Warning to hackers: We may be senior citizens, but we are not stupid

MIDDLEBURGH — The OMOTM were welcomed this week at Mrs. K’s Kitchen in Middleburgh, on a bright, sunny Tuesday morning with the temperature forecasted to climb into the mid-50s. With the temperature scheduled to reach into the mid-60s the next two days it is hard not to be thinking of springtime.

What a week last week was for a couple of OFs. One of these OFs was me. We got hacked! Separately, not connected to each other.

I know this is something that many of you reading this column are, unfortunately, probably too familiar with. It all started with my computer freezing up with a note on the monitor telling me how to get it fixed.

It was not a ransomware type of thing, but close. They did not want money to fix my problem, but I could not do anything without first calling the phone number of the “Good Guys” who would solve my computer problem.

So I did. Soon, I was able to move around normally on my computer.

Then they reported that my bank accounts had been hacked and a significant amount of my money was gone, to Mexico! They had a convoluted story of how they could get my money back that involved me going to the bank to withdraw cash.

I was not to talk to anyone because the Bad Guys were probably in the bank. At this point, none of this was making any sense. They never should have let me think for the 20-minute drive to the bank.

I absolutely would never withdraw cash from the bank. Never. One thing about the OMOTM, we have all been around the block once or twice and we do know the difference between fact and fiction. After all, we invented the tall tale!

The bank quickly checked my accounts with their computers and all was well. The bank also checked with their fraud department and there was no activity.

This whole thing was just a scam to get me to withdraw my cash: They never got into my accounts. I did change my bank password then and there. The bank personnel stayed with me well after closing while we did all this.

I will never know what the final part of the scam would have been when I left the bank with the money. I went home and called my own computer people to come, get my computer, and clean it up. I then made myself a stiff drink.

The good news is, my computer now runs better than it has in years, I didn't lose any money, and it is a bright sunny day. The other OF also escaped with no harm. The OMOTM may be senior citizens, but we are not stupid.


Dancing class

The OMOTM do specialize in memories however, and March 12 was no exception. One of the memories had to do with dancing class. Some of us actually went to dancing class.

First off, for those of you who don’t know a dancing class from third base at Yankee Stadium, let me explain the fundamentals. There is a big room, big, like half of a basketball court. Lined up along one wall there are a whole bunch of folding chairs. Across the room, lined up against that wall, are another bunch of folding chairs.

The boys, all dressed up in our Sunday best, with a coat and tie and white gloves and scruffy shoes, were sitting along one wall. The girls, also all dressed up in their Sunday-best dresses and Mary Jane shoes and hair just so, sat along the other wall across the room. They had little white gloves too.

As we all waited for the class to start, both sides would be busy counting the line of boys or girls on the other side to see who they would be dancing with. There would be some changing of seats occurring on both walls as seat number 10 on one side wanted to dance with seat number seven on the other side. Do not let the other side see you looking or counting! You gotta be cool.

Then it was time to learn the foxtrot, or waltz. Left hand goes here; right hand goes there. No, no, not so close! Small steps. Try not to step on her toes. Why can’t they play some rock and roll?

Change partners? After I did all that counting chairs and moving around and changing so I could dance with that cute number 10 chair? But you know, number 11 chair was pretty cute too.

By the end of all the lessons, we were pretty good and there was a special dance where we got to ask the number 10 or number 11 chair if they would be our dancing partner that night.

We would shine our shoes and buy a corsage and desperately try to remember: left foot forward, slide to the right, right hand on her waist, left hand not too high, not too close, don’t dance too close! Don’t repeat the steps out loud, 1-2-3, 1-2-3. Do not step on her toes.

Even now, at our advanced ages, the OMOTM will acknowledge as the absolute truth, the fact that the girls were sooooo much better at this dancing stuff than we were. Never forget that Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did, except she did it backwards — while in heels!

The OMOTM who gathered together this fine morning to tell tall tales about their ballroom dancing skills were; Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Ed Goff, Mark Traver, Joe Rack, Roger Shafer, Frank Fuss, Roland Tozer, Ken Parks, Ted Feurer, Jake Lederman, Wyne Gaul, Russ Pokorny, Warren Willsey, Bill Lichliter, Jake Herzog, George Washburn, Paster Jay Francis, Herb Bahrmann, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Dick Dexter, Gerry Cross, John Dab, Paul Guiton, Elwood Donnely Dave Hodgetts, and me.