— John R. Williams

Roger Chapman restoring a large Farmall 560 is captured in this painting by John R. Williams.

— John R. Williams

Portrait of the artist on an Allis Chalmers. John R. Williams recalls, “We had a Farmall ‘H’ on the farm and a cub. Our next-door neighbor had Allis Chalmers. When I would go and help him, that is what we used...Another OMOTM, Carl Slater, had his Farmall wide-front M if front of his old barns and I did a painting of that one, too. Jim Gage’s on his M is another painting.”

On May 2,  the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Your Way Café in Schoharie.

You can’t miss the Your Way Café. It is on the left-hand side of “Main Street” going into the village past the Old Stone Fort and Fox Creek end of the village, and it is painted bright yellow.

This is to answer all the questions the OFs get like, “Where did you guys have breakfast today?” when bumping into friends later on Tuesday or the next day. Almost all the inquirers then say, “Where is that?” and the OFs have to explain with the addition of, “You should try it; it is really good.”  The OFs don’t go to bad restaurants.

As one of the OFs was leaving the restaurant with a couple of other OFs, a patron going into the restaurant singled out an OF he knew but he did not know the other two OFs, and they didn’t know him. His greeting was “Hey, [name], when did they throw you out of jail? How the h---are ya?” The other OFs said they had to remember that one.

Most all the OFs wear jeans. One or two continue to wear the bib-type overall (this is not in the least unusual) because jeans are the pants of choice for both men and women these days. The OFs mentioned how, when they were young (and that was just a little time ago), a good pair of jeans cost five to nine bucks.

“Today,” one OF said, “they are selling artificially mud-colored jeans for $425.”

All the OFs said they have three or four pairs of clean dirty jeans anyone can have for $20. They are all broken in and won’t turn your legs blue the first time you wear them, and the zippers work.

“Holy cow,” one OF said, “I can buy a brand-new lawnmower for $425 and look how much work goes into making one of those.” How much effort does it take to sew in four pockets, six or eight belt loops, a zipper, and one button with a button hole?

Makes no sense to me; next thing you know they will be adding “real barn smell that will not wash out.”  Can you picture the ads for these?”

Tending lawns

The OFs mentioned how many times they have mowed their lawns so far. As of May 2, the tales were from two times to one OF who mentioned he has had to mow his lawn four times already.

Another OF listened as all the OFs were discussing the time spent on their lawns and he just kept turning his head to each OF as they spoke. Finally, this OF said he has mowed part of his lawn once and had to do that because some of the lawn had a few high spots in it. This OF said his lawn was 12-percent grass, 30-percent weeds, 18-percent rocks, 20-percent roots, and 20-percent moss and dirt. The OF said he mows about three acres of this concoction, and from a distance, “Hey, it looks pretty good.”

One OF said he wouldn’t mow his lawn at all. He is a closet naturalist and whatever grows, grows. However, the wife has other ideas, so he mows the lawn and keeps it looking good; he also has no plantings close to the house.

This OF said tall grass and shrubs are where the bugs hang out that get into your house. If you have cluster flies, mow your lawn and they will be gone, and ants and other bugs live on the shrubs and peonies and they get in the house by themselves or your cat and dog brings them in.

One OF said that he has a back room that is seldom used at his place and the occasional mouse has gotten in there so he keeps setting traps. At one time, there was a mouse in the trap and, when he removed the dead rodent from the trap, a deer tick ran out from under the mouse and down the trap. The OF said he had gloves on and was able to kill the tick, but the OF said that animals not only bring in routine pests but they can bring in some nasty ones also.

Tractor talk

The OFs somehow started talking about supply and demand. The OFs know of this little formula for living very well by many having been working for themselves — mostly as farmers.

The OFs think that a lot of what we purchase, especially if it is something everyone uses, or needs, industry builds in a planned obsolescence so whatever it is will break down or run out in a predetermined time frame. This means the dumb thing won’t work and the OF has to go get a new one, and that generates a perpetual demand. The OFs think the one exception to that rule happened by accident.

That is the Farmall tractor! Those things ran forever, and many that were made in the forties are still running and working today. That tractor was so simple and dependable the farmer could fix it with baling wire, friction tape, and a large pair of channel locks. (There was no duct tape then.)

When the 1940s began, International Harvester’s Farmall was the most popular tractor brand in the United States. But during the decade its market share was challenged.  Just before the war, IH had to respond to the introduction of the inexpensive Allis-Chalmers Model "B." IH had already been experimenting with small-tractor designs.

So, as the decade began, it quickly introduced the second generation of Farmalls — the famous “Letter Series” tractors. (Thanks Google). What happened is the Farmall (as it once was) is no longer made.

Those Old Men of the Mountain that made it to the Your Way Café, and, yes, they know the way; it is in Schoharie as they say, and not too hard to find, unless of course you are blind.  The color is yellow bright, so the OFs can find it at night, and the OFs that found it on Tuesday were: Robie Osterman, Bill Lichliter, Ray Frank, Harold Guest, Roger Shafer, Roger Chapman, George Washburn, Chuck Aelesio, John Rossmann, Miner Stevens, Dave Williams, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Otis Lawyer, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Lou Schenck, Sonny Mercer, Don Wood, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Ted Willsey, Mike Willsey, Warren Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Duncan Bellinger, Elwood Vanderbilt, Ray Kennedy, Harold Grippen, and me.

Location:

On Tuesday, April 25, the Old Men of the Mountain met at Mrs. K’s restaurant in Middleburgh.

Mrs. K’s is just down the street, towards the creek, from Middleburgh Central School. When the little darlings are going to school, particularly in the morning, traffic is held up so the buses can leave and enter the school discharge area.

In the street are two traffic wardens holding up traffic in either direction so this can be done. The lines of traffic that are held up both ways make the OFs wonder if there are any cars left in the county. Tuesday morning when some of the OFs left the restaurant, the cars on the street went from the school, to the bridge (and over it) that crosses the Schoharie creek in Middleburgh.

