill Krause, Duane Wagenbaugh, and me.               

Location:

The Old Men of the Mountain column most generally is one week behind. This week, the Old Men of the Mountain met on Tuesday, July, 28, at the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville and the group filled the place up — not completely filled up with OFs, but close.

The OFs do appreciate the restaurants that put up with us. It must be like waiting on a collection of people from The Home.

City traffic

A topic that is broached on occasion is traffic in the city. This topic is not the cities of Albany, Schenectady, or Troy but real cities — not sample cities. One OF compared it to the common remark when seeing someone walking a miniature schnauzer or a Cairn terrier or Chihuahua, the coarse person may blurt out, “Why don’t you get a real dog instead of a sample dog?” or something uncouth like that.

When approaching cities of a million people or more — now that is getting to be a real city and traffic is to be expected.

The OFs know now there is going to be traffic, and it is a good idea to have a full tank of gas because the OFs said traffic jams are common and do not untangle right away.

One OF’s grandson has a girlfriend that lives just outside the City. To those of the uninitiated, the OFs are supposed to know what city is being spoken of. To these people, there is only one city and its abbreviation is NYC.

The grandson of the OF had to explain to the girlfriend the difference in traffic. “In the City, traffic is traffic by the numbers,” the grandson told the girlfriend. “And the traffic where I live is a tractor on the road.” 

One OF, who traveled a lot when he was still working, said that the city of Albany and other cities around us are neat. The OF said he could be in downtown Albany and in a 15- to 20-minute drive, he realizes that he is counting cows.

The OF said, “Even going through the cities of Troy and Albany combined, from one end to the other, it is only about a 40-minute ride.” Plus the OF noted, “That is a lot of geography covered in 40 minutes.”

Another OF added, “Most of us who live in the country do not encounter much traffic, but those that live in Clifton Park and work in Schenectady or Albany might disagree with us that there is not traffic.”

“Try going to Saratoga in August,” was another reply and there is always the “yeah but”: One OF said, “Yeah, but that is just a few days out of the year — how about twice a day every day.”

“Touché,” the first OF answered.

That is one thing we didn’t have to worry about on the farm; it was a short walk from the house to the barn and you were at work, and the machinery shed was just as close.

One OF said he even had a place to sleep in the manger because it was warmer in the winter than his bedroom in the house. The OF said all he did was splash some water on his face in the milk house, grab a class of milk from a can in the cooler, and he was at work.

“What is traffic?” he asked.

Green thumbs prevail

The OFs continued their garden talk, and they are still speaking about how well their gardens are doing. One OG said his tomato plants were like trees; another raved about his celery.

Those OFs that “can” better purchase some more jars. This scribe thought they call it canning, when actually it is jarring. This scribe does not know any OF that cans anything.

Weighty topic

The OFs talked about the solar panels that are being placed on the roofs of homes, and wonder what those panels do to the roof. What about the added weight, and then add the snow that collects on the collector.

The OFs have seen people sweeping the snow off the panels so it does adhere to them.

How about the expansion and contraction of the fasteners that hold the panels in place?  Are they going to create holes for water to get in under the shingles, or even leak and rot the roof from underneath?

What about the space between the panel and the roof?  Won’t that be damp most of the time and generate mold?

“Yeah,” one OF said, “wouldn’t that space be an ideal area for birds to build nests, or for other insects like wasps or ants that find it a great place to hang out?  What happens to the warranty on the shingles if a leak happens — who is responsible?”

An OF surmised many of these questions must be covered on the contract when anyone has one of these collectors installed.

“I’m sure,” the OF continued, “we are not the only ones to think of these problems that may occur.”

