Sharing stories, good and bad, of GPS adventures

DELANSON — A taste of spring! It may only be one day, but a very good taste it is, blue sky, nearly 70 degrees, it might even reach and beat the record of 70 degrees. Then colder tomorrow, but the trend is for the temperatures to keep getting warmer.

Now that we have daylight saving, the days are obviously lighter longer but the sunrise suffered a setback. Even with that setback, we shall enjoy the rest of the good news regarding the weather.

A pretty sunrise was happening just as we arrived at Gibby's Diner on March 11. I knew it was going to be a happy breakfast for at least one OF when I saw a brand new, and very clean, totally electric, bright red car pull up and park, front and center, like he owned the place. A great day to drive your new car on clear, clean, and dry roads.

When he came in, we acknowledged his good looking new car. He said thanks, then he said something about the GPS in the car and his fingers not hitting the right buttons. The first thing that came to my mind was, “Why are you messing with the GPS? The OMOTM have been going to the same diners for quite a while and none of us have ever gotten lost.”

Of course, I knew why, because I would do the same thing if I had a new car that had new toys in it. Gotta check the stuff out. The OF knows perfectly well how to get to Gibby’s Diner, but does the GPS know? That’s the question.

Let’s set this thing up and see if it takes me the same way I travel. If it passes that test, then maybe I’ll trust it to guide me to someplace I haven’t visited before. Maybe.

Of course, this led our table into a rather extended discussion of our adventures involving our respective GPSs. Most of these stories were humorous, involving the old computer saying, “Garbage in equals garbage out.”

Also a lack of a clear understanding of how much information is required, in what order, on which menu page. For instance, you just can’t put an address for 123 Main St., Albany. On some GPSs, you must put in the state or you may be getting directions for Albany, Georgia or Albany, Washington — there are lots of places named Albany in the USA.

On my GPS, it doesn’t want to know the city, just the state. And, if I input both, it just stops working altogether and I have to back out of where I am.

Usually we all agreed that most of the time we just turned it off and started over again while trying desperately to remember where it was when the fatal mistake was committed.

Then there are the cell phones. They have GPS built in and cars now come equipped with GPS, which is as common as the steering wheel. The full color display screen is bigger than my first black-and-white TV.

And they talk to each other! I think you can just talk to your cellphone GPS and ask it how to get someplace and, of course, it will show and tell you everything you need to know on its own screen.

Someone else on their computer located anywhere in the world can send the info to your cell. Your cell phone will give the information to your car’s GPS system, and then, if you have a car that drives itself, you can just recline your seat, fluff your pillow, and tell your GPS to wake you upon arrival.

Of course, that computer could have just communicated directly with your car. At about that point in the conversation, I started to concentrate on eating my breakfast of ham and eggs.

This stuff really is great. One of the OFs at the table told the story of his GPS informing him of an accident ahead and of a detour he could take to avoid it. He followed the advice of the GPS, and found himself traveling along a parallel road to the road he was on.

When he looked over, he saw the ambulance just arriving at the accident. His GPS obviously got the same message at the same time as the first responders. Amazing.

I had two similar experiences with my earlier GPS — mine was not built into the car. It started to suggest I take the next exit, and it suggested this several times.

Back then, it didn’t talk to me, just suggested taking the next exit. It knew where I was, and knew the next exit number and, since I had programmed it as to where I was going, it knew how to get me there. Of course, I ignored all the suggestions and breezed right on by the exit and then read an overhead sign that told me of an accident ahead.

Too late. I was soon stuck in a traffic jam for miles! The second time this same suggestion came to me months later, I paid attention and got off and did not end up in a traffic jam.

More GPS stories next week, one of which involves the classic line, “You mean there was no there, there?”

This week, we were there there at Gibby’s Diner, with or without GPS help, and those present were Wally Guest, Harold Guest, Ed Goff, Frank A. Fuss, George Washburn, Wm Lichliter, Jamey Darrah, Marty Herzog, Russ Pokorny, Jim Gardner, Warren Willsey, Mark Traver, Joe Rack, Roland Tozer, Pastor Jay Francis, John Williams, Lou Schenck, Gerry Cross,  Herb Bahrmann, Jack Norray, John Jaz, Paul Guiton, John Dab, Elwood Vanderbilt, Dave Hodgetts, Bob Donnelly, Jake Herzog, and me.