To continue with the early morning of the 25th, the weather was great, but about two days prior to the 25th the OFs talked about scraping ice and frost off their windshields. No wonder so many people have the sniffles, the OFs say; their old bodies don’t handle this 70 degrees one day, and 30 degrees the next, then back to 70, then down to 40 the next day very well.

One OF said that, with this weather, spring has sprung (and that is what it is doing, acting like a spring and bouncing all over the place) and he was digging large holes for transplanting shrubs. One of the shrubs the OF mentioned was the Beauty Bush.

The other OFs around our end of the table could not picture what would be called a Beauty Bush and they had no idea what it was. The OF said that, for some reason, when he was digging the hole to have a good earth ball on the plant, he found the ground (where that shrub was planted) was very dry.

When he lifted the shrub out of the ground, all the earth fell off the earth ball that was supposed to cling to the plant and the OF was left with just a collection of roots. The OF planted it anyway and hopes it will take hold.

There is such a thing as a Beauty Bush and a characteristic of the bush is its perfume-like fragrance when in flower. According to Google, the Latin name (in parenthesis) for the shrub is Kolkwitzia Amabillis. The OFs may have seen this bush but had no idea what it was called; again, it was those at this one section of the table.

Spicey question

Does pepper help in the aging process? Many of the OFs douse everything in pepper — well, almost everything. To see some of the OFs’ plates at breakfast, it makes other OFs wonder if their colons are made of cast iron. No matter what they order from the kitchen, the first thing these OFs do is make it black with pepper.

We have yet to see these OFs order oatmeal but, if they did, they would probably cover it black with pepper. With all the pepper in the air used by many pepper shakers being shaken, no one sneezes.

There is one OF who uses so much pepper that the other OFs around him either grab it first so they can also have some, or hide it so he can’t get to it before their meals come out. If this OF can’t find the pepper shaker, he goes and snitches one from another table.

Difficulties of death

The OFs are close to the end of having to get up in the morning so a discussion was had on how to provide for the kids when the time comes for the morning of all mornings. The discussion was not on stuff, but on all the legal hassle, paperwork, burial arrangements, and all the entanglements that can ensue.

The conversation wound up nowhere because even though some of the OFs have been through it and think they know what to do and how to set it up there always seems to be problems, and all of it costs money with nothing to show for it.

There must be some way, the OFs think, that, upon their passing through the pearly gates, their kids are not bogged down in legal entanglements and they realize their parents really did their best to try to avoid problems and thought they did all the right things.

That is one thing the OMOTM does not have in the group — an attorney that is crowding the end of light to give us advice on what he has done, and what the OMOTM should do.

No woe

There was also another discussion that was somewhat like the aforementioned, and this, again, is events that are life-changing and how that can turn a jovial person into an old crank. But as a member of the OFs there is much support to prevent this from happening because so many are in the same boat.

Operations that can go wrong, and operations that are just are operations. One OF mentioned he went from working out in the gym, to doing four- to five-mile walks, to doing nothing in one day. The OF said, “Thank goodness they have stuff other than rat poison to thin the blood now.”

Some of the OFs knew exactly what he was talking about. So sitting across from people who truly understand the OFs’ predicament is a big help. Much better than sitting home and going “woe is me.”

Going to the OFs and doing your “woe is me” here, you still won’t get any sympathy because you will be out-woed.  (Does anyone think that should be “woe am I”?)

Those OFs who made it to Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh and who beat the morning small-town rush hour were: Miner Stevens, Roger Shafer, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Robie Osterman, John Rossmann, Roger Chapman, Otis Lawyer, David Williams, Bill Lichliter, Harold Guest, George Washburn, Jim Heiser, Chuck Aelesio, Ray Frank, Don Wood, Mace Porter, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Herb Bahrmann, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Wayne Gaul, Ted Feurer, Ted Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Elwood Vanderbilt, Rich Vanderbilt, Jess Vadney, Mike Willsey, Warren Willsey, Harold Grippen, and me.

Location:

This week, the Old Men of the Mountain managed to meet at the Country Café on Main Street in Schoharie on Tuesday, April 18.

At this breakfast, we were taken care of by a new waitress who apparently was not familiar with the OMOTM. When the first eight or 10 of the OFs arrived at the Country Café and had seated themselves, the waitress came, introduced herself, and asked what we wanted to drink.

She had a carafe of regular coffee in her hand, then asked who wanted coffee; the answer from the OFs was a typical OF answer. Out of eight or 10 OFs, some wanted regular, some wanted decaf, one wanted ice water, and one wanted OJ. The waitress was about to find out there is nothing simple when dealing with old people.  

After taking care of the early risers’ coffee requests, the waitress asked a normal chit-chat question. “Just what do the Old Men of the Mountain do?” she asked, pointing to the OMOTM caps on some of the OFs.

In unison, like singing a song, the OFs replied, “Nothing; we do absolutely nothing.”

This took the new waitress back a little — here is a group of OFs that get together and do nothing. The long and short answer is: Yep — you got it; nothing is our thing; “we do nothing” is our motto.

However, we do have a 22-page set of bylaws to keep everything civil and on track so doing something does not get in the way of our nothingness.

Springing into spring

Many of the OFs are actively getting ready for spring. This includes making sure all the small engines that are used during the spring, summer, and fall are in good working order and will start when they should. When all these little engines are put together, an individual OF will have quite a few.

There are the lawnmowers, the weed whackers, the chain saws, the leaf blowers, the rototillers, the tractors, the debris pumps, a generator, and who knows what else that has some little engine attached to it — plus, in the winter time, it is the snow blower.

As mentioned in previous columns, we have a few OFs who repair small engines; one in particular performs small-engine repair as a business. This OF is now putting people on a list that is two weeks out because he is so busy.

