If it weren’t for church on Sunday, and The Old Men of the Mountain on Tuesday, this scribe would not know what day of the week it was. So with that reckoning, this scribe knows it was Tuesday, Sept. 19, that The Old Men of the Mountain met at the Chuck Wagon Diner on Route 20 in Princetown.

It would seem to be that only the early arrivers had the opportunity to enjoy the nostalgic feeling with the smells of the early morning, just a slight breeze, and a thin veil of fog filling the air, but this same atmosphere was there even for the late arrivers. Time for the OFs to just stand outside of the diner and take it in. And many OFs did, not even knowing they were doing what they were doing.

Often this time of year takes the farmers of the OMOTM back to mornings like this and walking to the barn and then sliding the barn door back to catch the sounds of the cows as they stir. The stanchions were making their own noise as the cows stood up, and the barn cats were stretching out and jumping from the cows’ backs and scurrying to the turned-over old milk-can covers waiting for their first splash of warm milk.

Those were the days!

The OFs said you did not lock your doors, and people weren’t shooting people in the streets. Where and when did this type of culture come into our society?

One OF said we brought it on ourselves with the eye in the living room called a TV.   According to this OG’s opinion, that’s when this country went to Hell in a handbasket.

“Technology,” the OF said, “for all the good it does, it is also responsible in many ways for all the bad that is going on.”

Another OF thought that it doesn’t make sense to put all the blame in one pot. This scribe thought of the movie, “The Gods Must Be Crazy,” which showed trouble in a close, tight-knit society that basically had no problems until the introduction of a simple Coke bottle. This Coke bottle completely interrupted this society’s social structure. In this movie, there was so much tension, squabbles, and unhappiness the only thing to do was to get rid of the Coke bottle.

Messy geese

This is also the time of year when not only the OFs but many people notice the familiar “V”s of the Canada geese flying south, only many OFs say they don’t go that far south. One OF said they don’t go much further south than Poughkeepsie, or Red Hook, or Wappingers Falls.

Some of the OFs who are OF transplants and once were Long Islanders (although one started out in the hills of Schoharie) said the geese do go a little further down — like Long Island — and are a complete nuisance there.

Wherever these birds decide to camp, they make a mess. One OF said on a golf course on Long Island there is what is known as the “goose poop” trap. So many geese hang out in this particular part of the course that, if you are not a very good golfer and make a short drive off the tee and land short of the poop, you might take another shot over this untidiness.

On the other hand, if some golfers think they are good golfers and plan on shooting over the poop area, you had better be darn good because, if the ball lands in that goose dropping area, that golfer is deep trouble.

Why? Number one, the droppings look like golf balls and therefore it might take half an hour to find it. The other thing that is discouraging is that swinging through all that “stuff,” the club now has to be washed because that “stuff” sprays all over.

Many golfers, if they land in the goose poop trap, take the penalty of taking another whack at the ball, because the final insult is — your shoes are ruined.

Another Island OF said that particular golf course wasn’t the only place the geese have discovered, and he started naming parking lots, and beaches that those flying manure-spreaders made completely unusable. One OF mentioned one of these places brought in dogs to shoo the geese away, but that was only a temporary fix.

Another OF said social status makes no difference. This OF said he was at one of the classiest hotels in the country where the lobby was part museum-part hotel. The OF made it clear he was not staying at the hotel but he was just perusing the museum part.

The OF said there was a beautiful large pond and fountains in the back of the hotel and no one was there. The OF said he took one step outside and saw why. The walkways around the pond were purple with goose droppings; it was almost impossible to pick your way through the field of droppings to get to the venue in the back of the hotel.

Travel talk

As we have mentioned several times, many of the OFs are travelers. This time, the chit chat was about the Grand Canyon and how this scar on the Earth takes one’s breath away. Some said that it was one thing they would like to go back to and enjoy the wonder of these vistas from the scouring of the river below, which created all the colorful rock formations.

The OFs were not too enamored with the cities of Tucson, Mesa, or Phoenix, but Flagstaff was another story. For the temperature to get much over 80 degrees in Flagstaff is unusual; however, in the other three places, 100 degrees is a good starting point.

The OFs say that is too hot. But, as one put it, it is just like anyplace else. It may be possible to get used to weather conditions anywhere — some even like Alaska. Lots of people do like Arizona.

Those OFs who made it to the Chuck Wagon in Princetown, regardless of the weather, were: Dave Williams, Bill Bartholomew, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Marty Herzog, Pete Whitbeck, John Rossmann, Wayne Gaul, Ted Feurer, Jake Hundley, Harold Guest, Roger Shafer, Otis Lawyer, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Mike Willsey, Duane Wagonbaugh, Bob Lassome, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.

Location:

On Sept. 12, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg.

“We are finally having a decent stretch of weather,” some of the OMOTM said.

One OF commented, “Hey, we are at least entitled to two or three days of nice weather out of 365.  After what happens in other parts of the world and even in our own country, I will take the two or three days.”

He continued, “Others can have their sunshine. The other places have too many hurricanes, tornados, tsunamis, mosquitoes, spiders, snakes, cockroaches, beetles, and ants. I will take the clouds and the occasional blizzard.”

Models morph

The following question came up in our next discussion: When did cars morph into just one car?

he OFs say when they look at one model 2017 vehicle, they have seen them all. The cars now all look alike, especially the SUV, midsize, and sedans.

Even the pickup trucks are similar, particularly viewing them from the side. Some OFs picked 1970 or 1980 when the morphing started. The OFs were separated by 10 years.

The discussion led this scribe to the internet, and, if acting like a judge, this scribe would have to pick the seventies. Roughly in that time period, anyone worth his salt could tell a DeSoto from a Cadillac, or a Plymouth from a Chevy even from two miles away.

