On the last day of September 2014, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Country Café in Schoharie. The Country Café is across the street from the Parrott House, which is a three-story hotel on the main street of the village.
The Parrott House holds a lot of memories for many of the OFs but, after Tropical Storm Irene entered the picture in Schoharie County in 2011, the hotel fell on hard times. The OFs say this is a shame.
The Parrott House itself can almost be considered one of the centerpieces of the county. Today, looking across at the building in need of repair inside and out, and with a blue blanket stuffed in one of the windows apparently to keep out some flying critters and drafts, the paint peeling, and the sign drooping, the building looks sad. It almost appears to be saying, “Help me.”
One OF said that it would take someone with deep pockets to bring it back to life, and then there is all the Schoharie politics that would go with it. One OF said the power structure in Schoharie is anti-this, anti-that, and anti-this again.
The anti group has a whole series of hoops for anyone trying to do something to jump through, and, once anyone is done with those, there is a whole series more of hoops to go through and someone in the group is running around gathering up the first set of hoops so it is necessary to go through them again.
Rigmarole in Berne
Then there is all the rigmarole required to hook up to the new sewer system in the village of Berne. That is another story, but the way it was told at the gathering this morning was so pathetic it was like a comedy show.
This exchange came from OFs at the breakfast who knew something about the mechanics of what was being installed and they were left scratching their heads.
The OFs on this topic were wondering whatever happens to common sense to when people become elected or are appointed to this board or that board, yet when they are not together with these groups seem like such nice, normal people and great to be with.
Political ads confound OFs
A few quick yearly comments that pop up at election time are the political ads. Most all the OFs are sick of them (the word “most” is used here because the scribe can only report what is within earshot of where this scribe’s bum is plopped).
(Another aside: The wife of this scribe said that the scope of his earshot is only about the end of his arm, because she maintains that this scribe can’t hear her when she is in the same room with him.)
Back to the political ads — to the OFs, the only one that benefits from these ads is the media.
“They must love it,” one OF said.
Pols patch roads
Another sign that it is October is handing out money for this program and that program, when it could have been done long ago. All of a sudden, the blacktop batch plants are working overtime because many roads are being paved.
The OFs also noticed that, where fancy people live (and the roads weren’t that bad), these roads are being paved, and the roads where the middle class hang out are still being neglected.
Church-dinner fans
Fall is not only the season for leaf peekers, but it is also the season of church dinners. The OFs highly recommend these dinners.
Not only do you get fed well but you help support the small-town community churches, and these dinners are inexpensive plus being all you can eat. Many of these church dinners have craft tables set up that also contribute to the small churches, and a big plus is that most of the desserts at these dinners are homemade pies. Some even have take-outs.
One OF said what he does is attend the supper and eat a meal, then he orders a takeout, takes it home and splits it up, places some in the freezer, and some in the fridge, and he eats well for a week. These OFs aren’t dumb, but, of course, they have been around awhile — that is why they are OFs.
Garden gadget
At Tuesday morning’s breakfast, the OFs had a double show and tell. One OF purchased, at an estate/garage sale, a gadget that was used for gardening. It was old, so he brought it in to see if any of the OFs knew what it was.
The OFs came close but no cigar. It was a potato planter that was built so the person planting the potatoes did not have to bend over to do so. Must have been invented a long time ago by someone with a bad back.
The buzz on bees
Another OF brought in a picture he had taken of a beehive in a tree. Without being inside the tree, the combs of honey just hung from a “Y” of a branch while the bees just kept on building the hive.
This OF is a beekeeper and supplies many of the OFs with their honey.
Another reason the OFs are OFs, many eat cinnamon and honey regularly. The OFs maintain that adding that combination of food to their diet keeps many diseases and ailments away.
The photograph drew much attention, because the OFs understand that there seems to have been a problem with the bee population the last few years; however, this photo showed there were a ton of bees around this hive exposed to the air. One OF commented that it is good thing a bear hasn’t found that hive yet.
Those OFs that attended the breakfast at the Country Café on Main Street in Schoharie and came on their own, not chased in by bees, were: Miner Stevens, Dave Williams, Jim Heiser, Roger Shafer, Steve Kelly, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, John Rossmann, Bill Bartholomew, Roger Chapman, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Rich Donnelly, Bob Lassome, Joe Loubier, Duane Wagenbaugh, Don Wood, Duncan Bellinger, Bill Krause, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, Ted Willsey, Mike Willsey (ask Mike what not to do when using a table saw), Gerry Chartier, and me.
On Sept. 23, the Old Men of the Mountain met at Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh. The streets of Middleburgh are lined with bright-colored yellow mums, and they can’t be missed. Schoharie has their main street lined with flowers in those simulated halves of wine barrels. This makes for a very colorful ride through parts of the Schoharie Valley just prior to, or during, the fall color season.
The OFs were talking about a ride out through the valley that would be very picturesque and thought that, instead of heading to Vermont, people would see similar views here — only better. The OFs have talked about traveling through the Helderbergs on many occasions but the rides are still worth the travels.
Starting in Altamont (with its Home Front Café), through Knox, to Rock Road, to County Route 1, to South Berne, just past the little village of South Berne is a church on a hill to the left, and 408 goes to the right; take that to Route 85 to Rensselaerville, (home of the Hilltown Café), to County Route 353, through the little town of Hauverville, to Route 145 Livingstonville, to Middleburgh, (where the Middleburgh Diner and Mrs. K’s Restaurant are located), to Route 30 to Schoharie (with the Country Café and Scho-Co Diner) to 443 to Gallupville, Route 146 and back to Altamont.
That is a nice ride with good places to eat, and, in Middleburgh at the light, you could go across the bridge on Route 30 to Shaul’s and Barber’s farm stands, or continue a short ways beyond Route 443 on Route 30 to the Carrot Barn, or the Apple Barrel, and it becomes — Vermont, eat your heart out!
This is just one of many little day trips through the hills where the OFs reside, and quite often the carloads of OFs headed to a restaurant will take the time to stop and enjoy the views. There are also many chances to duck off on a country road, and take the road less traveled and see where the little road that beckons takes you. Small adventures abound.