This OF must be really good at his job because his hands look like a surgeon’s hands. They are clean and not all nicked up with cuts and bruises

Tools of the trade

This led the OFs into talking about tools of the trade and how OFs who do a lot of woodworking, metalwork,  hobby and craft work, or work in the woods, have much better tools, and the right tool instead of the OF who does it only once or twice a year with a hammer and a crowbar.

The crowbar will be three times larger than required, or the OF will need one three times larger than the one he is using. The same goes for the hammer, or maybe the saw with teeth that are as smooth as the back of the saw.

The OF said that, having the right tool for the job, and having that tool in good condition, is key to making any job fun and easy. One OF said it cuts down on a lot of cussing and swearing, nicks  and bruises, trips to the doctors’ and hospital, and finally wasted time and a good reason for divorce.  

Shenanigans

The OFs talked a little bit about what they did to make a living when they were younger. If some of the shenanigans that went on at work were true, it is a wonder many of the OFs weren’t sacked.

Within this conversations were snippets of what may have precipitated the shenanigans. One was politics where one OF described an attempt to imitate a German accent on an employee (where he worked) opinion of politician’s work ethic even then as trick and swindle. This may or may not be true but seems to be a common trait today by some.

The other which brought agreement (and this scribe realizes this is in the paper) ,they didn’t trust the press then, and even less now.

One OF added, “I don’t know about you guys but I worked the farm; the hours were long, the work was hard; I was the boss and the hired hand. I didn’t pay any attention to either of them. If I had any free time, the wife and I would go to a farm auction or a square dance.  Life was simple and fun but at the time we did not know it.”

Head-scratching

This scribe does not know how many topics of conversation at the table get started or when they end, so this causes much head-scratching at the computer to figure out how to interpret some of the notes on this scribe’s little pocket pad. If the notes are truly in sequence, the OFs went from the topics above to Easter dinners and what to do with leftovers.

Food for thought

One OF described in much detail what was done with the leftovers at his place. This OF said after the meal they prepared the leftovers so they could be used for many meals later on.

They took the ham and cut all the meat off the ham and left the bone for making soup. They took the slices from the ham and prepared them for sandwiches. They took the meat close to the bone and cut it plus they used the ham sauce to be part of the ingredients for making macaroni and cheese.

If enough was left from that, they placed chunks in plastic bags for ham salad. The mashed potatoes were pre-prepared for making potato pancakes. The OF said in the morning they would cook up the potato pancakes, fry up some eggs and bacon, plop them on top of the pancakes and that is good eating!

One OF said, “It sounds like you had a meal with a 10- pound ham for only three or four people. At our place, after we pass out some paper plates for some to take home, there is not much food left over for leftovers.”

Maybe the OFs should sit down with the wife and write down some of their recipes, and special meal preparations, and  even include some of the OFs parent’s recipe collection and make their own OF’s cookbook.

That could be a collection of recipes going back to around 1885 plus, with the ages of the OFs, that would be a collection of recipes that would be doggone healthy, because we made it to be OFs!

Those OFs who made it to the Country Café in Schoharie because of the healthy eating of days gone by were: Miner Stevens, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Robie Osterman, Bill Lichliter, George Washburn, Dave Williams, Chuck Aelesio, Ray Frank, Otis Lawyer, Jim Heiser, Ted Feurer, Wayne Gaul, Rev. Jay Francis, Ted Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Lou Schenck, Gerry Irwin, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Herb Bahrmann, Elwood Vanderbilt, Jess Vadney, Harold Grippen, and me.

Location:

The next stop on the clock for the Old Men of the Mountain was Tuesday, April 11, at the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh.

This was a beautiful morning; a little after 6 a.m., most of the OMOTM noticed a beautiful sunrise starting in the east, and a full moon to the west, which was encased in a pastel yellow-orange glow, and was sharing in that sunrise. Then those OFs headed off to meet with other OFs for breakfast at the Middleburgh Diner and have a laugh or two — what a great way to start the day.

One of the OFs lives so close to Warners Lake that, when the OF gets up, his feet are in water. He told a story that took place about this time of year. The Canada geese are returning for their summer stay in the locale of the OF’s.

For many of these geese, it is not far from their winter gathering places. These geese now make their way to Cornwall, Cornwall-on-Hudson, Carmel, and Lake Carmel where they are really not welcome because they make a mess of just about everything.

One OF who made business calls in that area said, when pulling into a parking lot that was by a pond, he stepped out of the car and was surrounded by geese. The OF then would have to walk in a 10- to 12-foot circle of geese all the way to the door of the main office building that he was calling on.

Back to the OF with the geese at Warners Lake. This OF said the geese landed on the lake and overnight the lake froze with a skim of ice and most of the geese got out OK. However, one goose was trapped and could not get out no matter how hard it tried.

Another goose that was able to free itself watched the predicament of the goose flailing to get free. After a while, the goose that was free went over and started pecking at the ice around the trapped goose. Eventually, the goose that was pecking at the trapped goose was able to free it, and the trapped goose took off.

Then another OF picked up on the recounting of the Warners Lake event and  told how the Canada goose was responsible for our lakes, ponds, and waterways being populated with fish. This OF said that many years ago, thousands of Canada Geese landed on a very large pond that was loaded with fish. It was the beginning of winter and just like the Warners Lake situation there was an extreme drop in temperature during the night and all the geese were frozen in this large pond.

The OF said that, in the morning when the sun came up, the geese, one by one, tried to extricate themselves from the ice. This did not work and for some reason all the geese tried to free themselves at the same time.  Ultimately, the geese all took off in unison, taking the fish-laden ice with them.

The geese flew encased in ice, trying to find a place to set down and free themselves. As they flew over the lakes, ponds, and waterways, fish fell from the ice into these lakes, ponds, and waterways. These falling fish populated all the lakes, ponds, and waterways they fell into.

