Breaking all the rules, but remaining the hero who can fix anything

MIDDLEBURGH — Cold. Colder. Coldest. Windy. Windier. Windiest.

A small group of OMOTM arrived Tuesday morning, Feb. 18, at the Middleburgh Diner. The winter is taking its toll.

Between the single-digit temperatures, the 60+ miles-per-hour wind, some ice and snow, Florida’s promise of warm weather, and doctor appointments, you know what you get? A modest number of OFs showing up for breakfast today.

Even I was tempted to stay home on Tuesday morning. Those thoughts started to enter my mind on Monday — with the temps remaining in the single digits, the wind howling, it gets going pretty fast at the south end of a frozen north-south lake. Rule #1: Don’t live at the south end of a north-south lake on a windy day.

I was in no mood to go outside and snowblow my driveway. We didn’t get much snow from the last big snowstorm that under-performed again. The approximately two inches of snow that did arrive was horizontal what with the wind and all. I don’t know where the snow finally came to rest, but it wasn’t in my driveway.

Even if I did go out and use the snowblower on what little ice and snow there was, with the wind blowing, the driveway would just drift over again in short order. Which leads me to Rule # 2: Don’t have an east-west driveway at the end of a north-south lake

I car-pool with another OF and it was my turn to drive this week so I decided to see how my car would handle the snow-packed driveway that I had failed to clear after the last two-inch blizzard.

I started to email him to ask if he would pick me up this week even though it was my turn to drive. I can do that because Frank is way younger than I and young guys always like to show that nothing stops them and they always like to help the old guys out.

They also don't miss the opportunity to tell us it would be “no problem” and it would be “his pleasure” to come get me in his big four-wheel-drive pickup that I need a stepladder to climb into (as compared to my 10-year-old two-wheel-drive Honda CRV. He would be happy to pick me up, “anytime.”

Anyway, I decided to see how my car would perform, so I stopped writing the email to go and check it out. It was at this time that my 4 foot, 11 inch vertically challenged daughter informed me that I wasn't going anywhere.

She told me that the garage door was frozen shut! It wouldn’t open. Rule # 3: Don’t have your garage door facing north into the wind at the south end of a north-south frozen lake.

Well! Now the shoe is on the other foot! I am the father, I am Pop, I am the hero, I can do anything, and I have, many times. Once again, it is time to saddle up and ride to the rescue. Usually I have my trusty companion with me, but that roll of duct tape was frozen solid in my unheated garage.

My other daughter gave me a birthday card last year that says, “There's Nothing that Dad and Duct Tape Can’t Fix.”

One of my grandsons gave me a baseball hat that reads, “DUCT  TAPE  DOUG” across the front.

Ah yes, the respect that flows from our children and grandchildren, the younger generation, to the OMOTM types, the older generation, just makes the goose bumps jump out all over the place! Good thing it is always accompanied with a lot of love.

So out into the cold garage I went. I first confirmed that the door was, indeed, frozen shut. Sometimes kids are mistaken.

I then set about scientifically fixing the problem, which involved vigorously kicking the bottom of the door while simultaneously clicking the electric garage door opener. It worked.

So now that the door was open, I got in the car and drove out the driveway and turned around and drove back in, no problem. Even the small pile of snow and ice at the end of the driveway left by the town snowplow proved to be just a speed bump.

I unsaddled my horse, rubbed him down, gave him his feed bag, and went back into the house and deleted the email to the OF asking for help. That really means I closed the garage door and went into the house, bragging that I fixed the frozen door.

So I remain the hero that can fix anything. The OF will have to tell me how old I am another day. I then sat down and rubbed my toes on my right foot because they were a little sore from kicking the door.

Oh, before I go, if you really want to know what the OMOTM talked about other than the cold and wind? There was an extended conversation all about car heaters. Imagine that.

Do you know the Nash, made by American Motors, was the last car manufacturer to still offer the car-heater as an option? It was standard equipment for all the other cars by that time.

The limited number of OFs who decided to make it to breakfast this week were: Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Ed Goff who had to leave early to take his grandson to work (another hero in action), Frank A. Fuss, Jamey Darrah, Wm Lichliter, Pastor Jay Francis, Warren Willsey, Gerry Cross, Jack Norray, Dick Dexter, John Jaz, Herb Bahrmann, and me.