The bloom is off New York
The OFs often mention where they have had the opportunity to grow up and how great it would be if it weren’t for the extremely high taxes, and the circus put on in Albany from basically January to June or whenever the clowns decide to show up for work.
The OFs say now the price of gas, heating oil, economics, and politics take the bloom off the once great state of New York, and really drives many New Yorkers away to places where they can afford to live. One OG said that you have to be either poor, and on welfare, or really rich to float your boat in New York — those of us in the middle are really wacked on.
Military changes
with the times
The scribe checked his notes for this report: rabbits, travels, old tractors, New York, Florida, Navy ships, closing day, and hawks were what was written. But there was a sundry of other discussions where this scribe did not make a note; however, with some Navy OFs, and an Air Force OF sitting together there was much naval and military talk and the only note was “military.”
According to these OFs, the Navy of today is not like the Navy they were in many years ago. This scribe can insert that the Navy the OFs were in was not like the Navy with the Merrimac, and the Merrimac Navy was not like the Navy of the Constitution. Times keep on a-changin’.
The Air Force OF flew on the C-130, and brought up that it is not that glamorous of a job. The planes were cold and noisy, the OF said, and, if anything happened over water, the plane would sink like a rock.
The Navy guys who talked about their ships told stories” One OF told of being on a ship with about 65 guys, while the other OF was on an aircraft carrier called the Wasp. The OF on the Wasp said he recently had a tour of the new carrier, the George H.W. Bush.
This OF told about some of the differences between these two carriers. First, the Bush basically holds no guns; second, it was so large that three of the old Wasps would fit inside it.
An old World War II Navy guy said that, when they went to war in the Pacific, they were in a fleet of 11 ships and he thought that was the largest flotilla he had ever seen. At the war’s end, the OF returned home in a convoy of over 100 ships. He said they went from horizon to horizon in all directions — battleships, aircraft carriers, destroyers, everything was a-float, and the OF remembered how he started out and was amazed again.
The OF on the Wasp said that, for his time, their carrier was so large that one night (with the way navigation lights on the carrier were placed) the lights were so far apart that another ship thought it had gone by and sailed right into his ship and punctured a gapping hole in the carrier. They brought in repair divers by helicopter to patch the hole so the carrier could limp back to dry-dock. (One of the OFs who was also in the Navy was one of these divers. He wasn’t at the breakfast. This OF is one of the snowbirds that have already flown.)
The OF on the Wasp telling the story said when they returned there was another carrier being built, and the bow was about ready for the new carrier. What they did was cut the bow away from the Wasp, and attach the bow that was built for the new carrier onto the Wasp and sent her back out. Now the Wasp was a patched up ship that served well. Like a hot rod, it was remade from multiple parts.
This scribe wonders how many stories are out there that should be collected and written down by someone who would interview the OFs, other than just hearing snippets of tales which are only parts of normal conversations, and where others add their stories at the same time. Now each story is just a glimpse of stories that would take a lot more space to report.
Those OFs who attended the breakfast at Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh, and have their minds in shape to relate life’s events lucidly were: Art Frament, Miner Stevens, Otis Lawyer, Robie Osterman, Karl Remmers, Steve Kelly, Roger Shafer, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Harold Guest, George Washburn, Dick Ogsbury, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Bob Benac, Roger Chapman, Chuck Aleseio, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Don Wood, Ted Willsey, Bob Lassome, Joe Loubier, Rich Donnelly, Duane Wagonbaugh, Mike Willsey, Elwood Vanderbilt, Gerry Chartier, Gill Zabel, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
In the rain and fog, the Old Men of the Mountain on Sept. 16 met at the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh. Trudging to the Middleburgh Diner through muck and mire is what the OFs are good at; trudging is what the OFs do.
The OFs are experts on trudging. To see many of us OFs disembark from a vehicle is a lesson in trudging. Many of the OFs unfold out of a car and stand for a few seconds before moving; this is to get their knees, hips, and backs in proper alignment from sitting in order to take the first step.
Then for the next 10 or 12 steps, it is the Tim Conway shuffle for these joints to creak into shape; the pain then becomes the familiar and bearable one that the OFs are used to. Then the backs may straighten up some and the gait increases until, by the time the OFs reach the door of the restaurant, they are not in bad shape.
Of course, the reverse is true when it is time to leave the restaurant. The process starts all over because now the OFs have to get out of their restaurant chairs, and trudge their creaking joints to their vehicles.
Autumn angst
’Tis the season for allergies, the end of summer nostalgia, and for political signs to start sprouting up. These things pop up all over the place, according to the OFs, they have been well fertilized and ready for a new season of lousing up the beautiful fall colors.
The continuous bombardment of nasty attack ads on TV from both sides of the aisle, as one OF said, is a great reason for the use of the mute button. He said if only he could make it automatic: That is that, on that.
Energy concerns
The OFs spoke again about solar panels (this topic is coming up more often; this scribe thinks that this type of power is coming more into vogue) and how there are pluses and minuses to this energy source.
One OF mentioned that many of these installations require the use of power from the grid. If the power goes out, so does your solar panel. Then an OF added that there are systems that collect the power and store it in batteries so, when that does happen, your need for power converts to the batteries.
To most of the OFs, all this sounds rather expensive. One OF brought up the question of how much natural resources does it take to build one of these things and maintain it.
“You can’t build a battery out of thin air,” the OF said. “Let me burn wood, at least I can grow another tree, but what can I do with a huge battery when it wears out and I have to buy another one. Where does that battery go?”
“The same thing can be said of just about anything,” another OF said. “Oil takes the same steel to build the pumps, and the offshore rigs, and what happens to those big rigs when the oil runs out?”
The other OF said, “I can still grow a tree.”
One OF had an answer for the rigs — turn them into condos. “I bet tons of people would love to live on the ocean,” he said, “and make the parts of the rigs that go down into the water apartments. I think that would be great to live in for a while, anyway, under the ocean. I bet it would be quiet at night.”
One OG who was familiar with diving said, “It is pretty quiet all the time under the water.”
