We OFs never really learned how to think like a computer
MIDDLEBURGH — The first breakfast of the New Year was held Tuesday, Jan. 6,, at the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh. It was a typical January day: cold, snow on the ground, a nip to the early morning air, but off the OFs went to one of the original diners for the OMOTM.
It is sometimes sad to go over the list of names of when the OMOTM started. The three guys who started this nefarious group were Herbie Wolford, Ivan Baker, and Joe Farkus.
Those three plus all the others who have joined them are enjoying their breakfast now from their heavenly realm watching those of us down here having to deal with the winters (those OFs who stay in the Northeast anyway and don’t run away to warmer climes like some of the others). Hmm. Could there be a touch of jealousy hidden in that sentence somewhere?
There were lots of miscellaneous conversations going on Tuesday morning. One was about shopping for another scribe within the group. This OF at times has trouble waking up, and one of these days this OF might wake up and find himself sitting at a booth with Herbie, Ivan, Joe and that large group of other OFs joining in.
Fortunately one scribe volunteer has come forward; however, this OF will be in Florida for the next three weeks.
Serendipitous phoning
How often does it happen when we butt dial or phone a number we never intended to dial, or dial a number so completely off the number we planned on dialing that so not even a number of either phone matches with one the OF wanted, and for one reason or another speaking to the wrong one turns out right or necessary.
This happened to a couple of OFs and the intended caller of the callers reached were so far off it made no sense, yet reaching the butt-called OF was necessary and important and pertained to the OFs with an upcoming meeting.
Continuing with phones: Almost all the OFs have run into this problem dealing with phone menus and AI, and in many cases never being able to reach the party the OF wanted to reach. Most of the culprits are cases dealing with doctor’s offices, banks, and large corporations.
About the only ones that have menus that are halfway understandable are car dealerships. As one OF put it, they keep it simple because they don’t want to lose a sale on a $30,000 vehicle or get the OF ticked off on service so the OF goes someplace else.
The question was: If car dealerships can do it simply, why can’t the others?
One OF suggested that might be because we OFs never really learned how to think like a computer. We were taught ABCD, not 0 and 1 so we don’t understand how computers think and therefore don’t talk computer talk.
Another OF added, “Yeah. If the OF gets really ticked off and starts yelling at a real person that person might get ticked, or upset, but an AI computer doesn’t care. The OF can blow off steam all he wants — the machine doesn’t know if the OF is shouting or whispering.”
Ah! Just as in this case, give me the good old days when the OF was able to hear a person breathing on the other end of the line. Ever notice when talking to a machine, there are no indications of breathing?
Weather reports
Listening to the weather reports, more often than not during inclement weather, the reports scare the living daylights out of some of the OFs and the reports might be right at times, but not for a couple inches of snow.
Listening to the reports on the evening news quite often makes the OF skittish of heading out the next day.
Such was the case for the a.m. trip to the Middleburgh Diner, yet the OFs who are true Northeasters said, “What the heck! Once they start measuring it in feet I’ll think about not heading to the Middleburgh Diner!”
Those OFs were (and we start with the usual): Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Ed Goff, Albert Raymond, Will Lichliter, George Washburn, Frank Fuss, Robert Shanz, Russ Pokorny, Frank Dees, Chuck Batcher, Warren Willsey, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Dick Dexter, Gerry Cross, and me.