Ages of birthday-party celebrants total more than 3,000 years

DUANESBURG — And a grand birthday party it was, held at the Chuck Wagon Diner on Sept. 23 for Elwood Vanderbilt on his 98th birthday. The singing was awful as usual, but what was lacking in quality was more than made up for with enthusiasm and volume from the exceptionally large crowd of OFs.

Tuesday’s attendance caused at least two of the tables to have completely different sets of OFs sitting at them. Never saw that before. One table held six OFs and the other table held four. As soon as each table got up to leave, it was immediately filled back up with some latecomers to the party.

At another table, an OF got to thinking what with Elwood being 98 years old, and the rest of us not far behind him, that the cumulative age of those present would easily surpass 3,000 years! Not surprising; after all, we are the Old Men of the Mountain!

It is that time of the year again, or maybe it is just because we are up and about at the crack of dawn, but there seems to be plenty of deer to be seen, and some to be avoided, on the way to breakfast these days.

We were treated to a spectacular red sunrise Tuesday morning, which of course made some of us mentally recite the old saying, “Red sunset at night, sailor’s delight. Red sunrise in the morning, sailors take warning.”  Sure enough, the rains came later in the day.

Life journeys

As the regular readers of this column are aware, the life experiences of our members make for very interesting conversations and maybe just a few tall tales around the breakfast table on any random Tuesday morning.

We know of a few of these life journeys taken by our OFs.  They include the hard work of being the fourth-, fifth-, even sixth-generation family farmer here in the Hilltowns.

One fifth-generation family farmer told a humorous story about the time when he was pulling into his driveway at the farm after running a few errands and a car pulled right in behind him. The other driver, a much younger man than our OF, got out and came up to him and commented how very beautiful the farm looked with the farmhouse and barns and fields.

Our OF proudly said thank-you and told the stranger that he was the fifth generation in his family to operate this farm. At this point, the young stranger informed him rather authoritatively that that was not true, that he knew the previous owner personally.

Our OF wished him well and they parted company and each went on their way. It should be noted that pastors, who are also fifth-generation farmers, seldom get into arguments regarding their own family history with young strangers who have no idea what in the world they are talking about.

The proof is in the pictures

While we are on the subject of the past journeys that we have all taken to finally arrive at this point, an OF last week was telling the story of one of his summertime jobs. Now, we all enjoy a good tall tale, but this particular tall tale was taking the tall-tale telling to truly Olympian heights.

It seems that last week he told the OFs at his table that his job was to jump into the water. That’s it, just jump into the water, and he got paid for it!

He didn't jump from the side of the pool, he didn’t jump from the diving board. No, not even from the 10-meter (33 feet) platform used in competitive diving meets.

Noooo, he jumped from over 80 feet up while standing on a 12-inch square platform! The only difference in the story from last week to this week was — he brought pictures this time!

There was even one picture, taken mid-flight, where he was wearing a cape that had been doused with a flammable substance and set ablaze just before he jumped.

One OF, in typical OF fashion, commented that our OF jumper used to be slender and six feet, six inches tall but every time he jumped and landed in the water, he sort of squished down and out a couple of inches, resulting in his current height of five feet, nothing by a width today of three feet, four.

Canadian travel

Not really enough time to get into the Reversing Falls tourist attraction that one of our OFs found in Canada while on a family vacation recently.

He also commented on the price disparity for gas between the two countries for the same brand-name gas just across the border from each other. One wonders if the price difference was a result of the price per liter versus the price per gallon.

Our vacationing OF also commented on the total lack of traffic going north or south on the four-lane road in each direction at the border crossing in northern Maine at this time of the year, resulting in bored customs officials with too much time on their hands, who, in good humor, decided to do a really thorough job of inspecting their camper while commenting how nice it was.

Those OMOTM who enjoyed the birthday party at the Chuck Wagon were Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Frank A. Fuss, Jacob Lederman, Ted Feurer, Wayne Gaul, Jim Austin, Chuck Batcher, Russ Pokorny, Warren Willsey, Frank Dees, Marty Herzog, Roland Tozer, Miner Stevens, James Darrah, Wm Lichliter, George Washburn, Pete Whitbeck, Jake Herzog, Pastor Jay Francis, Randy Barber, John Williams, Lou Schenck, Joe Rack, Al Schager, Robert Schanz, Mark Traver, Gerry and Winne Chartier, Duncan Bellinger, Herb Bahrmann, Paul Guiton, Gerry Cross, John Jaz, Dick Dexter, Jack Norray, Elwood Vanderbilt, Bob Donnelly, Dave Hodgetts, Alan DeFazio, John Dab, and me.