To the Editor:

In his column, Thinking About Things (The Altamont Enterprise Oct. 11, 2018), Frank L. Palmeri wrote about makeshift public memorials, saying that they don’t belong. “Though the intention is honorable, the practice of making memorials in public places just doesn’t sit right with me. We already have cemeteries.” He concedes that we all grieve in different ways “but when your grief has to cause poor commuting working stiffs to feel sad twice a day, maybe there’s a better way to grieve.”

Actually, there may not be a better way to grieve. A roadside memorial commemorates a site where a person died suddenly and unexpectedly, away from home. Candles, flowers, pictures, and personal messages are typically left where someone has died in tragic circumstances. Family and friends feel a connection to the last place on Earth their loved one was alive.

Bereavement counselors say going back to the scene of a tragedy can be a healthy part of the grieving process. Visiting the site can help mourners come to terms with a tragic loss. The more senseless the event, the more need to comprehend it.

Makeshift memorials can even be left by those who never met the person who died. The media allow the entire country to share in the grief resulting from a tragedy and an expression of sorrow from strangers is not uncommon.

Apart from their personal significance, roadside memorials like “ghost” bicycles also serve as a reminder that someone who was loved died at that spot, and warn drivers to slow down.

I realize Mr. Palmeri is a humorist but some things are not to be trifled with. When he next rides his motorbike along his favorite road, Route 30, he ought not travel south lest he come to the intersection with Route 30A where a tragic event occurred at the Apple Barrel Country Store & Café in Schoharie on Oct. 6, 2018.

And a community was forever changed on what otherwise would have been a perfect fall day in the country.

A makeshift memorial has been created by sympathetic strangers at the site where 20 people died in a deadly limousine crash. The memorial sign reads:

“Our thoughts and prayers to the 20 beautiful lives lost on 10/6/2018. Even though we did not know personally any of those who lost their lives this day our hearts are still heavy. We wanted to show those of you who are all trying to get through this time that our thoughts are with you with a cross for each one lost.  Please feel free to write on a cross for your loved ones and may you find the strength to get through this time of sorrow. Our deepest thoughts and regards to all. From John and Anita.”

And the mourners keep on coming. They are there at seven o’clock when I drive by in the morning. They stand there in the rain. They are there after dark.

The owners of the Apple Barrel are making plans to create a permanent memorial at the crash site and have posted on their facebook:

“We — the Loden Family, Apple Barrel staff, First Responders and the community — responded with love and compassion. In order for us all to begin to recover we must find a way to move forward without forgetting. With that in mind we have decided to create a memorial as a way for all of us to express our sorrow and remember. The Reflections Memorial Foundation is being established as a 501-C-3 non- profit organization to create a permanent memorial site.”

I did not know personally any of the people who died but find the makeshift memorial a way to counter despair and suffering with meaning.  

Rosemary Christoff Dolan

Schoharie