Hilltowns Senior News for Saturday, December 10, 2016
Honestly, I don’t hate holiday letters in and of themselves. What I can’t stand is their “humble bragging,” designed to make the rest of us poor mortals feel like total schleps and idiots.
I strongly suspect that this is done on purpose, with a thin veneer of apparent politeness, rather like saying, “Oh my dear, your hair looks so nice that no one would ever know it’s a wig.”
You know the letters I mean. They go something like: “We were so pleased when Mary got that scholarship to the Sorbonne; of course she was already fluent in French thanks to Mrs. Trudeau’s tutoring her when she’s not on diplomatic missions. Jack has been nominated for another Nobel, but we really feel that the committee should give someone else a chance. We’ve enrolled the baby in the Philadelphia school, and, even though she’s only 10 months, she’s already beginning to do algebra.
“We had some trouble with the Jag back in April, and there was simply nowhere to get it fixed in Fiji; I told Jack that shipping it over for just three weeks was a bad idea. We had to rent a Bentley and driver to do any sightseeing at all. I must run now, because the Senator and his dear wife, Muffy, are coming for dinner, and he is so fussy about his caviar; I have to remind the caterer not to add any chopped onion.”
In my world, it looks more like: “John is teaching Zachary how to downshift; that will make it much easier for him to take those hills now that the brakes on the truck are starting to go. We ran into Harry the other day; he was in ’Nam with John, and says that now that the shelters are more familiar with PTSD, he hardly has any trouble at all when the flashbacks hit.
“Jan will be out of Women’s Detention in time for Christmas, and has been corresponding with this lovely gentleman who sells penny stocks. They will be meeting in person for the first time when she comes home. The big dinner is a lot of work, but since Ralphie managed to get that deer (he says it’s so much easier to get one at night if you put out the right bait), there will be plenty for all. My little bout with typhoid has left me a bit dragged out, but I’m sure I’ll be better soon, and everyone so looks forward to my Ambrosia.”
I never write holiday letters. My closest friends get a phone call every couple of years. I start out by feeling guilty that I haven’t kept in touch, but then what would I talk about when I do get in contact? My last trip to SuperMart? The cat throwing up on the rug again? My success in talking my way out of a traffic ticket by pretending to be a sweet little old lady? (We won’t discuss which part of that could be true.)
So, to all my friends and acquaintances, I really do wish you a wonderful holiday season, and the best of everything in the new year. Just don’t expect to hear from me.
Coming up
December is Universal Human Rights Month. The coming week is Christmas Bird Count Week, and Halcyon Days on the 14th - 28th (Always seven days before and seven days after the Winter Solstice). International Mountain Day and the birthday of UNICEF are on the 11th. Gingerbread House Day is the 12th, as is Poinsettia Day.
The 14th is Monkey Day and Yoga Day. Bill of Rights Day and Cat Herders Day are the 15th. The 16th brings Barbie and Barney Backlash Day, National Chocolate-covered Anything Day, and National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day. The week ends with Wright Brothers Day on the 17th.
The senior shopping bus’s next trips are scheduled for Dec. 14 and Dec. 28. Call CDTA at 437-5161 two days in advance to arrange for pickup.
The bus trip to Cooperstown is coming up on Saturday, Dec. 17, but you can still get on board if you hurry. We will see a production of “A Christmas Carol” at the Farmers Museum. The bus leaves at 10:30 a.m. Lunch will be at Mel’s 22 restaurant (buy your own), and then on to the performance at 2 p.m. Cost is $12.50 per person. Call Karen Schimmer at 872-2544 to reserve a seat.
Menu
The Lunch Bunch Holiday Party will be Monday, Dec. 19. There will be cookies to decorate, a tree, and a guessing game with prizes.
— Monday, Dec. 12, sweet and sour chicken, Asian vegetables, rice, wheat bread, pineapple chunks, and milk;
— Tuesday, Dec. 13, beef stroganoff, Brussels sprouts, egg noodles, wheat bread, glazed pear with vanilla ice cream, and milk; and
— Friday, Dec. 16, potato crunch fish, baked sweet potatoes and apples, pineapple juice, rice pilaf, wheat bread, lemon cake, and milk.
Doors open at 11 a.m., and lunch is served promptly at noon. We also have transportation to and from lunch. Just tell Linda Hodges when you call with your reservation
Does your book club, Mah Jongg group, or quilting circle need an easy place to meet? Why not meet at the senior center? Come have lunch with us, and then get together with your friends. There’s plenty of space, and the center is open for all of us. We already have games, dominoes, and cards after lunch on Mondays and Tuesdays, so join us.
Please call Linda Hodges 24 hours in advance to 872-0940 to reserve lunch, or email her at: , or sign up when you come in. Tell us how many are coming, your name, and your telephone number. If you’d just like to come and help out, give Mary Moller a call at 861-6253, or email her at , and put “volunteer” in the subject line.
Lunches are provided by Helderberg Senior Services, the Albany County Department of Aging, and Senior Services of Albany. The Town of Berne Community and Senior Services Center is located at 1360 Helderberg Trail (Route 443) in Berne.