The OFs wondered if the big oil companies have thought of this. These OFs are quite an entrepreneurial group.
The tree OF said, “I don’t care what they do; I can still grow a tree, and I do.”
“Not all people live in the woods like you, you OG,” an OF responded. “Millions live in the city and don’t even know what a tree is. Well, wind and solar isn’t going to handle that, if you want to cut out oil and coal, there is always nuclear, and I for one think that is the way to go, plus cars, trains, and trucks that run off magnetic strips powered by nuclear generators.”
Wildlife gone wild
Again, the abundance of wild life around this late summer was another topic. The hunters won’t have much hunting to do; it looks like the turkey and deer are going to be coming right up to nuzzle the muzzle of the gun.
Besides being abundant, the OFs think, they are almost tame. The OFs know many of the fifth- or sixth-generation of deer are road-wise.
Many of the OFs report seeing deer stop at the edge of the road and check for traffic in both directions before crossing. Watching a deer try to scurry across a paved road gives the appearance that the deer is on ice.
An OF wondered how much weight is on a deer hoof. They are small and sharp.
A Clydesdale horse has very large hoofs so per square inch that horse isn’t putting much pressure on the ground, but that deer must be placing all its weight on just a couple of square inches of ground — no wonder they skid all over the place on a paved road.
“Yeah,” an OF said, “a fat, beer-drinking, redneck with clod-hoppers on is putting less weight per square inch on the ground than some skinny broad in high heels.”
“Right,” was the reply. “Who would you want to step on your foot, a 300-pound man in size 14 work boots, or a 100-pound broomstick lass in six-inch heels?”
The OFs’ advice: Go for the 300-pound guy.
The OFs who made it to the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh via the normal means of transportation were: Bill Bartholomew, George Washburn, Steve Kelly, Harold Guest, Jim Heiser, Roger Shafer, Miner Stevens, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, John Rossmann, Robie Osterman, Dave Williams, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Don Woods, Henry Whipple, Ted Willsey, Bob Lassome, Rich Donnelly, Duane Wagonbaugh, Elwood Vanderbilt, Gill Zabel, Harold Grippen, Jim Rissacher, Mike Willsey, Bob Donnelly, and me.
Location:
Tuesday, Sept. 9, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville. Unfortunately, this scribe was not in attendance, and this scribe had a bona fide excuse. To break it down to its finer points: “Happy wife, happy life” and that is true.
This gives the scribe a chance to return to some of his notes taken at previous breakfasts and use a couple of items that did not make it to The Enterprise.
One entry was how important it is what we do now and what the OFs did when they were in the workforce. The conclusion the OFs came up with is that most of what everyone does is important and much of what we do directly affects many other people.
One OF said that just closing the door on your vehicle and starting out to go somewhere (to the store or across the country) is a job — an important job. Many people rely on how someone conducts himself behind the wheel, and it is not just the driver.
That thought is carried back to the people who design and build the car in the first place. If these designers don’t pay attention to what they are doing and install a wheel haphazardly, that wheel could come off and many could become hurt.
Take that further back to the company that made the wheel, and even further back to the company that made the steel, that made the wheel, and it is now apparent how important each one’s job is.
One OF mentioned how important the job of a mail carrier is, because at times — as his brother was delivering the mail — his brother would think of what each letter might mean. One could be a check that was so important to the recipient; another could be bringing news of an ill or elderly relative; one could be a simple wedding invitation, or birth announcement.
Good news, bad news, encouraging news, even the “junk mail” is interesting to someone. Also important to both (the one who was sending and the one who was receiving this mail) and the mailman’s job was to get it done and done right.
As one OF put it, “No matter what your job is, the thing is: Do the best you can, and don’t put yourself down because what is being done seems inconsequential.”
Another OG said, “Boy, that sounds corny, but, ya know, it is true.”
When it comes to speeding,
everyone breaks the law
One OF mentioned closing the door on a car, and this brought up a discussion on cars and speed limits; some others were wondering what speed limits are and do they really mean anything.
The OF said that the speed limit on Route 20 through Guilderland is 40 miles per hour.
“If I go 40,” the second OF said, “I’m in the way.”
Another OF chimed in, “Route 85 from the circle at Blessing Road, to I-90 is 55 miles per hour. Try that one at 55. I have to go 65 just to stay with the moderate traffic.”
A third OF said, “If you ask anyone if they have knowingly broken the law, I think most would say no, but they have — from cops, to priests, ministers, judges, politicians, doctors, lawyers, Indians, and such.”
This OF is willing to bet that they all knowingly break the law on a daily basis, just getting to and from work, and heaven help us if any one of them is in a hurry.
“Yeah,” one OF said, “but you and we all are in that category.”
“Another thing,” an OF added, “now that we are talking about all of this, one of us is bound to get a ticket; it will be just our luck.”
“That may be right, another OF said. “But you will get cited for not maintaining 30 miles an hour, you old poke.”
Conversely, an OF said he has been on the New York State Thruway about four times recently, running to Utica and back, and he finds that almost everyone, including trucks, are behaving themselves.
Only the occasional wise-a-- goes tearing by. Then again, the OF said that apparent wise-a-- may have a real emergency or a good promise and has a reason for pedal-to-the metal high-balling it down the highway.
Then more discussion ensued around certain routes where the OFs find they have a lot of tricky maneuvering. One road is I-90 from Exit 24 to the bridge at Route 787, which is another reason for prayer when getting on. That is a 55-mile-per-hour stretch, and 70 miles per hour seems to be the norm.
Then there is a scary section that requires no arthritis in the neck and that is negotiating the half-mile section from Route 20 to Wolf Road via the Northway.
One OF said, “That is why I shop local. To fight my way to Colonie Center or Crossgates is not worth the hassle.”
Ah — age takes all the fun out of many challenges.
