To the Editor:
The Guilderland nail mystery is kind of awesome.

There I said it. Is it such a bad thing to say though? In a slight way it’s true.

Guilderland is a town where not much happens that pierces the monotonous day to day. But when I heard that there was a mystery in Guilderland my spirits perked up.

We haven’t had something this exciting since the hen thief of 1921, where a bandit in Altamont stole a farmer’s chickens; this was reported by The Altamont Enterprise back then. I would mention the Chen massacre but if you’ve talked to anyone in our town they’ll tell you they think it was the Chinese Mafia.

But this is different; there’s no murder involved or assault, rather a serious but mischievous offender. Whoever this is has a motive, are they doing it out of anger? Or is it the more likely outcome of a teenage kid who thinks this is funny. Whichever it is, it’s taken Facebook by storm.

Someone is dumping sharp nails all across Guilderland streets, particularly on parts of Route 156. The Albany County Sheriff’s Department hasn’t been unable to catch the offender and the public is increasingly getting antsy; they are afraid their tires will be a victim to the menace I’ve dubbed “the Nailer of Guilderland.”

Locals are angry and outraged, rightfully so. To run over nails is a terrible thing and can even cause you to crash. However the fact that this 1980s-esque local mystery has resurfaced and brought the town together to even contemplate forming watch bands on Route 156 is very lindy and reminds me of those old mysteries of the past. Towns used to come together in the past to solve these kinds of things.

Some might say this piece is glorifying and could encourage the nailer to strike again but this is something that newspapers have been doing for ages, and in much more serious cases. Does anyone remember the Zodiac killer? When he would send his taunting letters to the public and police to the San Francisco Chronicle, the newspaper published it for the general public’s knowledge, even if it’s what the Zodiac wanted.

Whoever is doing this will likely be caught, but there’s also a good chance they’ll never be caught again, spuriously attacking different parts of the town and evading the bewildered sheriff and deputies. The state police will likely get involved if this isn’t taken care of.

As someone who enjoys reading about unsolved mysteries, this kind of has an awesome feel to it, I have to say it. The Guilderland nailer lives on — for now.
 

Alex Foppoli

Guilderland