Today, to tell whether a certain vehicle is a RAV 4 or a CRV, or any other SUV, it is necessary to be right by the vehicle to read the emblem.

Morning remedies

We stopped the car talk to catch our breath and change subjects. To hear the remedies the OFs have for cutting down the aches and pains of getting up in the morning, the OFs should write a collective book on their solutions.

To one OF, it was make his way to the bathroom and take a good hot shower. To another, it was sit on the edge of the bed and wiggle his toes, then his feet, then swing his legs, then the OF would try to bend his back four or five times.

To still another, it was grab his cane and take a short walk down the hall. Yet to another, it was say, “Oh d---, another day,” then inch his way to the kitchen and nurse a cup of coffee, hoping the aches would go away — but they don’t!

A few of the OFs say, “Get the pills down, especially the Aleve,” and only then are they ready to face the day.

The conclusion is — none of this stuff works! These old “friends” — aches and pains — may fade a little but the OFs still have them for the rest of the day. However, when they are at the Tuesday breakfast, there is something about opening the restaurant door, and entering the restaurant.

That makes the following hour or so pain free. The aches and pains are finally gone!

Irma aftermath

Just like anybody in the Northeast, the OFs have friends or relatives in Florida, or they themselves have second homes in Florida. This brought out many conversations of concern for those who were involved one way or another with Hurricane Irma.

This scribe did not get into all the conversations, but the gist is that the outcome is all over the map; from nothing to slight damage to — well, we will have to find another place to rent.

The OFs know that all this is preliminary and it will take weeks just to sort things out and find out what, where, and when things will really be known. Just like Irene.

One OF said some streets in Florida look just like Schoharie did after Irene. Another OF noted the OFs have been talking about hurricanes ever since Irene came into our area and that was late August 2011.

Six years ago and this event is still in the back of the minds of many in the valley. The OFs mused about how many years the people of Florida will be remembering this hurricane.

One OF added, “Only until the next one. No big whoop for those guys — they go through it all the time.  We, on the other hand, might see something like Irene only every 100 years; now that makes it something to remember.”

This scribe does not know how the OFs knew this but the OFs said that they were under the impression that the owners of most shrimp boats stay with their boats. The boaters of the group said that is so they can control the lines as the water surges come and go.

The shrimpers are also used to rough seas, and most own their own boats. These guys are not going to abandon their means of making a living. So far, we have not heard of any of them losing their lives or boats yet.

One OF said he might watch a documentary (if one was made) on the people who do shrimp. How they live and handle adversity at sea and in hurricanes would be most interesting.

Those Old Men of the Mountain who made it to the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg and all made it in basically the same vehicle, except those who come by truck, were: Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Bill Lichliter, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Richard Frank, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Bob Benac, Art Frament, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Ted Feurer, Wayne Gaul, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Otis Lawyer, Lou Schenck, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Herb Bahrmann, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.

Location:

On Tuesday, Sept. 5, the school routine was already is in place in many institutions of learning.  

The Old Men of the Mountain met at the Your Way Café in Schoharie and had their frequent-eater card stamped. Just like frequent miles, there are rewards at the Your Way Cafe for having a card and getting it stamped.

Enough stamps and the bearer of the card is entitled to a free breakfast. It is a good thing some of the OFs eat at the Your Way Café during the week; otherwise, if the group showed up with cards stamped sufficiently to receive a free breakfast at the same time, poor Darcy would go broke.

The OFs were fired up Tuesday morning on the “bait and switch” ads in the paper, even with coupons. This scribe did not realize so many of the OFs encountered this practice and what they did about it.  

Two of the best tales were about a major chain that has been around a long time. It seems that one of the OFs saw a car battery advertised in the paper for a really good price and since he owned an old clunker, which he used mainly to run around and go to work with, he knew the old car was in need of a battery.

“Perfect,” he told himself. “The sale is tomorrow and I am going down early in the morning before work and get one.”

The OF showed up with the ad and asked the clerk for the battery on sale because there were none on the sales floor. The OF said the clerk asked him what kind of car he drove and the OF told him.

The clerk said that battery would not fit in his car so they couldn’t sell him one. The OF said he blew up because the clerk had no idea what the battery was being used for. The OF said he could be using the battery to operate running lights for crabbing on his boat; it was none of the clerk’s business what the battery was going to used for.

He then asked for the manager. The manager came and said he was sorry but that particular battery was all sold out.

The OF said he pointed out to the manager that he (the OF) was the first one in the store. He told the manager to look around — there was only the OF, the manager, and the clerk there.

Where is everyone who bought the battery?  He didn’t see anyone leaving the store when he came in. The OF said he threatened to sue them individually and the store, and he was coming back with a cop.

The manager finally admitted there were no batteries, and sold him a better battery at the sale price. The customer has to stand his ground.

The next is the same store chain, and this OF says it was in an ad this store used off and on. The ad says the store has a tool chest full of tools for a ridiculously low price.

The OF says twice he tried to take advantage of this ad and both times was told the store were sold out. The next time he saw the ad, he went that evening to the store and saw quite a few of the boxes ready for sale on a table.

The sale was the next day and, just as the OF above (the OFs at that time lived hundreds of miles apart and this was not the same store, but the same chain so conversing with the other OF did not take place), this OF showed up first thing in the morning.

The table was empty and a clerk said he was sorry but they were sold out and offered a similar set at a higher price. This OF raised such a fuss, and insisted they were there and said that he checked it out the night before.

He, too, threatened legal action and they brought the advertised tool set out from the back and sold it to the OF for the advertised price. The OFs stand their ground.