This scribe does not know how the OFs got to Rensselaerville and the Hilltown Café. The scribe suspects all the drivers were cautious because the OFs who made it were: Dick Ogsbury, Karl Remmers, Bob Benac, Jack Benac, Roger Fairchild, Otis Lawyer, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Jack Norray, Lou Schenck, Ted Willsey, Duane Wagonbaugh, Joe Loubier, Rich Donnelly, Bob Lassome, Henry Whipple, Bill Rice, Jim Rissacher, George Washburn, John Rossmann, Robie Osterman, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Gerry Chartier (w/guests Mario Schnelder & Olga Ferr), Mike Willsey (with guest Amy Willsey), Harold Grippen, Elwood Vanderbilt, and not me.
Location:
On Sept. 2, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Home Front Café in Altamont, and the countdown to Christmas begins.
This scribe feels safe in assuming that these words are being read because the reader is reading The Enterprise. The OFs discussed reading and learning to read. None of the OFs at the scribe’s end of the table remember learning to read.
The mental process was not something the OFs could bring back. This scribe is in the same boat. When did any of the OFs realize they were reading, and when did it become a routine in the thought process?
We did have one OF say he remembered learning to read because, on the farm where he was raised, there were no books. The occasional newspaper did come to the house — but no books.
This OF definitely learned to speak because he does talk, and he learned to talk before he attended school. The OF said he did not learn to read until he went to school in the first grade, but did he realize he was reading after doing a few things by rote? When did it sink in, “Golly, I am reading?”
Some OFs are still voracious readers; some read occasionally, some read magazines, some read trade journals, some read the comics; however, none of the OFs seem to read instructions.
This scribe did think of this conversation later on when he was in a small group outside the OFs with younger people (and that is not hard being an OF) and asked the question based on the OFs’ discussion.
No one there actually could remember when they realized they were reading. Again, one had a mental association of learning to read along with another person, but picking up something and realizing they were reading did not sink in. As the OFs suggested, we can all thank a teacher even if that teacher in some cases was a parent.
Tough skins
and sweet corn
The OFs do not know how prevalent this is, but those who have gardens and who are beginning to partake of their labors in the form of harvesting what was planted have noticed how tough the skins on some of the vegetables are this year. Some of the OFs said that the skins on their tomatoes took a chainsaw to cut through and get started.
On some of the squash, the skins were so thick and tough that, to have fried squash, the vegetable had to be parboiled first in order to cut it in slices for frying, and then all that was edible was the center.
One OF said he had only one apple on the tree, so he and his wife would have to share it. This is just that one OF though, because driving by Indian Ladder Farms, we see many apples on the trees. Maybe it is the elevation of Hilltowns that causes problems.
All the OFs know is that Whipple’s corn is so sweet that sugar runs down the OFs’ arms with the butter when eating it, so some of the vegetables are turning out OK.
Eating better than kings
One OF said that rich people, and kings and queens don’t know how to eat. They eat fancy food, where all you get to eat will barely cover a fork.
They should come to the Hilltowns and get a couple of juicy, red hamburgers from the grill, a couple of ears of good sweet corn, and hot apple pie with some vanilla ice cream, or a piece of cheese, along with a good cold Bud, and heaven can’t be too far from that.
Pheasant under glass with truffles, two small pieces of celery, and half a carrot stick, with an olive or two and a glass of fancy champagne is what the devil serves up.
One OF said, “Just picture the aroma of both meals wafting through the air — that bird doesn’t stand a chance against the air filled with smoke from the grill, with hamburgers or chicken, or hot dogs or kielbasa flavors mixed in.”
The OFs have spoken.
Insights from joints
When the OFs were not so old, many of them pooh-poohed the idea of various joints of the body being able to predict the weather. Now that the OFs are OFs they have found that this is true.
Many of the OFs say their bodies are better forecasters of the weather than a meteorologist. One OF said that he can predict almost two days in advance of what the weather is going to be like just by the degree of his joint pain, and in some cases not much pain at all indicates nice, dry weather.
No pain, the OF said, will mean he is dead.
One OF said he thinks this idea still is a lot of hogwash because his joints hurt all the time. Another said he has so much metal he can only really tell the temperature. If it is really cold, he thinks some of the metal he has in him has frost on it.
One OF offered the suggestion that, when it becomes cold, the OF should drink some good old-fashioned hot toddies. They’ll warm you up on the inside and get those steel rods warm too and the frost won’t form.
Old school
Many of the OFs attend plays and concerts that their grandkids are in, and they marvel at the new schools. The schools the OFs went to are a far cry from what schools are today.
The OFs were relating stories of their school days when there were four or five classes in one room, and one teacher taught all. Kids showed up for school on horseback and even tractors.
Some kids even had a job that required them to get to school early in the winter months because they had to get the fire going for the one-room schoolhouse. Yet most of the Industrial Revolution, and the basis for some of the technology of today, was developed by OFs who received their early education from schools like this.
Yes, the OFs even learned to read, spell, and cipher.
Those OFs who made it to the Home Front Café in Altamont, and who did not arrive on horseback or drive their tractors to the restaurant, were: Robie Osterman, Miner Stevens, George Washburn, Karl Remmers, Dick Ogsbury, Henry Witt, Roger Chapman, Art Frament, Bob Benac with guest Jack Benac, John Rossmann, Frank Pauli, Roger Shafer, Steve Kelly, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Harold Guest, Mark Traver, Chuck Aleseio, Otis Lawyer, Glenn Patterson, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Lou Schenck, Joe Loubier, Duane Wagonbaugh, Bob Lassome, Ted Willsey, Rich Donnelly, Andy Tinning, Carl Walls, Bill Krause, Jim Rissacher, Henry Whipple, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, Dick Vanderbilt, and me.
Location:
Many of the older gents of the Hilltowns and their environs look forward to one particular day of the week. This day is looked forward to by many of the ladies of the Hilltowns and their environs also. The day is Tuesday! The older gents, now known as OFs, look forward to Tuesday because that is the day they get out of the house and the ladies are glad they are gone.
So this Tuesday, Aug. 26, the Old Men of The Mountain met at the Chuck Wagon Diner in Princetown. The diner is right on Route 20 where Giffords Church Road runs into Route 20 at Princetown.
