The hills make Helderberg weather uncertain
On July 13, 2021, the Old Men of the Mountain met at Mrs. K’s restaurant in Middleburgh. The OMOTM thought “here we go again” as the streets of Middleburgh were cleared from the latest go-round with high water.
If anyone has dealt with the mud after a flood, they know how slippery it is. The OFs who helped with the clean-up after Tropical Storm Irene are familiar with this slippery condition; the mud is more slippery than wet ice.
Fortunately, Mrs. K’s was open and the OFs who showed up tread very carefully getting out of their vehicles on the street side; otherwise the other OFs would be dragging the OFs from under the car after they slipped on the mud.
Once the OFs were inside the restaurant, guess what they talked about? You are right: It was the weather!
In this discussion, the OFs at this scribe’s end of the table shared a lot of their experiences of living on the Hill and in the valleys of either side of the mountain. Together the OFs arrived at a good reason for the weather in our area, quite often defeating the weather people.
The hills! Therein lies the problem. Many times, the hills change the direction of the low winds and alter the directions of many storms. This latest storm was one of those storms. One OF said a lot has to do with the altitude and the winds bumping into these hills that makes a big difference.
Fulminating over phones
The OFs then started talking about these new phones. To the young people, even though these phones are new they can understand them, while to us OFs much of the phone technology is a mystery.
The OFs don’t have a clue as to what is going on. All the OFs want it to do is have it ring and the OFs answer, dial a number, and someone on the other end answers. That is all a phone has to do.
It does not have to deliver our kids, shine our shoes, start our cars, wash our faces, or pick our noses! Just ring and be answered
The OFs say they have complained about this before, but the problem is getting worse. It is like carrying a TV in the OF’s pocket.
As one OF put it, “The next thing you know these phones will come with a lanyard so they can be carried around our necks.”
Canes are no joke
This Tuesday, we almost had the battle of the canes. The OFs were in a quandary of where to put their canes when they sat down.
These assisted walking devices can be a nuisance at times when trying to park them. Such was the case on Tuesday morning.
The challenge: Finding a place where the canes could be placed and not fall to the floor, causing the waitress to trip over them, or worse yet, the OF would have to bend over and pick it up. At a certain age, bending over is not the easiest maneuver the OFs can make.
These assistants to walking are not really a joke; they are very necessary for some of the OFs to get around and not be a burden to anybody. They take some time to get used to for those who wield these walking sticks, and they have to be rugged.
Some OFs (and also other people) require the cane to support all their weight at times and that cane had better not snap or fold or it will take 10 OFs to pick the one OF up from the ground and get his legs under him.
Belly of the beast
We all think we have belly buttons and for some reason that bit of information was discussed at the breakfast table, eh-wot?
(The scribe did not make this term up; it was checked out on Google (phew). This term was typically uttered by pompous, posh men; “eh, wot?” was the Regency-era equivalent to “you know” or “right?")
One OF commented that all the paintings of Adam and Eve are wrong because they show Adam and Eve with belly buttons. Of course why would they? Adam and Eve did not need belly buttons, but the rest of us do.
Except one OF piped up, “I don’t have a belly button.”
That got a lot of attention. Come to find out, the OF doesn’t have a belly button. So the conversation continued.
One OF said his belly button is so large, it is possible to park a Mack truck in there. The question arose: What kind of tube must that have been?
Another OF commented that his belly button is shaped like a question mark. Goodness
It is a good thing the OFs were not talking about noses or ears; the column would fill up a whole page.
One OF muttered, “Boy, we are sure made up from a lot of parts.”
Lazy lakeside picnic
An OF offered the use of his place for a picnic on July 15, and this OF will provide the hot dogs, hamburgers, rolls, and that type of extras so the OFs could have a summer gathering with their better halves (and that’s not hard to do). Originally the date was July 14 but that date was changed to the following day due to the weather reports.
Smart move! The weather was perfect and there was a good crowd of OFs with their wives and lady friends. The OFs all sat around under a big cedar tree, had musical interludes, laughed, ate, and talked. A breeze came in off the lake, and the host took those who wanted out for a ride around the lake in his pontoon boat.
It did not seem like a Thursday afternoon. Then again most were old (a word not an age) and retired so every day can be a Sunday afternoon.
Those Old Men of the Mountain who made it through the mud and mire to Mrs. K’s Restaurant and were lucky enough not to need a boat were: Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Roger Chapman, Roger Shafer, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Joe Rack, Kenny Parks, Rich LaGrange, Jake Lederman, Pete Whitbeck, Bill Lichliter, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Russ Pokorny, Gerry Chartier, Otis Lawyer, Jake Herzog, Elwood Vanderbilt, Rich Vanderbilt, Bob Donnelly, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Marty Herzog, John Dabravalskas, Duncan Bellinger, and me.