One OF said he likes the way Walmart does it. Whatever the sale item is, it is where it is supposed to be and all wrapped up in plastic.

When it comes time for the sale, the wrapping is removed and the sharks come to the chum. The OF said he was in the right place at the right time, and had no intention of purchasing a TV but was right there when the Walmart employee was removing the wrapping off one of these sales.

The OF said he grabbed one and paid less for that TV than a cheap clock radio cost. The OF still has it and it works great.

The wife saw him later on in the store with the TV in his cart and she asked, “What the heck is this?  We don’t need another TV.”

The OF told his wife the price and took her back to where the TVs were to show her, and they were all gone. The OF said that he was unintentionally one of the Piranhas that just happened to be the first in line.

The OFs say, when messing with seniors and saving a buck, be sure to have your ducks in line because you are messing with a formidable foe.

One OF mentioned that we can’t trust the weatherman, we can’t trust politicians, we can’t trust the news, and we can’t trust ads. He added anyone that pays full price for a mattress must be from another planet.

Another OF mentioned he thinks the real “bait and switch” going on now is the one being perpetrated by National Grid. In this OFs opinion, National Grid wants a 5-percent increase, so the company asks for 11 percent.

The people become furious and get up in arms, the legislators get behind them, and the Public Service Commission reduces the increase to 5 percent. The PSC says, “Look what we did for you.” The legislators say, “Look what we did for you.” National Grid says it listened to the populace and so it accepted the 5-percent rate increase.

The only win would be for a 0-percent increase but that would not help National Grid with its increase in operating expenses. “Lets see how this one plays out,” the OF said.

Those Old Men of the Mountain who met at the Your Way Café in Schoharie (and who can’t wait to get their hands on the next ad for something they need or want) were: George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Robie Osterman, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Richard Frank, Dave Williams, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Pete Whitbeck, Roger Shafer, Bob Benac, Art Frament, Otis Lawyer, Duncan Bellinger, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Wayne Gaul, Duane Wagonbaugh, Bob Lassome, Don Wood, Sonny Mercer, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Warren Willsey, Mike Willsey, Josh Hundley, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.

On these waning days of a continual spring (there was no real summer), it was Tuesday, Aug. 29, when the early contingent of the Old Men of the Mountain gathered on the sidewalk in front of the Country Café in Schoharie, waiting for it to open before the men piled in. On the sidewalk, the OFs began discussing many of the topics that would be carried into the Country Café.

A discussion that was typical of the OFs (in manner not in subject) was how some OGs were jawing at another OG about the type of cocoa he served them in his at-home workshop. The OFs were complaining when the OG was trying to get work done, even though the OFs who showed up there (just for someplace to go and visit), that his cocoa was weak and cheap. For goodness sake!

The cocoa was free, the entertainment was free, the parking was free, stools and rickety old chairs were free for the OFs’ use, and yet these visiting OFs have the audacity to complain.

These OGs complained so much that the fellow with the shop had to upgrade his cocoa brand. Through experimentation and the process of elimination, the OF now serves Swiss Miss to the visiting OFs, and these ingrates don’t even chip in.

The next thing you know, the OFs will be asking, “Where are the doughnuts”?

The OF with the shop says he really doesn’t mind too much; the OFs do on occasion bring in some business. They also offer free advice, lots of free advice, none of it right though, he added.

This common scenario of the OMOTM is a clue to the type of summer we in the Northeast have experienced. The OFs claim we never really exited the cocoa-doughnut phase of fall and winter, and now the OFs are right into what should be the cocoa-doughnut, pumpkin, apple pie phase of the year.

The OFs said they never really felt like having watermelon and soft ice-cream this summer.

Disasters everywhere

With all the problems that the southeast coast of Texas is having with Hurricane Harvey, Irene pops up her ugly head, flooding residents of our area with memories, and how close it was in the time of year for these two cataclysmic events. Irene was nasty but the OFs noted how many more people were affected by Harvey.

Although one OF mentioned that, if it happens to you, it is a disaster of one, so whether it is happening to seventy thousand, twenty thousand, or just a few hundred, it is still a disaster to those involved. What do you do when everything you have is swept away in a flood, or burned up in a forest fire, or buried under rubble in an earthquake

It is all mind-numbing for those going through it.

One OF said, “The west coast burns up, the South gets blown away, the center of the country gets sucked into the heavens, and the east coast becomes buried under snow.”

The OF said, “We can run but we can’t hide. Bad weather will find you, and if it is not the weather it is bugs, snakes, and alligators.”

Another OF added, “If it wasn’t for all that, there would be no challenges and life would be boring.”

And one more OF further stated, “Tell that to someone whose house has just burned to the ground.”

Pioneer’s perspective

That started another conversation on how the pioneers lived with no electricity, no air conditioners or refrigerators, and no means of expanded verbal conversation. News traveled only by word of mouth, or on the printed page.

One OF said at least the Indians were one up on us there — they had smoke signals.

It is hard for the younger group of OFs to envision this. The OFs that are 80 or beyond had to do a lot without the accepted conveniences of today and many of the OFs said, “We didn’t miss them because we didn’t have them.”  

However, one OF said, “Things weren’t too bad because we had cars and trucks and even airplanes; we had radios, crystal sets, and we even had the telephone. It is our parents that got along quite well without the conveniences of the 1930s. Look at all the advancements they had in World War I.”

The OF added, “Why, when we were young. we even had Johnny Ray, and Elvis.”

The OFs had to agree (even though some were still farming with horses) that the modern conveniences were around.  Why, we even had F.W. Woolworth's, Kresge’s, Wards, and Sears — what else did the OFs need?

