Marriage is a wonderful way to travel through life

To the Editor:

While grandson Michael was visiting us several weeks ago, he told me he has been asked to officiate, be the “minister,” at a friend’s wedding this fall. He’s excited at the prospect and is going to get legally licensed.

Mike told me he plans to talk to both the bride and groom for their thoughts as he sets up a ceremony. It’s to be a large wedding so, of course, he wants to do it well.

This made me think of marriage as a commitment, a lifestyle. At 87, I figure I can jot down thoughts on the subject. I think going through life alone, with no partner is tough, and scientists’ say it’s life shortening.

Let’s face it, men and women are different, not meant to be alike, but to be complementary to each other. Don’t expect to think alike!

Marriage should be an equal partnership between two best friends who can talk to each other, who can discuss plans and options for mutual decision — city or suburban or country living; house, condo, or apartment; money, banking, savings, investments; job chances and demands; vacation; friends and in-laws; social organizations and hobbies; children.

There’s no one design, not everything needs to be shared — a golf addict’s spouse can have other interests as long as neither commits overwhelming time. That’s not fair.

Often both partners have jobs. It seems right that there be a fair joint banking account. Savings for retirement should be joint, wills should leave a remaining partner as well financed as possible. The remaining spouse will continue to need housing, food, medical care, perhaps even senior housing — all expensive these days.

Marriage expects that kind of commitment between partners; love, tenderness, and attention to a partner’s needs and desires all are essential to marriage. These make a partner feel valued.

Privacy and personal space should be honored but team effort is the way to go; consideration, understanding, empathy!

Marriage is a wonderful way to travel through life.

It is ever-comforting to share the good, the bad, the ordinary with another soul, a caring partner. Have fun! Enjoy

Carol Du Brin

Fort Peirce, Florida

Editor’s note: Carol Du Brin is a long-time Altamont resident, and former “Enterprise” columnist, now living in Florida.

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