The constant exposure to advertising

After I complete my morning ablutions, the first thing I do is turn on the TV to see if there have been any new mass shootings, COVID outbreaks, or freak storms since I went to bed. Then, if I’m lucky and the delivery guy shows up on time, I read the newspaper.

Often, I’ll be reading in depth about what they only have seconds to talk about on TV. The juxtaposition of the fleeting images on the screen with the deeper coverage in print has served me ably over the years. Like wine and cheese, they go together very well.

On the TV, they take many breaks for commercials. In fact, the all-news channels I often watch seem to have the most commercials. There are of course advertisements in the newspaper as well. Not as many as there used to be, unfortunately, but they are still there.

Now I’m in the truck, driving to work. You expect commercials on for-profit radio stations. Yet, even on my beloved National Public Radio, I have to hear them as well.

If you think public radio is funded by the government, you would be only partly right. Public radio in fact mostly depends upon our donations and advertising, although they call it underwriting.

No matter: By the time I get to work each day, I’ve already seen, read, and heard plenty of commercials. There is just no way to escape it, it seems, aside from hiding in a cave (wouldn’t it be ironic if some ancient cave wall hieroglyphics were actually advertisements, haha).

During the day, I check social media on occasion. You never know when the grandkids will do something cute.

Of course, for this privilege, you have to look at endless ads for everything and anything. Sigh. At least, because I’m not consumed by cats like everyone else, I can scroll right past those endless cat videos, thank goodness.

On the way home, between all the yelling and screaming on the sports talk-radio shows, are more commercials. Then of course there are more on the TV at night.

The only time during the entire day when I know I won’t be subjected to advertising is when I finally get to sit down with a good book before bedtime. Good old paper books, without advertising: You just can’t beat them.

I remember in a business course in college the professor tried to justify the need for advertising. From a strictly business point of view, you can’t buy a product if you don’t even know it exists, so there is that.

But the main reason for suffering through the endless barrage of advertising we all deal with, he said, was that it provides jobs. Who can argue with that?

We need our friends and neighbors to have good paying jobs so they can provide for themselves and, by paying taxes, provide for all of us. So, if you look at it that way, you have to agree that advertising is good in at least that one respect.

Of course, there are all kinds of advertising. For many years, I stood shoulder to shoulder on jam-packed subway cars with nothing to look at except the advertising, which was often quite creative (looking anyone in the eye on the subway is just asking for trouble). Hey, in a captive situation like that, even a lousy Verizon ad can take your mind to a better place.

Sometimes newspaper print ads can be really great. I’d even say they are in a renaissance right about now.

Recently, there was a full page ad for the Fender Telecaster guitar, the first really successful solid-body, amplified guitar, in The Times that was stunning. Had they listed a price to get a framed color copy I would have jumped on it, because it was that good.

Same thing with the new BMW car ads: “You don’t want to rent a car. You want to rent THE car.” Great stuff.

One place where advertising is a big fail is on social media. Maybe you’ve experienced the following: You search for some product or service online, and then get relentlessly bombarded for ads for those products for weeks after.

It literally makes you stop and think, do I really need to search for this? What a royal pain that is.

Another social-media advertising failure is when you see a fantastic video for something that looks really neat. Then you order it, wait a month (probably because it’s coming from China); then, when it arrives, it’s either nowhere near as good as they made it seem, or it’s something completely different.

I’ve been burned twice by this, such that I will never order anything directly from a social-media post ever again. There are just too many scams out there to trust any of the ads.

I’m the kind of person who just doesn’t like anything to do with doctors, medicine, hospitals, etc. That’s one reason I workout six days a week.

The healthier I can keep myself, the less of the medical profession I’ll have to deal with. At least that’s what I hope.

But, if you just want to watch the national news, you are forced, over and over, to learn about “hormone receptor-positive, HER2-node negative metastatic breast cancer, with an aromatase inhibitor,” whatever all that means.

Then they list so many side effects — some of which include death — that, if you weren’t sick before hearing all this, you probably are now. So then you click the mute button.

No relief, because on the screen it then says “the perineum is the space between the anus and genitals.” Jeez, I just ate dinner; give me a break!

Look, I’m married to a breast-cancer survivor, so I know this stuff is important, but that’s why you work hard to get a good job, so you can get health care and then talk to your doctor about it.

It’s like the endless Good Feet Store commercials, where people are in tears over how great their arch supports are. But what about those of us who don’t have flat feet, thank goodness?

After seeing these commercials a thousand times, I really hope I never have to step into a Good Feet Store. I’m sure they are very nice people, but enough is enough.

There is one bit of advertising that is truly annoying, and that is the endless phone calls for various offers. For example, I’ve received so many calls offering to help me extend my vehicle warranty, that it’s to the point where I know I’ll never be truly alone in life, no matter how long I live.

That’s because, I’m sure, there will always be someone calling me to help me extend my vehicle warranty. You hate to be a negative person, but you just about have to screen all your calls at this point.

The timeshare phase seems to be dying out lately, but there was a time when we’d get offers of free dinners, giveaways, lodging, and cash just to sit through a 90-minute timeshare presentation.

Think about it: How bad must something be if they have to spend all that money just to get you to sit through their spiel?

I know some folks get good use out of timeshares, but the maintenance fees just keep going higher and higher, and they don’t stop when you can’t use the timeshare because of other events or responsibilities.

I haven’t been to a timeshare presentation for several years now, what a relief. So high pressure. Never again if I can help it.

Advertising isn’t all bad, of course. Every year around the holidays they have those World’s Greatest Commercials shows. Think about that, a show full of commercials, with commercials between the commercials.

Sounds awful, but some commercials, especially those from other countries, are really unique and very funny.

Then there are the classic commercials we all know and love from back in the day: “Where’s the Beef?,” “I’m not gonna pay a lot for this muffler!,” “Momma mia, that’s a spicy meata-ball!”

In fact, I’ve never been to a Williams Lumber store, but they used to feature their kids and grandkids in their commercials, and the kids stole the show. So well written, charming, and funny, I actually miss them.

If I ever get to a Williams Lumber store, I’ll be sure to tell them how much I miss their commercials, and ask them how the kids are doing.

I just really, really hope I never need arch supports.