Those OFs who gathered at the Hilltown Café (and it is called that because it is a neat little restaurant nestled in the village of Rensselaerville, which is located among the hills of the    Helderbergs) were:  Frank Pauli, John Rossmann, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Harold GUEST, Alvin Latham, Bob Snyder, Karl Remmers, Art Frament, Jay Taylor, Joe Loubier, Bob Benac, Herb Sawotka, Roger Chapman, Dave Williams (with his son Bill), Miner Stevens, Jim Heiser, Glenn Patterson, Chuck Aelesio, Otis Lawyer, Mark Traver, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Bill Krause, Ted Willsey, Bob Lassome, Joe Ketzeko, Roger Fairchild, Bob Donnelly, Bill Rice, Henry Whipple, Rich Donnelly, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.    

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A few days of summer so far, and on Tuesday, July 21, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Home Front Café in Altamont.

Tuesday morning, the OFs had the honor to break in a new waitress (new at least to the OMOTM) under fire. When the early birds arrived, the waitress was pretty as a picture; however, midway through taking care of all these OFs, her hair was soon disheveled and the poor girl looked harried.

She probably was thinking, “What have I gotten myself into?” Though harried, she kept her composure throughout. Good job. After the OFs clear out, it is time for the mirror and a re-do.

The OMOTM are not hicks

The Helderberg Hilltowns are not the biggest towns in the world but that does not mean the city people can come up and stomp all over us, and it is not all city people, but enough to generate a stereotype.

Conversely, there are enough of the people from the hills that don’t understand the rules of the cities and earn the stereotype of “hicks from the hills.” The city folk are stereotyped as the “bullies and know-it-alls from the city.”

When, in fact, neither stereotype is true. We are defending the OMOTM from falling into the stereotypical category of being from the hills. Many OFs are from the hills, but the OFs are definitely not hicks.

Constant care required

An OF inquired of the OFs from the Berne area about the bridge repair in that village. They all agreed it was necessary and has to be done, along with repairing the road through the village.

The OFs were of the opinion that the bridge should be done by late August, and the road is to be repaired to the county line. The OFs who are familiar with construction said, while under construction, there are inconveniences, but people have to work around this while the construction is going on.

If there weren’t any maintenance on our highways and byways, they would become so dangerous that no one would use that particular stretch of road that is falling apart, and, if they did, they would be taking their life in their own hands. The same thing holds true with buildings as small as a tent and up to the size of the largest skyscraper — all of them require constant care.

The OFs from the Berne area said that the state has gone one step beyond because on the signs stating that the bridge is out and detours are in place, there is a notice that the “Berne Store Is Open.”  It is rare for the state to do something like this to facilitate one business.

The Berne OFs said the state sends travelers on basically state roads so their directions are sometimes quite convoluted.  Case in point is heading east on Route 443. The state, the OFs think, is required to use state highways.

In this case the state takes the traveler on Route 1 (Switzkill Road) to Cole Hill Road and back down to Route 443. This is a hike. The “locals” find Irish Hill to Cole Hill, to Route 443 much shorter.

Getting to events going on in Berne is not that much of a hassle using the local connections. If coming into town, particularly east on Route 443, just keep going until you get to where the event is; for instance, if it is at the school or even a garage sale.

Coming from the  west on Route 443, it is necessary to head north on Route 156 at the bridge to Rock Road and loop around to Route 443 and go east back into town.  This is about a four-mile trip from the bridge, and a three-mile trip cutting over Rock Road if approaching Berne going south on Route 156 from Knox.

There!  The OFs hope this helps.

Inventions to come

The OFs were wishing someone would develop a grass for lawns that grows to the height of about 3 inches and no taller. It also would have to be inexpensive, impervious to weeds, and survive during hot, dry spells.

Those who think everything that can be invented has been invented are off the mark. The OFs believe that the kids today have a whole field of inventions to come up with that the OFs haven’t even thought about, and the grass is one of them, only the OFs have thought of that one. 

The OFs included in this part of the conversation the trip to Pluto, and what other plans are in the works. One OF mentioned that the trip to Pluto was done with technology that is nine years old.

Look how far we have come in those nine years. What a time to be six years old — space travel is within their grasp. Beam me up, Scotty!