This OF said eventually the ice melted and all the geese were free and they separated and settled into many different bodies of water. The geese quest to free themselves from the ice took them over much of the surrounding landscape and they covered many square miles, dropping fish as they sought to fly free from the ice before they became exhausted and crashed to the ground.

The OF said, “You can thank the Canada goose for all the fish that are in our lakes, ponds, and waterways today.”

“Yeah,” one OF retorted, “I will remember that each time I have wiped the purple goose poop off the bottom of my boots.”

“My heart knows what the wild goose knows

And I must go where the wild goose goes.

Wild goose, brother goose, which is best

A wanderin’ foot or a heart at rest.”

Now there is an old song that will put our teenage grandchildren’s knickers in a knot.

Spring harbingers

There are many signs of spring like the red-winged blackbirds returning; the stink bugs beginning to show up; of course, the geese honking as they penetrate the sky; some of the early flowers poking their heads through the snow; and the peepers.

Most of the OFs heard the peepers for the first time Monday night. Some of the OFs thought these harbingers of spring were a little late this year.

“These little frogs are amazing,” one OF mused. “For the size of them, they make a lot of noise.”

The OF also said that, when you approach the marshy area where they are peeping, they all shut up at the same time like someone turned off a switch. Then, the OF said, he walks a certain distance away from them and they all start in again. The OF said he has placed a stick in the ground from when the peepers stop, and where the peeping starts again and looks for some kind of trip wire.

At night, when the peeping usually stops, there are generally a few frogs that did not get the message and they do a few little individual peeps and then it is quiet.

The OFs able to break away from the beauty of the sunrise/moonset at the same time and make it to the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh were: John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Marty Herzog, Roger Chapman, Bill Lichliter, David Williams, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Jim Heiser, Ken Parkes, Roger Shafer, Sonny Mercer, Ray Kennedy, Don Wood, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Herb Bahrmann, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Mike Willsey, Elwood Vanderbilt, Ted Willsey and chauffeur Denise Eardley, Harold Grippen, Gerry Chartier, and me.

Location:

When the fish head upstream to spawn, Salmon River in Pulaski, New York is lined with fishermen. As the Old Men ate breakfast beside a swollen creek, they reminisced over fishing expeditions — including at Pulaski.

Tuesday, April 4, the Old Men of the Mountain met at Kim’s West Wind Diner on Route 145 in Preston Hollow.

The OFs who took the long way around on the flats, made better time than the OFs who came over the mountain. There was quite an elevation fog that made the mountain trek much slower. Generally, over the mountain is a nice way to get to the diner because the views coming down the mountain from Rensselaerville are spectacular.

This question was asked by one OF: Why is Preston Hollow here? This scribe found little information, the population as of  the 2010 census was 366 souls, down from the 2000 census, which showed that the roads were trodden by only 748 human feet kicking up dust.

It seems that a fellow from Connecticut, Dr. Samuel Preston, settled here in 1789. Why? Beats us.

Then, four years later,(Dr. Sam must have lived like a hermit), in 1793, along came Henry Couchman who found the nearest mill was in Leeds by Catskill — that’s a hike from Preston Hollow — and the nearest apple tree was in Schoharie — again, another hike. The connection between the two points again beats the OFs,.

However, Henry did purchase a bushel of apples from the tree in Schoharie and brought them to Preston Hollow and started an orchard. This is about all you could do here because there are hills on both sides of the Catskill Creek at Preston Hollow; actually from Middleburgh to Catskill along Route 145 there is really very little flat land — the mountains are like a vertex of an isosceles triangle at the creek.

Fish tales

With the creek running pretty full in back of the diner, one of the topics at the table was fishing, and the opening day of fishing this year. Unfortunately, none of the OFs at my end of the table were out casting their lures in the water this year.

“At 27 degrees outside, I’m staying in,” one OF said and the others concurred. Leave it for the kids was the consensus of the older guys.

However, then they began talking fishing stories, mostly fishing the Salmon River around Pulaski, New York. One of the reasons for taking this trip, according to OFs, was that, not only was the fishing great, but it was an easy drive, and did not take too long.

One OF mentioned how slippery the rocks are on the banks of the river and it is a good idea to have spikes on your waders. This scribe is not a fisherman so he had no idea spikes came with waders. If this scribe were walking with spikes on slippery rocks, the first thing this scribe would do is fall in. Spikes on wet rocks did not seem to compute.

The OFs who fished the Salmon River did fall in at one time or another. One was carried downstream a few yards and did not drop his pole. Which comes first, drowning or saving your fishing pole?  In this case it looks like drowning wins out — save the pole.

One OF fell in and his waders filled with water so he was entirely soaked and the OF did not bring extra clothes. He said he was soaked from head to toe and froze the rest of the day. The lesson learned here was: Even if the OF was going fishing only for the day, it would be good to bring extra everything (in the way of clothes) just in case.

In Pulaski, the salmon fishermen are lined along both sides of the river for miles, and in the river there are islands. One OF said lots of fisherpeople go out to the islands to fish. However, when on an island and hearing a siren going off, it is not a fire, it is time to clear the islands because the water is going to rise.

When the siren does goes off and you don’t clear off the island, then the fishermen on that island can plan on spending the night there, and on some of the islands those who did not heed the warning will have to scurry to high ground. One OF said there you are on that island, in waders, no porta-johns and you are going to be there for the next 12 to 15 hours.

What becomes of the fish that are caught the OFs didn’t say. The OFs never mentioned bringing coolers to bring them home, or if the salmon were even any good. To hear their stories, even when they fall in or get soaked, it sounds like all the OFs that head to the Salmon River to fish have a lot of fun.

This scribe’s only contact with fishing was taking his kids fishing (years ago) and this scribe spent the rest of the day untangling lines and baiting hooks; in the winter, it was digging holes in the ice and setting up tip-ups, plus freezing, so never once has this scribe cast a line. However, the “kids” who are now adults in their fifties still fish. Hmmmmm.

