The Boot inspires empathy and endless jokes
SCHOHARIE — The OMOTM gathered at the Your Way Café in Schoharie on this cool, cloudy Tuesday morning, Aug. 6. Your current scribe, not the Scribe Emeritus John Williams, arrived sporting a rather large “boot” covering his left foot, ankle, and almost all the way up to his knee.
As he hobbled out to the car that was picking him up with three other OFs in it, he just knew that he was probably going to hear some real concern and then the jokes would start regarding why he was wearing the boot.
Sure enough, the first thing out of their mouths was concern. “What happened to you?” “You OK?”
This was followed by my answer of, “I don't know. I just woke up a couple of days ago and my foot hurt like crazy. I can hardly walk on it, it hurts so much.”
That was the end of any serious questions and answers!
Then it started. “What did you do? Fall out of bed while celebrating married life?”
Now remember, these are OFs talking! Sixty years ago, it is just possible that my wife and I may have celebrated our new marriage somewhat enthusiastically, but at no time was I ever remotely in danger of falling out of bed!
(However, I do have to wonder about the several OFs who asked that question or thought it was funny.) I'm lucky to even remember 60 years ago.
Another popular question was, “Did you shoot yourself in the foot practicing your world class Quick Draw?”
It didn’t matter that I am right-handed and the boot was on my left foot. Oh, and the last time I practiced my right-handed quick draw, it was with my old trusty Roy Rogers cap gun six-shooter that was held together with electrical tape.
That joke did spark some real-life memories at more than one table of some Roy Rogers wannabes that did manage to shoot themselves. Not the OFs themselves, but rather, people they knew.
This being the Olympics and all, I was asked if I injured myself practicing my floor routine (or beam) in preparation for my competition with Simone Biles.
The one question I was not asked was, “Do you want to race?”
I think one of the more humorous aspects of the whole thing was the number of OFs who got up from their table to walk over to where I was sitting to ask their questions. I will say in their defense, they universally did express concern for me, right before asking if I shot myself in the left foot while practicing my right-handed quick draw with my Roy Rogers cap gun.
I just can't leave this segment without one last hilarious visualization. Imagine, if you will, the ultimate machismo man of all, Tarzan.
Me Tarzan, you Jane. And they are celebrating — and Mr. Machismo Man falls out of bed! Now, that is a mood changer! I’m still chuckling with that visual. My ankle doesn't even hurt anymore!
Different models in different times
At a table last week, I got word that a discussion was had about old vs. new cars. Imagine that, a discussion about old cars by the OMOTM at breakfast. I bet that has never happened before
This discussion centered around how similar the cars look these days. Cars today show no originality; different makes and models basically look all alike. During the week, I checked it out. It's true. They are the same.
One OF at the table commented about how he was in traffic the other day, waiting at a stoplight, and there were several cars ahead of him. He said almost all of them were black, from the top to down to the road, or at least very dark.
All were four-door; all had basically the very same lines. No more chrome these days, and sometimes even that trim that looks like chrome now is nothing more than aluminum foil glued to a plastic strip that is in turn glued, not screwed, to the car.
Any and all of OMOTM can tell you what a ’55 Chevy looked like vs. the classic ’57 Chevy, and same goes for the Fords and Chryslers. They were all very different, and they all came out with new designs each year.
Remember when the car manufacturers would hide the gas-tank filler caps behind the license or tail lights? How about two-tone color schemes for some models. Real wood on the sides of some station wagons?
How about the catchy songs that came out about the cars from the manufacturers? Like “See the USA in your Chevrolet,” or “Going for a ride in my merry Oldsmobile.”
Those are good memories about a different time. Maybe a somewhat more innocent time, but I, for one, am glad I can count those times among my memories and have a smile on my face every time.
The OMOTM who showed no taste with their sense of humor at the Your Way Café last Tuesday morning, but still enjoyed a great breakfast were; Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Ed Goff, Frank A. Fuss, Kevin McDonald, Miner Stevens, Gary Schultz, Roger Shafter, Joe Rack, Duncan Bellinger, Lou Schenck, Gerry Cross, John Jaz, Jack Norray, John Dab, Paul Guiton, Paster Jay Francis, Elwood Vandererbilt, Dave Hodgetts, Bob Donnelly, Wayne Gaul, Ted Feurer, Jim Austin, Wm Lichliter, Paul Whitbeck, Peter Whitbeck, Marty Herzog, Jake Herzog, Russ Pokorny, Warren Willsey, Frank Dees, David L. Wood, Gerry Chartier, and me.