The OFs who gathered at the Country Café on Main Street in Schoharie, with one whipping out his phone to order a part so the OF could repair his lawn tractor, were: Miner Stevens, Josh Buck, Bill Lichliter, George Washburn,  Harold Guest, Robie Osterman, Roger Chapman, Glenn Patterson (who showed all of  the OFs up by hiking to the restaurant, and then he had to hike home), Pete Whitbeck, Chuck Aelesio, Richard Frank, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Roger Shafer, Otis Lawyer, Jim Heiser, Mark Traver, Art Frament, Ray Kennedy, Bob Benac, Herb Sawotka, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Bob Lassome, Duane Wagonbaugh, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Rev. Jay Francis, Elwood Vanderbilt, Richard Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, John Rossmann, Gerry Chartier, Mike Willsey, and me.

 

It is strange how, as we get older, the Old Men of the Mountain complain that the years go by so fast, yet at times, a day seems to last forever. The week seems to have only three days — Tuesdays, Mondays, and then Tuesdays again. Tuesday, Aug. 22, the OMOTM sat around the tables at Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh.

Those who regularly read this column know that the conversations of the OFs revolve around a basic group of topics. A frequent topic is cars, trucks, tractors, and tools. A sub-group within this basic group can be antique, old, almost new, new, and anywhere in between.

Tuesday morning, the OFs were talking about the smartest way to own a vehicle for general transportation. Leasing did not come up, but trading in vehicles every couple of years was one way.

Purchasing a good new or late-model car or truck and running the thing as long as the OF could (until it started to cost a lot of money to keep it on the road) was another option. One OF said he buys a cheap  means of transportation — nothing more than a couple grand — and runs it about three or four years, or until the car or van dies and then he hunts down another cheap one and does the same thing.  To him, the make and model mean nothing. No product loyalty here.

Another OF said that, when he was first married (and that was a long time ago when Duesenbergs and Whippets were still running around), his father-in-law said the best thing to do was (if the OF could afford it) to purchase a Rolls Royce and then make it the only car the OF would ever own.

The father-in-law continued, “The Rolls will eventually be the cheapest transportation of any by not having to purchase other cars as they begin to wear out.”

One OF added that was all right back when gas was only 12 to 19 cents a gallon. The cars like that Rolls got only about eight or nine gallons per mile — if that. Now gas is $2.50 to three bucks a gallon and a vehicle like that does not look like such a good bargain. Back then, we never saw that spike in gas prices coming.

“To go along with that,” an OF added, “neither did we see the price of eggs, milk, bread, or coffee, being like it is now.”

“Yeah,” a second OG said, “a cup of coffee used to be a nickel at Woolworth’s counter; now it is almost a buck and some places charge a buck and half.”

“What the heck,” another OF chimed in, “what about paint? Look what a gallon of good paint costs, and it is a stretch to get a gallon to cover 400 square feet.”  A lively discussion.

Ships collide

The Navy guys were at it again with the latest news of two ships running into each other. This misfortune was no competition — a huge oil tanker and a naval destroyer coming together. That is like a tractor trailer hitting a Yugo.

One OF who was not a Navy man said he thinks the ships are so modernized that no one is looking out the windows. The sailors are all in some dark room, maneuvering the ship by computer, or like airplanes, they may have the ships on automatic pilot as they are headed from point A to point B no matter what.

But what does this OF know?  The only boats of any size he has been on are ferry boats.

Prices rise

This category would almost fit in the cars-and-truck conversation but it didn’t. Even though OFs are OFs (emphasis on old), some still ride motorcycles.

This scribe feels that the OFs who do are beyond the wheelie stage, but these OFs were talking about the cost of motorcycles. At the prices some of these bikes sell for, most of the OFs say they would want a windshield, roof, doors, and a trunk.

What brought up this dialogue was that one OF mentioned that at a recent vehicle auction an Indian motorcycle with a sidecar was sold for $115,000. An OF piped up that he had one of those, and with a sidecar.

Another OF said his son also had an Indian motorcycle (40 years ago) but sold it because it was always breaking down. The OF thought the thing his son had was old and tired and belonged in a museum.

As the OFs kept talking about the price of things from nickel-and-dime items to big-ticket items, one OF mentioned that, at today’s cost of living, no wonder his grandkids now make as much money when they start working as he made (after working 30 years) when he retired.

Another OF said that 20 years ago the financial guys where he worked had figures that allowed for inflation. The OF said, as he thinks back now at the table at Mrs. K’s, “We have way surpassed the figures the advisors threw out.” However, the OF is not totally sure due to foggy memory cells of 20 to 30 years ago.

Those Old Men of the Mountain who had enough memory left to make it to Mrs. K’s Restaurant on Main Street in Middleburgh were: Harold Guest, Bill Lichliter, Pete Whitbeck, Dave Williams, Bill Bartholomew, John Rossmann, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Chuck Aelesio, Richard Frank, Roger Chapman, Marty Herzog, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Jim Heiser, Art Frament, Ray Kennedy, Herb Sawotka, Russ Pokorny, Mace Porter, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Wayne Gaul, Ted Feurer, Ted Leherman, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink and his grandson Ellis, Duane Wagonbaugh, Ted Willsey — the only OF with a private chauffeur — Denise, Bob Lassome, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.

Location:

It was Aug. 15, and The Old Men of the Mountain met at the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh and for some reason the OMOTM arrived at the restaurant in dribs and drabs. Generally the OGs arrive in various groups at about the same time — last Tuesday was different. Eventually, the OGs made it.

It was a day of news for the OFs but unfortunately much of it was of interest only to the OMOTM. The discussions were on who was ill and all their problems; however, this is of concern mostly to the OFs’ families and the OFs.

A topic talked about for a little bit was the article in The Times Union about the Albany area being the “worst” place to retire. At least it was at the bottom of the list of 117 places used in the sample.

