Today’s OFs have much in common with prehistoric cavemen

Once long ago, when this planet was first being formed, three old guys were pushed out of the cave so they would leave the ladies alone. These three guys grunted their displeasure and decided to hunt for something to eat.

For no particular reason, the hunting was easy and the three old guys had a good time and decided to do this more often. Soon other old guys saw the three go out and have a good time, so a few more put down their rocks from beating on other rocks to make dirt (because these guys were older than dirt) and joined in.

This group is still gathering today; though not the same guys, it is the same group. This scribe has often been asked how long, or when, did the Old Men of the Mountain begin.

This scribe hopes this answers that question and on this past Tuesday, Nov. 9, the Old Men of the Mountain met at Mrs. K’s restaurant in Middleburgh to keep up the tradition from having been kicked out of the cave by the women, to being kicked out of the house for the same reason.

Only now the OFs do not have to hunt for food, they just travel their round robin of hunting grounds where the food is prepared and brought to them.

Although many years have gone by, not much has changed: The OFs are still burning wood.

Some of the discussion on Tuesday morning was on the burning of wood. How much the OFs have or had on hand for the winter. How do the OFs feel the winter is going to go? What kind of wood do they burn?

That seems to be an ambiguous question, because most of the OFs know it is not a good idea to burn pine. This discussion seems to come up every year, but since the time in the cave, one would think the OFs had progressed more than that.

One OF, in a way, answered the question. Burning wood is more or less therapeutic and to this OF there is nothing like the aroma and the crackling of a wood fire on a cold and blustery winter’s night. But some of the OFs said they gave that up long ago; it is too much work.

Give them just a simple thermostat, a full tank of oil, and a furnace that works — and they are happy. If the OF is chilly, he just walks over and moves that ’stat up a degree.

Scribe’s challenge

This scribe is trying to report on what the OMOTM are doing, saying, traveling to or from, in or out of jail, anything different or unusual. However, for quite some time, the OGs are behaving themselves, and where they have been has already been reported on.

This makes the job of scribe a little more interesting because the scribe has to resort to older notes to see what happened and is still relevant.

Choosing an ice floe over assisted living

Going back in time, it was noted that assisted living was discussed, and was found not to be the best way to go. This scribe had a note scribbled “Ice Floe” and remembers what this was about.

Most of the OFs in that conversation thought at that time the Eskimos up north have the right idea. Place the old folks on an ice floe with enough food to last awhile and send them out to sea.

There the old folks would be able to make peace with their god, and prepare themselves for death. The ice floe would melt, and the old folks would be buried honorably at sea.

It would be, so the Eskimos thought, only their bodies would be offered to the sea. The gods already had their souls. This scribe does not know if any of this is right or not, but the OMOTM seemed to have some understanding of the ritual.

After checking with Google, it seems that this is a legend that is not entirely wrong. The common perception of taking Granny out to the nearest ice floe and setting her adrift is wrong. But yes, in the past, some Eskimos did kill old people when circumstances were sufficiently desperate.

The OFs would rather do this than go into a nursing home, or assisted living. This, if the scribe remembers correctly, brought out a few humms.

Most of the OFs are in some kind of pain or have another issue, but they never seem to complain. The pain of being left alone seems to be the worst and not many of the OFs look forward to that.

Wasn’t that a cherry dialogue to find? This scribe can see why it wasn’t reported when it was discussed.

No list, but desires fulfilled

Then a few weeks back, there was a note on “Bucket List.” It was found that not many of the OFs have such a list.

Some have the “I wished I did this or that” but not a desire to say “I am going to do this or that and call it a Bucket List.” The OFs think the term Bucket List is a new catch phrase for something many OFs have been doing for years.

Like saving up to go on an extended vacation in Hawaii or for some it would be Alaska. For one it was a desire to return to Normandy and the area where he served in World War II, and that “Bucket List” item (so to speak) was achieved.

Condolences

It is with deep regret that this scribe must report on another Old Man of the Mountain passing on to meet with the other Old Men of the Mountain on their Tuesday morning cloud. Bill Bartholomew has gone to join that crowd. And, like all the others, he will missed be greatly.

Those Old Men of the Mountain who made it to Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh with their woulda, shoulda, coulda, in mind, but not necessarily a bucket were: Paul Nelson, Harold Guest, Mark Traver, Joe Rack, Ken Parks, Rich LaGrange, Glenn Patterson, Jim Guest (guest of Harold and Wally Guest), Wally Guest, Otis Lawyer, Marty Herzog, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Paul Whitbeck, Jake Herzog, Gerry Chartier, Rev. Jay Francis, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Elwood Vanderbilt, Bob Donnelly, Dave Hodgetts, John Dabrvalskes, Russ Pokorny, and me.