Luck is on the side of the OFs, even with missteps and lost keys

On Aug. 5, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Country Café in Schoharie. This scribe has to tell a tale of a whopping mistake he made. One simple little job that this scribe has is to call the restaurants a day ahead to warn them of the attacks of the OFs. This is so the restaurant under attack can have enough ammunition to take care of the OFs’ assault, with weapons like eggs, pancake batter, and rolls for breakfast sandwiches.

Monday, Aug. 4, the scribe called the Blue Star restaurant and told them the OFs would be there. Wrong. The OFs were going to be at the Country Café.

This was not realized until Tuesday morning, so this scribe did not shave, charged out and hit the road before six. This scribe reached the Blue Star and it was locked but there was someone inside who opened the door and this scribe explained what happened and the girl was very nice, and said, “No problem.”

Now comes the tough part — getting to the Country Café and letting them know they were about to be taken over by the OFs, and the restaurant would probably not be prepared. This scribe found two surprises.

Even though it was super early, there was one OF going into the Country Café just as the waitress was unlocking the door.  The girl was very pleasant and told this scribe not to worry; they already knew the attack was coming.

It seems one of the OFs had eaten a meal there a few days before and told them they were the next one in the barrel. This generated a great big “phew” by this scribe. The Lord does take care of us even in small ways.

All the restaurants in the OFs’ round robin of eating establishments have great people, even if they are dealing with a bunch of OFs, and these OFs can wear purple you know!

The case of

the lost keys

Last week, at Mrs. K’s in Middleburgh, one OF was going around trying to find out which one of the OGs left his keys there. He had the keys (which belonged to a Buick) and along with the keys was a pocketknife that did everything but take the can off the shelf.

Only one of the OFs has a Buick, so a couple of his friends thought they would be able to identify the owner of these keys.  When that OF showed up, the guesser OFs were right.  They knew who the owner of the keys was and somehow the OF had left them at the previous restaurant.

Tuesday morning at the Country Café, the OF who had the other OF’s keys said that he received a phone call about one o’clock last Tuesday, July 29, that this same OF left his keys again at Mrs. Ks.

The OFs began to suspect that the leaving of the keys was an excuse to get out again to trot back to the restaurant.  Some of the OFs are considering using this ploy to get out of the house. Not a bad strategy to skip out of yard work or house work, but, as one OF put it, the key ruse can only be used two or three times or it becomes too obvious.  If it happens too often, the wife will have the OF packed off for a dementia test, or at least hire a private detective to follow the OG.

Some cars today do not need keys — they unlock the doors by voice command, and the ignition is opened with a password, and then all that is required is to push a button and vroom, the car starts.

Well, how about remote control starting of vehicles that have been around for a long time?

“Nah,” an OF said. “It is possible to lose that control too.”

Another OF said that he has trouble remembering passwords, and, for him to remember the combination to the door, and then the password to start the dumb car, it wouldn’t be long before he couldn’t get in it, and then, if he did, he couldn’t start it.

“That is too much to ask of my pea-pickin’ brain,” the OF said. “Give me the chance to advance the throttle, set the spark, and spin the crank.”

With that statement, the OF said he would be all set.

The perils of

parallel parking

Parallel parking!  Now there is something many of the OFs try not to do.

The OFs remember (when they were working on their farms) parking anything going backwards and parking four-wheel wagons, at times were a challenge, especially when the hay mow was over the stable and it was necessary to back a wagon full of hay over a barn bridge.

But parallel parking was not on the list. The OFs managed to parallel park to get their drivers’ licenses; however, using it afterwards was something many of the OFs avoided, although it must be added some of the OFs can parallel park as well as anyone.

One OF mentioned it was the turning of his neck that prevents him from parallel parking. It is his d--- arthritis.  The OF said he will drive around until he can find a space he can drive into.

Another OF said that having to parallel park is what killed the city downtowns. Malls have parking lots where just driving into a slot is all that is necessary, and, the OF said, if it is planned right, quite often pulling through into the facing slot is great if no car is there, then backing up to leave isn’t even a problem, just drive right on out.

Oh — the planning and thinking the OFs have to do just to go out for an ice cream.

Those OFs who made it to the Country Café in Schoharie, and being taken care of royally because an OF happened to eat there earlier and forewarn the café of the attack were: Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Glenn Patterson, Otis Lawyer, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Jim Heiser, Chuck Aleseio, Bob Benac, Art Frament, Herb Swabota, Jay Taylor, Roger Fairchild, Roger Shafer, Bill Krause, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Lou Schenck, Bob Lassome, Joe Loubier, Ted Willsey, Duane Wagenbaugh, Rich Donnelly, and me.