The OFs’ breakfast is a good place for this discussion because the OFs are all retired. The ones who stick it out summer and winter had a little problem with that commentary because they had no real comparison, but the ones who fly away in the winter months did have a few comments and they heartily agreed with the conclusion of the study.

It is the typical laments of most New Yorkers: the lack of sunshine in summer and winter; taxes being ridiculous compared to any other place; and, of course, the politics. Some said New York is so out of touch with the rest of the country it is like a little country all to itself, at least in the Albany area.

Lack of inexpensive public transportation to outlying areas is a big concern for retired people and it is virtually nonexistent in the tri-city area. Senior housing, where the seniors can walk to church,  grocery stores, and pharmacies at reasonable prices are needed.

One OF mentioned he did not think the area even considered itself as a place to retire to. It is a center of government, education, and some industry. This OF said that the tri-city area is the place to make your mark when you are young, invest wisely, then retire to the sunny, laid-back places. Here it is a hustle-bustle, push-shove atmosphere.

An OF added. “I am here because I am used to the high taxes, political shenanigans, and all my friends and family are here.” The OF said he does not want to wander off to where he doesn’t know anybody just for a few more rays of sunshine.

“As long as I am happy where I am,” the OF said, “that is where I am going to stay. When things go wrong, at least I will know the doctors and there will be people I know to take care of me. I don’t need someone else to tell me where to retire to.”

Catching up

The conversation turned to a more cheerful topic concerning an event that occurred a couple of weeks ago. At the Hilltown Café restaurant in Rensselaerville, a rare happenstance took place.

It is necessary to know the layout of the restaurant to follow this. The restaurant has only tables and a counter — no booths. The restaurant dining area is basically L-shaped.

The OFs start filling the restaurant up from the bottom of the L, then proceeding up the leg of the L, sitting at tables. At the bottom of the L, the tables are pushed together and, when filled, the OFs start sitting at individual tables that hold four people, leaving the ones in front for regular patrons.

On this particular morning, one of the regular patrons came in and sat at one of the tables in the leg of the L. As the other OFs came in and the back was full the OFs started sitting at tables going up the leg, leaving this local gentleman sitting at his table alone, surrounded by the OMOTM.

Eventually all the tables were full of OMOTM except his. (Almost filling up a restaurant is common with the OM).  

When three more OFs came in and all tables were full they went to the table where the older, regular patron was sitting and asked if was OK if they sat with him. (Rarely does this scribe use names; this is to protect the innocent but in this case it is necessary to have this little report make any sense.)

The regular patron said, “Sure, I just came in to see if Bill Bartholomew was coming. I see his name in The Enterprise quite often and would like to see him because I used to do business with him years ago.” The three OFs smiled because the man he was talking to, and who had asked him if it was OK to sit there, was Bill Bartholomew.

Age has a way of sneaking up on us OFs and, if the OFs don’t check the mirror every now and then, many would not even recognize themselves. These two did not recognize each other until names were said and hands were shook.

Condolences offered

Life goes on in somewhat of a normal pace. The pace is different for us all, including the OMOTM. As age creeps up on us, adversity slips in; the OFs adjust to the adversity that now becomes part of the routine.

When this change in the routine is accepted and the adversity eventually comes to an end, though the OFs know it is going to happen, it is still hard. With that in mind, the Old Men of the Mountain would like to offer their heartfelt condolences to Harold Guest on the passing of his wife, Arlene, on Sunday, Aug. 13.  

The Old Men of the Mountain met at the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh with not a hint of the news of Arlene until the breakfast; those who met were all saddened and they were: Harold Guest, Miner Stevens, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Pete Whitbeck, Dave Williams, Bill Bartholomew, Don Wood, Herb Sawotka, Ray Kennedy, Roger Chapman, Duane Wagonbaugh, Wayne Gaul, Ted Feurer, Bob Lassome, Gerry Irwin, Russ Pokorny, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink and his grandson Ellis Fink, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.

Location:

The Old Men of the Mountain met at Kim’s West Winds in Preston Hollow on Tuesday, Aug. 8.

For some reason, the pickin’s of OFs was slim. It was found that only a few of the old goats had legal excuses.

Those OFs were the ones who were in the hospital and the one that checked in for his senior trip. The OF in Scotland, and one other who also went to Canada, plus the other world travelers, will have to give accounts of their trips upon their return.

Those who became lost apparently never read “Acres of Diamonds,” and others must have had a tough night and did not get up. This “lack of sleep” used to be a malady of the OF’s younger years; now the same malaise sets in around 70 years old or so.

OFs prefer stores to online shopping

A topic that the OFs talked about was the closing of so many stores. The OFs mentioned Sears a few weeks ago and brought up the same store again, but now they included other major stores, and complete malls.

The OFs continued that, at our ages, most cannot get accustomed to using the phone or the computer to purchase items. The OFs think that, once they put in the information that the supplier requests in order to “fill the basket,” the supplier now knows too much about the OF (and so does anybody else who has the ability to access that information) because now it is digital and out there.

The OFs wonder what is to stop some outsider from ordering something in your name. If that situation should happen, then the OFs say they are left with the hassle of trying to straighten it out. In the meantime, their credit rating is shot because the OF surely is not going to pay for something he did not order and did not receive.

The OMOTM covered the looky, touchy, feely bit a week or so ago but still brought it up again this Tuesday. With the OFs not being too astute with this purchasing “online” they were wondering what-if.  If they do (the online order) and it does not fit, or it is not exactly what the OF thought it would be, what now?

