Two daughters remember
Mary Ellen Gordon, a farmer and a fighter


KNOX — Mary Ellen Gordon is remembered by her two daughters as a fighter, a lover of fresh air, a champion of education, and a woman who shared a true-life love story with her husband, Alexander "Sandy" Gordon.

She died on Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2007 in their home on Beebe Road where she had lived for 23 years. She was 54.

Mrs. Gordon was diagnosed with lung cancer four years ago and her 21-year-old daughter, Margaret, said yesterday that her mother had won the battle.
"She fought with everything she had," said Maggie Gordon. "In my eyes, she won. She could have quit at any time and no one would have blamed her. She felt a lot of pain. But my mother wasn’t a quitter. She wanted to set a good example for Sarah and me."
"She cared about people and, in the end, you could see how much people cared about her," said 23-year-old Sarah Gordon. "People just came out of the woodwork to help in the last few weeks."

Mrs. Gordon was born in Delmar, the younger daughter of the late Marjorie and William Murphy. She graduated from Bethlehem High School in 1971 and earned a bachelor’s degree in biology from the State University of New York College at Brockport in 1975.

Three years later, she was out with friends, including one Sandy Gordon and his dog, Happy.
"Happy put his head in my Mom’s lap," said Maggie Gordon. "I don’t know if my Dad had trained him to do that but it got her talking to my Dad."
Happy, who was a "mutt through and through," was Sandy Gordon’s best friend, his daughter said, and became like a member of the Gordon family; he died on their 10th anniversary.
"Just after Mom told us her illness had gotten worse, we went to lunch. She said she had lived a true-life love story and she hoped my sister and I would be as lucky," said Maggie Gordon.

Sandy Gordon proposed to Mary Ellen in California while the couple traveled cross country by motorcycle in the late 1970s.

Traveling was always important to the Gordons, their daughters said.
"They believed it was very important to go to work every day and give it your all, but sometimes you need a break," said Maggie Gordon. "The four of us would do it together, sometimes with family friends."

They took ski vacations up north and beach vacations in the Carolinas.
Maggie Gordon recalled a trip before Sarah’s last year of high school, which their mother dramatically proclaimed might be their last as the daughters took wing. "We drove 38 hours straight to Wyoming. Sarah and Dad hiked. Mom and I told them we were hiking and we took a boat ride and read some good books," Maggie Gordon said with a laugh.
Then, in a more serious tone, she went on, "Mom really wanted Sarah and I to get a broader perspective of what our country had to offer."
Mrs. Gordon also traveled with her sister, Judith. They visited Jamaica, Alaska, and the United Kingdom together and returned with stories that "brought smiles to the faces of all who listened," said Maggie Gordon.

Mrs. Gordon’s daughter said she had a love for fresh air and enjoyed the world’s natural beauty.
"I grew up on a Ford tractor," said Maggie Gordon. "I used to sit on her knee as she drove through Dad’s hay fields."
"My Mom and Dad have always been avid farmers and try to live in connection with the land," said Sarah Gordon.

Her mother’s interest in the environment led Sarah to her current studies, she said. After graduating from Marist College with a double major in political science and environmental science, she is now pursing a master’s degree at the University of Vermont in natural resource management.
"I got interested in politics from my Dad," said Sarah; her father had been on the Knox Town Board and is currently a county legislator.
"My Mom thought I should see what about politics drove me and came up with the idea of environmental policy," she said.
She is concentrating on the way communities can manage their resources, rather than follow "cookie-cutter" plans, said Sarah Gordon.
"You have to focus," she said, "on connecting the community, getting people to look at what surrounds them" — something her mother always did.
"She was a Brownie leader when we were kids. She’d drive kids to nursery school. She’d volunteer for field trips. She worked on the BKW budget committee and on the library committee"She always believed in public service," said Sarah Gordon.

The family ran two different businesses and both parents were equally involved, said Sarah Gordon. Mrs. Gordon was vice president of Gordon Hay & Straw while Mr. Gordon was president; that business was sold in 1995 after 20 years. Mrs. Gordon was president of Gordon Farms and Mr. Gordon was vice president.

Mrs. Gordon held a master’s degree in accounting, which she earned in 1984 from the University at Albany. She was an accountant for the family business and also worked as an auditor for the Office of the State Comptroller for the past six years.

She helped put her husband through college and then the two of them put her through her master’s degree, said Sarah Gordon.
"She really believed in the value of education," she went on. "She made very clear that, no matter what happened this year, we should finish our degrees on time."
"A woman going back for a graduate degree was unusual in her generation," said Maggie Gordon. "She was really intense about learning as much as you can to make an impact in the world. Both of our parents were educated through the SUNY system, which they loved. They wanted to offer us a little more. It was important to them we went to the best schools we could."

Maggie Gordon is currently a senior at Syracuse University’s S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications, where she is majoring in journalism and women’s studies with a minor in psychology.
"The value system in our house," Maggie Gordon went on, "was never about how much money you made or climbing the power ladder but what was important was how happy you were, doing what you love."
She said her mother was a constant at her daughters’ volleyball games all through high school and was known to cheer louder than any other parent. She always hung her children’s report cards on the refrigerator. "Our dean’s lists certificates are there right now," said Maggie Gordon.
Mary Ellen Gordon was never shy to say, "I love you," said her daughter, and she never gave up hope, inspiring those around her to persevere through their own struggles.

She had insisted her daughters enroll for classes this semester and Maggie Gordon was back at Syracuse Tuesday when she got the call telling her she should come home right away.
"When my Mom’s mother died, she was away at college. She didn’t make it home on time and she never really forgave herself," said Maggie Gordon. "Sarah told Mom on Tuesday that I’d be home in a little while and she held on for me. I sat with her and I held her hand. I was with her for 10 or 15 minutes," she said, her voice breaking with emotion.
"We were everything to her. She wanted to make sure I didn’t feel the guilt she had felt. I’m so glad I had a chance to tell her what she meant to me. I think she heard me. She waited for me, to let go. That meant everything."

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Calling hours will be at Fredendall Funeral Home in Altamont on Saturday, Sept. 15, from 1 to 5 p.m., followed directly by a service at the funeral home.

Memorial contributions may be made to the American Lung Association of New York State, 155 Washington Ave., Suite 220, Albany, NY 12210.