Those OFs who made it to the breakfast at the Home Front and some brought their space suits, were: Roger Chapman, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Miner Stevens, Bill Lichlater, Dave Williams, Bill Bartholomew, John Rossmann, Frank Pauli, Harold Grippen, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Jim Heiser, Chuck Aleseio, Otis Lawyer, Jay Taylor, Roger Fairchild, Bob Benac (with his brother, Joe Ketzeko), Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Roger Shafer (with his son Michael, and grandkids),  Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Bob Lassome, Ted Willsey, Henry Whipple, Bill Rice, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, Joe Loubier, and me.

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Tuesday, July 7, was almost a summer morning when the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg. It is fun to watch the OFs pile into the restaurant of the week.

For once, this scribe was early enough to see most of the OFs arrive; when the OFs entered the diner, they were greeted by name with the typical, rhetorical comments along with the, “Good Mornings,” and the “Heys.” Faces light up with the well wishes of the morning.

The OFs who garden were in full bloom Tuesday morning — the basic conversation was on how well their gardens are doing. One topic, though, was a little different and that was how the gardeners are now keeping the deer from using their gardens as smorgasbords.

The new way (and the gardeners claim this works) is special lights. One gardener mentioned that his lights are continually changing colors, and another gardener said his lights were flashing lights set at the height that the average deer’s eyes would be.

This noiseless and no-chemical new gardening gizmo sounds like an effective and harmless way to control the problem. Now all the OF gardeners have to do is discourage the rabbits, mice, voles, and moles.

Beef beefs

The OFs segued from gardens and pesticides to organically grown products, especially beef. The OFs said this (organic beef) is very hard to do unless whoever is growing the beef makes their own grain from their own corn, wheat, and other grains that are also organically grown.

One OF said, “Go ahead and eat the chemicals.  How else are we going to supply food for the world without bumper crops? Eating the chemicals will develop a strain of people resistant to the chemical and become stronger because of it. We can’t be afraid of progress.”

“The people of the world are growing exponentially,” another OF said, “And therefore food has to keep pace. More people, less land, means the world is going to have to go up, not spread out. Organic is not going to cut it. Right now, organic is only for the higher income people because it does cost more.”

Boy, there are arguments on both sides!   

Hot potato

The OFs discussed (and to some it is their home away from home) the new location of the Schoharie County jail. All the OFs can agree with the locals that the location currently under discussion gives no consideration to those who will live in the proximity of the jail, and, as one OF said, it is not just a few, but this particular location will affect many homes and people.

There is much vacant land in Schoharie that is out of the floodplain, and there is no rule that says the jail has to be in town or anywhere near it, just someplace in the county. This is a political hot potato according to the OFs, and that potato just came out of the oven.

One OF ventured money and politics will win out over common sense and the will of the people — it always does.

Stable staffers

The OFs noticed that, at most of the restaurants the OFs visit, the staff remains the same year after year. Either the owners are good to work for, or the pay is good. A few of the restaurants do seem to have a rapid turnover, so the OFs think there is a hitch in the git-along at the establishments with the quick turnovers.

The OFs who made it to the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg and ate their sausage, bacon, home fries, and eggs with no concern about being organic, were: Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Robie Osterman, Dave Williams, Bill Bartholomew, Chuck Aelesio, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Jack Norray, Joe Loubier, Bob Lassome, Ted Willsey, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Art Frament, Bob Benac, Joe Ketzeo, Roger Fairchild, Herb Sawotka, Duncan Bellinger, Elwood Vanderbilt, Gil Zabel, Harold Grippen, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, and me.

BIG CROWD ON JUNE 30

On Tuesday, June 30, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the “Your Way Café” in Schoharie with 42 OFs at the breakfast.  It was one of the largest groups of OFs to date.                          

When at church or at a meeting at the Lodge, or Legion, the chatter of friends greeting each other as they gather for the meeting is what it is like at the breakfast. There is one exception, though; no one has to shut up because church is going to start, or the meeting is going to get underway.

The OFs can chatter about this or that until each group decides they have had enough, their bellies are full, and it is time for them to go. There are a few OFs who hang around until it is time for lunch. No one is hollered at, chastised, or criticized; they all have had their say, and everybody is caught up, and they are ready for the day.