Are you stuck with it, do you have to pay to return it, and of course the box has been opened. Sometimes (the way things are packaged today) it seems like the manufacturer does not want anyone to use the product inside because it is almost impossible to get at the product because of the packaging.

One OF said on many things it is necessary to tear the whole package apart to get at the two-dollar item inside. Then on the box it might say, “For credit, return in original box.” Yeah, right!  The original box is torn to bits and all over the floor.

One OF suggested it is probably a good idea to check on the return policy before ordering. Another OF related a story about shopping for a new blazer.

His old blazer fit but was getting a little battle worn from too many funerals. The OF knew his size and it was the size that was in the old blazer; however, he and his wife went to three stores and nothing fit.

They were all too tight across the shoulders. The OF said he and his wife wound up at Boscov’s and were in the sport blazer section and were having the same problem. A salesman came over and asked if he could help.

The OF said he told the problem to the salesman and the salesman said, “Oh sir, you won’t find that size here. You belong over in Portly.”

Say what!? The old blazer could not have been that old.

The wife said, “You OG, you had that coat when you were still working and that was 22 years ago, and it is not the shoulders that’s too tight.”

The OF continued, “The salesman was right; the portly size fit perfectly.”

Now how is anyone going to get that kind of service from the phone, or the computer, or the internet.

The OFs feel it is the same old story. They are out of the loop, as mentioned before, but the OFs feel the loop is not really a loop but it is a noose that is surrounding the necks of people to increase the profit line for big corporations.

Get rid of the employees, get rid of the property, save on transportation, save on taxes — a whole litany of cost savings for businesses and passed on to the customer.

Traveling to see castles and boats

Some of the traveling OMOTM voyaged to the Thousand Islands. The OFs who have been there all admitted it is a beautiful area.

The tourists’ areas of Boldt Castle, and its love story of how it came about made for a good discussion. It was how the love of one man for one woman was so intense that, upon her death, the husband never went back to Heart Island, or finished the castle.

There is also the Singer Castle that was built by Frederick Bourne who was the fifth president of the Singer Sewing Machine Company (which is where the name Singer Castle came from).  This is the only remaining castle on the St. Lawrence River to have been completely restored, furnished, and resided in during the heyday of the great builders in New York.

Some of the OFs have visited both of these places.

The Thousand Islands is the place to be if anyone is interested in boats, particularly antique boats. It looks like the OFs are on a boat kick because the last column mentioned the same topic — only presented completely differently.

One OF said it is not necessary to go all the way to the Thousand Islands to check out boats. We have Cohoes and Waterford right in our own backyard and see boats there, especially when they have the steamboat and tugboat shows.

The Old Men of the Mountain who made it to Kim’s West Winds in Preston Hollow (and they did not come by boat, although maybe they could have: From the Vlaie pond, they could get there by canoe down the Catskill creek) were: George Washburn, Josh Buck, Roger Chapman, Bill Lichliter, Robie Osterman, Dave Williams, Art Frament, Herb Sawotka, Ray Kennedy, Ted Feurer, Wayne Gaul, Ted Leherman, Gerry Chartier, Mike Willsey, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, and me.

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Tuesday was the first of August and, as we said before, the summer goes so fast, and winter takes forever — except, of course, for the ski enthusiasts. On Tuesday, we met at the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville.

As this scribe looked around at the folks in the Hilltown Café, he noticed all the patrons had gray hair, and all were men, even those who were regular customers of the restaurant. The only people whose ages seemed to be around 30 were the help.

This scribe also noticed that one of the local customers who came in had a cane and he was bent over at about 30 degrees. This scribe mentioned to an OMOTM that he looked liked he fit right in with the group.

Then the discussion began. There is no such thing as the golden years — gold does not rust. Gold is the wrong adjective; it should be the rusting years, and rust is the proper adjective. After age 65 rust begins to settle in.

The joints begin to rust and squeak; the eyes start to cloud over; the ears start to hum and ring, and catch only every other word; the veins begin clog; the brain begins to atrophy; the skin begins to develop scales while funny spots appear; and the muscles start their trip south.

There is nothing golden about it. The adjective is rust! The gold goes to doctors, pharmaceutical companies, and nursing homes. We start to rust getting prepared to turn to ashes. So say the OFs.

Shipwrights

Before all this happens, the OMOTM are busy. We are busy with many projects; now we have a couple of OFs building boats.

One OF is building a “pirate ship” and this thing is no toy. It is more than 32 feet long and at least 14 feet high.

Another OMOTM traveled to a school in Maine where they teach people how to build a Maine dinghy, and the OF is in the process of building one now at home.

Maybe there could be a battle of boats with the dinghy attacking the pirate ship. Complete with costumes of course.

Strange death of an ant

An OF related a story of an observation he had never seen before and none of the other OFs have either. The OF said he was just resting on his back porch when he spotted a bug so tiny that he could not tell what it was.

This little dot of a spot was inching its way across the floor when a small ant came onto the porch. The OF said the little dot stopped and watched this ant as the ant kept crawling closer to the dot.

When the ant got so close to the dot it was about to hit the dot, the dot jumped up and landed on the back of the ant. The OF said in a few seconds the ant was gone.

The dot turned out to be a very, very, small spider.This whole scenario developed in a space of 3/16 to 1/4 of an inch, and in less than a minute. To see something happen in nature so rare and to be focused at that spot at that precise moment in time is amazing.

The OFs wonder how much else people miss by being wrapped up in so much useless junk like iPods, and cell phones, not watching what is really going on around them.

Gadabouts galore

One thing is obvious about the OMOTM — the OFs for the most part are seniors. This leads many of the OFs to be part of senior organizations. This is another way for seniors to get out and get active.

Some of the OFs go on these senior trips that take them places that they have never been, and are not too far from their home base. Some of the OFs are real gadabouts and have been all over the world and some not so much.

