Tales of new teeth, lost cars, and stuck trucks

This scribe is beginning to wonder how many times he can write where and when the Old Men of the Mountain meet. It has always been on Tuesday, but where varies, and also comes and goes.

This past week, it was the Your Way Café in Schoharie. With some of the OMOTM, “your” way can mean just that — which turns out to mean “my” way. So on Tuesday, Nov. 26, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Your Way Café in Schoharie.

The next item is strange — but true. Two of the OMOTM had all their teeth extracted and new ones installed at the same time. Their conversation over many weeks has been basically the same: “Have your teeth come in yet?”

For many of those weeks, the answer was no. Lo and behold, within a couple of weeks, they both got their teeth. At the breakfast Tuesday morning, the usual discussion was replaced with, “How are you making out with your teeth?”

This question followed a conversation on what were the best kinds of pies to eat because one of the OFs ordered blackberry pie with whipped cream as a dessert for breakfast. The OFs then started talking about berry pies, seeds, and teeth.

One OF with the new teeth said that seeds don’t bother him since his teeth fit really tight. So tight, in fact, that at times he has trouble getting them out.

A third OF sitting next to him (who also has installed teeth) told him to put some water in his mouth and they will come out easily. This third OF said he needs duct tape to keep his teeth in.

Problems with GPS

Another OF talked about a huge Schneider tractor trailer stopped along side of the road just past the circle at Price Chopper in Slingerlands and the post office, heading south on Route 85. If anyone knows this area, he knows there is a bridge just down Route 85 and it is low

Backing this rig up at this circle and getting his rig onto Cherry Avenue, in Delmar, then Kenwood, then back into New Scotland was going to take a few cops. This circle does not lack for traffic.

One OF said this particular truck must be following GPS (Global Positioning System). This OF said there are two things with GPS. Those things don’t tell you about low bridges, or sharp turns that big rigs can’t navigate.

The other problem with GPS is that it’s necessary to know how to spell. If anyone is a lousy speller there is no telling where he is going to wind up.

One OF piped up that even fold-out road maps didn’t give you information on low bridges and sharp turns and, if you can’t spell with a regular road map, finding where you’re heading may be impossible.

This segued into discussion on how there should be some kind of GPS that tracks you and your car and guides you to your car in a parking lot or garage. The OFs started telling stories about losing their cars in parking lots. This scribe is beginning to assume this is a routine problem with everybody — young or old.

Mall mysteries

Most of the tales told on Tuesday morning were about going in one door and coming out another door of large malls, then wandering all over, looking for the car in the wrong parking lot. One OF said he and his wife did this at a mall.

They did what the OFs were talking about, in one door and out another. The OF said they went up and down each aisle and, seeing no car, they finally decided to go to security and report the car stolen. The OF said, “Not until we pulled the door open to go back into the mall did we realize this was not the door we came in.”

Another OF said they (he and his wife) were in the same position, wandering all over to look for their car. The OF said he was just about at the end of his rope and beginning to panic when a stranger asked them, “Are you guys in trouble?”

The OF said to him, “Yes, we can’t find our car.” The fellow asked him, “What kind of car is it?” and said he would help them find it.

The OF described the car to him, and the helpful stranger said, “Oh that car! That gray Saturn is right over there.”

“Sure enough,” the OF said, “There it was.” The guy pointed right to it.

It is getting so that the OFs should notify their next of kin when they are going to be in large parking lots. Just in case.

Natural foods lead to long lives

The OFs began talking about diets, and how many are on diets because their doctors told them to go on them. It was gathered that these are not fad diets but diets geared to specific problems.

All of the diets seemed to make sense, and as these diets were discussed it was found the diets all had something in common. Apparently certain foods are not too good for anyone, but maybe a little bit might be permitted once in awhile.

Salt was one of the biggies, and breads and pastas were another. French fries with salt? That was a no-no.

It was found that many of the foods are well known that should not be eaten, but they are the ones that are so good. Looking up and down the table made it clear that most of the OFs were eating stuff that is on the bad list.

One OF mentioned, “Hey, I am 85 years old; I am going to eat what I want.”

This is true. The OFs got to be OFs by doing what they did all their lives in the way of exercise and eating. Maybe we should write our own book on how we got to where we are.

One OF thought it was because we ate what we ate when were 5 years old to our teen years and most of it was natural. All the chemicals that are found in food now were not around when we were growing up so we got a good start.

Maybe we should all forget what not to eat and go back to natural foods without all the additives. There was a big “Hear! Hear!” to that.

Those OFs who made it to the Your Way Café in Schoharie and ate what they wanted, whether it was healthy or not, were: Robie Osterman, Roger Shafer, Rick LaGrange, George Washburn, Miner Stevens, Bill Lichliter, Harold Guest, Bill Rice, Wally Guest, Chuck Aelesio, Glenn Patterson, Joe Rack, Ken Parks, Jim Heiser, Otis Lawyer, Lou Schenk, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Herb Bahrmann, Rev. Jay Francis, Mike Willsey, Warren Willsey, Henry Whipple, John Dabrvalskas, Jim Rissacher, Marty Herzog, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.