Hilltowns Senior News for Thursday, May 18, 2017
How far will we go to avoid work? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the (patented) Egg Stractor.
This little beauty stands about eight inches tall, and consists of a sort of concertina on top of a genuine plastic platform with a hole in the middle. You take a cold hard-boiled egg, then tap the small end several times on the “piercer” attached to the base.
Check to be sure that you have pierced through the interior “skin” of the egg. (If all I’ve done is pierce a tiny hole in the small end, how on earth will I be able to tell whether an interior membrane has been punctured?)
Next, you crack the large end of the egg (not the small end) on the table a couple of times (the instructions say, “Don’t be timid!”). Now place the egg, small end upward, in the Egg Stractor.
Put the concertina on top of the platform. Cross both hands over the top of the device. Push down quickly and firmly, and voila! the egg pops out the bottom of the device. If it doesn’t, repeat the action, being sure to re-align the egg in the upright position.
I’m all in favor of innovation and time-saving, but wouldn’t it be easier to just roll the egg on a counter top and peel it?
This is not the only shortcut on the market. How about the automatic dog-washer? This is a coin-op compartment into which you insert your dog, and a process resembling a car wash begins. Wait just a little while, and Bowser is all fresh and sparkly.
They don’t say whether you can get wax or blow-drying as extras. Honest, this was invented in France, and costs about $20 to $45 per wash, depending on the size of your dog. There is a window in the front so you can watch the process, although I’m not sure I could stand to.
The Chill-O-Matic ad says it will cool your can of soda in 60 seconds. It probably will, but you have to add ice, use two AA batteries, and a special chiller box. So, to cool my drink I’ll still need ice, and I guess I’m just not in that much of a hurry.
The (new!) “Salad-O-Matic” consists of a bowl and a half-moon cutter like your grandmother used for pie crust. The “Samurai Knife” has a circular-saw type blade with a hand guard, but they never tell you how to get the tomato skins out of the handle part after you use it.
The extremely popular “Swiffer” series of mops may really be great, but I still don’t see how they beat my old dust and sponge mop, other than needing to buy and replace all those little pads.
In the transportation department, you can now get an electric skateboard with posture control to keep you from falling off, and nightlights for safety. One of the four models has brakes. (Maybe I am getting older...)
The ultimate, however, is in the O’Reilly Auto Parts online catalog. They have a Flux Capacitor that will take you back in time. This is evidently the same device used in the movie “Back to the Future.”
There is only one model, and it’s for a stainless-steel DeLorean car (there’s a nice one in Hemmings Motor News for $78,900). You know, looking back over my past, that might actually be worth it.
Coming up
May is Clean Car Month, Food Allergy Action Month, National Egg Month, and National Salad Month. Next week is National New Friends, Old Friends Week. Memorial Day weekend is also National Polka Weekend, Mudbug Madness Days, and Old-Time Player Piano Weekend. May 21st is American Red Cross Founder's Day. Canadian Immigrants Day and Harvey Milk Day are the 22nd
National Taffy Day and World Turtle Day are the 23rd. The 24th is EMSC (Emergency Medical Services) Day, and International Tiara Day. The Cookie Monster's Birthday is the 25th. The 26th is National Paper Airplane Day, and World Lindy Hop Day. Saturday the 27th is Cellophane Tape Day, International Heritage Breeds Day, and the beginning of Ramadan.
The Wednesday shopping bus (to Walmart, Whole Foods at Colonie Center, and who knows where else) will be May 31 and June 14. Call CDTA at 437-5161 two days in advance to schedule your ride.
The Hilltown Seniors had a great meeting last Saturday. Katherine Loetterle was our chosen Tulip Queen, and Madeline Bradt our Mothers’ Day honoree.
The free exercise class is every Tuesday at 11:30 a.m. at the Berne Senior Center. Each class lasts about 20 minutes, and is conducted by Mary Jo McKeon. The exercises are easy and low-impact, and help to improve balance and reduce stress. The next classes are scheduled for May 23 and May 30.
A number of post-lunch activities are scheduled at the senior center for May. On Tuesday, May 16, we will be painting ladybug rocks. Tuesday, May 30 is a class on decorating vases and making flowers.
The Hilltown Seniors Anniversary Dinner will be held on June 4 at the Briar Creek Golf Course in Duanesburg. Choices are sirloin steak $12, chicken parmigiana $9, or baked haddock $8. salad, sides, and dessert are included. Call Shirley Slingerland at 797-3467 to make a reservation.
Hilltown Seniors and others are invited to join a Schoharie trip to the Cornell Botanic Gardens on Wednesday, June 7. The bus will leave the Schoharie Park & Ride at 7a.m. A stop for lunch on your own will be made at the Moosewood Restaurant. Cost is $50; call Betty Karlau at 295-7781 for reservations.
The next excursion will be a Lake George Lunch Cruise on July 11. Cost is $50 for members, and $60 for non-members. Shirley Slingerland is handling reservations; call her at 797-3467.
The South Westerlo Congregational Christian Church makes lunch on the first and third Thursdays every month. The church is located at 282 County Route 405. First Thursday is most likely pizza; third Thursday is usually a hot meal. Call Pastor Will Balta at 966-5094 for more information.
Need some legal advice? Appointments with attorneys from the Legal Aid Society of Northeastern New York can be scheduled at the Knox Town Hall by calling Pat Lightbody at 872-9400.
Menu
Next week’s menu for Helderberg Senior Services will be:
— Monday, May 22, American goulash, romaine salad with tomato, cucumber, carrots, and dressing, wheat bread, applesauce cake and milk;
— Tuesday, May 23, chicken cacciatore (tomatoes and peppers), broccoli, rice, wheat bread, pears, and milk; and
— Friday, May 26, potato crunch fish, peas, mashed sweet potatoes, rye bread, ambrosia, and milk.
Remember, there will be no lunch on Monday, Memorial Day, May 29.
Doors open at 11 a.m. and lunch is served promptly at noon. We also have transportation to and from lunch! Just ask Linda Hodges when you call with your reservation.
Does your Inventors group, Jane Austen fan club, or Zebu breeders consortium need an easy place to meet? Why not meet at the Senior Center? Come have lunch, and then get together with your friends! There’s plenty of space, and the center is open for all of us. We already have games, dominoes, and cards after lunch on Mondays and Tuesdays, so join us.
Please call Linda Hodges 24 hours in advance to 872-0940 to reserve lunch, or email her at: , or sign up when you come in. Tell us how many are coming, your name, and your telephone number. If you’d just like to come and help out, call Linda or send an email to , and put “volunteer” in the subject line. Lunches are provided by Helderberg Senior Services, the Albany County Department of Aging, and Senior Services of Albany. The town of Berne Community and Senior Services Center is located at 1360 Helderberg Trail (Route 443) in Berne.