Hilltowns Senior News for Thursday, January 5, 2017
Being sick makes me stupid. Now that flu season is here in full force, accompanied by the other horsemen of headache, sniffles, and fever, we all have time to reflect upon these seasonal gifts.
When I was a kid, my mother had a special box of toys and games that were only for “sick days.” The intent was to keep me amused instead of whining; a distraction. It worked really well.
I looked forward to being sick, as long as I wasn’t throwing up. As a matter of fact, this probably led Mom to the test of whether I had a fever, used to determine if I was “really” sick. To this day, if I’m feeling crappy, I’m never sure whether I’m “really” sick, or just sick of working. I don’t trust my own judgement, about 90 percent of the time, because I suspect myself of malingering.
As a result, I have developed what I call the television system of illness calculation. If I can watch a PBS documentary on the life of some obscure 18th Century VIP, I’m probably not very sick. The intellectual energy and concentration required is just as great (if not greater) than the energy required to balance the checkbook or calculate something in the office.
If I can’t handle PBS, but “Law and Order” or “CSI” still appeals, I’m somewhat sick. If all I can stand are reruns of “Bewitched” or “Happy Days,” I should call the doctor for an appointment. If even cartoons, or any TV at all is too much, I should probably be in the hospital.
This system is used in conjunction with the aforementioned thermometer-based criteria but, as I get older, that seems to be less reliable; my temperature is often below 98.6, and they never gave me any rules for that.
Of course, even being in the hospital has its redeeming features. Outside of the disease load carried in every breath you inhale, the service is pretty good. There is practically no hotel on Earth that will send someone in to fluff your pillows or give you a sponge bath.
The food is variable, and never has enough salt, but somebody else cooks it and brings it right to your bed, and you don’t have to dress for dinner. Usually, insurance even pays for most of it, so it can be cheaper than the Ritz-Carlton.
In a way, I don’t understand why people are so anxious to leave. The fact that I can sit up, or drag myself down a hallway with an IV bag on a pole, has very little to do with my ability to climb the stairs to the bathroom, or cook an entire meal. I remember one time when I was immensely grateful to find that potato chips would stay in my stomach, because that took care of the food issue.
If television doesn’t work for you as a standard, feel free to substitute gluing versus driving framing nails by hand, or playing Chopsticks versus Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.
In any case, I wish you a healthy start to the new year, or at least someone sympathetic (who can cook) to take pity on you and fluff your pillows.
Coming up
January is Bath Safety Month, Be Kind to Food Servers Month, California Dried Plum Digestive Month , International Quality of Life Month, and National Volunteer Blood Donor Month . The coming week is Elvis' Birthday Celebration Week, National Folic Acid Awareness Week, Universal Letter Writing Week, and Cuckoo Dancing Week. The 8th is Argyle Day, National English Toffee Day, and Asarah B'Tevet. The 9th is Law Enforcement Appreciation Day, and National Cassoulet Day.
League of Nations Day and National Cut Your Energy Costs Day are on the 10th, and the 11th is Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day. National Hot Tea Day is the 12th; followed by Blame Someone Else Day, Public Radio Broadcasting Day, and Rubber Duckie Day on the 13th. The 14th is Eagle Day, and Dress Up Your Pet Day.
The senior shopping bus will wend its way to Walmart and Whole Foods on Jan. 11 and 25. Call CDTA at 437-5161 two days in advance to arrange for pickup.
You can also get free transportation to and from lunch. Just tell Linda Hodges when you call with your reservation.
The Hilltown Seniors monthly meeting will be Jan. 14 at 10:30 a.m. at the Berne Senior Center. Remember to bring your own place setting for the potluck lunch.
Does your Pinochle gang, Scrabble fans, or quilting circle need an easy place to get together? Why not meet at the senior center? Come have lunch with us, and then have fun with your friends. There’s plenty of space, and the center is open for all of us. We already have games, dominoes, and cards after lunch on Mondays and Tuesdays, so join us.
Menu
Doors open at 11 a.m. at the Berne Senior and Community Center, and lunch is served promptly at noon.
— Monday, Jan. 9, baked ziti, Italian blend vegetables, Italian bread, chocolate pudding, and milk;
— Tuesday, Jan. 10, baked fish with herb sauce, stewed tomatoes, cranberry juice, rice, rye bread, applesauce cake, and milk; and
— Friday, Jan. 13, cheeseburger with Swiss cheese, seasoned oven roasted potatoes, Brussels sprouts, wheat hamburger bun, oatmeal cookie, pears, and milk.
Please call Linda Hodges 24 hours in advance to 872-0940 to reserve lunch, or email her at: , or sign up when you come in. Tell us how many are coming, your name, and your telephone number. If you’d just like to come and help out, give Mary Moller a call at (418) 861-6253, or email her at , and put “volunteer” in the subject line. The senior and community center is located at 1360 Helderberg Trail in Berne.