On making beds: Looking nice and proper seems to better the practical

The summer (to the OFs) just goes by, and this summer seems to have the pedal to the metal. This week, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Middleburgh Diner in, of course, Middleburgh, New York.

This breakfast had a very young server, serving the coffee. It is interesting to observe the customers who frequent these local restaurants. Most are of the silver-hair varieties who are up and about at that time of day. However, the young ones are probably on the job already. The OFs guess that, in the long run, this doesn’t mean much.

Getting up early and getting out of the house brought up an interesting point. This scribe has always maintained the making up of the bed may make the bedroom look pretty, but it is not good science.

The scribe this a.m. asked the question of the OFs. Making the bed is a morning ritual.

This scribe argues that making up the bed traps all the night’s body smells, skin scales, mites, and night farts underneath a layer of sheets, blankets, and quilts. There they lie in wait for the coming night’s collection of the same things, only to be trapped in the dark and damp of the coverings along with the others.

This scribe mentioned to the OFs that the covers should not be returned to covering the bed but left at the foot of the bed. The science does not match the action. Looking nice and proper seems to better the practical.

Doing this would allow the bed to air out (so to speak) and the sunlight would do in some of the little buggers. One OF mentioned, if we are going this far, the foot of the bed should be made like a long clothes rack so the bed covers could also be aired out so those who sleep on the tummy could have their night farts aired out also. Not to mention the new industry that would be created in manufacturing the new type of beds.

How about those people who pile pillow on top of pillow on the bed? “Yeah,” an OF commented, “there are more pillows than bed. I think I would be more comfortable sleeping on the pillows.”

My wife (who makes the bed every day) insists I inject her thoughts on this subject for the ladies.

She asked me, “What does it mean when a man is in your bed, calling your name and gasping for breath?”

The answer: “You didn’t hold down the pillow long enough.”

She thinks she’s funny.

Inflation

The OFs started talking about inflation and, for lack of a better word, deflation. Most of the time, either one of these economic situations crept up on us, but now, as one OF put it, it is darn easy to spend money.

The OFs have complained about this before, but, as another OF put it, in the recent past, our wallets are either much thicker to carry around so much more cash, or we are carrying larger denomination bills. One OG said some of these ATMs now let us draw out 50-dollar bills. Is this a sign of the times or what?

The OFs remember when it was a big deal to have a fifty in the wallet. Now it is possible to have a fifty in the wallet just to pay for a meal in a restaurant, and that fifty won’t even be enough to cover paying for a pair of jeans. One fellow suggested hundred-dollar bills will have to make a comeback.

Fashion or common sense?

After last week’s gathering at the Chuck Wagon, a few of the OFs were planning on leaving the restaurant and taking one of the OF’s boats out on the Hudson and going for a boat ride. This sounds like fun and, according to the OFs who went for the ride, they had a good time, but finding a place to pull in and have something to eat was a chore.

Apparently, they did not plan this trip for very long — it was more a spur-of-the-moment trip. If those who still have memories that can remember last Tuesday, it was sunny and hot, so these were courageous OGs to be out on the open water with conditions like that.

Sunscreen must have been at a premium or at least wide-brimmed hats and long sleeves. The skin on the ages of OFs is prime for skin cancers of all sorts.

Remembering back when the OFs were throwing hay, no matter how hot it was, is not like what it is today when the OFs are in their late seventies or eighties, and have lots to drink. Around 1960 is when sunscreen was beginning to be used regularly; before that, in the fifties, it was suntan lotion used by lifeguards with white noses.

It is OFs like us keeping dermatologists busy with skin cancer today because the OFs really didn’t know the sun was so harmful. The OFs actually thought that sun was good for us; only our parents somehow knew it wasn’t. The OFs noticed but paid no attention to their parents in long sleeves and wide-brimmed hats when they were out in the summer.

Look at old pictures: All the men had on hats, and so did the ladies. Was it a fashion statement, or common sense?

Those Old Men of the Mountain who were at the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh didn’t just wander in; they were there by design, and they were: Miner Stevens, and guest Bradley McLaughlin, Roger Chapman, Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Glenn Patterson, Joe Rack, Mark Traver, Pete Whitbeck, Bill Lichliter, George Washburn, Jake Herzog, Rev. Jay Francis, Russ Pokorny, Otis Lawyer, Lou Schenck, Gerry Chartier, Jack Norray, Herb Bahrmann, and me.