Now take 42 OFs chattering away with many of then requiring hearing aids but not wearing them, and it becomes a lot of fun with a lot of laughs because many think they hear what is going on but only get half of it and then they pretend they got it all.

No pity party

Anyone who wants to become encouraged about their physical condition or the problems they are having health-wise should come and watch the OFs enter the restaurants and then try and listen in on their conversation.

Yeah, many are with canes and have their problems, but the OMOTM are not a group of pity partiers. One OF came in chipper and ready to talk and, when entering the restaurant, just mentioned, “Oh, I had a heart attack last week, and was in the hospital, for something else and didn’t even notice that I had one.”

The OFs have many credos — one of which is: If you are lame but can move, get up and get out.

Like on June 30, the OFs talked about the two fellows who escaped from the prison in Dannemora. The OFs are glad that both were not shot.

With at least one able to talk, there will be many holes filled in about how they made their escape and who helped and who didn’t. One OF mentioned that, with this type of information, the book and the movie will be much better.

Another OF said, if the movie is made with a high quality director and actors, he would go to see it, especially if it is shot on location like the movie “Iron Weed.” Many of the OFs have been in that part of the North Country and in the small towns up where it is really upstate.

The OFs were hunting, fishing, snowmobiling, climbing the peaks, bac packing, and especially canoeing the lakes and streams. These are big draws to the North Country. One OF mentioned there are some great places to eat in that part of the state also — nothing fancy, just real food, OMOTM food.

When junk becomes collectible

The OFs who go to flea markets often go not for the fleas but to see how much the junk, i.e., collectibles, they have in their barns is now worth. Some of the OFs go to auctions and antique stores for the same reason.

Much of what the OFs purchased to use years ago is now in antique shops. From lamps, to dishes, to picks and shovels, just about any toy and appliance they bought and kept 60 to 65 years ago is showing up in these places.

One OF said he has seen some of the stuff he has in his shed that he bought for one or two bucks is now worth one- or two-hundred bucks if in good shape.

We have mentioned before that, what some consider junk, someone else may consider collectibles. More than one OF comes home with more items from going to the transfer station (i.e. dump) than what he took from home.

One OF came home with a lawn mower that a guy was throwing away and this OF happened to be there and he asked the owner what was the matter with the mower, since it looked brand new.

The owner said, “Nothing is wrong but it mows too high and won’t go any lower.”

The OF looked at it and saw that the mower deck was as high up as it would go. The OF put it on the trailer and brought it home from the “transfer station” along with some other items he picked up there.  He adjusted the mower down, pulled the rope and away it went.

Hmmmm. What you can find at the dump — er –—transfer station, is all a matter of timing.        

Those OFs who attended the breakfast at the Your Way Café in Schoharie and are each thankful that the wife has not put him in an antique store with a for-sale sign on his forehead, were: Miner Stevens, Roger Chapman, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Bill Bartholomew, David Williams, Glenn Patterson, Chuck Aelesio, Otis Lawyer, Mark Traver, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Karl Remmers, Dick Ogsbury, Bob Snyder, Alvin Latham, Jim Heiser, Roger Shafer, Duncan Bellinger, Steve Kelly, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Art Frament, Bob Benac, Herb Sawotka,  Joe Ketzko, Gerry Chartier, Don Wood, Warren Willsey, Mike Willsey, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Henry Whipple, Ted Willsey, Bob Lassome, Bill Krause, Gerry Irwin, Elwood Vanderbilt, Gil Zabel, Harold Grippen, and me.

On Tuesday, June 23, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Country Café in Schoharie. The days are now getting shorter and many of the OFs have not really cleaned up from last winter, and supposedly summer is just getting is getting started.

The OFs think it is a lot more fun knowing each day is a day the sun is around a little longer than thinking each day the sun hides a little earlier.

Some of the OFs say it is because we are in the Northeast and right now we are the cool spot in the United States. A few OFs who have friends and relatives around the country are getting reports that it is hot: Florida, 103 degrees; Arizona, 110 degrees.