The OFs who made it to Kim’s West Winds Diner in Preston Hollow and watched the rushing brown water of the Catskill Creek come very close to the back of the diner were: Bill Lichliter, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, John Rossmann, Richard Frank, Roger Chapman, Harold Guest, Chuck Aelesio, Don Wood, Ray Kennedy, Sonny Mercer, Karl Remmers, Bob Snyder, Otis Lawyer, Mark Traver, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Wayne Gaul, Ted Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Mike Willsey, Pastor Jay Francis, Elwood Vanderbilt, Gerry Chartier, Henry Whipple, Bill Rice, Harold Grippen, Mike Willsey, and me.

Location:

On Tuesday, March 28, (thank goodness this month is almost to the end) the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville.

The following OF report will be from notes that did not make previous reports because this scribe has one of the hardest colds he thinks he has ever had and so he did not make the breakfast.

One reason was because he had so much Coricidin in him that the drowsy bit was really working; the other reason was that he would not want any of the other OFs to catch it, for some of these old codgers it would do them in and the scribe would feel really bad about that because this scribe now hates to get dressed up.

Horning: A lost art

This scribe is going back to March 7, on a topic of buzz saws. One of the unusual uses of a large 36-inch buzz saw was at a horning. The OFs have conversed many times about what we used to do in the forties and fifties that was considered fun but would have the OFs arrested today.

When young couples got married in small country towns generally a horning was planned. This was not a secret to the young couple because they may have participated in a few hornings themselves. They also knew that when the horning was to happen was a closely guarded secret. The Pentagon could take lessons on how well the farmers handled this secret.

The young married couple would take part of their wedding money to prepare for this event. The OFs remember having a damaged buzz saw hung in the machinery shed on a farm just for this event. The night of the horning, the buzz saw was put to good use.

The saw was placed on a pry bar, or a length of heavy-duty pipe that was brought to the horning location. Two guys would hold up the saw and another guy would pound on it with a good size hammer. Big Ben would not ring through the night as loud as the buzz saw’s ring.  We have long and fond memories of these (now obsolete) gatherings.

Country noises

This next subject we discussed, and was found in our backlog of topics, is one not used from Jan. 31, and the note in the book is just noise. This scribe remembers what this was about but does not remember how the OFs came to talk about this.

The feeling that people say they are going out to the quiet of the country are in for a rude awakening, especially when the milking machines start running at four in the morning, and the milk truck makes its first stop around 5:30 or 6 a.m.

The country is not quiet. The noises are different — balers pounding, tractors running, blowers whining, belts slapping, fans whirring, and all kinds of other unexpected noise. Then there are the noises of the night. It is just like the city only different. There does come a time at night when the country becomes eerily quiet, and those not familiar with this sensation wake up wondering what has happened.

Musings on metrics

February 14th was a discussion on the metric system versus our fractional system. The OFs wonder why the whole world can’t be one or the other.

Why hasn’t the United States ever converted to the metric system? Short answer: It’s complicated.

One OF mentioned that Thomas Jefferson tried to convert us to this quite a few years back and it never took hold. When they attempted to have the United States go to the metric system, it ran into many problems.

The OFs were taught a smattering of metric at one time, but so little that it soon was forgotten about. Now there seems to be more metric labeling and equipment built overseas that incorporates some metric; however, just some of it is rubbing off on the OFs.

“Today,” one OF said, “if you are going to do any mechanical repairs, it is necessary to have two sets of tools: one metric, and one fractional.”

“Yeah,” another OF said, “when looking at a nut that I think is ¼ inch but half the time it turns out to be 6 mm.”

Another OF commented that he had put a bucket on a John Deere tractor he owned; the tractor was metric, and the bucket turned out to be Wentworth, which measured sizes in inches. What a mess that was. The OF said the bucket and attachment’s fasteners had to be taken out, holes re-drilled, and Helicoils (a metric coarse thread repair kit) were put in with fractional threads.

One OF said, when we ship overseas, we have to use the dang metric system but, when they ship goods over here, they use metric, and not our fractional system, which makes for a very unlevel playing field.

Yep, what they are doing is by osmosis so that eventually this country will go metric. Doctors talk metric, i.e., it is a 2-liter bottle, and speedometers now have both metric speed and fractional speed per hour.

“It will be a long time before it is complete — if ever,” one OF said. “Look at all the old tractors and hit-and-miss engine clubs that are around. Old cars and trucks that people keep running will still be fractional.”

Another OF said he would never get used to 34-26-34 being 91.44-56.04-91.44 cm., or they might just call it 92-57-92.  What a shame when they change that!

The Old Men of the Mountain who met at the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville, and this scribe has no idea how they got there but at least they did, were: Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Chuck Aelesio, Marty Herzog, Bill Lichliter, Otis Lawyer, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Ted Feurer, Herb Bahrmann, Wayne Gaul, Lou Schenck, Jim Rissacher, Mike Willsey, ( with guest Amy Willsey), Gerry Chartier, (with guest Winne Chartier), Elwood Vanderbilt, Richard Frank, Harold Grippen, and not me.

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Tuesday, March 21, was a much better Tuesday than March 14.  

On the 21st, the Old Men of the Mountain were able to make it to the Home Front Café in Altamont. The 14th was the first time the OMOTM did not make it to a restaurant since the OFs have been getting together like this.

It takes a full-blown blizzard to stop the OFs. This storm even stopped the United States Post Office at some ZIP codes. Hey, even some bars were closed! The OFs said this was labeled a blizzard and the wind attested to that, but it still can’t top the Blizzard of 1993 according to the OFs.

A few of the OFs can do small-engine repairs, as well as getting some rusty old heap of a bulldozer repaired and running, and we have mentioned before how many OFs are capable of restoring old tractors. These OFs (including one who does the small-engine repair as a business) say this weather brings out people purchasing snowblowers and generators, and then, as spring really takes over, they return them to where they bought them.

