How do you ask for help?

There’s an ad on TV that shows a woman scurrying around her kitchen and saying, “When I started having back pain, my sister came to help. I don’t like asking for help.”

Most people don’t. As we grow older, in particular, the need for help increases and that’s a direct challenge to maintaining independence.

I talked with Sue Griffiths, Community Caregivers’ intake coordinator, about helping people ask for help. Sue said, “It’s a cultural thing, I think. We’re used to helping ourselves, being independent. We don’t ask for help, perhaps, out of fear, out of feeling inadequate, or maybe a person is just too independent.”

Sue urges families to have a conversation to address how life is changing. Grown children become part of the “sandwich generation,” and they may need to say, “I’m having a hard time worrying about you, too.”

Another scenario has a spouse who needs help but he or she needs to combat the, “It’s my job, my responsibility” thinking.

“Some people,” Sue says, “have a huge support system.”

I know such a family. The mom and dad need help. They live near one son and his family. That son does dishes every night. His wife prepares dinner every night. Doctor appointments are handled by other siblings who don’t live so near, yet near enough to plan for the extra driving for medical appointments.

Sue adds, though, “Other people have no one.

“The gift of asking for help is giving another individual the opportunity to be generous with their time and talents, “ Sue points out.

This is all food for thought.  When you need to reach out, Community Caregivers could be there for you. The reason we always want to increase our volunteer pool is so we can help people maintain their independence as long as possible. And that means helping families, too.

April orientation sessions have been scheduled for the 14th at noon, and the 30th at 10 a.m. at the Caregivers’ office on Western Avenue.

Before my conversation with Sue ended, she asked me to share this: “Community Caregivers is a no-guilt operation. Even an hour a month would be a gift.” More food for thought.

Please call the office at 456-2898 if you’d like to do an orientation. It takes one hour.