Relating seniors to seniors (and not the OMOTM), the senior groups are good for them as a means for travel and companionship. Some of the OFs do go on the senior trips, especially the ones to casinos, or the mystery runs, or trips to see plays, or partake in some celebration.

These trips are great for seniors that can no longer drive. The trips still gives them a chance to get out. At our table, some of the OFs are going to miss a breakfast because of a trip. It was noted that these OFs did request permission to miss a meeting to go on the trip and permission was granted.

Getting in touch

Generally, when the OFs talk about what they did during their working careers, we hear stories concerning things that happened. On Tuesday morning, the exchange was about people the OFs worked with and who were their good friends.

Now that the OFs have been retired for some time, they have lost all touch with these people and the discussion was wondering what they are doing now. During the discussion, some of the OFs made notes to try to track some of these people down.

Some may have passed on, some may have moved clear across the country, some may be in nursing homes, and the OFs have no clue about many of them. A couple of the OFs said they don’t want to locate some of them; they didn’t like them when they were working with them and have no desire to try and find them now.

The OFs get along with each other (even though some are tech savvy and some are quickly becoming more out of the loop), yet they all found their way to the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville, tech savvy or not, and they were: Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Roger Chapman, Bill Lichliter and his guest, Josh Buck and Chrissy Buck, Pete Whitbeck, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Art Frament, Ray Kennedy, Chuck Aelesio, Richard Frank, Bill Rice, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, and their guest Art Williams, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Herb Bahrmann, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, and me.

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Again through the fog, the drizzle, and the rain, it was a dreary Tuesday morning, July 25. Still, through the mist, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Home Front Café in Altamont. It is nice that, once we are through the doors of the restaurants, the feeling is not so dreary even though the OMOTM mutter about it as they belly up to the tables.

We have another OF who ignored the bylaws of this nefarious group and made an appointment (which could have been scheduled at any time) on a Tuesday morning. His absence caused some of the other OFs to grumble about him not being here.

It may be that we have to print out a new release of the bylaws of the Old Men of the Mountain. In order to do this, it will be necessary to take up a collection for the printing process because the 28-page document takes up a lot of ink and paper.

Then the OFs will have to schedule a supper meeting to vote on any amendments, additions, or corrections to the current bylaws all because one OF decided his health was more important than the OMOTM.

According to the bylaws, no OMOTM is permitted to die; have a funeral; attend a wedding; or attend someone else’s funeral, baptism, or birthday on a Tuesday morning; however, the afternoon is fine. The one exception to this is, if an OF decides to get married on a Tuesday morning, all the OFs are automatically invited to the wedding and get a chance to kiss the bride.

The clatter of chatter

As the OFs file into the Home Front Café, or any other restaurant the OFs frequent as far as that goes, the din of chatter increases. There comes a point where it is hard to distinguish one conversation from another. One OF mentioned this to the OF sitting next to him as they both were trying to converse in separate topics with other OFs.

One OF said, “Boy there is a lot of chatter going on” and the other OF said, “Yes there is, but it is all intelligent chatter.” A good observation.

There was one conversation about the quality of many of the items we purchase today. One OF said that purchasing tools is one area where the OFs must be diligent when checking quality.

It is hard to destroy an anvil because that is one tool that is meant to be abused. However, this OF said he heard of another OF breaking an anvil. Now that is hard to do.

One OF accused another OF of purchasing tools just to hang on a wall and not using them. He said the OF does this to look like a mechanic. That was like two artists squabbling and one artist telling the other artist he can’t paint. It is all subjective.

Still working

There are many OFs who are still working; most of the work is being in business for themselves and still offering their services. Some of these endeavors are buying and selling and there was a discussion of people attempting to get a deal.

The OFs say many times they offer an item and quote a price and the buyer wants it cheaper. The OFs say, “The price is the price. I will keep the machine; you can keep your money.”

One OF said, “People watch too much TV like ‘American Pickers’ and ‘Pawn Stars.’”

Commitment to country is gone

The OFs did a little time-jumping on Tuesday morning and talked about rationing, savings bonds, and saving stamps. This scribe may be wrong (and his wife maintains this scribe generally is) but he thinks many young people wouldn’t even know what the discussion was about.

The OFs remember purchasing savings bonds and going to shows where the reason for the show was to encourage people to buy bonds. Kids remember purchasing or having their parents give them savings-stamp books and, when the book was full of savings stamps, the kids could swap it in for a $25 savings bond. All this was for supporting the war effort.

Kids saved scrap metal; they also saved the aluminum foil sticks of gum came wrapped in and rolled it into a ball and turned that in. Gas, sugar, meat, and many other items were rationed. Gas was rationed in ABC classes. The OFs said farming was rationed at one class, gas for business at another, and getting back and forth to work yet another.

Squeezing the red dot on the oleomargarine (which turned the white shortening-like margarine to yellow so it looked more like butter — did I mention butter was also rationed?) was still another chore the kids liked to do. The OFs remember this as a contribution to the country and really not a chore.

The OFs think a lot of this commitment to country is gone. One OF said, “Too many takers and not enough givers.”

This OF went on to say, “Too many now think the government, that is, the country owes them a living.”

Guard geese

My heart knows

  what the wild goose knows,

And I must go

  where the wild goose goes.

The OFs next discussed what good guard dogs geese make, maybe not all geese but most. One OF had a single goose settle in his pond in front of his house and this goose wants this pond all to himself or herself. This bird attacks people, cars, trucks, motorcycles, and other geese.

The OF said a small flock of geese landed in the pond and in short time that single goose (which has been there since late spring) had chased all the interloper geese away. The other OFs mentioned having similar experiences with geese both wild and domestic. One OF said they are not afraid of anything.

