When will the saints come marching in?

Oct. 31, All Saints Day 2017, was a Tuesday, and as the scribe looked around at the Old Men of the Mountain in Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh, this scribe was hardpressed to find any saints.

There were many people there this scribe knew, but as for being saints — this scribe doesn’t think so. There may have been some saints in the form of other patrons in the room but this scribe is not even sure about that. Then again, they all may be saints. Who is this scribe to judge who is a saint and who is not?

Unwanted furniture heaven

Most people run into this following dilemma every now and then. That is trying to remove a large item from the house that no one wants, and it is too large, or heavy, or won’t go through the doorway to get it out of the house.

A couple of OFs have, and have had this problem. One OF had a player piano that was falling apart, and did not work at all. The rolls were all chewed up by squirrels and mice. The instrument was in such bad shape, it wouldn’t even make a good piece of furniture if the guts were removed and shelves were put inside it to turn it into a conversation piece, as well as another place to store chotskies.  

The OF managed to shove the piano to the patio doors because it was on wheels that really did not want to roll. With a little OF persuasion, the OF made it. The OF thought it was almost like the piano knew what was going to happen — that is why it refused to roll.

Lastly, he tied a rope around the piano and pulled it out with his tractor and the piano immediately broke into pieces when it hit the ground. The OF said eventually it made a nice bonfire.

The other OF has a pool table that no one wants. This is current; the table is resting in his heated basement as the column is being typed.

This OF asked at the breakfast if anyone wanted the table. He said it weighs about 800 pounds and has a felt-covered slate top. He also said it should be taken apart to move; otherwise it is going to meet the piano in the same way that the piano met its demise in the unwanted furniture heaven.

This OF is currently waiting to see if he has any takers on his offer. Anybody want a pool table?  

Gone like the Dodo

The OFs next discussed the Corvair automobile. One OF had owned one and he said it was a great vehicle. The OFs started a discussion on the design of the car and said that the addition of some sort of sway bar would prevent the propensity of the vehicle to roll over.

Another OF said the vehicle had another problem — the motor mounts would rot off and the engine would fall out. That is another whoop, but it seemed to other OFs that both problems would have been easy fixes.

Sadly, the Corvair is no longer around like many other car models and manufacturers. One OF said, “In a few years, people are going to say a Chevy, or Ford, or even a Chrysler will all be gone like the Dodo bird.”

Many of the OFs mentioned cars that they really liked and would like to have back. One OF said, “It isn’t only cars — it can be shoes, hats, jackets, and lots of other things.”

A second OF said, “Yeah, how about old girlfriends?”

“Thin ice,” some OF shouted!

Speaking of old things, the OFs thought the reason we wanted old things back is because they were made better. One of the reasons the OFs think that way is because they (whoever they are) are using plastic instead of metal where metal should be used.

Plastic is OK, one OF thought, but not in all circumstances.

Another OF offered some sage advice: “We are around to see that cars, trucks, tractors, planes, old tools, and appliances, made in the ’30s and ’40s are still around and functioning, but will we be around when something made in the years of 2000 to 2017 will be around 70 years later?”

“I think not,” the OF said.

Yet another OF added that some of the junk built today that is supposed to last that long craps out in five years.

At that rate, there isn’t going to be anything to check on in 70 years. The technology of today wasn’t around in the ’40s, and ’50s. Many of the components connected with this new equipment could last 100 years. However, we will never know because the technology behind this manufacturing changes from day to day and makes the products obsolete from day to day.

How are we going to tell how long these items will last when their usefulness lasts such a short period of time?

Costs go ever upward

As usual, the OFs talked about the cost of living now and back in the day when jeans were five bucks. This time, it was on the expected power hikes, and the projected increase in Social Security.

It was thought by the OFs that the Social Security increase was going to be about 2 percent. Then, the OFs think, there is going to be an increase by some government agency to negate that 2 percent. It always does.

One OF thought that the timing of the power hike and the Social Security increase is no coincidence. This scribe did a little research, (darn little) but interesting.

There are about 61 million people on Social Security. Using a figure of $1,000 at 2 percent is twenty bucks. Multiply that by 61 million and you have a whopping number coming out of the treasury.

Those OFs who made it to Mrs. K’s Restaurant in the heart of downtown Middleburgh, and using the proposed Social Security increase to purchase half a tank of gas to get there, were: Harold Guest, Bill Lichliter, Roger Chapman, John Rossmann, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Richard Frank, Chuck Aelesio, Jim Heiser, Roger Shafer, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Wayne Gaul, Ted Feurer, Jake Lederman, Herb Bahrmann, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Mike Willsey, Ted Willsey, Jerry Willsey, Elwood Vanderbilt, Marty Herzog, Jim Rissacher, Gerry Chartier, Harold Grippen, and me.