The OFs remember when Route 20 was the east-west road, prior to the Thruway being built. There was a time after the Thruway was built that Route 20 had only the occasional local car or truck on it, and was like a back-country road, but now it seems to be making a comeback with more travel being noticed, and with much of the traffic being travelers and not locals.
The buzz on bees and frogs
This column has mentioned many times what a wet spring and summer this has been, and how few bees the OFs have seen. Some of the OFs that have grape arbors say that there is nary a grape on any of their vines.
One OF mentioned that it is not only the cultivated grapes but the pesky wild grapes (the Hilltowns equivalent to kudzu) that have no grapes. The OFs say it is the lack of bees and no pollination, except one OF explained these grapes were not stressed out so the plant wasn’t worried about reproducing. (There is always one with that different view.)
In contrast to the lack of grapes, was the abundance of the tree frogs. Those little critters are all over the place.
One OF says that, when he is on his tractor mowing the lawn, he is now scouring the grass ahead of the mower looking for these small frogs hopping in the grass so he doesn’t run over them with the mower. This OF says these frogs like mosquitoes, and mosquito larva, so he wants them around.
Another OF answered, “Yeah, but these frogs are food for snakes,” and this OF doesn’t want any snakes around.
Then another said, “Yeah, you do, because not only are frogs on the snake’s plate, but so are mice and moles. I would rather have the frogs for snakes, and the snakes for controlling the mice. Snakes don’t carry diseases or ticks and other nasty things; they are quiet, and do not eat the wiring in the house that can cause a fire. Give me a snake any day; keep those frogs coming.”
Learning patience
This scribe does not know how to approach this next topic, but it is interesting.
This was not any of the OFs making wise remarks to the waitress in any way, but in the normal routine of refreshing the coffee, some of the OFs, without looking at the waitress (or even breaking a sentence, if speaking), would say, “Thank you,” or “Thank you ma’am,” or “Thank you, young lady,” to which one OF picked up and said, “Right — the lady part for you must be a few years away.”
To which the waitress just answered as she kept pouring coffee, “Not too many” and kept right on going.
This simple exchange of routine banter led to a discussion on how far back in time would a particular OF want to go if he could go back. Would he go back to 40, 50, 18 years of age?
This scribe was surprised at the answer. None of them wanted to really go back although some said maybe go back to when they were 50 or so.
One OF said that, except for the aches and pains, and the doctor visits, he likes the age he is now. This OF said, if he could go back, it would be maybe to 50 or 60 years old but he would like to know what he knows now.
This OF said what he did maybe even prior to 50 was the “git 'er-dun” approach. Now the OF has learned to be patient and do things right. The OF said he now knows he is not the only one on the planet and there are tons of really deserving, and needy people out there.
This OF has learned to see and listen and it means a lot to him. The other OFs nodded in agreement but didn’t say much.
Envying Dr. Dolittle
The OFs discussed how they are surprised by animals — ducks, fish, birds, dogs, etc. — and what they can do, and it all seems to be natural, to the animal anyway. The OF mentioned fish coming out of the water to feed — these were not weird, exotic fish but regular carp.
The occasional left-handed duck, and birds that eventually realize they are not going to be hurt and can almost be touched. Skunks that adopt a house and hang around for a long time, years even, and leave no smell. The OFs wondered why a few animals have these seemingly unnatural quirks, but most animals don’t.
Wouldn’t it be great if we could be like Dr. Dolittle, and talk to the animals? The OFs think, in many cases we do, and are not smart enough to know we are doing it.
The OFs were eating in a diner, the Chuck Wagon Diner, so the OFs began to discuss restaurant food and hot coffee. The OFs have a round robin of restaurants that are in the gun sights of the OFs. We do this to spread the wealth (yeah, right).
Let’s say that in all the restaurants on a Tuesday the OF would order French toast. One would expect the French toast to be basically the same — well it is not. Each restaurant is different. French toast at A is completely different than French toast at B.
Coffee at restaurant A is completely different than restaurant B, and A’s coffee might be so hot it is necessary to let it cool down before drinking, and B’s coffee may be drinkable right away. One OF said his theory on this is that the cup (and not the coffee) determines how hot or tepid it will be. It looks like the coffee is made on the same machine. Just like a home, each restaurant has its own aroma; most are inviting.
Oats are oats. How can oatmeal taste different in so many different places? Not that the OFs are connoisseurs or anything like that.
The OFs do not sniff the wine and comment on how delicate it is. Most OFs think the wine out of a cardboard box is great stuff but they do wonder at times how the same thing can be so different.
Back to the French toast: An OF said some restaurants take a couple of slices of regular bread, slap it in some batter, throw it on the grill, then put it on a cold plate and serve it, while others take the thicker bread, place it in the batter, put it on the grill, add a little cinnamon, place it on a warm plate, sprinkle a little powdered sugar on top, some even add a little garnish, then serve it. The funny part is that both places charge about the same.
One OF said everything is like the guys who come to clean your furnace. One is covered in oil with old oil-covered work shoes, while the other comes and is clean, puts on plastic shoe covers at the door and then goes about his business, and both charge about the same.
An OF said, “Yep, one cares about what he is doing, and to the others it is just a job.
“It is true in anything,” the OF went on. “From your mechanic, to the doctor that has to chase the cat off the examining table.”
Those Old Men of the Mountain that were at the Chuck Wagon Diner in Princetown and did not have to chase any cats off the table were: George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Roger Shafer, Roger Chapman, Karl Remmers, Dick Ogsbury, Andy Tinning, Henry Witt, Art Frament, Bob Benac, Roger Fairchild, Herb Sawotka, Otis Lawyer, Mark Traver, John Rossmann, Frank Pauli, Harold Guest, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Duncan Bellinger, Duane Wagenbaugh, Rich Donnelly, Joe Loubier, Jim Rissacher, Mike Willsey, Harold Grippen, Elwood Vanderbilt, Gill Zabel, Gerry Chartier (with guests who were not frightened the last time and will be headed back home, Olga Zeir, and Mario Schneider,) and me
Location:
At our routine Tuesday morning breakfast, we gathered at the Duanesburg Diner, in Duanesburg. For most of us, the ride over to Duanesburg was like an early fall morning; the air was crisp and clear with areas of patchy fog. Some of the OFs said they could see their breath around 5:30 to 6 a.m., and it is August.