These OFs can’t quite understand this viewpoint. If people thought they needed this equipment while being pelted with snow, what makes them think they won’t need it in the not-too-distant future? Do they think it is not going to snow again?

After all, it is the Northeast and our particular area is where two valleys and two rivers meet at about 90 degrees. Even the weather itself does not know what to do when it meets the confluence of the Mohawk and Hudson rivers at the Cohoes/Waterford area.

With the hills from Little Nose (near the village of Sprakers) on down towards Schenectady following the Mohawk River basically east and west, and the Helderbergs with the hills of Rensselaer County running basically north and south, any good weather system stops and scratches its head at these points, pondering what to do.

The OFs think every home should have a snow-removal tool of some kind, including a young back to work it.

Ready to retire?

The OFs discussed when to retire and that discussion had many opinions. This debate broke down into a few basic steps such as finances, health, and what to do when someone retires.

These steps take pre-planning when you are young enough to do so. Many of the OFs did not do this because when they were YFs it was not emphasized as much as it is today.

One OF said, when we were YFs, it was thought we would be dead before we got the chance to retire. So far, the OFs have managed pretty well.

More important than money, in most cases, is what to do when the retirement time comes. The OFs mentioned volunteering or developing a hobby that can be done without too much physical effort. Join a group that has a similar interest for you, or find religion. The worst thing is to just sit and turn to rust.

An OF mentioned that his wife takes care of his activity department with a job list under a magnet on the refrigerator. This OF said she keeps on his case until these chores are done, but then she keeps adding new ones

The OF said that, as he completes one job or the other, he dutifully crosses it out and marks that job done. The OF said one day there were five or six jobs on the list, so he hustled and got them all done in one day but this time the OF did not cross off the jobs that were done.

In about three days, the OF said his wife got on his case to work on the to-do list and the OF said he would get after them. In about a week, his wife was still after him, and the OF said he had a week’s complete reprieve of not having to do any of the dumb things she came up with, and it proved to him she never checked if they were done anyway; she just noticed the jobs were crossed off so she just came up with new ones to add to the list.

This is like the Amish Friendship Bread; people just keeping passing around the starter and the one who receives the starter keeps adding to it and passes some starter to the next sucker — err, friend.

Wanted: Veterans for Hilltown parade

This column keeps reporting that many of the OFs are veterans, and this year the Kiwanis is attempting to have a good contingent of veterans who live in the Hilltowns of Berne, Knox, Westerlo, or Rensselaerville to be a part of the Hilltown Memorial Day Parade in the town of Berne.

The parade organizers would like to have all veterans (who are able) to participate so they are requesting any veterans in these towns to contact them at (518) 894-8589 and let them know who you are; if you prefer to march, prefer to ride, or are in a wheelchair; and if you need assistance getting in or out of a vehicle.

The Kiwanis guarantees there will be no snow. The Kiwanis will take care of you no matter how you get about.

Sour salespeople

The OFs talked about shopping and how most people who work in stores are pleasant and helpful, while others should find another line of work. These people are grumpy with some almost surly, like they are doing you a favor by being there to take care of you.

One OF attributed these woe-is-me characters to people just having a bad day. Another OF said that isn’t always the case here because every time he goes into a certain store and happens to have a certain person wait on him, the personality is the same.

Then one OF offered, “It may just be karma and you two do not connect; however, to the next person in line, this employee might be just as bubbly as the next one.”

This OF said he does not know how many places would keep a person who is really miserable all the time in a job where they have to deal with the public.

“Who knows?” another OF thought. “This particular person may be a relative and can’t get a job anywhere else.”

Another OF said he has a friend who isn’t happy unless he is miserable. The OFs don’t think there is a cure for that.

The OFs who were glad to get out and about and who made it to the Home Front Café in Altamont were: Roger Chapman, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Bill Lichliter, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Chuck Aelesio, Ray Frank, Marty Herzog, Russ Pokorny, Warren Willsey, Mace Porter, Lou Schenck, Ted Willsey, Wayne Gaul, Ted Feurer, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Otis Lawyer, Jim Rissacher, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Elwood Vanderbilt, Henry Whipple, Harold Grippen, and me.

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Tuesday, March 7, was a gray and dreary day, at least early in the morning — freezing rain, fog, and just plain rotten. The Old Men of the Mountain endured all this by traveling to Duanesburg for the comfort of the Duanesburg Diner to have breakfast.

For some reason, the weather spiked conversation about cutting ice from frozen ponds in the winter to be used in the summer. One OF mentioned that his family owned Warner Ice Co. and they cut ice from Warner Lake and stored it in large ice houses with sawdust to sell in the warmer months.

Some of the early OFs remember the ice house on the farm where they cut ice to use in the summer — especially for the milk cooler. Cutting the ice from ponds was hard work, and the ice just looked cold with the blue-green color of the fresh cut ice squares.

How times have changed.  Now our refrigerators dispense ice through their doors, or we just place a glass in the door of the refrigerator and cold water comes out.

The OFs discussed how many of them still have these ice-cutting saws stashed away someplace. If there ever happens to be a disaster that knocks out the power in the winter, some OFs still will be able to resort to the old ways and cut some ice.

However, if the problem happens in the summer, there will be lots of bad food out there. It was added that, with the increasing use of wind and solar power, the problem will be less likely that refrigeration or heat will shut down because many people will have their own source of power.

The storing of food, and the lifestyle on the Hill, means most of those on the Hill do have rather large stashes of food because they can’t run to the store every day and many have to shop for weeks in advance. Some of the OFs have extensive gardens and can or freeze this produce. The OFs put up jams and jellies, veggies, turkey, chicken, sauces, maple syrup, and some OFs even make their own brew.

