To the Editor:

Since January 2020, the Berne Town Board has been maniacally obsessed, continuously tinkering with the planning board. The town board members attempted to fire Emily Vincent and install a convicted felon into the vacated seat as chairperson of the planning board.

They recently “discovered” that the town allegedly failed to file a local law establishing the planning board — although it has been fully functional since 1974.

New local laws have been proposed. All this concentrated activity, perforce, begs the question: What’s the agenda? What is it the town board is trying to accomplish?

Until now, the public has been kept in the dark as to the true purpose behind the town board’s Machiavellian maneuvering.Finally, that secret agenda has been revealed!

A chicken in every pot!

At the July 8, 2020 town board meeting, a small agenda item was slipped in — heretofore never mentioned. The proposal was to amend the town’s zoning laws to allow the raising of chickens in all districts in town.

Every household everywhere in town will now be allowed to develop chicken coops. Soon, it’s possible that we will be awash in chicken wings, scrambled eggs, pin feathers, and horny insomniac roosters.

Of course, the town’s comprehensive plan was never mentioned, nor was the planning board or the conservation board given the courtesy of reviewing this proposal — as they are required to be by law.

But I digress — we all know that it is unAmerican not to love chicken wings. The regular order of local government cannot stand in the way of this stunning new initiative — Good Lord, we’ve waited six long months for the true agenda of the town board to be revealed.

Live with it, citizens — gotta love those eggs.

Lawrence Zimmerman

East Berne

Editor’s note: Lawrence Zimmerman is a member of the Berne Planning Board. 

No law was passed to allow a rezoning on July 8. According to Councilman Joel Willsey, the town board discussed the idea of allowing chickens in all town districts, which originated from the town’s Code Enforcement Officer, Chance Townsend, who broached the topic informally at the town board’s June 23 meeting.