Dying is a lot more complicated than living
Tuesday, Jan. 22, The Old Men of the Mountain met at the Duanesburg Diner, in Duanesburg. This was another Tuesday where the OMOTM had to be careful on the roads, especially in the dark of early morning.
One set of OFs came upon a car in the ditch and this mishap appeared to have happened just ahead of them. The OFs said they stopped to see if they could help and the driver said, “No, we’re OK.”
The road where it happened is straight so it must have been inattention or a tad too fast for conditions or overconfidence in the car, because said vehicle was a four-wheel drive. It was no morning to be in a snowbank; the temperature was -2 degrees and the wind was blowing. Oh joy! The fun of winter driving.
The OFs were chattering about how alarmed the weather guys were because the storm of the century was pending and they carried on so. One OF commented that it is called job security.
Of course these OFs are OFs and most all, or maybe all (this is a fact this scribe would have fun looking into — what is the origin of the current group of OFs?) of the OFs are northeasterners and in 70 to 80 years have seen their share of winter storms. Though miserable for some and glorious to others, this storm was maybe normal.
One OF asked what are they comparing it to. He said, “What about 1957-58?”
Then another OF said, “Those years weren’t of this century. We are in the century of 2000 now and the century is young yet.” This OF continued, “The weather guys don’t have to go back too far for any storm to be the storm of the century — they only have to go back 18 years. We have many years to go and probably will have many ‘storms of the century’ coming up.”
Continuing on, discussing the weather during the winter months, it was noted that some of the OFs arrive early at the designated eating establishment. This means the sun has not peeked over the hill yet and these OFs are driving in the dark.
Tuesday morning with the full moon, the OFs talked about how beautiful it was; as the OFs have aged, they are becoming more appreciative of their surroundings and not afraid to talk about it.
OFs contemplate their obituaries
Along with this, the OFs talked about obituaries and how long and what they would say in their obit. With this group, there are enough years under their belts that they have a pretty good idea about what their life was like, and what they would like in their obits.
Some OFs said they would like their obit to read “He lived, he got married, he had six kids, and he died.” That would be it!
One OF suggested it might be a cool thing to have your obit all written and kept with your will. Another OF added that it might be a good idea to keep on the good side of your kids.
Just like the quite-often recited truism — be nice to your kids because they are the ones who are going to choose your nursing home — it should be added that the kids are going to be the ones to write your obit.
It was further stated by another OF that obits can cost money. If you want to have a long obit, it would a good idea to stick an envelope with money in it attached to the will and have it marked “for obit expenses” and have your pre-written obit in that envelope.
One OF said he doesn’t want an obit, but is going to leave money specifically for his headstone. This OF wants a large, fancy headstone, and on it he wants engraved “Here lies Guess Who, Born 1937 — Died 2022” (or whatever the death date might be) and that’s it.
One OF said he wants to be cremated and his ashes spread in the ocean. Then the kids don’t have to worry about a plot, or headstone.
Another OF piped up, “They will cremate you all right but probably spread the ashes on the manure pile.”
The first OF answered, “That might not be too bad either; at least my ashes will be doing some good after I’m gone.”
The other OF replied, “You got that right because you didn’t do any good while you were here.” (Yep, it was just another day at the OMOTM’s breakfast).
What’s left behind
Most of the OFs think they are leaving quite a mess for their kids. A few are better organized than others and have totes with labels for the tchotchkes that have some value.
One OF said that, the longer he lives, the more junk he accrues. An OF added, “My wife and I are on the short end of the ruler and we still hit the garage-sale circuit and purchase items that catch our eye.”
The OF said they change them out with items already in the house and take those things being replaced to the barn. The OF said he thinks he is not as attached to these pieces as his wife, but if she hits the pearly gates before he does, their kids would have to do the garage sale.
The OF doesn’t think he could handle it. It appears dying is a lot more complicated than living.
All the Old Men of the Mountain who made it to the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg and found a very pleasant and efficient Waldo bringing out the vitals were: Rev. Jay Francis, Wally Guest, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Ray Frank, Chuck Aelesio, Roger Shafer, Roger Chapman, Lou Schenck, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Joe Rack, Marty Herzog, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.