Listening to these conversations on conservation, this scribe had a sudden thought:  Wouldn’t it be neat if in these large apartment complexes that rise many stories in the air would have on every fifth floor nothing but dirt, and each four floors could have their own community garden? Nah! This would never work, because those floors of dirt would not make enough money for the owners of the building.

Idling means less eating

The OFs continued to discuss food but this time it was how much less they eat as they get older. They all said they could not pack it away like they used to.

But one suggested that’s because they don’t do anything to work off all those calories the OFs used to suck in. The analogy used was an idling engine does not use as much fuel as one going 60 miles an hour and we are all in idle mode right now.

“Not me,” one OF said. “My mode is, ‘I am completely shut down.’ But  I still need my can of beans every now and then.”

Learning by observing

The OFs then talked a little bit about their educations and how they learned to do what it is that they do. The OFs said some of their knowledge came from schooling but a good part of it came from watching and learning.

One OF said his father did not talk much and was a very hard worker, at which most OFs chimed in that was the way with their dads also. The OFs felt that to be on the good side of dad was to learn how he did things and then the Young OF would do it the same way.

There were no how-to books thrown around, nor Google to run to, so the Young OF had to SOR (see, observe, and remember). That little phrase this scribe has on the bottom of his handout to the students in his art class, but it also applies to how to make an apple pie alongside Mom at the table, or how to weld two pieces of metal together alongside Dad in the garage.

Going to the dogs

As the OFs entered the diner in Duanesburg, they saw a new sign on the door. This sign caused some of the OFs to mill around outside, waiting for other OFs to show up.

The quandary here was the sign read, “No pets or animals allowed in diner except service dogs.” The OFs who were staying outside were considered animals and were waiting for an owner, which would be another OF, to bring them in as “service dogs.”

This attested to some of the OFs having a well-deserved reputation as being animals, although at their ages now the animal OFs are completely harmless. (It takes so little to amuse us).

The Old Men of the Mountain who made it through the freezing rain and fog to the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg were more than expected and they were: Miner Stevens, Roger Chapman, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Chuck Aelesio, Ray Frank, Roger Shafer, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Glenn Patterson, Jim Heiser, Mark Traver, Otis Lawyer, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Andy Tinning, Ted Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, and me.

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On Tuesday, the last day of February 2017, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Your Way Café in Schoharie. This scribe generally calls the restaurants a day ahead of when we are supposed to be there to warn them the OFs are coming.

Sometimes, when they ask how many will show up, this scribe takes a stab at it. When advising the Your Way Café this particular Tuesday morning, this scribe guessed 20 to 25 people would be there. Boy, did this scribe throw the Your Way Café a curve! Sorry, Your Way.

The OMOTM held the restaurant to its name (Your Way Café) and they ordered their bacon medium or burnt to a crisp, their eggs like rocks or just warm, and their sausage with which some have links, and some have patties. The guys are even fussy about their home fries, and, again, some wanted them with onions, some wanted them really crispy, while some wanted hash browns, and even a few wanted them with horseradish.

Some of the OFs watch what the waitress scribbles down and say it is a wonder the cook comes up with anything close to what they order. Yet most of the time the OFs get exactly what they order so there must be some kind of standard to eggs over easy; or crispy bacon; or the difference between light, medium, and dark toast.

The OFs stick to much of the bylaws — especially the ones about no politics, no religion, and no tattling on why one OF or the other is in the pokey — however, they did wander a little bit into politics with a few comments. These comments were not too controversial such as how tough it is for a red guy to be in a blue state, county, or city; conversely, it is tough for a blue guy to be in a red state, county, or city.  No one got bent out of shape over these observations.

Mainstays are vanishing

The OFs talked about how their shopping mainstays have either bit the dust and are no longer around, while some others are starting to show signs of joining the group. Sears and Roebuck, Montgomery Wards, Macy’s, Woolworths, Kresge (which became Kmart, then Kmart purchased Sears).

The OFs remember all these stores when they were places to shop, especially Wards and Sears for the farmer. Both sold tractors and tractor supplies; both sold chickens, and ducks; plus they were the places to go for tools, and tires — all good stuff and all made in the USA. Camping equipment; guns; hunting and fishing supplies, including boats, were all available at Sears and Wards. The customer could buy a violin, a motorcycle, or even a car, at the same place. Going shopping (for the OFs) is not fun anymore.

The OFs talked about the new Dollar Store distribution center that is being built in Amsterdam. A few OFs said they would believe it when the earth movers move in. Some of the OFs were wondering why the Dollar Store chose that particular site until they realized that there are train tracks to that section of town so the location began to make sense.

To add to this is the proximity of the Thruway — the exit will be almost like the I-88 exits for Walmart trucks and other haulers getting off the interstate and going through Central Bridge to get to the Walmart distribution center in Sharon Springs. The OFs were wondering why Walmart doesn’t sponsor a NASCAR Racecar as Dollar General did, or does. One OF suggested that Walmart is supposed to appeal to rednecks, so what better way than through NASCAR?

Lightning strikes

The OFs discussed the storm that rolled through in the early evening on Saturday, Feb. 25, and the church in Cobleskill that had lightning strike its tower from that short nasty storm. The OFs who live in that area said it lit up the whole town, and they could feel the thunder clap.

Some of the other OFs didn’t know if it was that exact strike or not but there was one rumble of thunder that seemed very low and shook everything. This clap was felt in Schoharie, Middleburgh, and up on the Hill in Berne and Knox.

The timing, according to the OFs anyway, did place the clap at about the same time as the strike on the church steeple in Cobleskill.

Ways of working

A dialogue that solidified what many conversations of the OFs have on some Tuesday mornings was on how people work, particularly the OFs.

Some OFs want to work alone; they don’t want any help. Some like company while they work and these OFs continue to work on whatever project the OF has underway.

Others like all the help they can get when they have a project going and when another OF shows up he had better have work gloves with him because the OF will put him (or them) to work.