Then again, it was mentioned that some of these birds have real pleasant personalities and make great pets; these OFs also said that the birds can be either wild or domesticated. One OF had a wild goose settle in and it acted like a dog. The goose hung around the house, greeted people as they visited, and followed them around.   

Those OFs who made it to the Home Front Café in Altamont, and were going home to get the snow blowers out, were: Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Bill Lichliter, Lou Schenck, John Rossmann, Harold Guest; his guest, Jim Guest, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Karl Remmers, Russ Pokorny, Warren Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Wayne Gaul, Ted Feurer, Ted Willsey, Bob Lassome, Duane Wagonbaugh, Henry Whipple, Rich Vanderbilt, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.

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Tuesday, July 18, and the summer (and some say, “What summer?”) is flying by. Note to young people: The older you become, the faster time goes; the next thing, it will be raking leaves and shoveling snow. If you are going to do anything that is sunshine related, do it now or it will be too late.

The Old Men of the Mountain met at the Chuck Wagon Diner in Princetown. A contingent of OMOTM arrived at the same time at the Chuck Wagon and were standing outside in the early-morning mist, talking to each other for about 10 minutes before going inside to continue the conversation. It was eerie and nostalgic at the same time, that is, a group of old men standing in the mist of early morning just talking and laughing.

A recurrent conversation this summer is how often the lawns or yards have to be mowed, and how the weeds are taking over. The plants we want to grow are fussy — not enough water and the plant dries up, too much water and they wither and rot.

Weeds, on the other hand, grow like weeds in a drought, or with constant rain like this year. It makes no difference. One OF commented that it is beginning to look a lot like Ireland on the Hill because it is shimmering green.

The case for mowing the lawn brought out comments on the old TV show “Home Improvement with Tim Allen.” The OFs felt now is the time for jet-engine lawn mowers, or at least six-cylinder turbo-charged engines — not only so the OFs could cover more ground in a shorter period of time, but also zoom through higher, tougher grass.

One OF has a large lawn with few shrubs and trees that allows him to make passes of 200 feet or so. This OF swears that, when he starts back for a returning pass, the grass has already grown a couple of inches in the pass he has just mowed.

One OF (who takes a lot of the remarks seriously and misses the sarcasm or humor on many of the pronouncements the OFs utter) said that it is necessary to be careful how fast the OFs get the blades spinning because, if they go too fast, the lawnmower will become like a hydrofoil or Hovercraft and take off.

This OF said that lawn mowers are generally top heavy and will tip over easily causing the OF to get hurt. (Say what! Or is this OF just putting all of the other OFs on?)

Lost and found

The next topic is about a common phenomenon and age has nothing to do with it, neither does dementia or Alzheimer’s, nor even just plain forgetfulness. How many times does anyone set something down — quite often after just using it — something that they use all the time and then not be able to find it?

The OFs brought this up and mentioned hunting for the item until the OF’s hunter is sore. Eventually the OF said it becomes give-up time and the OF goes out to purchase another one, at which point, son-of-a-gun, the old one turns up in no time.

Of the stories told, one OF recounted a story about another OF who wears transition glasses. The OF said that they transition from light to dark almost instantly; however, the other way around, not so — going from light to dark, the lens takes it time.

This transition generally requires the wearer to either lift these glasses up, or take them off to find, for instance, a light switch inside a garage. This is the scenario that confronted the OF whom the second OF was telling the story on.

The OF pulled into his dark garage but it was still light outside so the lenses remained dark. The OF raised the glasses to find the light switch. Later on, the OF decided to put the glasses back on and could not find them. The OF hunted and his family hunted all over to no avail, no glasses.

After a week of no glasses, the OF finally decided to take his prescription and purchase another pair of transition-lens glasses.

The OF wore the new glasses for a couple of days and looked for the original pair, still to no avail. One day, he took the car and ran some errands; it was a bright sunny day (this had to be a year ago) and the lenses turned almost black.

When he pulled into the garage, the same thing happened. The OF had to remove his glasses to find the switch and, when he did this, the OF set the new transition glasses directly on top of his old ones!

The words here “raise” and “remove” are not the same thing. Habits can get anyone, not only OFs, into a lot of trouble. In this case, the habit is remove; the thought was raise.

The OFs said the most common situation for this happening is with tools. One OF said this happens so frequently he wonders if there has ever been a survey done on hunting for lost items that are not lost and how much time is spent doing this.

This OF said the worst time he remembered was when he was repairing some siding on one of his sheds. The OF said he had an apron full of nails, took a hammer and drove in a nail. He was distracted by his son who asked a simple quick question.

The OF said, after he answered his son, he took a nail and went to drive it in but — no hammer. The OF swore he never put it down, but he must have because he and the son looked all over and eventually found it on the ground under a sawhorse, and under a board that was on top of the hammer. Happens all the time!  The OFs do one thing and think they have done another.

Those Old Men of the Mountain who at least found their way to the Chuck Wagon Diner in Princetown and didn’t have to go hunting for the diner were: Bill Lichliter, his nephew Josh Buck, Roger Chapman, Pete Whitbeck, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Chuck Aelesio, Richard Frank, Wayne Gaul, Ted Feurer, Ted Lehermann, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Art Frament, Herb Sawotka, Joe Ketzer, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Herb Bahrmann, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Glenn Patterson, Otis Lawyer, Mark Traver, Russ Pokorny, Warren Willsey, Mike Willsey, Ted Willsey, Bob Lassome, Duane Wagonbaugh, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Elwood Vanderbilt, Roger Fairchild, Harold Grippen, and me, and I think I have written this.

 

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