They can have it, a couple of OFs said, I will take my few days of 20 below, and the occasional blizzard rather than all that heat. So much for the weekly weather discussion.

The OFs gather around the table each Tuesday; on occasion the topic is food. Why not?

Tuesday morning, it was on veal and how some people enjoy that meat, while others consider the source of that meat and don’t understand how it is possible to eat meat of a calf. German Wiener Schnitzel is from the same meat, a calf.

Some thought that just knowing what it was those OFs are eating almost makes other OFs consider becoming a vegetarian. None went as far as a vegan.

Even those who thought eating veal was disgusting still enjoy a nice juicy steak. Then one OF brought up what is the big deal; in some countries, they eat cats and dogs.

Driving in the dark

The OFs brought up what they did when they were “teenagers” again. (This topic that its head out of the din on numerous occasions and it is these discussions that make most of the OFs wonder why they are still here.) This time, the tales were how the OFs drove on moonlit nights with their lights out.

The OFs like to couple no-headlight trips with how fast they could go in the dark and not hit anything. To the recollection of this scribe and the OFs, none of the OFs did hit anything.

The favorite places for these runs was the flats between Middleburgh and Schoharie; the other was the flats between Central Bridge and Sloansville. Just farm boys out having a little fun.

Farm boys of the 1940s and ’50s had lots of practice doing this on the farm, and it started at a real early age, like 10 or 11 years old, bringing in the last load of hay with an old Fordson tractor and that machine did not have lights. The YFs were only doing the same thing they did quite often just by working the farm only a little faster and, instead of the field road, the highway.

Actually, tractors had electric headlights before cars, and the tractors had radios before cars, too.

What if the power goes out?

The OFs regularly bring up the question: What will happen if there is a major power interruption and the power is off for many days? Those in the country could manage but what about all the people in the large cities?

The OFs say many city folks don’t know how to change a light bulb, and have no idea where water comes from; some think it miraculously flows from the tap. The question would be, if there were some kind of holocaust and this was not going to be just a short-time event, what do these people do?

Food, sanitation, water, medical services, transportation, the OFs wonder if there is any type of survival plan in effect to handle the situation if it ever came about. Like the OFs say: Just wondering.

Bumpkins rule

Even though, in the country, the OFs don’t make a ton of money, and quite often the work is hard and the people in the cities with their noses in the air have a tendency to look down on those who live above Route 84 as country bumpkins, the OFs say they don’t mind.

The OFs would rather be country bumpkins, than city slickers. As one OF said: It is the city slickers who want to take our guns away, and make all the rules that shut the farmers down.

One OF suggested that they are going the wrong way with guns. He thinks it should be a law everyone has to carry a gun, and it does not have to be concealed.

That way, if a robber or mugger tries anything, he should know the victim can shoot back.  Another OF said, if they are able to eliminate all guns, and even the police could not carry a weapon, the wackos would still find a way to commit mayhem.

Many people do not realize how easy it is to make a gun and a projectile, or Molotov cocktails, or pipe bombs. A complete wacko could charge into a public place with a machete.

How are you going to stop the attacker if no one has a weapon of some sort? The world has gone crazy, one OF said, and the wackos are winning. 

Those OFs who attended the breakfast at the Country Café in Schoharie and were eating regular food, like eggs and bacon, or pancakes, or French toast, and letting the strange stuff remain in the country of origin, were: Miner Stevens, Dave Williams, George Washburn, Bill Bartholomew, Chuck Aelesio, Glenn Patterson, Harold Guest, Roger Chapman, Robie Osterman, Mark Traver, Otis Lawyer, Frank Pauli, Jim Heiser, Steve Kelly, Roger Shafer, Ken Parks, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Herb Sawobota, Bob Benac, Art Frament, Bob Lassome, Ted Willsey, Duncan Bellinger, Mike Willsey (who turned 89 on June 24, making him the oldest OF at the breakfast), Gerry Chartier, Harold Grippen, Elwood Vanderbilt, and me.      

