Intel on an intrepid task force investigating missing list during cocktail time
MIDDLEBURGH — The OMOTM arrived on time — that means anytime we get there — at the Middleburgh Diner on another fine summer’s morning, July 16.
The missing attendance list from our visit to the Windowbox Café has been found! It will be so noted at the end of this column. Rumor has it that it was found hiding in a safe place under a cocktail coaster!
The OMOTM have dispatched their highly trained, world-renowned investigators to get to the root cause of this near catastrophic happening. We have been told by this ultra special task force that there will be “no comment” while an active investigation is underway due to the extreme nature involving the national security of nearly every nation in the western hemisphere.
There are three nations who are not part of this national security pact, mainly due to the fact they have no national security.
About the only thing of any value that they have is each of them has a single fast-food restaurant. One has a Wendy’s, one has a Burger King, and one has a McDonald’s, and because it also so happens that these three nations share a common border as they all intersect at a single point. This intersection is called the “Three Corners” — much like the Four Corners in Delmar, except they only have three corners. Each fast-food place occupies one corner.
It so happens that, on occasion, these establishments engage in what the locals call “The War of the Fries.” This happens on a semi-regular basis: one place accuses the other of selling “short fries,” or sometimes it is more of a “fat fry vs. skinny fry,” or even the ultimate insult, using regular salt in place of sea salt.
That one sometimes results in a loud voice or, the ultimate response, someone almost shaking a finger at someone. That ultimate response is no longer used because, with only three corners, no one is quite sure who the recipient is supposed to be of the almost finger-shaking.
So the “War of the Fries” ends with everyone calming down and cooling off with a shake, a vanilla shake, a chocolate shake, and a strawberry shake. No, to our knowledge, there has never been a “War of the Shakes.”
Getting back to our intrepid task force charged with the issue of the now-not-missing attendance list from the the Windowbox Café, since this involves a cocktail coaster, an empty cocktail glass, and a few peanuts, the task force has determined that it can only investigate this mystery during cocktail hour from 5 to 6 p.m. with an appropriate beverage at hand. This investigation may take a while.
Picnic review
We had a nice crowd having breakfast at the Middleburgh Diner. We added another table to the length of our long table because we OMOTM like our “long tables” where we can hardly hear across the table much less even halfway down the length.
We welcomed a new Teller of Tall Tales to our midst and a long-time member made it known to the keeper of the mailing list that he has not received any emails for a long time. I am told that that has been corrected.
The OFs continued to critique our annual picnic and, in particular, the accommodations found aboard the “Pride of Warner’s Lake” pontoon boat. The total lack of seating aboard the Pride might put some people off, but not the OMOTM.
Our host for the picnic doesn’t have enough chairs for all of us to sit on during the picnic, so he asks us to please bring our own chairs. No problem, we bring our own chairs.
When the captain of the Pride says to those of you who want to go for a cruise around the lake, please bring your own chairs with you to the boat, that’s no problem. It’s just a normal thing for the OFs at their own picnic.
You know what? Last week, while talking about the OFs and our modes of transportation to and from the picnic, our usual motorcycles, pickup trucks, classic antique cars, military truck, and the usual Model T and the two little classic convertible sporty cars that were missing this year were mentioned.
What was not mentioned were the new modern all-electric cars that several OFs now drive as their regular means of transportation. Just because some of us have become classics in our own right doesn’t mean we can’t be modern and up to date, just like the lyrics say from the song in the Broadway musical, “Oklahoma.”
Now for the infamous attendance lists.
First, this week’s from the Middleburgh Diner: Harold and Wally Guest, Ed Goff, Miner Stevens, new member Randy Barber, George Washburn, Pete Whitbeck, Wm Lichliter, Frank A. Fuss, Jim Austin, Warren Willsey, Chuck Batcher, Russ Pokorny, Duncan Bellinger Esq., Herb Bahrmann, Alan DeFazio, Dave Hodgetts, Bob Donnelly, John Jazz, Jack Norray, Dick Dexter, Robert Schanz, Gerry Chartier, and me.
Now from the Windowbox Café (a week late): Wally & Harold Guest, Peter T. Parisi, Frank A. Fuss, Robert Schanz, (there was a person who signed in right between Fuss and Schanz but I can’t make out who you are. Let me know and I’ll add you next time), Marty Herzog, Jim Austin, Jake Lederman, Ted Feurer, Wayne Gaul, Pete Whitbeck, Gerry Chartier, Josh Beuls, Jake Herzog, George Washburn, Lou Schenck, John Williams, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Charly Batch, Bob Donnelly, Elwood Vanderbilt, Alan DeFazio, Dave Hodgetts, Paul Whitbeck, Pastor Jay Francis, Al Schager, John Jazz, Jack Norray, Dick Dexter, Gerry Cross, Henry Whipple, Paul Guiton, John Dab, and me.