Sick of being sick

I’ve been having a rough time of it lately. Truly, my moniker “Cranky Frankie” is getting a workout these days.

It started with a February drive down to Florida. We got to see some friends on the way down, which was great. That’s why, when I go south, I’d much rather drive than fly. So much to see and do on the way. You miss a lot when you just fly over everything.

My daughter rents a huge house down there so family members can just drop in and out when they can. To be playing with the grandkids in the pool, hot tub, and at the well equipped amusement center is just priceless. Making memories with the grandkids makes it all worthwhile, surely.

My problems started about three days before we were scheduled to depart. I started feeling really lousy, very flu-like. The kicker is the cough I had to go along with it.

Have you ever heard the expression “he’s coughing up a lung?” That’s what this was like, a full-bodied, hacking cough that hurt so bad it was like someone was gouging a rasp up and down my throat. Just terrible.

I went to an urgent-care facility down there and got flu medicine, which helped, but it took days for the cough to go away. I hope to never have anything like that happen again. I’m getting shivers just thinking about it.

Tip: Those little honey-flavored throat lozenges like Ricola really help. I was guzzling them. And don’t forget good old-fashioned cough syrup. That thick, sugary stickiness helps soothe the throat. It’s hard not to drink the whole bottle when you’re really hurting like I was.

By the way, the weather in Florida in mid to late February wasn’t much different than it was up here, if you can believe that. It was just freezing most mornings, making beach activities problematic. There were plenty of other fun things to do, but don’t think it’s always perfect weather down there during our long, cold winters, because it’s not.

When we returned home, I decided to see an ophthalmologist about a problem I’ve been having with my eyes for some time now. They start to tear up, making them itch and making my glasses hard to keep clean. Really annoying.

It turns out, if the brain thinks the eyes are dry, it makes them tear. So you think you have too many tears when you actually have too little. That’s why they make “artificial tears.” Who knew?

If you follow the news, you know that not too long ago some folks became blind using bacteria-infected artificial tears. Holy moly. Another thing to worry about.

The ophthalmologist then told me my right eye wasn’t draining properly. Turns out there are drains in the eyes that send the tears down your throat. So I had surgery to put a stent in my right eye.

The stent fell out, I had another one put in, then I had all kinds of eye-itching and tearing problems. For someone who reads as much as I do — three newspapers and three books a week — having any kind of eye problem is devastating.

Another tip: Eyesight is precious. Wear safety glasses when you work on stuff, don’t stare at the sun, wear sunglasses, and take good care of your eyes. Can’t afford not to.

As if all of the above weren’t enough to deal with, I had to have a second round of laser surgery on my gums. I have a bridge in my mouth that I religiously take care of with floss threaders and such, but it was getting diseased underneath.

The laser cleans that all up. But, following that surgery, I could only eat soft, mushy foods for a week, and I have to baby the area for a month (no brushing or flossing there, yech).

Sometimes you’re the bug, sometimes you’re the windshield. Just gotta deal with it.

Though I’m no spring chicken in my mid-sixties, I consider myself to be in great health. I exercise six days a week, eat healthy, and get enough sleep. Still, at this point I’ve had seven surgeries:

— 1. Arthroscopic surgery on my right shoulder;

— 2. Arthroscopic surgery on my left shoulder;

— 3. Double hernia surgery;

— 4. Arthroscopic surgery on my right shoulder, again;

— 5. Periodontal laser surgery;

— 6. Eye duct surgery; and

— 7. Periodontal laser surgery, again.

And that’s not even counting all the colonoscopies, endoscopes, root canals, MRIs, CT scans, etc. For someone so healthy, I’m a real basket case!

The good news is our health-care system is capable of taking care of so much more now than it did years ago. There are drugs and procedures for everything.

The problem is the rules and regulations for health care — especially after you reach age 65 — are too convoluted and confusing. I don’t know what the answer here is.

Everyone involved — doctors, nurses, drug companies, insurance companies — and all have their own agendas. No one seems able to get them all together to make it easier for us normal folks who just want to be treated fairly. Is that too much to ask in the greatest country in the world?

When you get older, so much of your health outcomes are dependent on the decisions you make each day. You have to eat right, first of all. If you like greasy burgers, don’t eat them every day.

You have to sleep enough. Don’t sit there scrolling your social media feed before bed because then you’ll never relax and fall asleep properly.

And you have to do some kind of exercise daily, even if it’s “just” walking. I put walking in quotes because it’s actually one of the best things you can do; easy, fun, low impact, and productive. Walk as much as you can; you’ll never regret it.

We’re all going to get sick from time to time. No way around that. Now please excuse me, I need to get a tissue.