This made for breakfast chat of bringing in wood, and telling ways of keeping warm for the winter. One OF said he was going to get another dog. There may be a three-dog night coming up soon. To the OFs, it is too early, yet some said it is never too early to prepare for winter. To some OFs, that is not a cheery thought.
A few of the OFs heard the late summer locusts singing, but they thought these little bugs are in for a surprise if it stays like this in the weather department. How would we start conversations if it weren’t for the weather?
Money matters
The OFs had a brief discussion on money and how much of it is really around. This was brought about by how much money the wife of a Russian billionaire recently received in her divorce settlement. Either she had a darn good attorney, or her ex-spouse really wanted to get rid of her.
Her settlement was reported to be 4.5 billion (that is billion with a B) American dollars. There must have been a conversion for American readers because rubles were not mentioned.
The OFs maintained they are satisfied when they have enough to pay for breakfast, leave a tip, and buy gas to get back and forth from the restaurant. The OFs brought up how much money the United Arab Emirates have and, with the most populous city of Dubai in the emirate, how much money they control.
One OF said that, if you want to have your house on an island, and you are a big shot in Dubai, all you do is pump in sand and make your own island and go ahead and build your house on it. (On Christ, the solid rock, I stand. All other ground is sinking sand.) Hmm.
Those Arabs that control Abu Dubai are not dumb; they have set themselves up pretty good, one OF said, because, when the oil runs out, the Dubai operatives will be able to control the high-tech plants, like Global Foundries, which is fully owned by the Abu Dhabi government. The OFs know about that company because of this company’s involvement in the Capital District.
Old days and old ways
Depending on where this scribe plops his butt, the conversation basically gravitates to the interest of the people in that group: hiking, conservation, work projects, farming, farm equipment, old times (that includes most all the OFs), and travel are among the most frequent, general topics for discussion.
This week, the banter encompassed old times, farming, and old equipment all in one. This happens a lot.
There are some OFs who collect items that will not fit in their living room, i.e., old farm tractors, and equipment. The OFs were discussing what they have, and what process some of the OFs are in of negotiating for some old tractors.
These tractors are vintage machines from the 1920s or so. Included in the conversation was who has what old oil can and who has the most oil cans, and who has the oldest oil cans.
The OFs discussed oil, particularly GLF (Grange League Federation) oil. Two OFs said they own some of these cans. GLF is a farming cooperative, and these cans were from the Petroleum Division of the Cooperative GLF Exchange Inc. in Ithaca, New York.
Many oil containers way back when, were not in cans, but glass bottles and it is a miracle that any of this type of container survived yet they are all over the place with their pour spouts still intact.
When listening to these OFs talking and paying attention to what they are doing now — collecting, maintaining, and restoring — part of our agricultural history makes these OFs accidental historians. These OFs could tell book-type historians what past possessions were really like.
Some of the OFs’ homes are like museums for what they have collected and saved from the dump or scrapyard. It is not only large agricultural equipment collected or restored by the OFs but cars and boats should also be included in the large-collected-items category. Ah, and then there are the smalls — that is another story.
It has been brought up from time to time whether the OFs are hoarders or collectors. There is one big difference: Hoarders just pile junk upon junk and have no idea what it is or what they are going to do with it. The OFs are collector-restorers.
They purchase with a specific purpose in mind like spare parts, or restoration, or they might even disassemble for needed parts at a swap meet. Thank goodness for us OFs — we are of the pre-throw-away culture.
The OFs motto is: Build it to last, not build it with timers installed that make whatever it is quit in a prescribed length of time so it is necessary to go and purchase a new one of whatever. The OFs have spoken (for now anyway). There is another way to look at building something to last.
The OFs who attended the breakfast at the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg (and none showed up in a Duesenberg) were: Roger Chapman, Dick Ogsbury, Karl Remmers, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Roger Shafer, Steve Kelly, Art Frament, Herb Sawotka, Bob Benac, Roger Fairchild, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, John Rossmann, Frank Pauli, Harold Guest, Mark Traver and guest Tanner Spohn, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Lou Schenck, Ted Willsey, Bob Lassome, Joe Loubier, Rich Donnelly, Bill Krause, Duncan Bellinger, Andy Tinning, Duane Wagonbaugh, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Elwood Vanderbilt, Gill Zabel, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
On Tuesday, Aug. 12, The Old Men of the Mountain met at the restaurant they were supposed to be at. The restaurant used to be the Alley Cat, then the Blue Star, and now (if this scribe has the correct spelling) it is The Scho-Co Diner. The “Scho” stands for Schoharie, and the “Co” stands for county. The way the pronunciation sounded to the OFs was “Sko-Co” which does have a particular ring to it, but will take some getting used to.
To most of the OFs, the only changes were physical. The “pinkish-red” became “yellow” on the interior, and on the walls hung a collection of very nice photographs. That was about it; the food was plentiful, and good, so that didn’t change and neither did the phone number.
Middle East a big mess
The OFs at one table were talking about the skirmishes, or wars, which have been ongoing in the Middle East. Among the splinter groups were the Jews, and the Palestinians, the Kurds, and the Shiites, Al-Qaida, ISIS, or the Taliban (whatever that group is calling itself now) along with others who have become innocently involved.
The OFs can’t quite figure out what is going on — only that it is one great big mess. One OF said that this battle has been going on among these different factions for centuries and that OF sees no end.
Creatures great and small
The OFs were also talking about Shark Week that is currently on TV. Some of the OFs seem fascinated by it.
Some OFs are just as fascinated by what is in the ocean as the water itself. What is swimming around in the oceans?
Many OFs say they have no idea of what some of it may be, from microscopic to monsters. One OF conjectured that our fascination with water might be that it is from conception, and during the first nine months of our lives we live in a sack of water.
