Miller mourned"Lived every single moment to the fullest"

EAST BERNE — James E. Miller was a young man who lived life to the fullest even, or especially, when he knew death was near. He died on Sunday, May 21, 2006, at St. Peter’s Hospital in Albany. He was 19.
"He was outgoing," said his father, Dennis Miller. "He always smiled and laughed. He loved school, he loved his teachers, he loved everyone — and they loved him."

James had muscular dystrophy, a progressive muscle disorder characterized by gradual irreversible wasting of skeletal muscle.
"His older brother had the same disease and passed away at the same age," said Mr. Miller. The family has been able to carry on, he said, because "we’ve gotten a lot of support from a lot of people."

Guilderland High School, where James attended classes in a BOCES program, was in mourning this week. The flag in front of the school was flown at half-mast and a moment of silence was observed in his memory.
"A lot of people knew him," said Superintendent Gregory Aidala. "It’s very sad."
"He was an angel on earth," said Karen Mattice. "I had the privilege of being his one-on-one educational assistant for three years."

She described with great fondness a young man who was cheerful in the face of all odds.
"He always had a smile regardless of how challenging the situation was going to be," she said. "He very willingly accepted all people and their questions regarding his disease or his wheelchair. He wanted them to get to know him rather than his illness."
Ms. Mattice said that James accepted his fate. "When he was little, he watched his brother lie on the couch and pass...James just accepted what would happen. You know those stages of grief they talk about — anger and denial and all" He had gone through all that. When I met him, he was already at acceptance."
She went on to describe how his philosophy permeated those around him. "He knew he would die young," said Ms. Mattice, "so he lived every single moment of every day to the fullest.
"He taught me not to wait till tomorrow to say that extra kind word to someone; it might not come...As a parent, you think you’ll send your child to school and they’ll get educated by the teachers. In this case, James was the teacher who educated us on life and the meaning of living it for today."
James had an effect, she said, not just on those students in the BOCES program but on people throughout Guilderland High School. He signed up for lunch with the new principal, she said, and talked to him about what he thought would help the school. "He really felt like part of the high school," said Ms. Mattice.
James took a photography class with the mainstream students, she said. "The students included him and willingly helped him as much as he helped them," said Ms. Mattice. "He knew what it meant to capture the moment, in photography and in life....People who were only around him for half-an-hour felt like they knew what it was like to get the most out of a moment."

James also participated in a bowling club, using a ramp at Town ’N’ Country Lanes, said Ms. Mattice.
He reveled in being a high-school senior, she said. James was due to graduate in June. "We ordered his cap and gown and his ring," said Ms. Mattice. "He got his picture taken with the Class of 2006 and they put that in the high-school hallway. He was all set to give a senior speech to his own class."

He was also in the midst of practicing for a talent show. Ms. Mattice gave percussion lessons twice a week to James and two other students.
"He was going to play the xylophone one-handed," she said. "He was practicing a jazz version of ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’ that went into ‘Rock Around the Clock.’ He always loved ’50’s music; that was his thing."
On Friday night, James went to the prom, which BOCES held at the Clarion. "I was his escort," said Ms. Mattice. "It was his third prom. I’m really glad we had our picture taken together."
She went on, "He was very determined to go to what he called his senior prom."
James wore a nice shirt and tie — no tux. "He wasn’t the frilly type," said Ms. Mattice. "He was a down-to-earth kid.
"He loved his car models and car shows," she said.
His father said James enjoyed helping him restore a 1960 Corvair. "He’d help with the chrome, wiping things down, whatever he could do," said his father.

James also liked art. He took art classes at school and especially enjoyed painting watercolors, Ms. Mattice said.

And, he liked to read. At the time of his death, he was reading a book about Boston because his class was planning a day-long trip to the city on Thursday. Instead, they’ll be going to his funeral on Thursday.
"We’ve really tried to keep things open," said Ms. Mattice in describing how James’s classmates are dealing with his death. "We told them, ‘Sometimes, you’re going to feel like crying; sometimes, you’re going to feel like smiling as you think of things he said; other times, you’ll be doing regular activities.’"
"They brought in extra social workers and Guilderland High School volunteered their own administrators so our staff could deal with it," said Ms. Mattice, expressing her gratitude.
"James was one of those unsung heroes," concluded Ms. Mattice.
He maintained his independence, even in a wheelchair. "When he got his power wheelchair, he knew how to drive it right away. He drove a lawnmower, so he didn’t even really need a lesson," she said of driving the power wheelchair. "Just this past Thursday, James said one wish his parents got him was a go-cart. He wanted a hand control on it....
"He could drive his power wheelchair by himself. He didn’t need me by his side....He’d go to the library by himself to return a book. He was always so diligent about returning books on time."
If a door was shut, she said, James would bang on it with the front part of his wheelchair. "People would come and open it," said Ms. Mattice. They’d be rewarded with James’s smile.
"He could have easily been a complainer and said, ‘Why me"’" said Ms. Mattice, but he wasn’t.
"You know how people ask, ‘How are you today"’ James would say, ‘Good.’ James’s ‘good’ would be our ‘poor.’ He would answer, ‘Good,’ and he just kept going. Every day, his Mom helped him get on the bus. He got to school. That was good.
"He loved that environment. He always found things to be learned and explored. And he taught all of us how to feel good."

***

James E. Miller is survived by his parents, Dennis and Jane Miller, of Knox; one brother, Michael, of Knox; his grandparents, Betty Murgola, of Schenectady, and Mary and Joseph Lucey of Castleton, N.Y.

He is also survived by his dear friends Pat Courtright and Mr. and Mrs. Thompson, and by his special teachers, Karen Mattice, Anne Gabriel, and Richard Ryan. He is survived, too, by many aunts, uncles, and cousins.

His brother, Dennis V. Miller, died in 1994.

A funeral service will be held today (Thursday) at 11 a.m. at the Fredendall Funeral Home in Altamont. Burial will be in Knox Cemetery.

Memorial contributions may be made to the Helderberg Ambulance Squad, Post Office Box 54, East Berne, NY 12059.