Then there is the OF who likes people to help because most of the time these OFs think the OFs helping knows more about what is going on than he does. These are very good examples of whatever floats your boat; eventually the boat will get the OF to shore.

Also, there is the OF who knows what he is doing but, if another group of OFs comes to “help,” after they are gone, the OF goes and does a lot of it over because it didn’t pass muster.

Now comes (and the OMOTM don’t have any of these) a different group of people that would rather have anyone else do the work but them. These people are good pointer-outers of what has to be done but don’t ask them to do it.

Yep, many ways people, and not only the OFs, work.

The OFs filling up the Your Way Café in Schoharie on a very unusual winter’s day were: Miner Stevens, Harold Guest, Ray Frank, Chuck Aelesio, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Roger Schafer, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Dave Williams, Roger Chapman, Jim Heiser, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Marty Herzog, Sonny Mercer, Ted Feurer, Wayne Gaul, Don Wood, Ray Kennedy, Mike Willsey, Warren Willsey, Rev. Jay Francis, Ted Willsey, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.

 

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— Photo from John R. Williams

Four generations of Miner Steven’s family breakfasted with him and the other Old Men of the Mountain last Tuesday. From left, in back, are Debbie, daughter; Olivia, great granddaughter; Erika, granddaughter; and Miner, the dad. Peeking out from the right hand side of the photo is Brad, a grandson. Miner celebrated his 80th birthday last week.

On Feb. 21, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Country Café on Main Street in Schoharie.

While the early arrivers of the OMOTM gathered on the sidewalk outside the restaurant on this Tuesday morning in late February, they talked about what Schoharie was like in the forties, fifties, and sixties.

This conversation was carried inside and it was decided that the Country Café was the old Badgley & Wheeler’s soda fountain with booths and various sundries. Many seniors would walk to Badgley’s from the Schoharie School on the hill at lunchtime and eat junk food for lunch. Those were the days.

Reminiscing is fun, and the reality was fun because then there weren’t so many rules and regulations. The brains of the OFs were working overtime, trying to reconstruct the village in the 1950s and ’60s.

Like the OF’s conversations of a week or so ago about Gloversville and Johnstown, Schoharie, too, had stores, bars, a bowling alley, and a theater — all gone now and nothing there to replace them. One OF blamed Wal-Mart for much of the demise of the little shops, while others blamed the flood, but another OF said the demise of the village was before the flood.

An additional OF mentioned that, if politics would get out of the way, and someone with bucks would restore the Parrott House, the village would be a different place. We are now all OFs; some even miss the clutch and shifting lever, raw milk, and Schoharie County Jumble cookies that everyone’s mother and grandmother once made.

Part of the conversation was where the driver’s tests were given so the young farmers could obtain their driving license. Most of the OFs’ vehicles were of the clutch vintage, hand out the window for signaling turns, and maneuvers like that not even considered now.

The OFs remember having to drive up the hill by the theater, stop the car in the middle of the hill, and go forward by letting in the clutch and not rolling backwards. Many of the OFs who were raised on the farm had been driving since they were 9 or 10 years old and could back up a four-wheel wagonload of hay and still had to take the test over a couple of times.

One OF wondered what the new tests are like; an OF thought the driving part may be the same except for stopping on the hill and sticking your hand out the window for turns. However, some of the rules of the road may now be somewhat different.

Illicit activities elicit memories

The OFs remembered a few illicit activities that went on in the county when the OFs were YFs. One was cock fighting, and the other was the “stills in the hills.”

The smoke from an operating still could be seen from across the hill; this was not an easy thing to hide. If a casual passerby could see the smoke so could the law, but brew was legal so this stuff was made mostly for family and friends. None of the OFs could remember a bust on a still.

Occasionally the cock fights would be chased down but there were more fights than those caught. When they were caught, though, the law did get tough on those running the fights. The chickens were confiscated, and little was known about what became of those chickens.

Those Bantams were beautiful birds like something out of the rain forest. The OFs don’t hear of these two events going on now and haven’t in a long time.

Casino is for high rollers

A continuing conversation from a couple of weeks past was on the new Rivers Casino in Schenectady. The consensus of opinion was the casino in Schenectady is designed for the high rollers.

One OF said he had a small sandwich and a soda and it cost 17 bucks. The OF about fell over. To get in on a table game also requires a few dollars, one OF said.

This scribe checked the menus out on Google and has to agree that this is no place to stop in to get a cup of coffee. The restaurants around the place have nothing to worry about unless they see what the casino is charging and jack their prices up to meet them.

According to the OFs this is a Boston, New York City type of place, not a Schoharie, Amsterdam, Gloversville, Johnstown, Canajoharie, Ballston Spa, Pittsfield, Bennington type of place.

One OF said he thinks the casino is a good idea for Schenectady. That city may get some of the money from the high rollers who might come from the big cities in their boats to the casino on the river. This OF said, “Let the gamblers from the smaller towns go to the Turning Stones, or Foxwoods, but have the big bucks come here.”

There are two sides to everything.

The Old Men of the Mountain that found time to wander to the Country Café in Schoharie and fill the place up with their bodies and their chatter were: Bill Lichliter; Roger Chapman; George Washburn; Robie Osterman; Frank Ray; Chuck Aelesio; Dave Williams; Otis Lawyer; John Rossmann; Harold Guest; Mark Traver; Glenn Patterson; Jim Rissacher; Ted Feurer; Wayne Gaul; Lou Schenck; Mace Porter; Jack Norray; Bob Fink; Bob Benninger; Warren Willsey; Mike Willsey; Russ Pokorny; Elwood Vanderbilt; Richard Vanderbilt; Harold Grippen, Miner Steven who was accompanied by just a few of his kids and grandkids to make a table of four generations of Stevens, including Bradley McLaughlin (grandson), Erika Gibbons (granddaughter), Olivia Gibbons (great-granddaughter), Debbie McLaughlin (daughter); and me.  

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