Some of the largest creatures now on the planet are sharks and whales. The OFs included whales with their discussions on sharks. Only a few of the OFs have seen sharks in the wild, but many have seen the docile whale on whale watches, and sometimes whales are spotted just by accident from land and from cruise ships.
One OF wondered if we ever had the senses that some of these creatures have, i.e., if all the research is valid. Man is so puny, so how did we get the upper hand? It really could be the Planet of the Apes if survival were based on just size.
One OF said size doesn’t matter, and neither do brains; rather, it is organization and numbers. If a couple of million ants take on a human being, the human — though a hundred times larger than a single ant — doesn’t stand a chance.
Full-moon romance?
The OFs discussed more science Tuesday morning. The next topic was the moon and its closeness to the Earth a few days ago.
The OFs wondered if there will be any increase in babies being born nine months from now because of this super full moon. Some OFs said they had kids born on full moons.
One OF mentioned that one of his kids was born on a full moon and was covered in a fine hair. Wolfman, where are you?
None of the OFs noticed any unusual animal behavior, or anything out of the ordinary with the super moon that just occurred. An OF mentioned there are so many made-up names nowadays that he is surprised there wasn’t a kid named “Perigee” in the paper.
Digital dilemma
On many occasions, the OFs talk about birding, and the birds they see. One OF swears he spotted a golden eagle. He says he put the binoculars on the bird and still maintains it was a golden eagle.
The OF was asked if he got a picture of it and he said that all he had was his little camera with him, and by that the OF meant digital and that camera at long distances seemed to be “shaky.” The OF said his “big” camera was back at the house (meaning the type of camera that used regular film and one he could put a long lens on). With that big camera, the OF said he has some beautiful nature shots.
The OFs said these new cameras on computers and in phones, and the cameras no bigger than a pack of cigarettes, are only meant for taking these new photos called “selfies” and not for taking real pictures.
One OF mentioned how slow the digital cameras are compared to the film-type camera. By the time the OF pushes all the buttons to get the digital going, what he wanted to take a picture of is gone.
To show how hip the OFs are (not) the OFs wondered if you can still get film for these older cameras. There was not a real “for sure” uttered by many of the OFs, just some “I don’t know”s to “I think so”s tossed around. The answer is yes, and the cameras are also still available.
They also make some large digital cameras with interchangeable lenses that are very good. This scribe thinks that information collected by a bunch of numbers recorded on a disk can be more lasting than an image recorded by light on a chemical film.
Those who attended the breakfast at the Scho-Co Diner in Schoharie and were there as actual people and not a bunch of numbers (then again, maybe that is what we are, maybe everything is just a bunch of numbers) were: Art Frament, Bob Benac, Roger Fairchild, Herb Swabota, Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Dave Williams, Steve Kelly, Roger Shafer, Bill Bartholomew, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Jim Heiser, Chuck Aleseio, Frank Pauli, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Karl Remmers, Dick Ogsbury, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Duncan Bellinger, Bill Krause, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Don Wood, Duane Wagenbaugh, Harold Grippen, Ted Willsey, Bob Lassome, Rich Donnelly, Joe Loubier, Elwood Vanderbilt, Gill Zabel, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, and me.
Location:
On Aug. 5, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Country Café in Schoharie. This scribe has to tell a tale of a whopping mistake he made. One simple little job that this scribe has is to call the restaurants a day ahead to warn them of the attacks of the OFs. This is so the restaurant under attack can have enough ammunition to take care of the OFs’ assault, with weapons like eggs, pancake batter, and rolls for breakfast sandwiches.
Monday, Aug. 4, the scribe called the Blue Star restaurant and told them the OFs would be there. Wrong. The OFs were going to be at the Country Café.
This was not realized until Tuesday morning, so this scribe did not shave, charged out and hit the road before six. This scribe reached the Blue Star and it was locked but there was someone inside who opened the door and this scribe explained what happened and the girl was very nice, and said, “No problem.”
Now comes the tough part — getting to the Country Café and letting them know they were about to be taken over by the OFs, and the restaurant would probably not be prepared. This scribe found two surprises.
Even though it was super early, there was one OF going into the Country Café just as the waitress was unlocking the door. The girl was very pleasant and told this scribe not to worry; they already knew the attack was coming.
It seems one of the OFs had eaten a meal there a few days before and told them they were the next one in the barrel. This generated a great big “phew” by this scribe. The Lord does take care of us even in small ways.
All the restaurants in the OFs’ round robin of eating establishments have great people, even if they are dealing with a bunch of OFs, and these OFs can wear purple you know!
The case of
the lost keys
Last week, at Mrs. K’s in Middleburgh, one OF was going around trying to find out which one of the OGs left his keys there. He had the keys (which belonged to a Buick) and along with the keys was a pocketknife that did everything but take the can off the shelf.
Only one of the OFs has a Buick, so a couple of his friends thought they would be able to identify the owner of these keys. When that OF showed up, the guesser OFs were right. They knew who the owner of the keys was and somehow the OF had left them at the previous restaurant.
Tuesday morning at the Country Café, the OF who had the other OF’s keys said that he received a phone call about one o’clock last Tuesday, July 29, that this same OF left his keys again at Mrs. Ks.
The OFs began to suspect that the leaving of the keys was an excuse to get out again to trot back to the restaurant. Some of the OFs are considering using this ploy to get out of the house. Not a bad strategy to skip out of yard work or house work, but, as one OF put it, the key ruse can only be used two or three times or it becomes too obvious. If it happens too often, the wife will have the OF packed off for a dementia test, or at least hire a private detective to follow the OG.
Some cars today do not need keys — they unlock the doors by voice command, and the ignition is opened with a password, and then all that is required is to push a button and vroom, the car starts.
Well, how about remote control starting of vehicles that have been around for a long time?
“Nah,” an OF said. “It is possible to lose that control too.”
Another OF said that he has trouble remembering passwords, and, for him to remember the combination to the door, and then the password to start the dumb car, it wouldn’t be long before he couldn’t get in it, and then, if he did, he couldn’t start it.
“That is too much to ask of my pea-pickin’ brain,” the OF said. “Give me the chance to advance the throttle, set the spark, and spin the crank.”