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Tuesday, June 12, The Old Men of the Mountain met with a classmate of some of the OMOTM for breakfast.  This classmate is Loretta of Mrs. K’s restaurant.  We met with her for breakfast and Loretta is still waiting on these old goats.

It is about time she took a break, but the lady still insists this is what she wants to do. This is her retirement. That was the restaurant of the day for the OFs.

When many of the OFs were younger (and then again not so young), square dancing started at an early age among the farmers of the group, and continued until it became too difficult to raise the arms and keep up. Square dancing, the OFs learned later on, is a good form of exercise; if the OFs knew then that it was exercise, maybe they would not have been so anxious to go dancing.

Some of the OFs still have their square-dance clothes taking up space in the closets, while others unloaded them after they realized they would not be physically able to handle the “sport.”

As the OFs continued with their dancing, they began to realize it started to become quite a fashion show with the ladies. Then, without the OFs knowing it, they became part of the show with matching outfits.

One OF mentioned they found themselves dancing at least three nights a week and maybe more, and some other OFs joined the chorus with a couple saying they traveled all over, dancing on square-dance retreats.  At these retreats, it was dancing morning, noon, and night.

One OF said it must have been fun or we would not have done it. The OFs were wondering how many of the clubs that were around when the OFs were into square dancing are still active.

When plows were horse-drawn

For some reason the OFs started talking about farming with horses again.  It seems to this scribe that we just covered this topic, but what the OFs were talking about is the size of the equipment today and the large farms with the GPS systems on the tractors. These systems actually guide the tractor in making straight rows of whatever is being planted, or harvested like planting large acres of wheat and then harvesting that wheat.

One OF repeated an oft-used phrase by the OFs that we have lived in the best of times. To some of the OFs, that is debatable. Naturally this led to horses and most of the OFs who farmed with horses said how they buddied up with these animals.

They asked the rhetorical question, “How do you buddy up with a tractor?”

One OF said he didn’t really buddy up to his tractors but he did have his favorites, and he did cuss at some of these tractors when they refused to start, or when he would snap his thumb when he hit a woodchuck hole.

The other OFs said they would talk to the horses as they leathered them up for the day, or took the harness off at night. With the tractor, all you had to do was turn the key on or off and the OF was ready to roll.

Gone was the pleasant smell of the horse, and the conversations back and forth with the animal, that was replaced by a nauseating whirr, and clanking of an engine, and the smell of gasoline, and ozone. No comparison.

Cinematic jailbreak

The OF discussed the topic of local and national news and that was the escapees from the Clinton Correctional Facility in Dannamora. Along with everyone else, the OFs had opinions on where these characters could be.

The thoughts of the OFs ranged from hiding in the woods, to being in Vermont, or Canada, or even Mexico by now. One OF even ventured that the smart thing to do would be to double back and hide in the prison until everything cools down.  One of them could shave, the other grow a well maintained beard, and, because they are so average looking, they could dress up casually and walk out when the timing was right.

Some of the OFs said they know this is going to be a movie; it has all the makings. The planning, the love affair, the execution, the manhunt with the end still to be written.

The OFs said that, if these guys weren’t such bad people and their crimes weren’t so hideous, it would almost be possible to root for them but, because of what they did, the OFs want these guys rounded up in a hurry and placed in a prison where the light does not shine.

If they had committed an innocuous crime that did not include violence and knocked off some casino where their business is robbing people anyway, the OFs would be cheering them on, but not these guys.

Those OFs who made it to Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh, and glad they are not part of the group hunting for the escapees, were: Miner Stevens, John Rossmann, Roger Shafer, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Roger Chapman, Harold Guest, Frank Pauli, Dave Williams, Bill Bartholomew, Chuck Aleseio, Don Wood, Jack Norray, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Art Frament, Bob Benac, Bill Krause, Jay Taylor, Herb Swabota, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Bob Lassome, Ted Willsey, Carl Walls, Duncan Bellinger, Gerry Chartier, Mike Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Harold Grippen, Elwood Vanderbilt, and me.

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