With that statement, the OF said he would be all set.
The perils of
parallel parking
Parallel parking! Now there is something many of the OFs try not to do.
The OFs remember (when they were working on their farms) parking anything going backwards and parking four-wheel wagons, at times were a challenge, especially when the hay mow was over the stable and it was necessary to back a wagon full of hay over a barn bridge.
But parallel parking was not on the list. The OFs managed to parallel park to get their drivers’ licenses; however, using it afterwards was something many of the OFs avoided, although it must be added some of the OFs can parallel park as well as anyone.
One OF mentioned it was the turning of his neck that prevents him from parallel parking. It is his d--- arthritis. The OF said he will drive around until he can find a space he can drive into.
Another OF said that having to parallel park is what killed the city downtowns. Malls have parking lots where just driving into a slot is all that is necessary, and, the OF said, if it is planned right, quite often pulling through into the facing slot is great if no car is there, then backing up to leave isn’t even a problem, just drive right on out.
Oh — the planning and thinking the OFs have to do just to go out for an ice cream.
Those OFs who made it to the Country Café in Schoharie, and being taken care of royally because an OF happened to eat there earlier and forewarn the café of the attack were: Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Glenn Patterson, Otis Lawyer, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Jim Heiser, Chuck Aleseio, Bob Benac, Art Frament, Herb Swabota, Jay Taylor, Roger Fairchild, Roger Shafer, Bill Krause, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Lou Schenck, Bob Lassome, Joe Loubier, Ted Willsey, Duane Wagenbaugh, Rich Donnelly, and me.
Location:
Tuesdays in the summer of 2014 are rolling on by. This Tuesday, July 29, the Old Men of the Mountain met at Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh, and the group was one of the largest collections of OFs to date.
The OFs arrived in all their summer finery, this after managing to get dressed. The OFs quite often comment on how much effort it takes at times to perform this major task of the day. However, it beats running around naked all day and using all that sun block.
One OF mentioned that he was able to put on his socks this morning standing up and not having to sit down. Then a second OF added that he considers it a good start to the day if he can put on his shorts standing up and not falling over.
Sometimes, the OF said, he stands there looking at this part of his underwear and considers the challenge of standing and getting those things on. The number-one challenge is to be able to bend over far enough and lift his leg high enough to even get started. The number-two challenge is if the OF can get that far and not hook his toes in the yard of material which has now fallen halfway down and he has to perform the one-legged dance to keep from falling over. Not passing this challenge causes the OF to give in and sit down.
The conversation drifted into how many of the OFs say they have two different bodies. One OF demonstrated how he can reach his left arm quite far up his back, and the right arm not so much. The OF said it just won’t go.
Others joined in with different appendages being able to, or not able to, do the same thing the other one does. One OF mentioned, as far as sensations go, he is divided in half. The OF said that, if he puts his keys in his right back pocket and he sits down, it is like the princess and the pea. If he takes the keys out of right pocket and puts them in the left and sits down the OF said he doesn’t even know they are there. The OF continued that he can’t carry anything in his right back pocket.
Then the OFs started on eyes and ears; this narrative included many of the OFs. Some can see well out of one eye and the other one not so much. Some
OFs have to turn their head to listen to conversations so their good ear can pick them up. One OF said he can open a bottle with his left hand but not his right. This OF said he just does not have the strength in his right hand to open the jars and bottles yet the OF said he is right handed. Hmm.
The OFs concluded we must be made in halves not wholes.
Keep your Nose clean
Most steady readers of the OMOTM column know that some of the OFs maintain and blaze hiking trails. Part of this group maintains the trail that goes to the top of Vroman’s Nose in the town of Fulton just outside of Middleburgh, on Route 30 (can be googled — just type in Vroman’s Nose.)
The OFs were talking about how much work they do to make the plateau at the top of the Nose a scenic and attractive area, and how much of this work winds up being ruined. They have built benches for seniors to rest on once they’ve made the climb to enjoy the view. These benches have all been thrown over the cliff at one time or another.
They have put up fireplaces so fires would not be started on the fragile shale on top; these, too, have found their way to the bottom of the cliff, and bonfires have started on the shale, which, in the end, shatters it.
One OF took the time and effort to build benches around a tree so people could sit in the shade after the climb. The tree was cut down, and the benches, you guessed it, found their way off the cliff.
The OFs clean the base of the cliff at least once a year from all this debris and even find empty beer half-kegs. Everything they have tried to do to make the top decent is ultimately destroyed.
The OFs ask, “What does this say about the people who come up and their respect for anything?”
The OFs tried to remember what they did when they were young bucks. Nothing of this magnitude came to mind.
Then, again, turning over outhouses and hornings might apply, but none could remember behaving with the vandalism they were talking about at the Nose.
Then one OF asked, “Do bar brawls count?”
Another OF answered, “Not unless (in the process of the brawl) we happened to throw the bar itself out into the parking lot.”
Those Old Men of the Mountain making it to Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh and not starting any brawls while there, were: Carl Walls, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Miner Stevens, Karl Remmers, John Rossmann, Duncan Bellinger, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Otis Lawyer, Jim Heiser, Frank Pauli, Dick Ogsbury, Dave Williams, Art Williams, Bill Bartholomew, Harold Guest, Roger Chapman, Jay Taylor, Bob Benac, Herb Swabota, Roger Fairchild, Bill Krause, Don Wood, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Rich Donnelly, Bob Lassome, Duane Wagenbaugh, Joe Loubier, Art Frament, Chuck Aleseio, Bob Donnelly (and his distaff side to check out that there really is a group called the OMOTM), Harold Grippen, Elwood Vanderbilt, Gill Zabel, Ted Willsey (who brought another young lady to keep tabs on him), Mike Willsey, and Gerry Chartier.
Gerry brought one student from Germany — Olga Zerr, a Berne-Knox-Westerlo exchange student and Mario Schneider; however, their timing was a little late and most of the OFs had gone. This may have been a good thing for the young people from Germany — they only had to deal with a handful of OFs; who knows what they would have thought if they had encountered the whole group. And me.